A/N: Yes I know, been very busy with work all this month, sue me.
so to make up for it, I decided to do this one shot based off another vid I saw from Ginger Billy. I hope you enjoy and I really hope I am able to update "The Commander" soon ... now on to the story...
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The sky was gray and the air was cold with moisture, as the Alliance Base was currently being subjected to the seasonal rains that came this time of the year.
Heavy rainfall had pounded the base for the last several days, forcing many of the resident ship girls to remain in their assigned dorms. But today, the weather was not as bad as it had been for the last week, which allowed for certain members of the Azur Lane-Red Axis Alliance to get some work done.
For the first time in days, the Commander was able to get to his office and finally get some paper work done. But a recent bulletin said that the rains were to return and there was even a chance of flooding. So gathering up the documents he needed, the Commander left his office and made his way outside to the car park. He was just about to unlock his car when a gust of wind came through and blew some of the documents out of his hand.
He was able to grab most of them quickly, but one page was carried off into the near by woods. Not wanting to lose the paper, the Commander ran after it.
He followed it for a good distance into the woods, until the fleeing document came into a clearing. A clearing that had a abandoned structure of some kind and if just like magic, said Document went into the structure.
"Just great." the Commander groaned. "It went into that creepy looking building I never noticed until now."
Taking a deep sigh, the Commander made his way to the window where the paper went in. He was just about there when suddenly...
"Hey there, Shiki!!"
The Commander all but leaped out of his skin, as the creepy looking clown suddenly appeared in the window. "Oh,Jesus!" he exclaimed. "There's a crack head on the base!"
"Wha...?" the clearly evil clown replied. "I'm not a crack head! But I have something you are looking for, does this belong to you, Shiki?" he said holding up the document.
"Yes, I would like it back, so can you had it over?"
"You look like a nice boy... I bet you have alot of friends." the clown said, trying to make conversation.
"Not really, I admit I'm a bit of a introvert so I really don't try to make friends. But I have a few."
"You only have a few friends and you're a introvert" the clown laughed "What a looser!"
"I'm not the crack head hiding in old buildings, trying to lure little boys into them!" the Commander retorted.
"I am not a Crack Head!" the creepy clown shot back angrily. "and I only do that to kill them!"
"Sure you are. I bet you and that guy Jared from Subway are besties! Should I call Chris Hanson for you?"
"I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH JARED!!" the clown exclaimed, attempting to distance himself from the infamous figure. "Look, let's change the subject... do you want a balloon?" he finished, holding up a somewhat large red Balloon I. his hand
"Pfft, I am a (Redacted) year old man! Do I look like I want a balloon?? That might work on those... little boys you trying to lure into your, perverse trap. I bet Jared is in there with you too!"
"I told you! I only lure little boys in to KILL THEM!"
"Yea right, I bet the FBI is looking for you right now! But what I want to know is what the hell is going on with those teeth! when was the last time You've been to the dentist, anyway??"
"Why do some of the dumbest people find me." the clown groaned, as he face palmed hard. "Sniff Sniff Sniff..."
"What, are you crying?" the Commander asked. "Did I hurt your feelings?"
"Do you smell that, Shiki?"
"Smell what? did you fart? Are you one of those weirdos who get off on stinky farts? Probably do that to arouse yourself fir those... little boys you and Jared try to lure!"
"NO! SHUT UP!!" the clown roared, starting to her really annoyed by their conversation. "I mean... do you smell the Circus, Skiki?"
"Honestly, I can't smell anything right now." He replied. "The cold air plays havoc on my sinuses, plus I have had this infection for a couple days now so that is not helping either. Look, it's getting late and I don't want to be out here any longer than I have to. So I will be leaving now, good bye."
"Wait! what about your document? don't you want it back.?
"Nah, not worth the effort. Besides, I can always print another one. And I ain't giving you a chance to grab me and pull me into your ... perverted sex den!. I already have to worry about Taihou and Roon doing that to me already! and don't get me started with Akagi..."
"Well... what about this MatchBox 5 pack..." The clown offered, as he held up the pack of cars in question."
"Ooo... and it's Firetrucks too." The Commander said excitedly, "I've been looking for those since like, July."
"So why don't you take it, Shiki..." the demon clown cooed. "Take it..."
'Ugh! Would you not say it like that." the naval officer said in disgust" It sounds sexual, it's like you wanna make hard core love to me."
'"For the love of Manjuu!" the clown groaned. "I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU!! How do you want me to say it?"
"I don't know. Maybe not say it so sexual like?"
"Okay, how about this... Take it, Shiki.' the clown said firmly, as the Commander reached forward and...
"Yoink!" the Commander said triumphantly, as grabbed the MatctBox set out of the clown's hand. "Haha? I'm too fast you ya!"
Now filled with rage, the clown tried to lunge at the grinning Naval officer, but had managed to wedge himself tightly between the boards covering the window. "Look at you with that stupid face, you stuck!"
"Wait, come on!" the clown pleaded. "Help me out! I'll give you a Balloon!
"Oh I know something that will help you ... These Nuts! Damn crack head." he crowed, before walking off with his prize in hand.
...
Several Hours Later...
"Gotta get out of here..." the clown groaned, as he was still tightly stuck in the window. He was still struggling to get free when...
"Well Well Well... what we have here..." a female voice suddenly spoke, causing the clown to jump a bit. when he looked up, he could see a slender woman with short black hair that covered the right side of her face, large chest and wearing a
cropped jacket over a white buttoned shirt and black skirt.
"Help me, I'm stuck!" he pleaded to the woman.
"You said you're stuck..." Ark Royal replied. "I have been hearing about some clown that has been going around and trying lure my cute little destroyers into the woods. I guess that creepy clown is you."
"What?"
"What you have done is unforgivable and as such, you must be punished " and with that, the Royal Navy Carrier began to walk toward the trapped clown with... something in her hand... "I saw this in a movie .. You're gonna squeal like a pig for me, clown."
"No wait! STOP!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!!"
'