Thank you for the reviews.

Hopefully, after Tuesday, I can start posting this a little more regularly. I'll have my evenings back as I start to wind up for the Christmas period. Where my main priority may or may not be getting some writing done...

But for now, I will leave you with this... enjoy.

Chapter Eleven
Friday 11th December

Rachel knew that she had to make more of an effort. She could distract herself from the past without working herself into the ground. Like she could focus on the two people that she loved most. Mainly to remind herself of how far she had come. To show her that her father was wrong and that she was loved and could be loved.

The problem was that she had become her own worst enemy. Not because she had wanted to. Just because she felt, more often than not, her father's words rang true. She had always been around the worst men. It was slightly harder for her to imagine anyone falling in love with her. She always thought that, eventually, she would just settle for someone who would be able to tolerate her and her ways. That the feelings that she would have for him would never be mutual.

At times, being with Eddie did feel like she was dreaming and at any moment, she was going to wake up. Those were the days when everything went well and they could be there, smiling like idiots over something so small. And with Eddie, things just felt so simple. She actually couldn't remember the last time she had smiled so hard, her cheeks ached. She couldn't remember laughing so hard that her stomach hurt along with her cheeks. Those were the times when it was easy for Rachel to remember how much she loved Eddie and how much Eddie loved her.

The last couple of days had shown that she could very easily forget that and it was easy for her to go back to old habits. That she could and would forget things that she knew and that would cause unnecessary tensions.

So Rachel knew that she had to make more of an effort and she felt like both Eddie and Philip had noticed it that morning when she had already made them breakfast for when they entered the kitchen.

And Rachel was positive for the day. She knew that things couldn't get much worse. In her eyes, things had hit rock bottom the day before.

She wasn't going to allow anything to get her down. Even Max and whatever he had planned. She wasn't going to allow it.

Only…

For some reason, Philip had become Max's next target.

It was another vague thing that felt like the more questions they asked, the less clear things became. And when Max said about calling Philip's parents in, Rachel laughed. She knew that she surprised everyone who was in the room but she laughed. Like he had said the funniest joke in the world. And the look of bewilderment on Max's face was completely worth it. She probably sounded quite mad. Maybe she had lost herself to the madness of the last couple of days.

"You are already dealing with his guardian." Rachel said, gesturing herself. "You won't get a hold of Melissa. She loves Philip dearly but… I think she might still be a little bitter over the fact that he chose to stay here and live with me rather than follow her down to London."

"Sorry?" Max said, with Rachel wanting to start laughing again at how confused he was.

"Philip is my nephew. And if you got up his contact details, then you would find that, in an emergency or anything like that, you would be calling me. Then Eddie, just as a backup. The third number on the list is Melissa. My sister. Philip's mum."

It was clear that Max didn't believe her, with him getting the contact details and Rachel holding up her mobile to show the school's number as an incoming call. Eddie did the same when he tried the next number. And then when he tried Melissa's number, he tried it four times before Melissa picked up. Rachel definitely felt like he wanted to try and catch her out. But it just didn't work like that. Because it wasn't a lie.

"Mrs Ryan," Max said as she answered the phone.

"Ms Ryan." Rachel said, sure that she did say it at the same time as Melissa by the way that Max looked at her.

"Ms Ryan, I need to have a word with you about your son." Max paused for a moment. "I'm Max Tyler, the Executive Head. I am dealing with it because I was the one to see what he did. No, he is still in the cooler." Max seemed to look around the room for a moment before he lowered the phone from his ear and held it out to Rachel. "She wants to talk to you."

Rachel tried not to smile as she took the phone off Max, moving a little so that it was more comfortable to put the phone to her ear and to push Max out of the way, with her being behind her desk. Where she should be. "Melissa."

"Dear God. Is that the dickhead that you mentioned might be after your job?"

"Yeah, sort of."

"Well, I've told Max Tyler that you are to sort it out. I only asked for Philip because… if he is sort of bullying you, then I just wanted to make sure he was alright."

Rachel looked up at Max. "Thanks, Melissa."

"Bit of a shit week for all this."

"It's just been in general."

"I'll call Philip later. Just to make sure that he is okay. I should, at least, try to be his mother from a distance. I'll see you later, Rachel."

"Bye, Melissa." Rachel said as she put the phone down. "So how do you want to deal with this, Max?"

Max didn't look as confident as he once did and that was just the type of thing that she needed to boost her own confidence slightly. And if she had thought before that this was all over nothing, then Joyce interrupting them to say that Ros wanted a word with them, which made Max's face drop more, made Rachel almost angry that things were just happening because Max wanted them to happen not because they had done.

Philip had mentioned that his mum had called him before they had dinner. Which Rachel was grateful for.

Even though things were probably better for them both being separated, Rachel knew that Philip did miss Melissa more than he let on. Which Rachel understood. She was his mum after all and there had been so much time where it had just been the two of them that even if their relationship might not have been the healthiest, because of Melissa, it didn't mean that they didn't have a relationship of sorts.

