Karma shrunk into the office. She left the door ajar, a last ditch defense—he couldn't possibly murder her or bring up what happened in the alley if there was a chance someone could overhear.
He sat at his desk like a marble sculpture with steepled fingers. He hadn't been working on anything when she walked in. It was as if he'd been waiting for her to arrive.
"Please, Karma, close the door."
Crap, he is gonna kill me.
Karma closed the door. The chair before his large desk grated the floor as she sat. She smoothed her uniform as an excuse to keep her eyes down.
"Would you like some tea?" Captain Levi said. He'd poured two cups of dark, aromatic liquid before she could respond. His pleasant tone was as convincing as a firecracker dressed in a pretty bow. "Cream or sugar? Whiskey?" Karma didn't know if it was appropriate to laugh.
"No, thank you," she decided to say.
Levi's jaw flexed as he spoke. She wished she didn't find it so seductive. She needed to stay professional. "I received a complaint from Jean. Apparently, you had a note from me saying he was to miss training today to scoop up horse shit. I don't recall assigning you to deliver any message of the sort. Care to explain yourself?"
Karma had known this would be a possibility. It was almost inevitable that Levi would find out. In fact, a part of her even hoped he would. But now that it was happening, she realized how stupid that fantasy had been. He could dismiss her from her duties here and now.
"Jean threatened me during class, so I used the note you gave me to save my own ass," she said.
"The note about Jean the cat?" He pressed his temples and sighed. "That cat was my peace offering. This was supposed to be over—this needs to be over. Did you do this on purpose? To get my attention or something stupid?"
"How was I supposed to know the note was about the cat? You could've been more specific," Karma said. "And I wasn't trying to get your attention, I was just putting Jean in detention." She sipped her tea. It was still too hot to drink comfortably, but she kept her face neutral.
He crossed his arms. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you liked Jean."
"What do you mean 'if you didn't know better?' You don't know me."
"Do you have feelings for Jean? Were you trying to tease him like a school-kid pulling pigtails?"
"No, of course not."
"Then I was right." He sipped from his cup and replaced it on the saucer with a gentle clink. "Which means I do know you." She mirrored his crossed arms.
"What do you think you know?"
Another hefty sigh. "I think I know where your feelings lie."
Karma's cheeks flushed as though she had taken whiskey in her tea. "My feelings lie nowhere," she said, trying to sound resolute.
"They lie with me—just like you did. A part of you knew I would catch wind of what happened. You hoped for a chance to see me again."
He knew her better than she thought. She decided to flip the interrogation, though it sounded far too defensive to be effective. "Well, why did you go through the trouble of bringing me that cat? You didn't need to go all the way to Trost for an apology."
He didn't respond. He eyed the trinkets on his desk. He straightened an ink bottle.
Karma continued with snowballing confidence, "You thought that damn cat might help you get a second chance. Didn't you?" Her eyes burned the color of brandy.
Captain Levi fidgeted then jolted to the window, looking out at nothing in particular. "Well, where does this leave us?"
Karma set her jaw. "I don't know."
Levi rubbed his face in his palms. "This'll keep happening. You'll keep causing trouble to get to me and I'll keep bending the rules to get to you. It has to stop."
Karma's heart crumbled. She'd known all along that this is what he'd say if given another chance, but that didn't make it any easier to hear. She wanted him to give her an alternative. To tell her there was a way they could be together. That it was worth the risk for him.
"You're right." Karma stared down at her picking fingers. "It will stop. I won't be any more trouble for you."
She stole one last glance at her captain. His lithe figure, silhouetted against the sunset. The casual way he wore his black suitcoat and cravat, like some kind of fashion model. His neatly parted dark hair. His hands in his pockets. It killed her to rise from her chair and turn her back on him.
She started toward the door.
Would she see him again? With him working so closely with Eren, she doubted it. Perhaps at the expedition she might catch his eye one last time. A swift glance from atop her horse as the wind catches her cloak. Minutes before her untimely end.
Her hand rested on the doorknob. A finger flinched.
"Karma, stop."
Her muscles froze.
"I can't—" Captain Levi cleared his throat and started over. "I'll give you every stray in Trost just…stay. Please."
Her hand slinked off the doorknob.
"Thank God."
Levi crossed the room and laid his hands on the door, pinning her against it like before. The memory of that night was seeping into Karma's judgment like smoke through the cracks of a door.
Before he could have his way with her, she stopped him with a hand on his chest.
"Levi, no. I can't do this again."
Two lines creased between his brows. "What?"
"I…I put myself out there. It was so embarrassing." She scrubbed her face with her palms. "We both saw how bad I am at casual flings."
Levi dropped his arms. "You think that's what this is?"
"Well, yeah." She refused to cry. She squeezed her eyes to retract the tears.
"Karma, look at me."
She faced the floor. "I can't."
Levi bent down to meet her eyes. "What makes you think I want a casual fling?"
"Because you keep pushing me away! I literally almost walked out the door."
"Well I'm asking you to stay now, aren't I?"
"But why? Why now?"
The lines between his brows deepened.
"Levi, this will never work if you don't talk to me."
He pressed his lips together. "Look, I've never done this before—I always figured I'd just die a soldier, so I never got why people bothered with this kind of shit."
