A/N and Disclaimer: I own nothing as always thanks for reading and supporting we have only one more chapter to go. Mercedes has finally saw the light and is letting everything go: her grandmother's death, her avoidance of anything that brings her fear, and realization that she loves Sam. Now Sam is gotta get his letter from the grave moment with his own family secrets to free him to fight for his and Cedes' love. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy reading your comments. Thanks for whoknowstv for the longest review in history it inspired me to finish this even though I cut a finger and typing with a bandage on is very awkward, and I make plenty of mistakes. You all are my Christmas gift, and I am giving you a Christmas present at the end of this one a five chapter Samcedes reconfiguration of A Christmas Kiss by Roxy Wilson. Hopefully on Christmas Day. We will see what this crazy weather does first.

Chapter 15

Sam

Nashville, Tennessee

December 22

Sam, you need to come home. Right now."

It had been only seconds since his sister had told him this over the phone, but it felt like an eternity, especially because he couldn't hear her voice anymore.

"Stace? Are you there?"

Sam was frantically trying to buckle his seat belt and McConaughey's, images of what might have happened at home swirling like a sickening kaleidoscope through his mind. Maybe Dwight had suffered a heart attack or fallen off one of his horses. Or maybe something had happened to Stacie's baby? "Hello?! Maria Anastasia Evans!"

But the reception was terrible, and his sister's voice kept cutting out.

"What's happening? Are you okay?"

"I don't know . . . Dad . . . hurry . . ."

Sam's heart leapt out of his chest.

"What happened to Dad? Stace!" Sam put his phone on speaker as he backed the truck up. "Hello? I can't hear—"

But Stacie had hung up.

Just then his phone rang again, and he answered without looking thinking it was Stacie calling him back.

"Stacie, I'm on my way."

"Sam? It's Tana. Is everything okay?"

Sam sighed, pressing his foot harder on the gas. The truck sped up. "I have no idea how to answer that question right now."

"What's going on?"

He paused, pressed his lips together. How could he even explain everything when he didn't really know?

"Look, take some ibuprofen. I'm sure that headache of yours isn't helping things."

"How do you know I have a headache?" Sam changed lanes carefully. The last thing he needed was to get in an accident.

"Well, you were drunk as a skunk yesterday," Tana said.

"Huh? How did you know that?" he asked.

Tana paused. "I know, because you called me."

Sam tried to catch up. "Come again?"

"Well, it wasn't me you were trying to call, but I got the voicemail."

"Tana, I have a headache that would make most people curl up on the ground, and something is going on with Stacie, and everything in my life feels ass backward, so could you just come out with it?"

"You left a voicemail for Cedes, but you had actually called me instead." When Sam said nothing, Tana continued, her voice softening. "You declared your everlasting love for her, Sam. You were slurring something awful, but that part I heard loud and clear."

"Oh hell no . . ." A vague, distant memory of calling Cedes landed in his brain. He had told her he loved her, for the first time. Over voicemail. Or more accurately, he told Tana he loved Cedes. Now his conversation with Mason made more sense. Apparently, he had been declaring his love for Cedes to everyone but the one person who needed to her it the most.

"So, were you telling the truth?" Tana asked.

Sam was quiet for a moment, taking stock of the state of his heart. Then thinking about her kissing Will only minutes earlier, which made his stomach turn. "It's the damn truth. Unfortunately."

"Look, it's none of my business, but Cedes paid me a visit," Tana said.

"Cedes came to see you?"

"She did. And I'm not breaking any confidences here, so I can tell you this. She was pretty upset, Sam. About a lot of things, including that photo, which, by the way, is total bullshit."

Sam clenched his hands on the steering wheel. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Tana."

She sighed exasperated. "You're blond but not a dumb guy, Sam, but sometimes you're act like you are as thick as a brick."

"And I think the world of you, too, sunshine, but you are getting on my last nerve."

