Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just the OCs present and as well as some original concepts in the story present.
Chapter 3 – Thieves, Mercenaries, Bounty Hunters and Assassins Part 3
We open to an old western frontier style town with a few hints of modern technology somewhere in the desert.
Inside a barber shop, we see a male old barber around his early 60s getting ready to cut a customer's hair as said customer was readjusting the height of the barber's chair that they're currently sitting on, allowing the barber to cut their hair properly.
"Okay then good sir, yeh say ya want a little off thuh top hmm? Well tha ain't no problem" said the barber with a southern accent as he held up a pair of hair clippers on one hand and a pair of barber shears on the other hand.
"We don't get a lotta people in these parts, kinda slow I have ta say, buh I'll make yeh look sharp, yes-sir-ree!" said the barber as he proceeded to cut the customer's hair.
"Yer in good ol' Bob's hands now, cuz ah'm thuh best" bragged Bob as he continued to cut his customer's hair "Bin cutting hair all mah life, no matter how big er small, ah can cut 'em all" he declared when all of a sudden… "Holy smokes!" he exclaimed while accidentally shaving off a big chunk of hair off of his customer's scalp due to getting startled from seeing someone walking past the window in front of him and his customer.
(Insert Oddworld Stranger's Wrath OST – Windy Town)
That someone who was walking past the window was what looked like a humanoid creature with a face resembling that of some kind of rabbit with brownish hair/fur around his head and has grayish skin and green eyes. He's clad in old western style clothing which included a wide-hat with animal-like ears sticking out of it, a tunic, a pair of pants and some high boots. He also has a pair of pouches on either side of his hips and strapped to his right forearm was what looked like a folded double barrel crossbow.
"It's The Stranger, a bounty hunter from Oddworld!" exclaimed Bob "He's known ta capture thuh most elusive outlaws usin only his custom-made double barrel crossbow nd a sack a small critters!" explained Bob "Nd rumor has it, tha he can even run on all fours when chasin even the fastest of outlaws or even evade 'em when he's bein chased… man, tha sure is one~ savage terror" said Bob as the Stranger walked out of view from the window as Bob looked on in wonder.
"Wonder what's he doin 'ere far west?" Bob wondered out loud "Must be on sum kinda hunt, certainly ain't 'ere fer the night life Haha!" joked Bob before proceeding to continue working on his customer's hair.
"So… as I wuz sayin- HOOOOOO!" exclaimed Bob accidentally shaving off another part of his customer's hair after seeing another person walk past the window.
(Insert Red vs Blue Season 12 Soundtrack – Schemer)
That person was a man clad in light gray full-body futuristic armor with black and green trims with hints of white and he had a green upside-down triangle in the middle of his helmet. He had a sniper rifle and machinegun strapped to his back and some kind of cylinder magnetically strapped to his right thigh.
"It's Locus! Thuh bounty hunter from Earth-HRVB!" exclaimed Bob "He was once a deadly mercenary who killed many, usin advanced stealth technology nd other assortment a weapons…" explained Bob "But now he's a bounty hunter known ta take down outlaws nd bringin' 'em all in without even killin 'em…" explained Bob as Locus walked out of view as well.
"Hey~ tha reminds me…" said Bob continuing to cut his customer's hair "Back in the good ol' days, ah used ta hang around thuh barber shop with all thuh customers" he said "Sum with nice thick black hair yeh know? Like all the- GAHH!" exclaimed Bob accidentally shaving off another portion of his customer's hair yet again after seeing yet… another person walking past the window.
(Insert Star Wars the Clone Wars Soundtrack – Anakin Stalks the Bounty Hunters – by Kevin Kiner)
That person was a humanoid alien called a Kyuzo with greenish skin and yellow eyes. He's clad in a yellow and black sleeveless turtleneck shirt under a chest plate, with an ammunition bandolier slung over his shoulder, a long red fighting skirt decorated with gold symbols and a belt, a pair of leather boots, leather arm band on his left upper arm, a pair of black fingerless gloves, a futuristic crossbow slung on his back, a unique looking metallic gray and yellow wide-rimmed hat that resembles an Amigasa hat and accompanying the alien was a hound-like alien called an Anooba.
"Ho-ly Jeezes! It's Embo! Thuh bounty hunter from thuh FFA-Galaxy!" said Bob as he continued to cut his customer's hair without even paying much attention to where he's cutting.
"He's known ta have a bounty tally tha's second ta none!" said Bob "He fought many, buh some were unable ta escape his skill" he explained "His weapon a choice is thuh bowcaster nd his trusty metal hat nd he's accompanied by his faithful Anooba companion…" he said as Embo and his Anooba companion Marrok disappeared from view.
"Man… tha sure is one badass bounty hunter…" said Bob when he stopped cutting his customer's hair and turned to see someone appear in the window again.
(Insert Back in Black by AC/DC)
"Huh?" said Bob squinting his eyes trying to identify who appeared "What in tarnation…?" he said when his eyes widened as he gasped in shock upon seeing an all too familiar individual.
It was Blazer and he had an FN SCAR-L Rifle strapped on the right side of his back.
"Mother of all tha is good! It's Blazer!" exclaimed Bob in astonishment "He's one of thuh scariest mercenary bounty hunters out there… he's known ta use flamethrowers nd other weapons against his prey nd he's killed millions of atrocious people out there nd he'd leave burning remains everywhere he went nd he's known ta have plenty a nicknames tha spread fear among anyone who'd mess with em…" said Bob as Blazer walked out of view of the window.
