Prompt from Michael JG Meathook: Deer Stalker.
I'm afraid I misread it, then thought it was funnier that way so stuck with my misreading. Hope you aren't disappointed!
Dear Stalker,
I am aware you have been following me to and from the railway station on my bicycle each week. I have left this letter under a stone near the road for you - if this letter is being read by any other, please put it back under the stone for its intended recipient.
Stalker, I do not know your name or intentions, but your behaviour disturbs me. I wish only to ride in peace, without your presence shadowing me. Whatever your purpose for doing so, I am sure it will come to no good. I have little money, and am already engaged. Even if I was not, I would not wish any relationship with one who stalks young women.
I am writing to advise you of my intentions to engage a detective by the name of Sherlock Holmes to investigate my case. Perhaps you have heard of him. In the case you have not, he is quite famous for his skills, and if you do not desist, he will find out who you are and why you are doing this. If you do not wish this to happen, cease your stalking.
I will not write again.
Cordially yours,
Miss Violet Smith