Thank you for the reviews.

I will be honest, I am trying to finish a chapter before I post a chapter. It just seems like the best way to do it and then it keeps me a couple of chapters ahead. Although, I do understand that by potentially posting a chapter a day, I am not going to get this done before the end of December... We will have to see how the week goes. And if you thought that there might be an NYE chapter of this like there was last year... Yeah, no. That plan has gone out of the window.

But please enjoy this. The chapter before the big meeting...

Chapter Fifteen
Tuesday 15th December

The problem that Eddie found with Rachel was that she could easily mask her feelings. Like that morning. He thought that she looked a little lighter when she was briefing the staff. He thought that she sounded more like herself. That the underlying worry wasn't present in her voice. He could always hear it. The small strain in her voice as she said something that she didn't completely believe or want to say. Maybe because Max was usually hovering over or near her. Eddie was grateful that the morning would be Max-free as he was having the meeting they would be having tomorrow at one of the other schools.

But Eddie knew her well enough at this point that he knew that things were still playing on her mind. He couldn't see how they weren't. It was only the day after the anniversary. And even if they hadn't spoken more about the potential truth behind the rumour that Rachel's dad might not have been her biological father, he was sure that it was playing on her mind. He knew that it had been a shock to see him again after all this time. On one of the worst weekends that they could have seen him. With the horrible memories that Rachel had with him about that time.

Yet, he also knew that new doubts did mix with the old ones and he could be completely wrong about what he thought Rachel would be thinking about.

There was only one way to find out and with her hand grabbing onto his wrist after he had placed the drink down in front of her, he knew that she wanted to talk about whatever was on her mind. So he settled against the desk, next to where she was sitting behind it. Where she should be.

"You okay?" He said.

"I don't know if I am ready for this." She said.

"Ready for what?"

Rachel seemed to take a moment, meaning that Eddie knew that she thought that whatever it was seemed a little stupid. Most of the time it was and it just meant that he needed to reassure her that it wasn't stupid to feel a certain way and that it was just best to get these feelings out in the open.

"Motherhood." She eventually said.

Eddie had wondered whether the anniversary would bring up some feelings about what was to come for them. After all, this was the first time that Rachel was becoming a mother and even if it was something that she wanted, Eddie knew that he had worried a lot about the father that he was going to be to Michael and Stephen. Even if it was something that he wanted to be.

"I don't think anyone is ever ready for parenthood," Eddie said, seriously. To show that he was listening to what she was saying. "I remember panicking to my dad about becoming a father. I just… I remember James and Ryan and Tony making it all seem so easy. Like it was a role that they effortlessly entered. Same with Zoe, Alice and Claire. Well… maybe I saw Zoe panic a little over Cathy but Cathy was being quite needy and I think she was ill so wasn't feeding and sleeping properly. I think I can give Zoe that moment of panic."

Rachel just smiled at him. "You know… Melissa said something about our little one growing up in a better environment than Philip did."

"I think we've gathered that Melissa would never win any 'mother of the year' awards. Not that she doesn't love him. But I think these are completely different circumstances, aren't they? Melissa was 19 when she had Philip."

"I know."

"So what is it really all about?"

"If… If we didn't have the problems that we did have… when we were younger, before Mum died, I-I-I wonder just… if she would have been different. Just was she the mother that she was because of the circumstances that we were in? Would she have been better if she didn't have to work all the time? Was she hoping that, at some point, she would have been a better mother?" Rachel hesitated for a moment. "Will it reflect on me as a mother? Melissa has… messed up because she didn't know Mum. She was four. I was eight. That's… I didn't know her. I have so few memories of her now. And I don't know whether I trust those memories. It's been so long. What if she was better than I remembered her being? What if she was actually worse?"

Eddie knew that was a lot to unpack. And if he was being honest, he had forgotten most of the questions that had been asked. But he knew the general worry that Rachel was feeling. And where it was coming from. And where he needed to focus on.

"I'm… not going to say anything about your memories. Because they probably have been distorted due to time. It was 31 years ago. I don't think I could recall anything from 31 years ago. But I don't think that the… lack of time that you had with your mum does matter on how you will be as a mother. And we've already spoken about Melissa." He paused for a moment. "I think you will be a brilliant mother. Because of the way that you are with the students. You are… harsh and scary at times. But the moments where it does need to be sensitive and gentle, you are there. And understanding. Whether they are in trouble or not, you can get them to talk to you. I think that is the type of mother you are going to be."

The way that Rachel was thinking over his words, he wondered what had been said to her to make her think what she had done. He gathered that she would have the questions that she'd had but he wondered whether it had been prompted by something other than the anniversary.