Karma scratched her arm. "Me neither. I joined the military to prove to myself that I didn't need anyone."
"You don't."
She shrugged.
"You're like those damn strays—you can fend for yourself," he said.
"You can too, so why would you want me?"
Captain Levi scoffed. "I think I'm past the point of wanting."
"Well you've had plenty of time to figure that out. Why are you always pulling this crap last minute?"
"Because I thought if I ignored these feelings they'd go away. Then I found myself begging Erwin for that damn cat. I didn't know it would lead to anything. I just wanted you to have that cat for some reason."
She half-smiled.
Levi hesitated. "I'm not…good at this. I've pushed you away and made you cry. I thought I could let you walk out that door, but I couldn't. I like you. And frankly, I've suffered too much to give a shit about rules anymore."
"Never had much of a moral code myself."
"Then damn it all." He held her arms. "I'm sick of this—I don't want to stay away from you anymore. Tell me I'm not the only one willing to risk it."
"You're not."
She caught a glimpse of Levi's smiling lips before they pressed against her mouth. His hands grasped her waist and tangled in her hair. He broke away briefly, "Everything stays between us."
"Yes, of course." She pulled him back against her, fisting the hair at his nape.
They tumbled towards his desk. Karma tiptoed to sit on the edge, crinkling a map and knocking a container of paperclips to the floor. Levi gripped her hips and kissed her as though being away from her had starved him.
"I'll have to be extra harsh on you," he said, pressing the words into her neck with his lips. "We can't have anyone suspecting favoritism."
She cradled his head against her throat. "I am your favorite though, right?"
"Of course. Do I need to prove it?" His tongue grazed her earlobe.
"Definitive proof would be appreciated."
"As you wish."
Levi laid her onto the desk, rattling the tea cups and scattering documents that floated to the floor. He unbuttoned her blouse and kissed down her sternum, his hot breath curling between her breasts. He rolled the tip of his tongue across the curves of her skin, blazing a trail of throbbing fire. She hardly dared to breathe, afraid that any sudden movement might make him stop.
He studied her responses to different pressures and sensations. The way her toes curled when he grazed her collarbone with his teeth. The moans she stifled when he caressed her inner thigh. He played her body like a harp, his fingers expertly strumming a luscious arrangement.
And she was inebriated by his song.
"Do you believe me now?"
"Yes." Her eyes fluttered shut.
He unlatched her belt. "I'm not finished."
Levi plucked the harp strings carefully, crescendoing when the melody required intensity, and softening the more tender harmonies. The music swelled in an intoxicating finale, leaving Karma dizzy and panting. A song she could never tire from.
He was pressed beside her on the desk. Through the window, Karma could see speckles of stars and the sliver of the moon.
"It's late." Her breathing was still ragged.
"Past curfew, as a matter of fact." Levi's lips skimmed her throat as he spoke. "You'll have to report your captain for a reprimand."
"And when will I receive said reprimand?" His kisses reached the upper swells of her breasts. She felt herself growing dizzy again. She pushed him away before she could get sucked back into his song. "Not tonight. I've already stayed too long."
Levi groaned, but rolled off her. "Tomorrow and every day after that. Come to the stables on your meal break. Anyone who asks, say you're going to feed the cat." He added with a smirk, "It's not a total lie. In more ways than one."
Karma slid off the desk and covered her chest with an arm while she scoured the surrounding chairs and floor for her clothes. She found her socks and pants without too much difficulty.
Levi watched from the desk, propped up on an elbow, with a devilish smirk. He still wore his white button-up, but his chest was fully exposed and the cravat was strewn somewhere by his belt. His hair was sticking up at odd angles as though he'd stepped out of a wind tunnel.
"Looking for these?" A pair of lacy underwear dangled on the tip of his finger. Karma tried to snatch them, one arm still covering her chest, but he reeled them out of reach. "Do you really have to put them back on?"
Karma dropped her arms. His eyes flitted to where she'd been covering. With his guard lowered, she snatched the panties back.
"Unfair, you distracted me," he said as she slid into the last of her clothes and smoothed her hair. It was impossible to find her hair part.
"Am I good, or does it look like I just slept with the Captain of the Scout Regiment?"
"Mmm, looks like you got a little handsy with the Captain of the Scout Regiment, but nothing past second base."
"Guess that's good enough."
Levi walked her to the door, but leaned against it, blocking her from leaving.
"Come on, I need to go," Karma said, shoving him with a grin.
"Hang on. I want to say goodnight. I didn't get to last time," Levi said, fixing some strands in her hair part.
"Alright. Goodnight, Captain."
Karma reached for the doorknob hidden behind his back. Then she felt Levi's hand glide down her neck, her collarbone, her arm. She dropped her hand and closed her eyes. His touch was like a blissful dream. His lips whispered against her ear, "Goodnight, Karma."
Her feet were clouds. She floated down the corridors until she reached her room, body still humming from Levi's kisses and the pressure of his body. She was already itching to see him again.
Quietly, so as not to wake Mikasa, she entered the dark room. She barely made it one step when an oil lamp flickered, washing the room in light. Mikasa sat on her bed in full-uniform. Arms crossed, eyes narrowed, face disapproving. As if she'd found the missing pieces and didn't like the puzzle they created.
"Tell me, is Captain Levi as good in bed as he is in battle?"