Author's note: I think most of you will be happy that there's very little Steve in this chapter. One more chapter to go after this one. Hope you enjoy and thanks for your continued kind comments.

Becky and Shane Chapter 8

Shane stepped through the doors that separated the sterile antiseptic smell that hung in the air and clung to every surface inside the hospital and the fresh spring air just outside its doors. The sweet fragrance of the blooming rhododendrons that lined the circular drive leading up to the hospital filled her nostrils. She took several deep inhales wanting to rid herself of the disinfectant smell that lingered.

Sitting behind her steering wheel she was unsure what to do next. She knew she needed to talk to her mom but thought it would be better to do it in person than by telephone. The drive to Alexandria should take 30 minutes if traffic cooperated. That would give her time to prepare her words. Shane couldn't remember the last time the name Shawn McInerney was spoken between she and her mother so her mother's reaction to the news of his death was anybody's guess.

Before doing anything she needed to let work know she would be out for the day. Shane's eyes trailed to the manila envelope she'd been given that sat like an albatross on the seat next to her. She would prefer going to work for the afternoon if only for the diversion but whatever was inside that envelope needed to be dealt with and she wanted to do it quickly so she could close the book on her dad. She shot off a quick text to Paul and Becky. Becky responded almost immediately. Is everything okay? Shane smiled at her friend's speedy show of concern. She wasn't sure what she would have done without her friendship these past few months. It really was the best thing that had come from working at the USPS.

Can't talk right now. Will call you later. Shane turned up the volume of the local radio station, hoping music would block the memory of nurse Sanders' words that were running on a loop in her head "your father died last night." She pulled out of the parking lot and started in the direction of her mom's house. As she drove her mind began to clear. Canal Road was an explosion of pink, pillowy cherry blossoms that were at their peak. She was taken back to nine-year old Shane spending the afternoon with her dad, just the two of them. Her dad always told her when the Cherry Blossoms bloomed along the Potomac it was a sure sign Spring was here. Every year when the blooms were at their peak they made the trip into DC and rented a paddle boat on the Tidal Basin. They would paddle together to an area on the water that gave them the best view of the fluffy pink trees from their vantage point on the water. Shane had blocked that memory for so long she'd forgotten about it until now. It didn't sting as much as she thought it would have. The recollection washed over her like a spring breeze and Shane wondered what other happy memories she'd locked away and forgotten. Absorbed in her thoughts Shane didn't hear the song that was playing until the chorus rang out and shook her to her very core.

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say*

The words echoed in Shane's mind and her heart clenched. Tears burned her eyes and she pulled into the closest parking lot and the first available spot. Slumping over her steering wheel Shane let the tears spill. Digging in her purse she found a couple of napkins from the restaurant of her latest takeout order and dabbed at her eyes trying to stem the flow of tears. The unexpected rush of emotions for the father she'd not had a relationship with for many years took Shane by surprise. The chorus repeated again. What would I have said to him if I wasn't too late? Shane wasn't sure she would ever know. Would I have told him I forgive him?

Shane pulled into the driveway of her mother's townhouse. Shane hadn't been to see her since New Year's Eve when she and Steve left mid-meal. Powdering her puffy eyes Shane took a couple of deep breaths to center herself. Her knock on the door went unanswered so she turned the knob finding it unlocked. Letting herself in she thought I have got to remind her to keep her front door locked. "Mom, It's Shane, where are you?"

"Shaney, what are you doing her in the middle of the morning?" Sharon came down the stairs from her home office. "Honey, what's going on?"

Shane steered her mother to the kitchen table and sat next to her. Shane covered her Sharon's hand with her own not sure who needed the connection more. "Mom, I just came from the hospital." She put her other hand to her mom's shoulder. "Dad died last night." Shane scanned her mother's face for some type of reaction. Faced with a blank stare she continued with a recap of how her dad had called a couple of months before and then the call yesterday afternoon. "I tried to see him last night but it was after visiting hours. I went back this morning but…" Shane paused.

"Oh Shaney, I'm sorry." Sharon wrapped her arms around her older daughter. "I knew he was sick. I just didn't know how sick." Letting go of Shane she grabbed a couple of mugs from the cupboard and poured each of them a cup of coffee bringing the cream and sugar to the table for Shane.