"Dang… he's one scary fella… I wonder…" said Bob as he looked down to his customer when he got startled as his eyes widened and jaws dropped.
(Insert Samurai Jack – Boris' Theme)
The customer slowly rose up from his seat and walked to a corner and grabbed a couple of bludgeoning clubs and a red helmet with a spike on top.
Bob gasped as he took a good look at his customer and he seemed to recognized him.
It was a burly wide muscular man with fair skin, black eyes, stubble beard, a black mustache and black hair which is now in a messed-up haircut making him almost bald. He's clad in red chest armor, red pants and black short skirt, black pants with a belt, red faulds, black and red bracers, black boots and a pair of bludgeoning maces strapped to his back.
"Oh… my…" said Bob with wide eyes "You… y-you… you're-!" stuttered Bob.
"Boris…" revealed the customer with a Russian accent putting on his helmet hiding his terrible haircut. "Biggest… baddest… bounty hunter of all… DA!" proclaimed Boris with his stern look.
The Barber just stared wide eyed as Boris approached the door to the barber shop after paying and exited. When the door shut closed, just like that, Bob the barber fainted.
Boris was now seen outside the barber shop looking around the old western style town before walking towards the path that led to the edge of town until he entered the open desert as a tumbleweed tumbled past him.
Boris walked for a while, until he stumbled upon an old shack where the other bounty hunters stood outside.
All of them were now gathered in a wide circle as an intense standoff between the group occurred. Nobody moved or spoke a word and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of Blazer's gasmask breathing.
The Stranger glanced to his left with narrowed eyes while Blazer slightly turned his head to his right. Silence continued between the group as Locus crossed his arms while the Stranger glanced to his right before shifting his sights to his left again. He then balled his right fist and slowly lifted it up as if ready to unfold his crossbow.
Embo narrowed his eyes while Marrok got into a crouching stance and started to slightly growl as if getting ready to pounce in order to protect his master.
Boris looked to his left and then to his right and then back again while Blazer had his left hand gripping the leather sheath of his machete just in case of battle and the same went for Locus putting his right hand to the cylinder on his right thigh.
The Stranger now had his right forearm lifted up keeping up his guard in case a fight will occur.
Not taking the intense atmosphere any longer, Boris yelled out "WHAT IS UP HEERE?!" he demanded.
Locus scoffed "It seems that all of us have been called up to gather here for some reason" he said crossing his arms.
"Yeh got that right" nodded Stranger in agreement also crossing his arms.
"Da! Boris got message to come here" said Boris.
Embo nodded in agreement depicting that he was called here as well.
"That's correct… and I was the one who invited all of you here" said Blazer.
The other bounty hunters turned to Blazer "You invited us here?" questioned Locus "I'm surprised that you of all people would call for assistance from fellow guild members, considering that you mostly work alone just like all of us" said Locus revealing that every bounty hunter present are members of the Shadow Fist Guild. "Well… not all of us, no offense Embo" said Locus turning to Embo who just nodded with a tip of his metal hat stating that he wasn't offended at all.
"That's right" replied Blazer with a nod "I gathered all of you here because there's this job that would take more than one bounty hunter to pull off" he told them "Although, I prefer that we discuss this matter out of this scorching heat, I propose we discuss it inside this rundown empty shack" proposed Blazer pointing a thumb to said shack next to them.
"Da, it is hot" agreed Boris.
"Hm…" nodded Blazer.
"Hm…" nodded Locus.
"Hm…" nodded Stranger.
"Hm…" nodded Embo.
"Hm…" nodded Blazer.
"Hm…" nodded Locus.
"Hm…" nodded Stranger.
"Hm…" nodded Embo.
"Hm…" nodded Boris.
"Hm…" nodded Blazer.
"Hm…" nodded Locus.
"Hm…" nodded Stranger.
"Hm…" nodded Embo.
"Hm…" nodded Blazer.
"Hm…" nodded Locus.
"Hm…" nodded Stranger.
"Hm…" nodded Embo.
"Hm…" nodded Boris.
Just when the group was about to enter the shack, they all heard the sound of engines revving towards their direction.
"Hmm?" hummed Embo in confusion as he and everyone else turned towards the sound.
(Insert Bad to the Bone – George Thorogood & The Destroyers)
The source of the sound was a maroon colored racecar with a large engine sticking out of the top of the hood and it was racing towards the shack in an accelerated pace.
"Ah… he's here" said Blazer "And I thought he wouldn't come…" he said.
Upon getting a closer look at the car, the rest of the bounty hunters became flabbergasted due to the fact that they recognize that car.
"You've got to be kidding…" said Locus turning to Blazer "You invited "him" too?" he said in disbelief.
Blazer nodded in response "I did…" was his simple answer.
The car then skidded to a halt in front of the bounty hunters creating a dust cloud, causing those without any breathing protection to cough hard while those who did just remained indifferent.
When the dust cleared, the driver seat window opened to reveal the car's driver.
It was a young man around his 40s with slicked back blonde hair, fair skin and pointy nose. He's clad in a red and black racing suit with a lightning bolt symbol at the chest area, white gloves and a mask with red eye visors leaving his lower face and hair exposed. This is LaGrange, an illegal racer and a bounty hunter of the Shadow Fist Guild.