"Nothing happened with Cedes and Will, which I am sure you know deep down. So, I don't get why you're choosing to be upset about it. I mean, you of all people should know precisely who Will Schuester is . . . with your dad and everything."

His anger rose again as he thought about Cedes kissing Will in the studio. Ugh. He hated feeling this way.

"Cedes told me what happened at Coachella. Will was drunk or high, who knows these days. She'd had a pot brownie for the first time in her life and started thinking about her grandma. Tours are hard and take every last ounce of emotional energy you've got. She had a weak moment, and Will capitalized on that. He must have been keeping his eye on her, the creep and waiting for a moment to ponce. She never told me anything, but apparently Kurt picked up on his lecherous attentions towards her." Tana said.

"Wait, what?" Did Cedes really not want to be with Will? He surely hadn't misinterpreted what had happened in the recording studio this afternoon, regardless of Coachella.

"She was trying to keep things friendly with Will, which we both know is an important business move, so she put up with him. She shared with him why she was upset, and about her grandma's passing, and he took advantage of that. She did nothing wrong, Sam."

"Shit. Shit. Shit," Sam said, slamming his hand against the steering wheel. All of a sudden, he knew the truth. It had been right in front of him all along, but he'd been too stubborn and self-absorbed to see it. Cedes wasn't kissing Will back; he had attacked her. She didn't have feelings for Will. Cedes had been treading water so as not to disrupt the ever-important relationship she tihought they needed to have with Will.

Tana paused. "Kurt even sewed Cedes a blade in her costumes on tour, so if Will ever got too close, she had protection. She was never into that disgusting and abusive pig. Do you finally comprehende now, Sam?"

"Yes, I understand completely." Sam said, remorse heavy in his voice. "And as we both know, I'm a thick as a brick when I am in my emotions."

"As your lifelong amiga, who knows you're not the kind of guy who flies off the handle about a stupid photo, accusing people of things you know can't be true, and then gets wasted to numb it all, I will give you a piece of advice: you need to get your head screwed on right. Or you're going to ruin both your careers. And even worse, you could lose the love of your life forever."

Sam tried calling Cedes the second he'd hung up with Tana, but it went straight to voicemail. He felt sick about what had happened in the recording studio, and hoped she was okay. But he had also just arrived at the Evans estate and was panic-stricken about whatever emergency was going on there. Sam grabbed McConaughey and sprinted up the front steps, two at a time. He pushed open the door, afraid of what he was going to find. The memory of seeing his mom in the hospital, frail under the harsh ER lights, ran through his mind. His throat closed and he struggled to get enough air in.

"Stacie! Daddy! Millie! Where are you?" The house was quiet—too quiet. He ran into the great room, where the Christmas tree stood decorated, and found Dwight on the couch, looking perfectly well. His dad had reading glasses perched on the end of his nose, a notebook on his lap. Dwight looked over his glasses as Sam burst into the room, surprise registering on his face.

"Sammy! What are you doing back here?"

"What's going on?" Breathless, Sam bent over to put hands on his knees after he let McConaughey down. The dog trotted to the couch and pawed at Dwight's leg.

"Hey there, boy." Dwight reached down to pick him up.

"Where's Stacie? Her call was cut out. Is it the baby?"

Dwight put his pencil into his notebook's spine. "Last time I checked she was perfectly fine, the baby, too. But shouldn't you be in the studio with Miss Cedes? Are you okay?"

"Clearly not." Sam ran a hand through his hair. Waiting for his racing heart to slow.

Just then Stacie came into the room. "Oh, hey, Sam. Aren't you supposed to be at the studio?"

Sam let out a strangled groan. "Yes, Stacie. I am supposed to be at the studio. But I am here. Trying to reverse my heart attack, because you told me to hurry home!"

Stacie gave him a blank look and then slapped a hand to her forehead. "Oh! I was out for a walk, and it was pretty windy and the call dropped. Sorry."

