The ceremony's end bled into celebration.

Karma stormed the dining hall, feet slamming stone, eyes tethered to the high-ranking personnel feasting at the far end of the room. She swam through air thick with alcohol and smoke. She clambered rowdy tables swaying to drinking shanties. She plowed soldiers shouting and tossing bets around an arm wrestling match. She dodged raised mugs and overflowing plates until, finally, she reached Captain Levi seated before untouched stuffing and glazed ham. She jerked his shoulder. "What the hell is your—"

"Don't you ever listen to orders?" He gripped her arm, yanking her to his level. His voice was low and sharp. Karma made no effort at discretion.

"When they make sense. You can't say I'd be a good Scout and then tell me to join a different regiment!"

The table quieted. The officers studied their interaction with narrowed eyes. Levi offered an apologetic bow. "Excuse us," he said, rising from the bench. The chatter resumed, though a few questioning eyes followed as Levi pulled Karma near the alleyway door.

She yanked free of his vise. "Why did you tell me to join the MPs? You owe me that much."

He leaned against a stone pillar. "There's no point in telling you. You never listen."

"If I'm such a nuisance, why bother saving me at Trost?"

"Your life was in danger and I'm sworn to defend humanity. Didn't leave me much choice."

"So you saved me out of obligation?"

He shrugged, studying hairlines and chinks in the stone.

"And then before graduation, there were hundreds of cadets you could've pulled aside. Why me?"

Levi's hands clenched. He glanced around for eavesdroppers. Mikasa caught his eye from across the hall. He grabbed Karma's arm and dragged her into the dingy alley. The strays scattered. The rowdy celebration muffled when he slammed and leaned against the door.

"You did it again," Karma said.

"What?"

"Pulled me aside." She crossed her arms. "I fought at Trost, I spent my gas, I faced a Titan. God, Levi, what more could I have done?"

He rubbed his temple. "It's not what you did at Trost. It's what I did."

"What you did?"

"Don't be dense, Karma. You said yourself that you didn't scream and it sure as hell wasn't luck."

"What does that mean?"

He dragged a hand down his face. "It means I was looking for you." Then, as if to dampen the impact of his words, he added, "Keeping you alive is a real pain in the ass."

"I never asked you to keep me alive."

"That's the problem. It was my choice."

"Then punish yourself for making the wrong choice. Not me."

"The only wrong choice made was your regiment. If you would've just joined the MPs like you were supposed to, this could all finally be over."

"You aren't making sense, Captain. What could finally be over?"

"This!" His hands sliced the open air between them. Karma tried to look unaffected. She shrugged.

"There's nothing there."

Levi gripped her shoulders. "That's what I keep telling myself, but I still abandoned the regiment at Trost to find you."

"I think the word you're looking for is compassion."

He dropped his hands. "God, is this really one-sided? Am I the only one suffering?"

"Sorry my presence is so painful."

He pinched the skin between his eyes. "Not just your presence. Your absence too."

Her head simmered.

"Forget it. I'm going inside. Smells like shit and cat piss." He turned, but Karma slipped herself between him and the door.

"Levi."

"Don't make this harder, Karma."

"You shove me away to the MPs but you don't want me gone?"

"It's not like that."

"Then explain to me what it's like. Please. Talk to me."

"Fine." His jaw flexed. "I didn't want you joining the Scouts because I can't keep forfeiting my duties for you."

"But I never asked you to—"

"I know you never asked, but that's what's going to happen. If you're in danger, I'll look for you. I'll sacrifice the mission to save you. That's not what captains are supposed to do." He grasped her shoulders again. He lowered his voice. "This isn't how captains are supposed to feel."

"How do you feel?"

"Tortured." His fingers buried into her shoulders as if pressing deep enough could end his agony.

"Because of me?"

"Yes."

Karma became hyper aware of her breathing. She could hear her heart sprinting in her ears, pulsing her with hot blood.

"Because you want me?" she said.

"Yes."

Captain Levi would lose his position. She would be on probation. All she ever wanted was his attention and respect, but now it didn't suffice. She wanted all of him.

"You're not the only one being tortured," she said.

Levi was silent, fingers still dimpling her shoulders.

"Maybe we just need to get it out of our systems. Then everything can go back to normal."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't tempt me, Karma."

"No one has to find out."

His eyes grazed her lips and cheeks, her neck and collarbone. His hands slid from her shoulders to the door, trapping her against it. The warmth of his body radiated onto her, the heat rising as the space between them dissolved.

Levi's face was smooth and flawless up close. "This never happened," he said, hot breath caressing her lips. Karma nodded. Anticipation roared through her. "Just enough to get it out of our systems." She nodded again, burning.

Then he was against her, their chests and lips pressed together. She found herself enveloped in his cloak, his arms. But it was like quenching her thirst with salt water. She couldn't crush her lips deep enough, so she tried her tongue. The sweet champagne on his breath intoxicated her senses.

