Thank you for the support.

So here we are on day 5. Already somehow. And I think that this is sort of a chill chapter. Compared to others...

(And as a side note of I don't know when tomorrow's chapter will be up. I haven't really been getting home from training until about 10pm so about then. Maybe something for you all to wake up to...)

Chapter Five
Saturday 5th December

There were absolutely no circumstances where Eddie would allow Rachel to help get the decorations down from the loft. She had tried to argue it by saying that things were in specific places and it wasn't just the Christmas decorations up there. He hadn't taken it and even told her, in reply, that he would have thought that her loft would be rather neatly organised and he would have no problems. It probably wasn't as neat as Rachel would have liked it but it was a hell of a lot neater than Eddie would have made it and once he had found the decorations, he knew that they would all be together.

He knew that the angel had gone up into the loft when Rachel had packed away the decorations in January but he also knew (without all that tape that said fragile that surrounded most of the box) that he wasn't just going to throw down the boxes and bags that contained the decorations.

In fact, he was glad that Philip was as tall as he was, making the handling of the decorations so much easier as Eddie handed them down to Philip who put them in the space on the landing near the loft. He watched Rachel as she started to move the boxes to where they needed to be, with there being one tiny argument between Rachel and Philip when she had tried to pick up a rather heavy box.

One of the last things to come down was the box with the angel in and Eddie laid on his stomach to give himself the full length of his arms to hand the box to Philip, who knew what it held in an instant, making sure that he had a good grip on it before he nodded at Eddie that he could let it go. He waited to watch Philip hand the box straight to Rachel before the last box, containing the tree, was passed from the loft and Eddie could join them on the landing.

From that moment, they were both under Rachel's instruction, with them putting different boxes in different places and being told that they hadn't listened to her when she had checked through. Michael, when he arrived, was the only one that didn't have some order barked at him and he was the only one that could put any decorations up before Rachel said that they could. Not that Eddie would have argued the unfairness of it when she asked him why he hadn't untangled the lights yet.

A calm did settle when the tree was up and the lights were on it. The rest of the tree was a joint effort from Rachel and Michael while Eddie and Philip had the job of decorating the rest of the living room and the hallway.

Eddie left Philip when they were nearly done to go and make everyone a hot chocolate. He knew that the afternoon would be more chill, with him hoping that there was some cliché Christmas film on for them to settle down and watch after their busy morning. He was sure that both Rachel and Michael would be tried, even if they didn't have the more physically demanding jobs.

He returned to the living room with both Rachel and Philip looking up at him, with him unsure what the looks on their face meant.

"Have I missed something?" Eddie said.

"Just Mum's angel." Rachel said.

"What about it?"

"Rachel thinks she shouldn't put it up until Mum is here," Philip said. "I think she should just put it up now."

"Where does she live then? At this time of the year?"

"She goes on the mantelpiece. I just…" Rachel started before she stopped. "After last Christmas, I want this Christmas to be different."

"Is she coming up here for Christmas? I thought nothing had been planned yet."

"No. Nothing has been planned yet."

Eddie sighed as he tried to come up with the most diplomatic answer that he could.

"Rach, I know. I know you want Christmas to be different. Better. But just think for a moment. What if you wait for Melissa to come up here for Christmas and she never does? Are you just going to put the angel in her place on Christmas eve whatever? Will you be upset that she's spent all that time in her box when she could have been out? And as it is your mum's… would you want it out? For the anniversary?"

He knew that she was overthinking each question that he had asked but he knew that they needed asking. It was just the mood that she was in. It was the stress of the past week and the knowledge that the worst time of year was starting for her. Eddie, honestly, wished that he knew how to make things better for her but, as he had learnt over the last year, there was nothing that could make things better. Rachel's mind was always going to turn the smallest inconvenience into a massive problem. Especially if it was related to her personal life.

"What anniversary?" Michael said, breaking the silence.

Eddie looked over at Rachel, waiting for her small nod, before he sat down next to Michael to try and explain it in a way that he thought a five-year-old would understand.

"You know how me and Mummy told you that you have a brother but he isn't with us? Because he died when you were both really small?"

"Yeah."

"Well, the same is for Rachel's mum. When she was younger as well. Not as young as you are now. But still quite young. And it happened around this time of year. And it still upsets Rachel." He paused for a moment, hoping that he'd done enough for the time being. "So I think you need to go and give her a massive hug to make her feel a bit better about it."

Michael seemed to think over it for a moment before he jumped off the sofa and almost ran into Rachel's legs. Eddie watched as she bent down to pick him up, with Michael's arms going around her neck and a kiss landing on her cheek.

"It's okay, Rachel. We are here to look after you." Michael said.

And that sentence brought tears to both Eddie's and Rachel's eyes.

"Just thought you should know," Eddie said as he pulled the front door almost closed, to try and keep as much heat in the house as possible without having the door shut him out. "We were talking about Rachel's Mum's angel today and I said something about the anniversary and Michael asked what I was on about. So I told him. That Rachel's mum died when Rachel was young. I think she said she was eight when it happened. She never got the chance to cope well with it when it happened and so…"

"It still affects her now," Alison said.