"Stace, got damn it! You told me to hurry home."

Stacie shrugged. "I guess with the whole wind thing you didn't hear. Anyway, no, what I said was something like, 'I don't know if I can keep Dad from eating all the cinnamon rolls, so you'd better hurry home after you finish up with Cedes.' "

She held up the plate in her hand. He stared at the gooey icing dripping down the side of the half-eaten pastry.

"You called me about cinnamon rolls?" Sam's mouth was agape.

"I have to say, they are almost worth moving back home for."

Sam sat heavily in the chair closest to him, putting a hand to his chest. "Do you have any idea how much I have going on right now? Any idea how many times I almost crashed, trying to get home as fast as possible?"

"Again, sorry. Good news is there are still a few left, if you hurry." She took a huge bite of the dessert.

Sam was about to berate his sister again for scaring him half to death when he heard a voice in the hallway.

He twisted in his chair to see his manager walking into the great room, barefoot and with a large red purse over her shoulder.

"April, honey, you know you don't have to take your shoes off in this house." Dwight gave her a kiss on the cheek. "But it's nice to see you, sweetheart."

"You, too, Dwight." April smiled warmly at Sam's father. "And you know my father would have had my hide if I wore shoes in the house. Old habits." She shrugged, then hugged Stacie. But when she turned to Sam she did not have the same warm expression for him. She looked like she had a burr in her saddle, as Dwight would say.

"This sure as heck does not look like a recording studio, where you assured me you would be today."

"Yeah, so about that . . ." Sam stood, but April interrupted him.

"Look here, Sam. I am busier than the proverbial bee, so I don't have time for your bullshit." April pointed a finger at Sam, and he looked to Stacie and his dad, who both suddenly seemed occupied by other things.

"I have a meeting to get back to, so let me be clear. You signed a contract. And this is not only about you now, you hear me? I've known you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, and I know you are not the sort to walk away when the going gets real tough. That is not the Evans way."

But wasn't it precisely the Evans way? He had been walking away when the going got tough for the better part of the past twelve months. Sam tried again to explain what had happened at the studio, but April was having none of it.

"I have two things to discuss with you, Sam. One, take a minute and get yourself sorted before you come back to the studio; you can deal with the personal stuff later, but right now your focus needs to be on the work. Will is insinuating that Jesse St. James is ready to go if the two of you can't figure this shit out." April raised her eyebrows. "And none of us want to see Jesse St. James taking your place, do we?"

Sam pressed his lips together, knowing what it would mean if that happened—that he had failed everyone. Along with everything else, he didn't want to be responsible for voiding Cedes' contract along with his own.

"Good. We're on the same page, then," April said. "After tomorrow night's performance you are done with America's Newest Star and I promise you, we'll figure out what's next for Sam Evans, alright? Secondly, Cedes fired Will. I just talked with Lauren."

Sam's mouth fell open.

"Apparently Mr. Slimy Ass Schuester felt he was entitled to get more than a great song from Cedes, if you catch what I'm saying."

"Is she alright?" He started to pace, clenching and unclenching his fists. "That lowdown bastard. If I ever see him again, I'm gonna knock out his teeth and then beat the shit out of him."

"Sam, take a deep breath," April started, putting a hand on his arm. "There will be time to deal with all that piece of excrement later, but right now the only job you have—the only thing you have to do—is get that song finished with Cedes."

Sam took a deep breath in through his nose, remembering Mason's advice. He then let it out slowly repeated doing this three more times and nodded.

After April left, Sam went back to pacing trying to pull it together like he said he would, without much success.

"Sammy, stop. I'm sure Cedes is fine."

"I left her there, Stace. I left her. I thought she was kissing him back! I'm a damn idiot. I could have rescued her from assault but instead thought she wanted him. I wouldn't be surprised if she never speaks to me again."