"Bonjour my fellow bounty hunters! I have arrived in time for ze meeting!" he greeted with a French accent.
"Oh… it's you…" said Boris with a deadpan tone.
"Lagrainge/Lahgranj/Lug-runj…" said everyone except for Locus and Blazer who remained silent.
A vain popped into the racer's head "It is pronounced… LUH-GRAA-NJ!" he shouted.
Locus turned to Blazer "Are you seriously bringing him along in the operation?" he questioned.
"Trust me… I'll explain once we get inside" he told Locus.
The group were now inside the shack. They were provided with bottles of water courtesy of Blazer who kept some in the pocket dimension of his advanced wrist watch attached to his left wrist. Embo's companion Marrok was provided with a bowl that had water with said Anooba helping himself to some to quench his thirst.
The bounty hunters who had headwear currently had said headwear placed on an empty table, revealing Stranger's animal-like ears on top of his head, Locus' face which is that of a middle aged African-American with brown skin, gray eyes, black long hair held in a ponytail and an asymmetrical X-shaped scar in the middle of his face, Embo's bald head, Blazer's unkempt chestnut brown hair and of course Boris' terrible haircut, although Lagrange and Blazer kept their masks on.
Blazer proceeded to drink his bottle of water using a straw as he drank through his mask which had the mouth area open through a hatch and it was kinda weird but the others didn't mind because this was somehow normal for them to see Blazer keeping his gasmask on.
"Nice haircut monsieur" snarked Lagrange with a chuckle after noticing Boris' terrible haircut.
"Shut up! Boris went to barber back at town before getting here" he said.
Embo then said something in his own language to Boris which of course said brute couldn't understand.
"Wha? What alien hunter say? Speak normal" said Boris.
Embo rolled his eyes as he lifted up his left wrist to reveal a gray advanced wrist watch on it. He pressed a few buttons before some form of static came from within the collar of his neck as Embo cleared his throat while rearranging the collar of his shirt which hid a translator collar worn on his neck "I said that the barber must be getting old for his age" spoke Embo with an automated voice that had a French accent.
"Bah… barber just keep messing up because he saw you and everyone pass window" replied Boris.
"Hmm… then ah guess he should learn how ta pay attention to his work instead of just gawking at us whenever we pass by his window" commented Stranger as everyone minus Locus and Blazer laughed at his comment.
"Alright all of you, gather round…" said Blazer as everyone stopped and went to Blazer.
The gasmask wearing bounty hunter placed some kind of metal disk in the middle of another empty table and pressed a button activating it. The disk viewed a holographic map with two blinking dots in them.
"This is us, we are right over here" said Blazer pointing towards the green dot which showed the location of the shack. "This is the village we passed by" he said pointing towards a spot on the map a few kilometers away from the green dot showing the town they passed by.
"And this…" he trailed off as he pointed towards a red dot located a few miles away from their location "Is where our target is hiding" he said.
The disk then changed to a picture of a large single-story hacienda style house surrounded by a fortified wall. If you looked closely, it looked more akin to a temple-like fortress.
"Ooh~ la la~! Zat is one beautiful house I must say" said Lagrange admiring the beauty of the hacienda.
"Da, Boris agrees" agreed Boris admittedly.
"Our target is a man named Sid Crowe" said Blazer as he viewed a hologram of a middle-aged man with shoulder length black hair, Caucasian skin, skinny frame, a chin strap style beard and black eyes. He's clad in a white button up long sleeve shirt with top part slightly unbuttoned under an open dark blue denim jacket, a pair of blue jeans with a belt that holds bullets and a holster carrying a Colt Revolver Pistol on his right hip, a pair of fingerless gloves, a pair of cowboy boots and a black Stetson hat and he had a smug look on his face.
"He's wanted for several things: murder, theft, bribery, rape, typically every jailable offense you could think of and he's escaped just about every law enforcement in the Multiverse" explained Blazer getting everyone intrigued "He's well known for being an expert gunslinger and sharpshooter, also… he's a former member of the Crimson Horns" he added and the last part got everyone's attention.
"Quoi, qu'avez-vous dit?! Did you just say ze Crimson Horns?!" LaGrange exclaimed with wide eyes behind his mask.
"As in our guild's biggest clients?" Locus questioned with narrowed eyes.
Blazer nodded "The very same" he said "Apparently, Sid stole a large sum of money from them a couple of years ago and went into hiding until he was off the radar… that didn't mean he was off the wanted list" he said as he gave his fellow bounty hunters his wanted poster.
Locus took it and he and the other bounty hunters examined it and were surprised about the reward.
"Zut alors! 2 million dollars, zat sure is a big bounty!" said LaGrange in surprise.
"Guess that shouldn't be surprising, considering how he escaped the authorities several times" commented Embo.
"That's correct Embo, heck, he even escaped SPD once" said Blazer which impressed everyone.
The Stranger whistled "Guess that comes to show of how elusive he is" he commented.
"Yes" nodded Blazer "And as you already know, he's hiding inside that house behind this fortified wall enjoying his life like an aristocrat" he said "And apparently, he's the defacto "lord" of the town" he said "His goons would go onto town and demand taxes and if the town doesn't have any taxes to pay, they'd take the young woman as compensation" Blazer explained with venom in his voice.