He sighed. "Just so you know. Just in case he asks you about it."

She nodded. "Thanks, Eddie." She paused for a moment. "Eight?!"

"I know. When she told me… that night I went and hugged my mum."

"Well, I think I am going to hug Michael a little tighter tonight."

"Just, it isn't helping with all the stress. I… don't know how to make things better. Easier for her. I only feel like I am making things worse."

"You are probably doing more than you realise."

Eddie didn't think that he was. He felt like he was messing up more now when he needed to be at his most supportive. He wished that he wasn't so clueless. Or that Rachel would trust him as much as she had done in the past. He still couldn't understand why she hadn't spoken to him about the Steph situation before she actually did. He felt like this was because of Max. That if Max wasn't constantly breathing down Rachel's neck, she would lean on him more than she was and then they wouldn't be having the problems that they were having. It seemed stupid but that was the only thing that had changed in the last few months that had put a strain on things.

"I just thought you should know." He ended up repeating, feeling quite unsure what to say.

"You know, you were the same back then. Always thinking that you were doing the wrong thing when my friends were always pointing out that you were doing more for me while I was pregnant and after the boys were born than all their husbands put together. Don't put yourself down, Eddie. Your mum knew exactly what she was doing when she raised you and that is how I want to raise Michael to be as well."

"Well, I think he has started off well. With Jess as his best friend."

Alison snorted. "Oh yeah. That was the other thing. I should have always looked out for you and your female friends. Don't know why but I was certain that you were never going to run off with one of them."

"No. It wasn't that what broke us."

"I don't think we've suffered too much from it now. Thanks to that woman. Who has given you a second chance. In more than one way."

Alison had always been an optimist. It suited Eddie's happy-go-lucky personality and they could be carefree together. So Alison's reply didn't surprise him. For her to see the good in the situation. To remind him why he wanted to be with Rachel and who had given him hope after it had been taken away from him.

Eddie let her go at that point, knowing that she would want to start Michael's bedtime routine. Maybe it would have just made sense for them to have swapped weekends but Eddie didn't feel like he could make too many changes when he had asked to have Michael on Christmas Eve for the day. To spend it with his family. He had wanted to ask to spend Christmas Day with him (with it being the first ever) but he had chickened out. Maybe next year. Or maybe he could convince Alison to spend Christmas day with his family, so that Michael could see them both on Christmas Day.

That was a thought for next year and Eddie was glad to get back into the warmth of the house.

By the time Eddie found her, Rachel knew that the tears had dried on her face.

It was stupid really.

The reason why she was crying.

Because she was crying over the gentle way that Eddie explained her mother's death and the way that Michael had hugged her. That little boy was going to turn into his father and Rachel was glad that there was another Eddie Lawson in the world. It gave her hope that the Amanda Fenshaws of the world could be as lucky as she had been.

She was sure that he knew that she had been crying by the way that he slowly sat and then laid down behind her, wrapping an arm around her, protecting her and their daughter, before placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Was that okay then?" He whispered.

"It was perfect, Eddie." She said, her voice sounding hoarse.

"There is no point hiding it, is there? Not when he knows about Stephen and sort of understands it."

She slowly shook her head. "That boy is going to be just like you."

"That is the greatest compliment you can give me."

"I'm sorry, Eddie, for this week." She said as she rolled onto her back to look at him. "I wanted to know all sides before I spoke to you about it because I knew what you were going to say."

"I know. But, also, we know Max is stirring things up. He knows how to get to you and I just… I feel like you fall for it every time. He lays the trap and you walk straight into it."

"But sometimes I can't just stand back and watch everything start to fall apart. Waterloo Road has been two years of hard work from everyone. I can't just allow things to go wrong when they don't need to."

"I still believe that things will work in your favour. I believe that the LEA will see things as they are and will stick by you. They know how you work otherwise they wouldn't have put you at Waterloo Road in the first place."

"It is just hard to think that. When I am sure Max has as much influence in the LEA as I do. Maybe he has more."

"And if they took one look at the plans that Max has for the school, they would know that it wouldn't work."

Rachel knew that and she was sure that Eddie knew that she knew that. It just didn't make things easier. It didn't make her feel like she had the upper hand. Maybe her past, marred with men always coming out on top, stopped her from believing the things that she knew were true.

So she let the matter lie there. Because it was a conversation that they'd had a lot since the beginning of term and she was, frankly, quite tired of it. She was tired of having to fight all that time and fighting the people that she shouldn't be fighting. Because, at some point, she was sure that she would fall out with Eddie over this all. Because, realistically, how could she not?

She pulled herself closer to him, allowing herself to relax in his embrace and welcoming the safe feeling that she knew she felt when she was in his arms.

Things didn't have to fall apart.

But Rachel was unsure whether they would do despite her wishing that they didn't.