"Maybe but…" Rachel said.

"Is there a but? This isn't something that we can predict now. We will find out in four months when we have a screaming little human that is completely reliant on us."

"I just… I can't be bad at everything."

"You aren't bad at anything. Okay? You've only been made to think that you are. And tomorrow, this will all be sorted."

Eddie knew that Rachel wouldn't completely believe him but he had to try.

And he didn't quite know how things would be sorted.

Max had left her in the car.

He had said that he wouldn't be long.

Half an hour later, Kim found herself still in the car and the light of the head's office at Waterloo Road was still on. She wished that she had gotten out and gone back to her office to do something more useful.

She wondered whether this was the punishment for not allowing him to talk to Rachel the day before. It might have been but she did see Eddie's logic in trying to keep them apart. Things hadn't gone well in the last few days and if there could be some sort of peace before the big meeting, then she needed to be the one to implement it.

But she was looking for something to keep herself busy when she noticed the file on the back seat. With Waterloo Road written on the side.

It was a file that she had seen before but Max had been quite secretive about what it contained. And the reason why he had a file for Waterloo Road but not for the other schools.

The problem was that now she knew that it was there, it was the only thing she could think about. And the longer Max took, the less restraint she had.

It was one of those moments where Kim hadn't realised that she had grabbed it off the back seat until it was in her lap.

And she knew that this was the turning point.

She could just put it back and hope that Max wouldn't notice that it had been moved.

Or she could see what he had in there and understand how Max was going to be at the meeting that was scheduled for the next day.

Kim looked up at the office and noted that the light was still on. Her right hand played with the top right corner of the front of the file as she waited for the light to turn off, signalling Max was going to join her soon. But when a couple of minutes had passed and there was no sign of that, Kim found herself opening up the file and looking inside it.

The front page was just general information. About the school. A bit about Jack and Izzie and a couple of other things that had happened in the last couple of years.

The next page was scribbles from, what Kim assumed, were the interviews for the new Heads of departments. It seemed like Steph had singled herself out at the meeting, with Kim feeling a little uneasy about the negative comments that Max had put down about her friend.

The next couple of pages were correspondence with Rachel about potentially appointing a second deputy, with Rachel seeming up for the idea until she found out that the other schools weren't doing so. It was the first time that Kim had seen someone try to attack Rachel and Eddie's relationship and Kim couldn't understand some of the claims that Max had made at the time. Rachel and Eddie were both professionals. And they had never allowed their personal relationship to get in the way of their professional one. In fact, Kim was sure that was what made them such a strong couple both at work and in private. Because they could work well together whilst able to put aside their professional differences.

Kim had a quick look at the tabs that were in the file and her finger hovered under the one that had Rachel's name on it. She looked up at the office again before she turned to the section all about Rachel.

She knew that she had been blind to some things but she hadn't realised that she had blatantly ignored a systematic undermining of Rachel's professional abilities. She found herself flicking through some of the reports that Max had put together and she wanted to add her own comments. Mainly where he had blamed Rachel for certain events when Kim knew that it was Max that had derailed things.

Eddie's tab was the next one that she went to and she couldn't help but agree with everything that Max had written. Because Eddie was extremely protective of Rachel and probably did want to punch Max at any given opportunity. And with Kim now knowing the stress that Rachel was under, she had to be impressed that Eddie hadn't punched Max yet. But she was sure that was something to do with Rachel.

She hesitated for a moment with the tab with her name on it before she turned it over. Things couldn't get much worse, could they?

In fact, her tab seemed to hold the most positive things in it. But Max's plans for her worried her. If she was being honest, she knew that she was most comfortable in Pastoral Care. It was a job that she knew she could do and do it well. She had spent a good couple of years shadowing the previous Head of Pastoral Care to know what she needed to not do. So promoting her to deputy once Eddie had left wasn't what she wanted. Nor was the insinuation that she could be the next headteacher after a 'cooling off' period.

The thought of the direction that Max wanted the meeting to go in made her feel sick and throwing the folder back onto the back seat was easy enough to do.

She thought about writing Rachel a long message, apologising for every time she had blamed her for not making things work out between her and Max. For being so blind that she couldn't see that it was mostly Max's fault. For taking Max's word that it was Rachel being difficult. For being a truly awful friend when she needed her most.

Although, Kim realised, when Max finally joined her, that she could use this to her advantage.

Because if there was one way that she could help Rachel out, it would be to properly expose Max for what he had done.

She didn't quite think that they would be in a relationship once she had finished but she didn't think that mattered now.

Not now that she'd had her eyes opened.

And they were going to remain open.