The Episode begins with Squidward getting ready to watch his favorite show. "House Fancy". He flops down on his couch and turns on the TV.
Squidward: Ahh, Sundays. The only day of the week i can just sit back and enjoy my life. [Squidward turns on the tv and the House Fancy intro starts.]
Nicholas Withers: Greetings Friends, Welcome to another episode of House Fancy! Where we look at the- [we hear spongebob laughing off screen, Nick stops talking and squidward looks confused] We're we- [we hear patrick laughing, nick stops again also looking confused, Squidward is getting angry] we're- [ spongebob and patrick both laughing, squidward had enough he slams the front door seeing spongebob and patrick standing outside]
Squidward: WILL YOU TWO BARNACLE HEADS CLAM UP! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE LAUGHING AT??
SpongeBob: Nyaha! Nothing Squidward we're just having a laughing contest! [smug] and personally i think i'm in the lead.
Patrick: Huh?? no you're not! i have the most laughity laugh to ever laugh!
SpongeBob: oh yeah, tough guy? let's here it! [both laugh hysterically, squidward getting more and more pissed]
Squidward: SHUT UPPPPP!!!!!!!!! [ spongebob and patrick fly away down] for one day could you two be normal? i'm trying to watch my House Fancy. which you so rudely interrupted.
SpongeBob: Ooh! can we watch with you?
Squidward: .. No
SpongeBob: please
Squidward: no
SpongeBob: pleaaaasssseeee
Squidward: ehh.. nope
SpongeBob: (inhales) pretty please with goofy goobers strawberry chocolate vanilla mustard swirl sundae with extra cherries on toppp??
Squidward: well since you put it that way... NO!!! this is MY day off and it won't be ruined by you MORONS!!!
Patrick: actually .. we're idiots.
SpongeBob: yeah
Squidward: de- da- a- GO AWAY!!!! [they fly away again, he slams door]
SpongeBob: Come on, Pat.
Patrick: Hold on SpongeBob, i have an idea!
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick: if we can't watch house fancy let's be .. IN house fancy!
SpongeBob: But Patrick, we don't have fancy houses we'll never be on the show.
Patrick: Do we spongebob, do we..
SpongeBob: No, we don't.
Patrick: Do weeeee... spongebob... Do weeee
SpongeBob: No, No. No we don't
Patrick: DO WE OR DO WE NOT!!!
SpongeBob: NO NO WE DONT!!!!!
Patrick: Oh. (pause) i know! we'll lie!
SpongeBob: i don't know if that's right, Patrick. lying is wrong.
Patrick: oh pff, don't think of it as lying, SpongeBob! it's like the stretching the truth! uhh.. acting! it's what actors do! they pretend!
SpongeBob: Ohhhhh!! I didn't think of like that! Nyahaha! Let's do it!!
SpongeBob and Patrick: we're gonna be on tv! we're gonna be on tv! we're be on tv!
Squidward: (in distance) HEY PIPE DOWN YOU TWO IM TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOWS!!
SpongeBob and Patrick: (whispers) we're gonna be on tv, we're gonna be on tv.
(Bubble Transition to Squidward on the couch watching tv)
Squidward: trying to ruin my day, are they? will it's not going to work, as long i have my House Fancy.
Announcer: Welcome Back to House Fancy!
Squidward: (relaxed sigh)
Nicholas Withers: Welcome Back, Viewers. Since our last house tour i got call from a very nice young man who lives in perhaps the most exotic house i ever seen! He lives in a pineapple under the sea if you can believe it!
Squidward: (spits out coffee in shock) WHAT??? (he gets closer to the TV)
Nicholas Withers: This is the young man who lives in this wonderful one of a kind household. (pan over to spongebob with a big happy grin)
SpongeBob: HI MY NAME IS SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS I LIVE ON 124 CONUCH STREET AND I WORK AT THE KRUSTY KRAB WITH MY NEIGHBOR AND BEST FRIEND SQUIDWARD AND IM THAT LIVES IN THIS HOUSE WITH MY PET GARY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I LOVE THIS HOUSE SO KUCH AND NOW ITS ON TVVV!! (heavy breathing)
Nicholas Withers: Thank you, young man. (wipes off the saliva on his microphone)
Squidward: (looks outside seeing SpongeBob and Nick, angry))
SpongeBob shows Nick around his living room seeing Patrick on the chair eating Snail Bites watching TV.
SpongeBob: This is my Living Room, my couch, my shell phone, my welcome mat, my fish decoration, and of course my best friend on my chair!
Patrick: hey spongebob, you're on the tv [point to him watching House Fancy] and you're here too! are you a wizard?
Nicholas Withers: Amazing! is he your personal servant.
SpongeBob: Nyahaha! No he's just my friend