Hello there, fellow fanfic authors! To those waiting for the next chapter of Sonic Forces: Join the Uprising, I must once again extend my sincerest apologies for the radio silence on my part. I've been... distracted. But I promise that I will get that story done by the end of this year. In the meantime, have a Vanitas centric Christmas one-shot. I wrote this last year on AO3, so I figured I'd post it here. Just to show everyone I'm still alive. Please read, review, and enjoy.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Disney and Square Enix. I own nothing.
TW: Mentions of child abuse later in the story (a reference to Vanitas' backstory in the novel).
Christmas with the Darkness
Ah, Christmas. There was no holiday that could quite compare to it. Spending time with your family, exchanging gifts, children playing in the snow. Yes, Christmas was a truly magical time. So what would be the best way to spend Christmas? For Sora, the answer was a trip to Arendelle. Elsa and Anna were hosting a Christmas party at their castle and the first person they thought to invite was the boy who helped reunite them and save their kingdom. And of course, Sora didn't come alone. To him, it wouldn't be Christmas without his friends. To that end, he invited all of the Guardians of Light to the party. He, along with Riku and Kairi, arrived early to help set up the party. It didn't take long for the other Guardians of Light and their friends to arrive. Mickey brought his beloved wife Minnie along with Donald and Goofy. Roxas brought Lea and Xion along with Isa, Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and the Wayfinder Trio (Terra, Aqua, and Ventus) came as well.
They were likely violating the World Order a hundred times over, but hey, it was Christmas. Rules could be broken once and a while, right?
And so, with everyone present, the party finally got underway. The ballroom was filled to the brim with Christmas decorations of all kind, the centerpiece being an utterly massive Christmas tree. A table was loaded with all manner of exotic meals courtesy of the castle's best chefs. The music of the band filled the room. The Christmas spirit was truly in the air as everyone was laughing and talking and just having fun. Ventus, Aqua, and Terra were at the table eating together when Sora strode on up to them. "Hey guys." Sora greeted. "Enjoying yourselves?"
"You really outdid yourself with this party, Sora." Terra said.
"Well, I had Kairi and Riku to lend a hand." Sora replied, brushing the back of his head. "I'm just glad to see everyone together again."
"Yeah." Ventus said. "We even managed to get Vanitas here."
"You brought Vanitas?" Sora asked before letting out a laugh. "Now that's a Christmas miracle if I ever saw one! How'd you manage that?"
"Well... I had to make a deal with him." Ventus said. "He'd come with us to Arendelle, but he asked to be left by himself. Of course, it was on the condition that he didn't leave the castle."
"Oh. So that's why he's not at the party." Sora said.
"And I still think this was a bad idea." Aqua finally chimed in.
"Well what else could I do, Aqua?" Ventus asked. "The only other option was to leave him at the castle by himself and I know you don't want to do that. Besides, he's been living with us for months now and he hasn't given us trouble. I'm trying to show him a life beyond just being Xehanort's puppet, after all. I can't exactly do that if we treat him like a prisoner."
"That's different." Aqua insisted. "Back home we could monitor him and keep him in line. You know how unpredictable he is. Who knows what kind of trouble he could get into?"
"Aqua, he's on a world with several Keyblade wielders." Ventus replied. "Two-thirds of whom have beaten him before. And he's not allowed to leave the castle. And you even put a tracker spell on him for good measure. I really don't think he's stupid enough or arrogant enough to try something."
"Hasn't stopped him before." Aqua pointed out.
"Oh come on, Aqua! it's Christmas." Ventus said. "Everyone deserves a little Christmas cheer. Even Vanitas."
"Ven's right." Sora said. "And who knows. Maybe some Christmas cheer will do him some good."
"I agree." Terra piped in, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "And honestly, it's kinda nice to not have to deal with his attitude for a while."
"Okay, I guess I can't argue with that." Aqua chuckled.
"That's the spirit." Terra said. "Now why don't we go on the balcony? I heard the view's lovely there."
"If you insist." Aqua said as she and Terra got up and left.