"Hmm… typical of tyrant leaders like him" commented Stranger with narrowed eyes.
"Anyway…" said Blazer touching a few buttons on the holo-map "We'll need a plan of attack so that we can reach our target" said Blazer.
"Bah…!" said the voice of Boris as everyone turned to him.
"You want good plan? Boris have good plan… PAH-TOOEY!" he said while spitting on the floor "Boris is best! Plan will get Boris the bounty" he bragged while pounding his chestplate.
"Oh really?" said Blazer in mild amusement.
"This'll be good…" said LaGrange to the others as they decided to listen in to the bulkheaded bounty hunter's "plan".
(Insert Samurai Jack – Boris' Theme)
We now go into a sequence where everything looks like it's drawn by an eight-year old kid. It showed a picture of Sid Crowe's hideout.
"Skinny man is hiding in house behind wall, I do not wait" narrated Boris as the sequence showed a childishly drawn version of Boris standing in front of the walls with childishly drawn versions of the other bounty hunters.
"BAAM!" It then showed Boris smashing through the walls like it was nothing while the other bounty hunters sweat dropped "Boris breaks through wall…" it then showed Boris smash through the house and into where a childishly drawn version of Sid Crowe was "Boris break through house and find skinny man…".
It then showed Sid pull out his gun and start shooting Boris "He will attack… with gun…" it then showed the bullets hit the stomach area of Boris' chestplate but just falls down to the ground "Bullets break against my belly…" narrated Boris.
It then showed Boris who looked way taller than Sid raise his spiked clubs at him and start smashing him repeatedly leaving only clouds of dust in its wake "Then I break him! Break~ him! Break~ him! BREAK~ HIM!" behind Boris were the other bounty hunters watching him with sweat drops on the sides of their heads.
"That's how Boris gets the bounty! Any questions?!" declared Boris proudly as the sequence ended.
"Have you always been this stupid?" questioned the voice of Locus.
"YEEES!" he replied only to realize what he heard and said "What? Wha?! Duh uhh…" stuttered Boris turning to Locus who had a deadpan look while the other bounty hunters minus Blazer who remained indifferent snickered at the bulkheaded bounty hunter.
"You're underestimating your opponent again Boris, there's no telling what Sid might have under his sleeve" Locus told him "Remember what happened last time? Back before you joined the guild and attempted to take out Samurai Jack?" he reminded Boris making the giant of a man stutter a bit.
"Oui… Monsieur "Da Bomb"." snarked LaGrange referring Boris by his nickname making the others minus Locus and Blazer laugh.
"Shut up!" shouted Boris about ready to pounce on LaGrange.
"Everyone! How about we just focus on the target instead of ourselves?!" said Blazer making everyone stop and returned their attention to him "Good…" nodded Blazer as he and everyone else turned back to the screen.
"Sid has a number of body guards inside his house, one in just about every corner in the house both in and out" explained Blazer as the hologram showed images of typical bodyguards armed with AK-47s both inside and outside the house "Sid also has an automated defense system composed of hidden rocket launchers and machineguns outside the walls" said Blazer as the hologram showed an x-ray of the outside of the walls and showed rocket pods and automated machineguns hidden underground in some locations "He also happens to have a couple of battle robot sentinels" said Blazer as the hologram showed a picture of about four to six robots armed to the teeth and they were about twice the size as Boris "He also has mounted gatling guns in some positions at the top of the wall" he explained showing said guns placed in some parts of the wall "And finally…" trailed off Blazer as he showed another screen of an army of soldiers clad in futuristic armor similar to Locus but some were blue while some were red and they all had green visors on their helmets and they were armed with MA5D Assault Rifles with a couple of them armed with SRS99-S5 AM Sniper Rifles "These guys…" said Blazer.
Upon closer look, Locus recognized them "Hey… I recognized them" he said "Those were the red and blue soldiers I fought back on my Earth when I helped the Reds and Blues" he said.
"That's right" nodded Blazer "Apparently, they're calling themselves the "Battle Creek Zealots" and they became a group of freelance mercenaries and they've been hired by Crowe as his auxiliary bodyguards/cannon fodder" said Blazer.
"I heard of these 'Zealots', they tend to argue a lot with one another, why would Sid hire these people?" questioned Embo.
"Apparently, they have this… uncanny ability to come back to life whenever the sound of a bugle is heard from out of nowhere" Blazer explained which raised an eyebrow from everyone minus Locus.
"Okay… zat is very unusual…" said LaGrange.
"Da, it is unusual" nodded Boris in agreement.
"Considering how I've been with a group of unusual people before… well… I'm not surprised" commented Locus.
"This is the plan…" said Blazer as he touched a few buttons as the hologram showed a schematic of the house and wall "Some of us will need to get inside the house but it seems that Sid made the whole outside stealth proof, so we need a distraction" explained Blazer.
"And who exactly is gonna be ze one causing ze distraction?" LeGrange questioned while rubbing his chin in wonder.
"That would be you LaGrange" replied Blazer bluntly.
"Quoi?! Tu viens de me dire?!" exclaimed LaGrange in surprise while gesturing to himself.
"Yes… but we'll also be needing Stranger and Boris for the distraction" said Blazer getting Stranger and Boris' attention.
"Why does Boris get to be distraction?" he frowned.
