Thank you for the reviews.

We are getting there with this fic. Slowly but steadily. Not going to be done before the end of December...

Anyway, enjoy this post-meeting chapter...

Chapter Seventeen
Thursday 17th December

It was strange.

Because until morning break, Rachel was still expecting Max to walk into her office. She was expecting to see his name back on the door.

But none of that happened.

And it was strange.

Even if this was what she had been wanting for months.

It felt strange.

Because it had almost become a routine to argue with him about something. For something to go wrong and for them to clash over how they thought it should be solved.

There wasn't that conflict anymore.

And a weird sense of calm had settled over the school.

Rachel felt lost.

She didn't know how she was going to fill her day.

The last couple of weeks had been so relentless that it almost felt anti-climatic that this was how it all ended. No real great triumph. Just nothingness.

But, for the first time in months, Rachel felt like she could relax again in her office and allow her mind to wander.

She knew that she had a staff room full of people who she needed to thank for their support. Tom had told her how he had rallied the staff and had been waiting for Kim's signal as to whether he would tell the others to rally the students as well. There would have been a riot. Which was nice to know. So Rachel had some making up to do there.

But on the other hand, she knew that she still had a lot to make up to Eddie and that was where her mind was at when Joyce entered the office.

"Joyce, how long have you been married?" Rachel asked.

"Oh… it will be 35 years next year."

"I'm just… I've got a few things to make up to Eddie. I just don't know the best way to go about it." She paused for a moment. "Mainly because I think this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in and I just don't know. It was easier with other relationships. It just… I knew what to do. I don't now."

The look on Joyce's face made her think that she was talking to the wrong person about this. She should have just called Zoe or Alice to sort this out. They were the people that knew Eddie best. They would be able to help her better than Joyce.

"I think you might be thinking about things too much," Joyce said eventually. "Everyone knows how much Eddie adores you. I think whatever you think you need to make up to him, he has already forgiven. He already has everything that he wants with you."

It might not have seemed like it but Joyce had given Rachel an idea and she excused herself just so she could see if she could do it. If it could happen, then she knew that it would be the perfect thing, even if it would mean a lot of organising in a short amount of time.

But it would all be worth it for Eddie.

Because everything would be worth it for Eddie.

And she just hoped that she wasn't going to miss the mark with it.

The thing that made Rachel the happiest was that she could put her plan into motion. She now had a lot to do and a very short amount of time to do things in but she knew that she could do it.

The only thing was that she couldn't make Eddie suspicious about what she was doing. And so she would have to come up with a way to involve Eddie without completely giving away her plan.

And she knew that she would have to clear some time away to tell Eddie's family. Just because she was sure that they would happily help her in trying to make her plan a reality.

But, weirdly enough, it was Melissa who she shared her idea with first. And Rachel was sure that the squeal of excitement that came through the phone wouldn't have been there if this had all happened a year or so earlier. Things had definitely changed for the better between them and it did sadden Rachel that it had taken so long for them to get to the stage that they were at. There was, probably, no need for the conflicts that they'd had in the past. Or for the tensions in their relationship. Or just the pure fractured nature of their relationship.

Maybe in another life, they would have been as close as Eddie was with his siblings. Maybe they would have known the true meaning of family. Rachel certainly knew that her experiences had shaped her into the person she was and she wasn't sure that she would change much about her past. But, maybe, at times, she wished that things had been different. That she hadn't gone through so many hardships to get to where she was now.

"So you are going to do this all behind his back?" Melissa asked.

"Primarily. I was thinking of introducing the idea. I know we did sort of say that we didn't mind a long engagement but… things have changed. And I've never been more terrified of losing him."

"But I thought everything was sorted now. At work. And the anniversary has been and gone."

"It is." Rachel paused for a moment. "Melissa… have you never wanted better memories around this time of year? To have the same excitement that everyone else does? Not trepidation. It's obviously never going to leave us. But Eddie loves this time of year and every year, I don't want to be dragging down his excitement because I can't pull myself together."

"We were young, Rachel. And have never processed it properly."

"Then I think that is something that we both need to work on. I know you've had one year of getting through it without drinking but… we both need to deal with it in the right way. To, at the very least, not worry Philip anymore than we already have over the years."