It was a strange one for Rachel where she wanted to be as supportive as possible because she would want them to have a better relationship but she also knew that things couldn't continue how they were. Melissa's spontaneous personality didn't align with Philip's need for stability and it was clear last Christmas what had been going on.

Melissa did phone at random points, asking Philip how he was and what was happening with him. She phoned Rachel as well, just to make sure what Philip had said was true.

But Rachel didn't expect the call from her sister that night.

"Melissa." Rachel said as she dropped onto the sofa.

"Are you okay?"

"Define okay at this time of year."

"So you're not."

"It's just… not been my week. And the problem is that I've then taken it out on Eddie." She paused. "Well, not taken it out on Eddie in that way. Shut him out would probably be the best way to describe it. I shut him out when I shouldn't have done. Something at work struck a little closer to home than I would have liked it. Especially at this time of year."

"A student's mum then."

"End of life care."

"Bloody hell. I was hoping that we were going to fight over who was dealing with it better this year."

"Why? Are you dealing with it better?"

"I can't remember the last time I was stone-cold sober at this time of year."

"Oh, Melissa. I am so proud of you."

"Look… I am only going to say this once and I don't want anything back about what I am about to say. But you were right. Last year. When you implied that I didn't have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I don't. And, God, has it been difficult to have stayed sober for as long as I have done but I do feel better for it."

"I have been there as well."

"So how did it go? With the whole Philip and Max thing?"

"I didn't really have to do much in the end. Ros explained what happened and, God, it did make me angry. Although, I do think that I've become rather tolerant of some of… Max's behaviour. Not because I want to. It's because I don't want to rock the boat." She sighed. "Look, we can talk more at the weekend about things."

"You are still coming then?"

Rachel smiled. "We said we would. And Philip has decided that he wants to come as well."

"He does know that he doesn't have to see me if he doesn't want to."

"Melissa, don't be like that. He does. I think the distance has done us all… some good. It is clear that we all want different things."

"Yeah. But you can't lie and tell me that I wasn't a crap mum to him. And that your little one is already going to grow up in a better environment than he was ever in."

"Things change. The breakdown of your marriage didn't help, did it? And… don't get me wrong, but it does feel like you are always on the run. Never settling down anywhere. I just can't work out why you might feel that way."

"I don't need you to psychoanalyse me, Rachel. I've got enough people doing that when I tell them that my son is living with my sister in Rochdale."

Rachel laughed. "I suppose that isn't the easiest to explain. We will see you tomorrow. I don't actually know if I want this week to end or not."

"I'm with you there. See you tomorrow."

Rachel placed her phone on the arm of the sofa and leant back into it, trying to focus more on her sister's attempts to try to be a good sister and mother than what the weekend would entail. Because she was sure that she wasn't ready for it.

Not that she thought that she would ever be ready for it.

Eddie did understand how it would look but he did feel like he needed to make sure that Philip was okay. It wasn't because he didn't believe Philip when he said he was to Rachel but he knew that Philip might make everything seem okay because of the way that Rachel had been and that he would want to keep her in a happier mood.

He felt like the gentle knock had confused Philip when he was the one to step into the room. Maybe he did expect it to be Rachel.

"Are you okay, Philip?" Eddie asked.

Philip nodded. "I really didn't know what I had done."

"Well, Ros did clear it up for you. I don't think I've ever seen Max so speechless before." He paused for a moment. "And… it was good. Seeing Rachel be more herself again. Laughing over the fact that your guardians were already dealing with it when he said about that. Everything that has happened recently… I had even forgotten the way that she could command a room. She was completely and utterly in control today."

"You know the worst is yet to come, don't you?" Philip said carefully.

Eddie nodded, afraid that might be the case. "How is she usually on the 14th? I know I did see her last year. And she was… not herself."

"Quiet. She usually spent the day avoiding Mum but that will be easier this year. I think Mum's drinking… I heard them arguing last year. Mum's drinking reminded Rachel of their Dad. Or there was something about drinking and Rachel implying that it took her a while to get a good relationship with alcohol."

"We will just have to keep an eye on her."

"And Tyler as far away from her as possible."

Eddie nodded. "I would pay people to keep him away."

"Just not Bolton. He is terrified that Tyler is going to kick him out."

"Rachel wouldn't allow that."

"I know. But… there has been a weird feeling around the school recently. And like with everything that Tyler has done recently. People are worried. That Rachel is losing control. Like… some power shift."

That did worry Eddie. Because how could he reassure Rachel that everything was okay if the students could feel that she was losing control?

He decided that he wouldn't voice his concerns to Philip. And it was something that he would have to ponder by himself.

But maybe it was a good thing that the students had noticed.

Because, maybe, if it came to it, they would already be waiting for the moment when they would be needed to show their support to Rachel. And Eddie would live for the chaos that would bring with it.