"She and Vanitas still don't get along, huh?" Sora said.
"Considering our history with him, is it that surprising?" Ventus replied. "Besides, Vanitas isn't exactly roommate of the year. Sure, he's mellowed out a lot from before, but that doesn't make him the best company." Just then, another voice appeared behind them. "Excuse me." it said. Ventus and Sora turned around to see Elsa behind them with a thoughtful look on her face. "Hey Elsa!" Sora said. "This is Ventus. Ventus, meet the Queen of Arendelle."
"Please, call me Ven. It's an honor to meet you, Your Majesty." Ventus said, giving a polite bow.
"Oh no need to be so formal." Elsa said with a dismissive hand wave. "Any friend of Sora is a friend of mine. Anyway, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I was just wondering, who were you guys talking about?"
"There's this guy we know." Sora said. "His name's Vanitas."
"Oh. Is he a friend of yours?" Elsa asked. "From the way you were talking, he sounds a bit... dangerous."
"Well... he's not as dangerous as before." Sora said. "But he's still a bit of a jerk."
"Not one for the Christmas spirit, eh?" Elsa said with a bit of a giggle.
"More like he's never celebrated it before." Ventus said. "It is his first Christmas, after all."
"He's never celebrated Christmas before?" Elsa asked. "That's sad..."
"It is." Ventus said. "All Vanitas knows is a life of fighting and violence. That's why I've been letting him live with me. To show him that there's more to life than fighting. And I brought him here cause I thought some Christmas cheer would help."
"It's really sweet that you're willing to do that for him." Elsa said. "You must really care for him."
"Well, he is my darkness." Ventus said. "So, in a way, he's my responsibility."
"Your... darkness?" Elsa asked, a look of confusion on her face.
"This is where things get complicated." Ventus began. "Vanitas is the darkness in my heart brought to life. Our old master, a cruel and evil man, ripped the darkness out of me. I would've died if not for Sora here fixing my heart. While I got to rest and heal with Terra and Aqua, Vanitas was left behind and forced to do nothing but fight and train, all so our master could forge a powerful weapon. That's why I want to help him. To give him a live he never got to have. Even though he's hurt me and my friends in the past, he still deserves his own life and all the happiness."
"You really are a kind and caring person." Elsa said. "Though I guess it must not be easy."
"Well, Vanitas can be stubborn." Ventus said. "And he's really set in his ways. I had to practically beg him to come to this party, and even then he'd rather be alone rather than mingle with people."
"Perhaps I could talk to him?" Elsa offered. Ventus and Sora blinked a few times in surprise. Never would they believe that someone would want to actually meet Vanitas. "You're welcome to try." Ventus said. "Just don't take it too personally if he starts acting mean. It's just the way he is."
"I think I can handle myself." Elsa chuckled. "Though I don't know what he looks like."
"Simple." Sora said. "Picture me with black hair, gold eyes, and a permanent scowl and you've basically got Vanitas."
"He looks like you?" Elsa asked. "But I thought he was Ven's darkness?"
"He is." Ventus said. "When my master ripped the darkness out of me, Sora helped heal my heart. And as a result, it affected Vanitas and gave him Sora's face."
"So he's your darkness, but he looks like Sora?" Elsa said. "Quite the twisted family tree you got there."
"You have no idea." Sora chuckled.
"Well, I'm gonna go talk to him." Elsa said. "You two enjoy the party."
"Will do!" Sora and Ventus said.
Meanwhile, at the castle's chapel...
Vanitas would never call himself a particularly religious person. In his opinion, if there was a God up there, then He must really hate someone like him. So it would be quite a surprise to find him holed up in a chapel of all places. A creature of darkness in a place as holy as this? The height of blasphemy. And perhaps this was exactly the reason he chose this place even though being here made it feel like his skin was crawling. No one would think to look for him here and he could be alone with his thoughts. His first choice was actually the library, but knowing what a bookworm Aqua was, she would likely go there herself. And the last thing he wanted was to deal with her or any of those damn Guardians for that matter.