"Because Boris… you prefer to charge in ahead instead of sneak in unnoticed" replied Blazer simply.
"Da! Boris does not like sneaking" replied Boris in agreement.
"The first thing we need to do is get the zealots attention" explained Blazer "Stranger, you use some of your critters to distract the zealots" he said as Stranger nodded "And once they're distracted, LaGrange comes in with his car, activating the automated defense system, I'm sure that you can handle that, after all… you're specialty is speed and you can avoid the defenses and handle the zealots no problem" quipped Blazer making the racing bounty hunter smirk.
"Hohoho~! You are correct my gasmask wearing friend… no one can ever catch LaGra~nge" he bragged.
"While LaGrange distracts the zealots, Embo will take care of the ones on top of the wall using his sniper skills" said Blazer.
"Okay" nodded Embo.
"After that… We'll head towards the gate with Boris charging in first breaking through and he'll take care of the robot sentinels" said Blazer.
"Da! Boris will break stupid robots!" said Boris punching his palm with his fist in excitement.
"After that… while LaGrange, Boris and Stranger keep the guards occupied, Locus, Embo and I will search the house for the target… and once we find him, we'll take him out" said Blazer.
"Are we all in agreement?" he asked.
Everyone nodded and said their own approvals.
"Da, plan okay, but there one problem…" said Boris "Who gets bounty?" he questioned.
"Glad you asked Boris" said Blazer as everyone listened to him "To make things simple for you to understand… I've been personally hired by the head honcho of the Crimson Horns himself to hunt down Sid" he explained surprising everyone.
"He recommended that I gather up a team to make things easier" he said "And he said to bring Sid's head to him personally" he said "And if we succeed, he said he'll give the exact amount of reward money times the same number of teammates I've brought with me and split it between us" he explained "And considering how many of us are here… I'd say the reward money will be 12 million in total" he concluded leaving everyone astonished.
"Sacrebleu…" said LaGrange in surprise with wide eyes.
"That's a lot of money" said Boris.
"That large amount a moolah could last one person months…" said Stranger rubbing his chin.
"Too bad, it'll be split into six amounts of 2 million" LaGrange commented.
"Just be grateful that we are even payed money rather than none at all" retorted Embo.
"Da! Boris wants to get paid please" said Boris.
"You'll get it" said Blazer.
"I better" said Boris.
"You will…" replied Blazer.
"I better" said Boris.
"You will…" replied Blazer.
"Okay, let's go now…" said Boris as everyone nodded in agreement, got ready and prepared to move out.
(Insert Oddworld Stranger's Wrath OST – Fighting Outlaws)
The six bounty hunters were now outside and were ready to move out. And all of them were seated on vehicles that they summoned from their advanced watches.
Blazer was riding his custom-made Harley motorbike which he named Flame Comet, Locus was in a military issue ATV called a Mongoose, Embo was riding a BARC Speeder Bike which had a side car attached to it where Marrok sat, LaGrange was of course riding his racecar, Boris was riding a three wheeled Paul Jr. motorbike which had a color scheme that matched his armor with rocket boosters added to the back and Stranger, well… he was riding in the passenger seat of LaGrange's car since he didn't have a vehicle himself.
"Glad to have you onboard monsieur Stranger… please put on your seatbelt while your driver LeGrange handle ze driving… and do keep your little critters in check s'il vous plaît" said LaGrange much to Stranger's chagrin as he growled but obeyed none the less.
"One more thing you should know before we get this over with guys…" said Blazer through their comlinks as they listened in "Two things… one, is that there's no doubt that a lot of females would be there held prisoner in Sid's home, so we should set them free while we're at it and we should avoid hurting any of them or let them get caught in the crossfire along the way" he said.
"But of course, I don't mind rescuing a few femmes along ze way" said LaGrange.
"Boris don't mind, so long as Boris gets bounty, Boris is okay" agreed Boris.
"I'm in…" said Locus and the rest agreed.
"What is other thing?" asked Boris.
"The big cheese told me that Sid stole something from him… and he wants it back" said Blazer.
"What is it that he stole?" Locus questioned.
"He didn't say… all he said that whatever Sid stole was something dangerous when used in the wrong hands which is his hands obviously" said Blazer.
"Hmph… I guess we'll find out once we arrive" said Locus.
"Alright boys… let's roll…" said Blazer as he and the rest of the bounty hunters rode off to their designated target.
We now change to the hacienda style house surrounded by the fortified wall. At the top part of the wall, we see two soldiers clad in red armor keeping an eye out for intruders, these are two of the red members of the Battle Creek Zealots.
"Hey…" said a Red Grunt in a high-pitched voice turning to the other Red Grunt.
"Yeah?" replied the second Red Grunt also in a high-pitched voice.
"You ever wonder why we're here?" asked Red Grunt 1.
"It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it. Why are we here?" said Red Grunt 2 "I mean… are we some product of… some cosmic coincidence or… is there really a God… watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night" said Red Grunt 2.
There was a long pause between the two before Red Grunt 1 said "What? I meant why are we out here, up on this wall?" he asked.
"Oh, uh… yeah…" replied Red Grunt 2 looking down nervously.
"What was that stuff about God?" questioned Red Grunt 1.
"Uh… hm? Nothing" replied Red Grunt 2.
"You want to talk about it?" asked Red Grunt 1.