"Maybe. But you know me, Rachel. I don't like to tackle things head on."

"Yeah, but look where running away has got you. I think we are our own worst enemies. And I want to change that."

This wasn't the type of conversation that Rachel ever thought that she would have with Melissa. Maybe that had more to do with Rachel and her feeling like she was always walking on eggshells around Melissa. But Rachel was grateful for that change in her life. And she knew that things would only get better between them. It just felt horrible to think that it took them until their late 30s to finally sort things out between them.

Eddie didn't quite know what to think when he walked into the kitchen to see Rachel at the kitchen table, with the table covered in brochures. It was only when he got closer that he realised that they were the wedding brochures that they had picked up when they had first thought about where they would want to get married shortly after their engagement. Not much had been said after that when they thought that it would be best to have a long engagement, with them thinking about having it when their daughter was a couple of years old so that she could understand what was happening and sort of join them in the day.

Although, he wasn't against starting planning for it.

He could remember how much planning went into his wedding with Alison. And even though his wedding to Rachel was going to be massively scaled back, there was probably still a lot that they needed to get done. The biggest being where they were going to get married.

Which was what Rachel was looking at.

"Sorry, I just got thinking about it today." Rachel said when she noticed him. "I just thought that there was no harm in looking a little. Maybe trying to make a decision or two."

"Now you've got me thinking of our little girl in her little dress. And Michael moaning about the suit that he will be in."

"And you have me picturing some late spring day. Where it is warm but not too hot. That perfect in between coat and t-shirt weather. And we could spend part of the day outside. Maybe before we settled down for the wedding breakfast."

"So we would need somewhere with a large garden. The kids can wear themselves out a bit before we sit down."

"Although, somewhere like that might be a little hard to find with the size of our guest list. Most people have to cut down. I think, with any of these places, they would be expecting more from the wedding parties."

"I suppose so. But I am completely with you with regards to a small intimate wedding. With my family, Philip and Melissa."

"I know it sounded ridiculous before but it sounds worse now, doesn't it? Your family, Philip and Melissa."

Eddie waited for Rachel to look up at him before he gave her the sad smile that usually graced his lips when he was reminded how small her family was.

"Well, after we are married, it will just be our family. There will be no need to distinguish between them." He said.

"People will want the distinction. But no, I won't see it any different. I'll be a Lawson and be part of the spouses of the four children with the six nieces and four nephews that I will gain through marriage."

Eddie knew that she would always be grateful for the family that he could give her. It was almost ready made, with their own addition feeling like that. It was just an addition to what they already had. It wasn't needed but it was appreciated. Everyone was glad that it was happening.

"So bearing our needs," Eddie said. "What have you come up with so far?"

He allowed her to talk him through a couple of things, to get the feel of the direction that she wanted it to go in. He felt like his vision did line up with hers and he found himself with very little to add when she did ask for his opinion.

But as nice as it was to see Rachel more relaxed and calm over things, with them planning their future together, he couldn't help but wonder what had brought it all on. Rachel wasn't one for doing things because she felt like she should. They had agreed that maybe a long engagement was the way to go about it. That everything else in their relationship had felt quite rushed. From the impromptu proposal to the fact that they were having a baby. After all, they hadn't been dating a year yet. Maybe they could say that they had been dating for about ten months.

But a lot had happened in those ten months.

A lot for a relationship that seemed like it could not happen a year or so ago. Eddie couldn't even be sure that they would have classed themselves as friends again a year ago. After all, he thought that he had destroyed anything good between them. With everything regarding Stuart Hordley and him exposing her secret.

18 months ago, he might have jumped at the chance at a quick relationship with Rachel. The build up had seemed to take forever which hadn't been helped by Stuart Hordley and Rachel's past. He was more than ready to jump in head first.

Now, he wanted to take his time. He wanted to make sure that he could love her as he felt like she deserved to be loved. He wanted things to be as perfect as he could get them for her. He had wanted to promise her the world before. Now he wanted to make sure that she had it.

So maybe he was a little suspicious about the reason why Rachel wanted to start making wedding plans but he forced himself not to look into it too deeply.

Rachel liked to have things planned out.

She wasn't going to throw a surprise wedding his way, was she?