In fact, he really didn't want to be at this party in the first place. For one thing, he wasn't a fan of crowds or people in general. Another thing was that he wasn't a fan of Christmas. He never really saw the point of the holiday, honestly. You sit around and give each other gifts? You could do that any day. It just seemed redundant. Besides, he never exactly had the luxury of holidays. Or vacations. Or a childhood for that matter. The closest thing he got to celebrating Christmas was whenever he felt the happiness from Ventus through their shared bond. And that only made him more bitter and resentful as it just reminded him of what he could never have. He would've been quite happy to be left alone, but unfortunately for him, there was no way in hell Aqua would trust him to stay in the Land of Departure by himself. And making that deal was the only way to get Ventus to stop pestering him.
Ventus...
Vanitas still remembered the day Sora and Ventus came to drag him out of the Realm of Darkness. He remembered the laugh of utter disbelief he had upon hearing that Ventus wanted him to come home with them. Really? After everything they've been through, after all the times they've fought, after all the times he's rejected him, now he wants to understand? He wants to just bury the hatchet, hold hands and sing Kumba-fucking-ya? Why? He never gave a damn about him before. After all, while Vanitas suffered and struggled under Xehanort for four years, Ventus got to stay in a fancy castle with Mommy Aqua and Daddy Terra. And when Vanitas tried to fix what was broken, to become whole as they were meant to be, the selfish little bastard chose to shatter their heart instead. So why would he care about him now when it no longer mattered? When all he wants to do now is just wash his hands of all of it? But that led to the biggest question of all:
What the hell was he still doing here?
The Keyblade Graveyard should have been Vanitas' grand finale, his last hurrah. He could finally be free of Xehanort, of Ventus, of the pain...! But it seemed life wasn't as done with him as he was done with it. Instead, he once again found himself denied the sweet embrace of oblivion and dragged back into this... existence. And for what? Xehanort was dead and hopefully burning in Hell, the Keyblade War was over, he tried and failed twice to merge with Ventus, and now that Sora has fixed Ventus' heart, there was little chance they could ever become one again. He should've just disappeared inside Ventus' heart like he was meant to, but here he is, just existing. Sure, he said that he was the shadow Ventus and Sora cast and he was forever at their side, but even his existence as their shadow seems meaningless. Ventus and Sora want him to find a new life, but what kind of life could he possibly live? What did he have to live for?
Lost in his thoughts, Vanitas leaned back in the pew and gave a heavy sigh, golden eyes looking up at the stained glass mural depicting angels. "It's all just so pointless..." he said.
"Excuse me." a voice called out, snapping Vanitas out of his thoughts. Immediately, he could feel a bright light emanating from behind him. It was too bright to be Aqua, and it didn't have the same pang of familiarity Ventus' light had. He turned around to find none other than Elsa, one of the New Seven Hearts, standing behind him.
"You must be Vanitas." Elsa said, wearing a polite, gentle smile befitting a queen. "I hope I'm not intruding or anything." Vanitas said nothing, but instead raised a curious eyebrow as two questions came to his mind: How did she know his name and how did she find him? When he didn't answer, Elsa spoke again. "You mind if I join you? If it's not too much trouble, I mean."
That caused Vanitas' lips to curl into a sneer. "A Princess of Heart comes to grace this lowly creature of the shadows with her presence?" he asked sarcastically, "My, what an honor for me. I'm so flattered. Well, seeing that this is your castle and your chapel, I'm hardly in a position to refuse, now am I?"
"There's the attitude." Elsa thought to herself as she sat down next to Vanitas. She couldn't help but note just how much Vanitas looked like Sora. A simple change of the hair and eye color and the two could pass as twins. A moment of awkward silence passed between them before Elsa moved to break it. "I have to say, from what Ven and Sora told me, I never imagined I'd find you here of all places." Elsa said.
"Ventus and Sora. So that explains it." Vanitas said. "Let me guess: One of them put you up to this?"
"Actually, no. I wanted to meet you myself." Elsa replied.
"Really?" Vanitas asked, his voice dripping with skepticism. "Most people only want to meet me when they want something from me. So what do you want?"