"No" replied Red Grunt 2.
"You sure?" asked Red Grunt 1.
"Yeah" replied Red Grunt 2 looking away.
"Seriously though, why are we up here?" asked Red Grunt 1 "I mean why are we standing up here in the scorching heat when we could just be STANDING DOWN THERE IN THE COOL SHADE WHERE THE DIRTY BLUES ARE!" shouted Red Grunt 1 while looking downwards to the exterior area of the wall where two soldiers clad in blue armor were standing, these are two of the blue members of the Battle Creek Zealots.
"Hey back off Reds! We were assigned this place fair and square!" retorted a Blue Grunt.
"Yeah! You suck Red!" said a second Blue Grunt.
"Your spot doesn't have the sun scorching you like an egg ya Blue, try our spot!" Red Grunt 2 argued.
"You don't even have shade or a roof up there, you suck!" Blue Grunt 2 pointed out "Just continue to stay in your spot like you're ordered to ya noob!" he mocked.
"You suck!" replied Red Grunt 1.
"You suck!" replied Blue Grunt 1.
"You suck!" Red Grunt 2 followed.
"You suck!" Blue Grunt 2 argued.
"You suck!" Red Grunt 1 argued back.
"You suck!" Red Grunt 2 followed.
"You suck!" Red Grunt 1 insulted.
"You suck!" Blue Grunt 2 insulted back.
"No, you do!" Red Grunt 1 argued.
"We suck?" quipped Blue Grunt 1 "No, you suck!" he retorted.
"No, you suck!" Red Grunt 2 said.
"No, you suck!" said Blue Grunt 1.
"No, you suck!" argued back Red Grunt 1.
"Ugh… those idiots are at it again…" frowned one of Sid's personal bodyguards who he and another were sitting on a table in a corner of the hacienda playing cards while they listened to the zealots arguing.
"Well, what can ya do? The boss specifically hired them so we wouldn't have to spend all day at the walls" reasoned another of Sid's personal bodyguards.
"Meh… ya got a point" agreed Bodyguard 1 as he and Bodyguard 2 continued playing their game.
While the zealots were arguing, a few feet away from them, a certain 'stranger' was hiding on the tall grass watching the whole argument.
He hummed and narrowed his eyes as he got his arm mounted double barrel crossbow ready. He put two types of critters on his crossbow.
One of them looked like a rodent that resembles that of a chipmunk and the other one looked like a yellow wasp. These were the Chippunk and the Stingbee respectfully, the latter allowing Stranger to fire at a rapid pace like an smg and the former having the ability to lure his enemies simply by annoying them.
Stranger pointed to a spot near one of the Blue zealots and fired, launching a chippunk in the process.
Once it landed, the chippunk spoke "Hey! Hey blue brain! Hey Blue brain hey!" it called out.
"Huh? Who said that?" said the Blue zealot stopping his argument with the reds looking for the source of the high-pitched voice.
"Over here! You suck Blue!" said the chippunk jumping around and the Blue zealot saw it.
"Hey Blue! Is that you're armor? Or did you paint it to look like a Smurf?" it mocked.
(Insert Red vs Blue OST – Noobs Rush In by Trocadero)
"Why you little- get over here you stupid squirrel!" shouted the Blue Grunt running towards the chippunk "I'm a chippunk ya nut brain!" mocked the rodent and the Blue Grunt shouted and started shooting it with his rifle but kept missing.
"You call that shooting? My grandma can shoot better than you!" the chippunk taunted annoying the Blue Grunt even more.
"Hey! Hey over here ya dirty blue!" shouted another chippunk that was heard by another Blue Grunt who turned to the chippunk a few feet away from the blue soldier.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, Blue team sucks, including you!" the chippunk taunted "Oh no you did-n't!" said the second Blue grunt and ran towards the chippunk and attempted to shoot it down with his rifle but got the same results as his fellow blue companion.
A couple more Blue Grunts followed after Stranger fired a couple more chippunks near them distracting them.
The Stranger watched and couldn't help but chuckle at this due to how stupid the zealots were "Reminds me of those outlaw grunts I captured" he quipped.
"Hahahaha! What's the matter Blue? Can't shoot a little chipmunk?!" taunted one of the Red Grunts as he and the other Red Grunts couldn't help but laugh at the Blues' predicament.
Suddenly, one of the Reds noticed something at the horizon "Hey! What's that over there?" he questioned getting his fellow Reds' attention.
One of the other Red Grunts took out his sniper rifle and took a look through the scope and zoomed in "It looks like a…" said the Red Grunt as the image took focus and saw that it was a "It's a car!" he exclaimed.
"A CAR?!" exclaimed some of the other Red Grunts flabbergasted.
(Marvel vs Capcom 3 OST – Theme of Deadpool (Full Version))
Indeed, heading straight towards the wall was an all too familiar maroon car as it triggered the motion sensors and activated the defense system as a barrage of missiles and bullets were launched heading straight for the car but thanks to the driver's skills, he dodged them without a hitch.
Before anyone could do anything, three of the distracted Blue zealots were rammed by the car as said blue zealots rolled over the car's roof killing them instantly.
Some of the remaining Blue Grunts and the Red Grunts stared in shock at what happened.
The car window then opened and a familiar illegal racecar driver peaked his head out "Bonjour monsieur soldiers!" LeGrange greeted "Lovely weather we're having" he said.