Stace let him pace a few moments longer before she asked, "How did it not occur to you that maybe Will was being predatory?"

"Did I mention I'm an idiot who according to one of my friends that is thick as a brick?" Sam sighed, hating himself. "I know his reputation, Stace, obviously. But with that photo, then seeing them like that, well, the pieces fit together."

"Look, it's not entirely your fault. There are some things you don't know about Will, and I should have told you this years ago." Stacie held Sam's gaze. "Remember when Dad fired him, in the middle of his tour?"

"Yeah." Sam glanced at Dwight, who couldn't look him in the eye.

"Do you know why Dad fired him?"

Sam shook his head.

"He fired Will because he caught him giving me shots and getting a little too close. I was fifteen. I thought I was so mature, and, I'll admit it, I liked his attention. At first." Stacie gave a sad smile.

"But then Will tried to kiss me, and I didn't know what to do. Dad walked in, and, well, let's just say Will was lucky to get out of there in one piece."

"Why is this the first time I'm hearing this?" Sam's hands curled into fists of rage.

He remembered that night well. He and his mother had been backstage watching Dwight on a monitor. Stacie had said she was going to the washroom. And all seventeen-year-old Sam had been thinking about was going on a date with his latest crush once his dad's set was finished.

"I'm so sorry, Stace," Sam said. "I'm sorry to know that you went through that." This explained why Will hated Sam. He thought Sam knew about him trying to sexually assault his sister a fifteen year old when he was twice her age.

Stacie gave him a hug, and he held her tight. "I'm okay, Sam. And I think Cedes will be, too."

"Dad, I hope you hit his slimy ass hard."

Dwight nodded his confirmation.

"I wish I could do something now, to give him exactly what he deserves," Sam said.

"Oh, don't you worry about that," Stacie replied. "I've taken care of it."

Sam glanced at Stacie, then at Dwight, who now sported a Cheshire cat grin. "How?"

"Let's just say my story about that night on Dad's tour was of great interest to a certain journalist who is doing a gig at TMZ. The story along with many others is set to run right after Christmas, and Will won't be able to slither away this time."

"He's finished," Dwight added, giving Sam a serious look. "Mark my words, son."

Sam tried Cedes again, but again it went to voicemail. He hadn't left a message because he wasn't sure what to say. I'm so sorry seemed too little, too late. So, he was getting ready to head back to the studio when Dwight knocked on his bedroom door. "I thought you might want to talk about Cedes."

"I'm glad you helped out with the Will thing, and I appreciate the effort here, but we don't do this, okay? I don't expect fatherly advice from you. Nor do I need it."

"I'd say you sure as hell do," Dwight replied with a hoot of laughter.

"As if I'd take relationship advice from my adulterous father who couldn't keep his own dick in his pants," Sam said, almost instantly regretting it.

"When it comes to my relationship with your mother, you don't know what the hell you're talking about, son."

"Oh, I don't? I was here, Dad. After Stacie left, it was just me and the two of you. I saw everything. I heard everything."

"You're barking up the wrong tree, Samuel. That's always been your greatest downfall believing too much in your own bullshit."

Sam gave a sharp laugh. "You really are unbelievable, you know that?"

"I've never said anything to you about this because I wasn't sure how to say anything that you wouldn't bite my head off for. I know you have this idea that I destroyed my marriage. That I made your mother unhappy and was responsible for how things turned out. But you couldn't be more wrong."

Sam sighed wearily. "Fine. I'm wrong. Can I go now?"

"Please, Sam. I know you need to get to the studio, so I'll make it brief. But there are some things you need to know." Dwight gestured to the chair nearest to him.

Sam glanced at his watch, but sat down. "You have five minutes."

"Mary Ellen was my best friend. The love of my life. Damn, I would do anything for that woman."

"You sure had a weird way of showing it."