"Well I just said I wanted to meet you." Elsa reiterated. "Is that really so hard to believe?"
"Oh gee, let me think about that... Yes." Vanitas replied. "Most normal people don't want to hang out with a being of darkness."
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly most people. And I'm certainly far from normal." Elsa chuckled. "And besides, Sora and Ven seem to want to hang out with you."
"Sora's a bleeding heart who can make friends with a rock." Vanitas said. "And Ventus only keeps me around out of pity. After all, if the rest of those Guardians had their way, I'd just fade away from existence."
"Well, Aqua doesn't seem to trust you, so you might have a point there." Elsa said.
"Tch, bold of you to assume I actually care what the blueberry bitch thinks of me." Vanitas replied bitterly.
"Hey, watch the language!" Elsa chided. "This is still a chapel, after all." Vanitas scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Anyway, what are you doing here by your lonesome when there's a party going on?"
"Well if you've talked to Ventus and Sora, you should know I don't like people." Vanitas replied. "In fact, I never wanted to come to this stupid party in the first place. I'm only here because Ventus wouldn't stop begging me."
"But it's Christmas." Elsa argued. "No one should be alone on Christmas."
"I'm not into the Christmas spirit." Vanitas argued back. "And I'm not exactly keen on spending time with people who clearly don't want me around. And the Guardians only keep me around to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't get into trouble. Like I said, most people don't want to hang around with someone they consider a freak of nature." That statement caused Elsa to look downwards, her expression sullen. "I kinda know how that feels." Elsa said.
"Oh God, here it comes." Vanitas groaned, rolling his eyes once again.
"Excuse me?" Elsa asked.
"The classic 'I know what you're going through', speech." Vanitas replied. "Well with all due respect, Your Highness, no you don't."
"You don't know that." Elsa said. "Maybe I might surprise you."
"Really? I highly doubt that." Vanitas replied, his voice growing steadily more bitter and irritated. "After all, you've never had to deal with a man who only saw you as nothing but a means to an end, who'd beat you like a mule and drill it into your head that you're an abomination that never should've existed. You've never spent your entire life fighting for a singular goal only to find it was all a lie. I bet you've never had to deal with monsters that spawn from your emotions and cause you pain when they die, reminding you that you're nothing but a monster yourself. And I bet you've never had to live with an incomplete, broken heart that left you in constant pain, all the while your other half is living it up with his friends while you rot away in a barren wasteland, a daily reminder of what you can never have. Besides, how could you? You're the Queen of Arendelle. You have a fancy castle, servants waiting on you hand and foot, everyone adores you. Must be nice."
"Well, it hasn't all been sunshine and rainbows." Elsa argued. "You see-"
"Shut up!" Vanitas shouted as he stood up, darkness emanating from him like flames. "What, you think you can relate to me? You want me to cry on your shoulder? You think we can be friends just because we might have a few things in common? You, Ventus, Sora, those idiot Guardians, you're all alike! You either think I'm this poor, innocent victim that needs saving, this animal that needs to be tamed, or this broken thing that needs to be fixed! Well, here's a newsflash, Your Majesty, I don't need pity from you, or Ventus, or Sora, or ANYONE!" As he flew into his rant, several Unversed emerged from his shadow, mainly Floods. Seeing the creatures around him only fueled his irritation and he crushed one of the Floods underfoot, causing the others to flee in terror. Unfortunately, killing the Flood caused the pain it felt to feed back into Vanitas. He clutched his chest and sank back down into the seat, taking a few ragged breaths to calm himself down.
Elsa, meanwhile, sat back and watched the whole thing unfold. If Vanitas had hoped to scare her off with his display, it had the opposite effect as she truly did feel sorry for him. While she doesn't fully understand it all, it's clear that underneath the snide, cynical attitude was a boy in emotional turmoil. But what caught her attention even more so were the Unversed. The way they emerged when he got angry, the pain he apparently felt when he killed one. Was he like her? Were his powers fueled by his emotions like her ice magic? Perhaps the two had more in common than she thought. "Was I really like this?" she asked herself.