Shane did a double take. "You knew and you didn't say anything to me?"

"Shaney, I know how you feel about your dad and I didn't want to upset you." Sharon laid her hand on Shane's. "He wanted to talk to you himself and let you decide on your own whether you wanted to see him or not.

Shane softened. "Thanks mom." She and her mother didn't always see eye to eye and while she wasn't sure how she felt about her mom keeping the truth from her but she could appreciate that she was trying to spare her feelings. "Mom, will you tell Alex? I really don't have the bandwidth to deal with her right now."

"Of course." Sharon refilled the mugs.

Shane turned toward her mom. "Dad put me in charge of his affairs and I'm having a hard time understanding why he would do that."

Sharon nodded. "He mentioned it the last time we spoke. Shaney, he didn't have anyone else and he wanted to make sure you and Alex were taken care of."

"It's a little late for that isn't it?" Shane asked.

###

The service for Shawn McInerney was hardly a service at all. A few friends saying some nice things about a man Shane didn't know. It was brief and Shane was thankful for that. Shane sat with Becky to her left and her mom to her right. Alex was on the other side of their mom. There were a few people her father knew who came to pay their respects but other than that it was over quickly.

Becky insisted on coming over to Shane's afterward so she wouldn't be alone. Shane headed directly to her bedroom and reappeared shortly outfitted in her rattiest, most comfortable sweatpants and sweatshirt she could find. Becky had an ample glass of wine poured and waiting on the coffee table. Shane felt her shoulders start to relax with the first long sip. Her mouth watered as the aroma of marinara sauce and garlic bread wafted into the living room.

"Thank you Becky, for everything." Shane squeezed Becky's hand as they sat on the couch following their simple but delicious meal. "My mind has been going a hundred miles an hour since this all started and it's nice to have some down time and be able to step away from it if only for a couple of hours."

"What do you have to do next?" Becky dug her fork into the slice of chocolate fudge cake she and Shane were sharing.

Shane took a long sip of her wine. "I meet with the attorney tomorrow and then I have to clean out his house." Shane grabbed her fork and filled it with a bite of cake. "I'm going to need a lot of chocolate to get through that!" Shane put the forkful of cake in her mouth savoring the rich, fudgy texture and the creamy frosting. "Alex is already asking if there's any inheritance money. I shouldn't be surprised should I?"

"From what you've told me, I would say no, you shouldn't be surprised." Becky squeezed Shane's hand. "Let me know if you need any help…or if you need me to referee between you too."

Shane used her week of bereavement leave time to wrap up what she could of her father's business. Her mother and Alex were more helpful than Shane expected. They worked upstairs while Shane ventured into the dank concrete basement. A wall of homemade wooden shelves lined one wall. Shane pulled the string to turn on the lone lightbulb dangling by a wire in the middle of the room. Most of what she found was quickly added to a growing pile of trash. She moved from one shelf to the next until she came upon her dad's camping equipment. The musty smell reminded her of the ground after a spring rain. Shane pulled it from the shelf. Unpacking it to see if it was in any kind of condition to merit keeping she found it in relatively good shape considering its age. The bedroll, sleeping bag, flashlight, and first aid kit looked ready for use. A little smile curved her lips and she shivered remembering the last camping trip with her dad and how cold it was that night. The rain pelted the tent and they hunkered down inside playing cards by flashlight, eating chips and drinking water from his old canteen. Rolling it all back up Shane set it aside to take with her. She doubted she would ever use it but something about the memories it evoked compelled her to keep it.

Shane was just locking up the door to the house and looking forward to a long soak in her tub with lots of bubbles, candles and a glass of cabernet when her phone dinged. Checking the screen she saw it was Steve and he was back. For the first time since they'd started dating she struggling to muster any excitement. Hey Babe, I'm home for a couple of days. Are available for dinner tonight? Shane sat on the step of the porch head in hands. The dream of a long soak in the tub quickly turned into a shower and dressing for a date. She was definitely going to need a skinny vanilla latte and its caffeine boost to get through the evening.

Sounds great she bluffed. See you at seven?

Perfect!

###

Their table at Marcel's was tucked back in the corner granting them a bit of privacy. The butterflies that usually took flight in her stomach when she saw Steve for the first time after a long separation seemed to be hibernating tonight. Probably my own exhaustion Shane thought.