Dwight ignored his son's jab. "I'm not innocent, and Lord knows I've made mistakes. But your mother was my best friend. And I miss her every day. Truth is, we fell out of love somewhere between the first day we met, and the day she died, but it wasn't some 'big thing' that happened between us. And you should know, it was your momma who wanted out of the marriage. She was brave enough to admit it wasn't working long before I did."

Sam looked up at his dad then.

"Good Lord, she was smart, Sam. Like, MENSA level brilliance. And that voice was like warm honey on a hot summer's day. It reminds me a lot of your Cedes."

She could have been mine, Sam thought, if I hadn't blown it by being an idiot.

"Your momma and I loved each other, son, but we were no longer in love with one another. But, bless her, she stuck around. She chose this family, and our history, over getting a divorce and her freedom. Raised you kids. Supported me the way she always had, with so much love in her heart. But in those last few years we led different lives in an open marriage. The both of us."

At that Sam frowned at his father. "You're lying."

"I swear to you, it's the truth. Mary Ellen and I had a partnership for music and our family, but she was as free as I was to explore other options, if you know what I mean."

"You really are something." Sam shook his head. "Why would you make this up now? For what purpose? You destroyed Mom, Dad. You took her career from her, then kept all the spotlight for yourself, then shit on your vows by flaunting all those other women on your tours. I saw you. I heard things."

"I sure did all of that, Sammy, and I am not proud. But it was nothing she didn't know about and encourage. She was dating a woman who you know and love. Shannon Beiste," Dwight replied. "There was no animosity between me and your mother, never was. She find out she liked women, and we didn't want the tabloids to castigate her. So we kept up the marriage to hide it from the world. I would do anything for her and keeping her secret was paramount. Like I said, we were best friends. Right up to the end."

Sam stared at his father. A wave of sadness engulfed him, hearing all of this about his mom. He desperately wanted to believe his mother had been happy, doing precisely what she wanted to with her one precious life. He would have never suspected her of cheating with Shannon. But he did remember Shannon taking her everywhere. The two of them going on trips. The way Shannon looked at his mother. Aw hell he really was thick as a brick.

"I told you that your Cedes reminds me of Mary Ellen. Not out of looks or attitude but because when I see you two together, I also see a lot of me in you, Sam."

"That is not the compliment you think it is, Dad."

Dwight chuckled. "Son, you work so hard to prove to the world you're nothing like your old man, but you truly aren't anything like me, outside of how we look. So, you don't have to work so hard. You never were like me you are your mother's son. You're so much better than I ever was, Samuel. But the way you look at Cedes is the same way I used to look at your mama when I had fallen head over heels in love with her."

Sam's breath caught as he worked to hold himself together.

"Now, here comes the advice. Take it or leave it, but I'm gonna give it," Dwight said. "You can love someone who isn't perfect and be deeply loved despite your own imperfections. You and Cedes may not always go together like biscuits and gravy, but that doesn't mean y'all don't have something worth fighting for."

Sam sighed deeply. "What am I supposed to do? I don't know how to fix this, Dad. I should have believed her and rescued her from Will. Instead I fell for his lies and his attempts to break us up. It was all orchestrated me arriving at the exact moment to see him kissing her every damn thing and I fell for it. I didn't trust her when it was most important. It's too late."

"Ah, it's never too late, Sammy. All you gotta do is write her the best darn love song you can and mean every word and treat her with the respect and trust that you both have learned to give each other."

Dwight handed Sam his notebook and pencil. "I know you need to get back to the studio, but why not sit here and write down what you're feeling, son?"

After his dad left, Sam put the notebook to the side and pulled out his phone. First, he texted April, saying he was heading back to the studio shortly, and that she could count on him to see this through. Then he scrolled back through April's many texts until he got to the video she had sent a few weeks before while he was at the cabin. Of Cedes and Sam performing "All I Want for Christmas." He pressed play. And then he began to write everything that was in his heart. In thirty minutes, he had finished and was going to the studio to record it for his love.