"CHAAARRGE!" shouted the zealots as some of them charged at the car while others prepared to man the gatling gun turrets.
"Come and get me then you petits soldats rouges et bleus!" taunted LaGrange as he revved up his engines and drove everywhere as the automated defenses continued to concentrate their fire on him while the zealots joined in on the barrage.
"Prepare to face our holy wra-" *SMACK!* one of the still alive Blue Grunts tried to say only for what looked like a living brown fuzz ball with eyes and razor sharp teeth stick to his face and started munching on him, this little monstrosity is called a Fuzzle "AAAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" exclaimed the poor blue grunt running around like crazy while the little ball of fuzz continued to chomp on his helmet.
Other Blue Grunts were also given a Fuzzle on either part of their body including their butt "OH! MY BUTT!" exclaimed one of the poor Blue Grunts.
Stranger watched as he chuckled in amusement when he heard "Hey!" he turned to see a Red Grunt had spotted him using his sniper rifle scope "I see an intruder! He's over-" but unfortunately, before the Red Grunt could give away his position, Stranger fired a barrage of Stingbees at him causing the Grunt to fall on his back.
"Doaf!" exclaimed the grunt hitting the floor and the next thing he knew he was surrounded by Stingbees in his body. "HOOE! BEEEES!" the poor Red Grunt exclaimed as the bees swarmed around him as he screamed in terror. He rolled around and managed to get up and started running around like crazy until he ended up falling down the inside of the wall screaming and landed with a *SPLAT!* "I'M OKAY!" the Red zealot called out but couldn't move.
"What the heck is goin on?!" said one of Sid Crowe's bodyguards from before who stood up from his seat and saw the chaos unfolding. He pulled out a walkie talkie and contacted one of the grunts nearby "Hey you! What's goin on up there?!" he demanded.
"Sir we got an intruder- GAHH!" said the Red Grunt only for the connection to get cut-off upon screaming.
The guard growled and turned to his other fellow guard "Sound the alarm! And activate the sentinels!" he commanded and the other guard nodded and contacted the other guards.
Back at the wall, the same Red Grunt the Bodyguard lost contact with was shot in the head courtesy of a distant blaster bolt.
From a distance in another hiding spot was Embo, his eye on his Bowcaster scope while in a crouching position. He muttered something in his own language before continuing to fire his bowcaster at his targets up at the wall as some got hit by his line of fire.
Meanwhile with the Blue Grunts, one of them was firing his rifle at LaGrange like the other blues when all of a sudden, he heard the sound of growling near him. He stopped and turned to see Marrok ready to pounce on him.
"Uh… nice… doggy?" the blue zealot said nervously when the Anooba pounced at him causing him to lose his rifle "AAAHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! MOMMYYYYYYY!" screamed the zealot as Marrok started biting and mauling him while both of them were in a dust cloud. Some nearby blue zealots attempted to help their fellow blue but ended up joining in on the dust cloud.
"WHERE IS THAT THING?! GET IT OFF!"
"OW! NOT OVER HERE!"
"OW! MY LEG!"
"IT'S BITING ME! IT'S BITING MEEEEEE!"
Meanwhile in another hiding spot, Blazer, Locus and Boris watched the chaos unfold "Good… they're distracted" said Blazer.
"I'm surprised that LaGrange is doing well despite that attitude of his when racing, never knew that his dirty racing could come in handy" commented Locus as he, Boris and Blazer turned to see LaGrange driving around against a couple of blue zealots both riding a mongoose with one zealot driving and the other aiming his rifle at the illegal racer's car.
"You think you can outrace LaGrange? Think again!" taunted LaGrange before ramming the side of his car to the mongoose hurling the two zealots off their vehicle.
"Man… Boris still can't believe someone like racecar man is part of guild" commented Boris.
"Meh… The boss kinda took pity on him since that lousy excuse of a version of Ben 10 kept defeating him, plus just be glad that the boss opened up his eyes to being more then becoming the fastest in his world or even the multiverse" he said and the two had to admit that they couldn't help but agree on that remark.
Back then, LaGrange used to have this petty villain goal of becoming the fastest in his world, faster than anything including some new bullet train and his plans kept getting foiled by the none other than the alien transforming hero Ben 10. Although it's not the one you all know but the… "other" Ben 10 that I rather not ever mention again. When LaGrange was just about reaching hope's end and not to mention on the verge of facing the wrath of his apartment landlord's wrath due to overdue payment, the Master of the Shadow Fist Guild found him and offered him a proposal to join his guild. He was reluctant at first but after the Master gave him two options to go with him and enter a life where he can earn a lot of money or stay in his world and face the landlord's wrath, LaGrange accepted.
The other members of the guild didn't like him at first due to his petty dream of becoming the fastest but after the Master knocked some sense into him that there's more to life than being the fastest in the world or even the multiverse, LaGrange reinvented himself and dedicated his life to being the best racecar driving bounty hunter in the guild, although he still had that cocky attitude of his when racing, specifically against vehicle chasers but he's become bearable around the other guild members.
Blazer turned to Boris "Boris…" he said as the brute turned to him "Smash" he said while pointing towards the gate.
Boris grinned and stood out of hiding, spiked clubs in hand "BORIS HAS BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!" he exclaimed in glee as he charged in towards the gate with a war cry while Blazer and Locus followed suit.