Steve's hand covered Shane's and his thumb gently stroked her knuckles. His blue eyes sought hers but she was having a hard time meeting them. He was speaking but she wasn't hearing anything he was saying. Her eyes kept shifting to a small but very conspicuous item sitting to the left of Steve's hand. Given their time together was often short lived they had a no phones or outside influences understanding that meant when they were together they focused

on each other. Seeing Steve's phone sitting so obviously within arm's reach was both irritating and disconcerting. She was just about to ask him about it when the waiter came to take their dinner order. Just as the waiter stepped away from the table the shrill ring of Steve's phone filled the quiet of the restaurant. Steve dropped her hand, grabbed the phone, jumped from his chair and excused himself before heading to the front of the restaurant. Shane watched him dash off feeling a bit abandoned.

She sat playing with her napkin. How many ways could you fold a napkin? She'd made quick work of her glass of wine and her eyes kept moving to the entrance of the restaurant hoping to see Steve returning to their table. Finally after what seemed longer than the ten minutes it was, Steve returned to the table. "I'm really sorry Babe" he said throwing a wad of cash on the table to cover the bill. "I have to leave tonight. There's a situation that needs to be dealt with and it can't wait. I'll get a cab to take you home."

"Are, are you serious?" Shane's brow furrowed as she remained seated. "You just got back!"

Steve came around and began pulling her chair out from under her. "I know but I can't go into it. I just need to get going. I have to be ready to leave in an hour." Shane was used to Steve leaving at a moment's notice but never like this. He wasn't even going to drive her home? She grabbed her purse and gathered her coat from coat check. She shrugged herself into her jacket quickly ignoring Steve's attempts to help. Shoving her hand into her pockets avoided his outstretched hand.

As they waited for a cab Steve pulled Shane into his arms apologizing profusely as he always did. Shane tried to avoid his eyes but he tugged her chin so her eyes met his. His lips dusted hers with a tender kiss. "I'll miss you but I'll call you as soon as I get back." Steve settled Shane into a cab and she watched as he walked away before the cab even left the curb. Shane gave the driver her address and rested her head on the back of the seat. Fatigue slumped her shoulders and she sat back in the seat staring out the window not paying attention to where they were until the cab pulled up in front of her house.

Shane locked her front door and leaned against it releasing a heavy sigh. Kicking off her shoes with no regard to where they landed she was unzipping her dress on the way to the bathroom. The bath that had been her original plan for the evening was back on the agenda and she admitted she wasn't disappointed about it. Shane slipped through the effervescent bubbles into the heat of the bath water. The earthy aroma of sage wafted from the lit candles that lined the side of her tub. Head leaned back against her spa pillow and glass of red in her hand, Shane turned on her bubble bath playlist and did her best to clear her mind of the day.

###

Memorial Day marked the start of summer when tourists flocked to the nation's capital to take in the historic sites and monuments. Steve remained away in parts unknown. Shane had given up trying to track his time away. She realized her routine of marking his absence on her calendar did nothing to get him back any sooner. It finally dawned on her that for her own mental well-being, she was better off just waiting for his text or phone call announcing his return. In the mean-time most of Shawn McInerney's affairs had been wrapped up. At least as much as Shane could do. Now they just had to wait for everything to be filed and processed which, according to the lawyer, could take up to six months. At least she was done with her part of the process.

Shane sat in the bustling lunch room and unwrapped her sandwich while absentmindedly scrolling through her phone. There was yet another message from Alex asking if the lawyers had finalized the estate. How many times did she have to explain that the process took time. Her stomach twisted knowing why Alex was so anxious to access whatever had been left to her. Alex's choices had changed the trajectory of her life but Shane wasn't going to let it change hers. Shaking her head back and forth trying to rid herself of those thoughts Shane saw Becky walking toward her table. Welcoming the distraction Shane bit into her sandwich relishing the perfect combination of tuna, mayonnaise, celery and pickles as Becky settled in her seat.

"Hey Shaney, did you have a good weekend?"

Shane swallowed nodding her head. "Oh yeah, it was great" she feigned. "I cleaned my house, switched out my winter clothes and summer clothes, bought fertilizer for my rose bush…" She chuckled. "Isn't that everyone's idea of a good weekend?"