Her thoughts were interrupted, however, by something nuzzling her leg. She looked down to see one of the Floods hiding behind her. She picked it up and examined it. Honestly, if one looked past the glowing red eyes, it looked pretty cute. A weird cross between a rabbit and a cat. Its skin (if it could even be called that) was surprisingly smooth to the touch. The creature fidgeted and twitched in her hands, as if anxious about something. Elsa then looked to Vanitas, who himself was still fuming from his outburst. That's when Elsa had an idea. If these creatures were connected to Vanitas' emotions, then maybe... She held the Flood in her arms, giving it a hug. The Flood's twitching slowed to a crawl as it started to relax. It seemed to purr a bit before disappearing back into Vanitas, who stared at Elsa with a look of utter confusion.
What... did you do?" Vanitas asked.
"I just gave it a hug." Elsa said.
"You made it.. feel something." Vanitas said. Unversed only displayed the emotion they were created from. For an Unversed to feel other emotions is just strange.
"Maybe it just needed a little affection." Elsa said. "Which I think is something you might need." Vanitas grumbled and looked away, but Elsa kept speaking. "You said that my life was perfect, and that I don't know what you're going through. Well, you're wrong on both counts." Elsa outstretched her hand and conjured a small bird made of ice. Vanitas watched with awe as the bird flew away. He was aware that Elsa had ice magic, but never really cared until now.
"I told you. I'm far from normal." Elsa continued. "And my life was anything but perfect. I couldn't control my powers when I was a kid. And for the longest time, I felt like a freak. And during my coronation, I got in an argument with my sister and my magic went out of control. I ran from the castle. I thought I was better off alone. And I nearly cursed Arendelle with eternal winter. But Sora and Anna, they helped me see that my holding back my emotions wasn't helping. It was only after opening up and embracing my emotions was I finally able to control my powers. Those monsters you create; they represent what you feel, but they don't represent who you are. I don't know exactly what you've been through, and I won't pretend to understand it all, but you're more than just a creature of darkness just like I'm more than a Princess or a Queen. They're just labels. Ven and Sora believe that, otherwise they wouldn't let you live with them. And I'm sure that if you opened up to them, you might find the other Guardians are willing to do the same."
Elsa stood up and prepared to leave. "Look, I'm not gonna force you to come back to the party." she said. "But I truly believe that no one should be alone on Christmas, even a creature of darkness." With that, Elsa took her leave as Vanitas and the other Floods stared at her.
Back at the party...
Having returned from their moment alone on the balcony, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus were once again sitting at the table when who but Vanitas would walk into the ballroom. The trio watched as Vanitas walked up to the table and sat down next to them. "Something the matter?" Vanitas snapped, taking note of them staring at him.
"So you finally decided to join us, huh?" Terra asked.
"Yeah. That a problem?" Vanitas asked.
"No." Aqua replied. "It's just that considering how insistent you were at being left alone, it's surprising to see you here."
"Well, I changed my mind." Vanitas said. "Last time I checked, people are capable of doing that."
"True, but it'd be nice to know why." Aqua said.
"Unfortunately, that falls under the 'it's none of your fucking business' category." Vanitas said. "Now, are you gonna pass me those cinnamon rolls or are we gonna play 20 Questions all night?"
"You know, you could try to be a bit more civil." Terra chided, passing him the cinnamon rolls in an obvious attempt at defusing what was likely going to be a heated argument. "It is the holidays after all."
"Bah fucking humbug." Vanitas grumbled as he took a bite out of his cinnamon roll. As Aqua gave an exasperated sigh, Ventus looked to Elsa, who was talking with her sister Anna. Elsa turned to Ventus and gave a wink in return. That told him all he needed to know. Somehow, Elsa managed to get through to him. Not completely, anyway. It would probably take quite a while for Vanitas to consider any of them his friends, assuming he ever does. But maybe little things like this are what he needs. Just the four of them hanging out together.
One happy, albeit dysfunctional, family.
The End!
Well, that ends my tale. Have a Merry Christmas, everyone!