One unfortunate Blue Grunt was in Boris' way and ended up getting sent flying to his right courtesy of the latter's clubs before Boris crashed through the wooden gate.
Moments prior…
Behind the gate, the Red zealot from the wall who got swarmed by stingbees managed to stand back up as he groaned and creaked his neck.
"Hey! I'm alive!" he exclaimed in joy. But it was short lived, because…
"BAM!" Boris crashed through the gate and swung his clubs at the poor red grunt sending him flying.
"I REGRET NOTHIIIIIING!" he exclaimed as he flew upwards to the sky until he disappeared in a twinkle.
"KNOCK! KNOCK!" exclaimed Boris as he, Locus and Blazer entered.
"It's the intruders! Get them!" shouted one of Sid Crowes bodyguards as they charged in towards the trio.
"Hmph…" scoffed Blazer as he swung the right side of his coat revealing his SP5K-like weapon as he unholstered it and lifted it up towards the charging bodyguards, gunslinger style.
And with a sideways swing, Blazer unleashed a torrent of fire with a *FWOOOOOSH!*.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed some of the bodyguards who ended up catching fire and started to drop and roll.
"No way… a flamethrower?!" said one of the bodyguards who didn't catch fire.
"It can't be!?" said another.
"It's El Diablo de Fuego!" exclaimed one of the bodyguards who was Mexican.
"Don'tcha mean thuh Hellfire Spawn?!" corrected another bodyguard.
"It doesn't matter who he's called! Just get them!" commanded the lead bodyguard as they snapped out of it and charged at the trio.
*BLAM!*
"Ow! My kneecaps!" exclaimed one bodyguard falling to the ground.
The one responsible for shooting the bodyguard on the kneecaps was Locus with his sniper rifle aimed as he fired another shot at another bodyguard's kneecaps, followed by another.
Suddenly, four hatches opened in four corners of the area the trio were in and four robotic golems walked out of said hatches. They were about twice the size as Boris and they were armed to the teeth.
"Hmph… looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way" quipped Locus switching over his sniper rifle for his M739 SAW LMG.
"Indeed, we do…" agreed Blazer with a nod as he holstered his weapon which he calls the Torchthrower and unholstered his SCAR Rifle.
And so, the battle between Sid Crowe's bodyguards and robot sentinels and the bounty hunters officially began.
"Oh dear, it seems Blazer and his team are in a pinch, I wonder if they'll survive?" said the voice of the infamous phantom thief Nexus Lupin "And what is this power that Sid Crowe stole that Nexus mentioned? Well… all of you will have to stay tuned for the next chapter~" said Nexus playfully.
"Anyway, see you next chapter" said Nexus "Ciao~!"
Author's Notes:
Inspired from XP4Universe and Fir100
That's all for the new chapter. The mercenary bounty hunter Blazer has gathered a group of bounty hunters who're all in the same guild as him and among them are Embo and his pet Anooba Marrok, Locus , Boris, the Stranger and LaGrange. They hatched up a plan to take down their target and their plan is now underway as they face off against the Battle Creek Zelots and their target's bodyguards.
Locus from Red vs Blue is here and so is the Battle Creek Zelots and since Locus has experience with facing the latter, the group will have a bit of an advantage on them.
To those who don't know, The Stranger is from the game Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath and he's a bounty hunter who dislikes using guns and favors using a crossbow and uses critters for ammo, in other words actual "live" ammo.
To fellow Ben 10 fans out there, I'm sure some of you might recognize the racecar driver LaGrange. But to those who don't, he's a villain who strives to be the fastest in the world and Ben would stop him every time. Now I know that most of you don't like the Rebooted version of Ben 10 and to be honest, I don't like it either but so far, LaGrange is the only bad guy who took my interest. Now, I'm sure that most of you (probably) might not like him but don't worry, after watching him in action in the Reboot (which I watched in the episodes with only him in it), I fixed him up and made him a bounty hunter in here but more bearable courtesy of the leader of the Shadow Fist Guild who you'll see in the future chapters, plus LaGrange will also be a bit of a comic relief in the series.
Now to Star Wars fans, I'm sure you noticed that I gave Embo a vocal translator allowing him to speak English, now I know some of you prefer that he speaks his own language but I'm kinda lazy in writing it down, plus he kinda sounds like he's talking gibberish to be honest, no offense. And I'm sure you also noticed that I gave him a French accent. Reason why is because it was explained by Dave Filoni, the one who voiced Embo that Kyuzo language is comprised primarily of intentionally mispronounced French words from children's books about The Smurfs and in another Author's story, they depicted Embo's language based off of misspelled French and that's why I gave him that accent, that way it would be interesting. But don't worry, I'll also try on typing Embo's language in future chapters of my stories
One more thing: I'm sure you recognized Boris from Samurai Jack, he's a bounty hunter who he along with five others failed to catch him and it was speculated that he took up a new name which is "Da Bomb" as it was seen in Season 5 because Jack threw bombs at him, so I decided to make it official in my stories to make things interesting. Also, I gave him a sweet ride of his own.
Can you also guess the reference of the chapter from the start to the part when the bounty hunters left for their target? Feel free to guess in the Reviews.
And if you're wondering what power Blazer's target stole, you'll have to find out next chapter. So, stay tuned.
This is XD Warden warping out.