Karma tore at her jacket and unclasped his cloak—anything that kept her skin from experiencing his. Her fingers danced across the sculpted muscles of his chest, the raised ridges of battle scars. She familiarized herself with these marks, determined to memorize exactly how he felt.

Levi gripped her hips and lifted her against the door. Karma wrapped her legs around his waist. His body rolled against hers, their hips and chests grinding together.

Her back thumped the door.

Her nails dug crescent moons into his shoulders.

Her moans became more and more difficult to stifle. She gasped aloud, but Levi muffled the sound with his mouth. "Shhh," he said.

The thirst burned until their heated passion reached its dizzyingly-high peak.

Against the door and tangled in her legs, Levi sighed and pressed his forehead against Karma's. He smelled like pine and clean laundry.

It was surreal. Just days ago, she'd dreamt of catching his eye or winning a small smile. But somehow, she bypassed every barrier and entered the chambers of his heart. It was more of him than she ever dreamed of having to herself.

Karma suppressed the giggle bubbling up her throat—there was no other way to release her giddiness. An abrupt, sputtering laugh escaped that shook her stomach, and she clamped a hand to her mouth.

"That bad?" Levi said.

She unlatched from his waist and stood on her feet, eye-level with his nose. She shook her head. "No, sorry. I have no clue where that came from. I promise it wasn't bad. Actually it was…really good." Understatement of her life. She couldn't meet his eyes.

Levi didn't reply and the silence fueled a flicker of embarrassment. Didn't he feel the same way? Maybe he just didn't know what to say? Karma prompted him, "Did you think it was…good?" She finally managed to look at him. He was swallowing and nodding, looking to the side. He scratched his shoulder.

"Yeah."

His answer seemed forced. Was he disappointed? Had he built up this moment in his mind only to realize that Karma wasn't what he'd expected? Was the intensity and magic all in her head?

Maybe she'd done something wrong, like killing the mood too suddenly with her giddiness.

Or was it her body? The imperfect scars and moles? The stretch marks on her thighs? She wished she knew, but, at the same time, she didn't want to confirm her insecurities.

Levi bent over the puddles of clothes around their feet. He slid back into his white button-up. He looped the belt through his pants. Karma stood, picking her nails to distract herself from her thoughts, until Levi held out a pair of black panties.

The realization of what they'd done hadn't really sunk in until she took the panties from him—the panties Captain Levi himself had taken off.

In the moment, she didn't question anything. Of course he would unlatch her bra. Of course he would touch her bare chest. Of course he would pull her panties to her ankles. Her mind had been foggy with lust, and all of those things felt natural and right.

But now, in the clarity, those things were foreign. They didn't happen between her and Captain Levi. It wasn't possible—he would never want those things from her—she'd only imagined the chambers of his heart opening up to her.

But the panties were in her hand. The evidence was irrefutable.

"Thanks." She finished dressing. "Should we get back inside?" She expected a one-word answer at most or a nod at least, but instead Captain Levi said the most terrifying words she'd ever heard.

"We need to talk about what happened."

Karma's stomach dropped like she'd swallowed a lump of iron. She didn't want to address his forced "Yeah" or hear about how foolish their fooling around had been or how she'd failed to meet his expectations. She just wanted to lock up the memory of those blissful minutes in a treasure chest, tuck it away, and never open it again.

But instead she said, "Okay."

"Good." Levi folded his arms, a shield between them. He watched his foot roll around a pebble. He cleared his throat. "You track your cycle, don't you? Are we in the clear?"

Karma nodded.

Levi's cheeks puffed as he exhaled. "Thank God. Probably should've discussed that beforehand."

"Yeah."

"Well, then there's no reason this should affect us."

Karma nodded.

"Obviously, it can't happen again."

Karma didn't respond. She watched his foot kick the pebble. It skittered into the shadows. She kept her gaze fixed there.

"Karma, are you listening?"

She nodded again.

"What did I say?"

"You said it can't happen again."

"And you agree, right?"

Karma shrugged, eyes still focused on the shadows.

Levi heaved a sigh that was almost a groan. "You said one time would get me out of your system."

"Maybe I lied."

"Come on. You know why this can't continue—it's not worth the risk."

"Maybe for you." She returned to picking at her fingernails.

"There's nothing here, remember?" He circled the space between them with his hands. "Why risk your position and everything you've worked for for nothing?"

She shrugged again.

"Stop being so goddamn difficult. You're not even looking at me."

She finally met his eyes. They were intense. "Well, I'm sorry I'm not having an easy time forgetting what just happened," she said. "And sue me for maybe wanting to do it again."

"If it's going to be this hard for you, then this was clearly a mistake."

She scoffed. "A mistake?

"Yeah. A mistake."

Hot tears welled in her eyes, blurring Levi's features to a hazy watercolor. Her voice threatened to crack. "The hell is your problem, Levi? How can you just say something like that?"

"Karma, don't—"

"Doesn't that stupid heart of yours feel anything?" Tears were clinging to her lashes, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Before he could respond, she left him in the alley and slammed the door.