Becky laughed along with her. "Well, maybe for you. Those things aren't really at the top of my list. I take it Steve isn't back yet?"

Shane popped a chip in her mouth and shook her head. "Nope, haven't heard a word. But then I never do until he's back."

"Have you ever thought about seeing other people?" Becky hesitantly introduced the idea.

Shane gave a quick roll of her eyes. "No, ugh, it's so hard to find someone. I don't know if I have it in me right now."

Becky narrowed her eyes. "So you're just going to keep sitting around waiting for Steve to come back?"

Shane started cleaning up her lunch. "He said he's asked for less time away and more time at home."

"And how's that working out?"

Shane avoided Becky's cocked head and shrugged eyebrows. "He said it will be soon" she said with as much conviction as she could muster.

Becky's "uh huh" dripped in skepticism but she said nothing more.

The following Monday Shane and her fellow team leads were gathered in Paul's office for their regular Monday pow wow to review ongoing and upcoming projects. Shane bristled as Paul started assigning new projects and she wasn't named a team lead. Even in her short tenure with the USPS, she'd more than proven her ability to be a team lead. Every project she'd led to date had been finished on-time if not ahead of time. Shane's heart rate increase when Paul asked her to stay behind as the meeting came to an end. She was filled with a sense of trepidation and she eyed her boss warily.

"Shane, you're probably wondering why I didn't make you team lead on anything coming up."

Shane shifted awkwardly in her chair. "It may have crossed my mind."

"You know how much we rely on you here. Your skills are unmatched by most of the other folks in this department." Shane soaked up the compliment but sensed he had more to say. Her palms got sweaty as she wondered where he was going with the conversation.

"But" he continued.

There it was Shane thought. "But?" she reiterated.

"As much as we need you here" he hesitated…"the Denver main branch Direct Line Operations group apparently needs you more." Shuffling papers on his desk and trying to avoid her eyes he continued. "You've been requested to transfer to Denver effective immediately. Well, next Monday." He handed her several forms and she noticed the start date was, in fact, one week from today.

Shane' eyes darted between her boss and the paperwork he'd just handed her. "Do I have a say in this?"

"I'd like to say yes, but not really. Someone with a pay grade higher than mine has made the request and that's not easy to say no to." Paul came around the front of his desk and leaned against it crossing his arms.

"How am I supposed to finish up here and get there in time to start a week from now?" Shane's eyes blinked quickly as wondered how she could possibly be ready to move across the country.

"Take today and tomorrow to wrap up here then take the rest of the week off to do what you need to at home. The USPS will make flight arrangements for you to leave Saturday which gives you a day to settle a bit in Denver. We'll take care of accommodations until you find a place to live. USPS will take care of your moving costs as well. All you need to do is leave a key with someone so the movers can get in and pack up your belongings." Paul stepped around and leaned against the front of his desk with arms crossed. "I know it's unexpected but Denver says they need you there ASAP."

Shane supposed it was quite a coup that of all USPS Direct Line Operation employees she was singled out for the transfer but it didn't feel that way at the moment. At the moment she felt paralyzed. It was the 'I have so much to do I don't know where to start' feeling so you do nothing.

The first thing she did when she left Paul's office was head to Becky's office. Maggie looked up as Shane blew through the door. "Hey Maggie, is Becky available?"

"No, I'm sorry Shane, she's out all week at a conference. She won't be back until next Monday."

Shane walked slowly back to her cubicle where she sat for a moment staring at her computer screen. She had to let her mom know and Steve. Steve! The most she could do was text him and hope he got it when he returned from his latest assignment. Won't he be in for a surprise she thought. She couldn't think about that right now. There were too many other things taking priority.

Less than a week later Shane found herself sitting on a plane bound for Denver. It had been a whirlwind getting to this point but Shane hoped she'd covered most of her bases. She'd texted Becky a few times but hadn't heard back. Shane supposed she was busy with her conference. Her mom was sad that she was moving but agreed to make sure everything at her house was taken care of. Steve still hadn't returned so he would find out she was gone when he got back. She wondered what kind of response he would have. Would he come after her? As she settled into the flight Shane leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. Her hands clutched the armrest and her stomach felt like it was doing a take off of its own. Her muscles were tight with tension and her nerves were buzzing but underneath she couldn't deny the excitement of the unknown. What was in store for her in Denver?

The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics