After he bandaged the wound, Anakin went back into his room. technically, it was dinner time, so he dropped into Ahsokas room, on his way back.
"Hey, You want anything for dinner?" he asked, focusing on the sting of his arm. Obi Wan normally cooked for them.
"No, not hungry." Ahsoka said, continuing to look at her data tablet.
"Alright, come get me if you need anything." Anakin walked back into his room. the pain of his arm was dying down, and he really didn't wish to have to deal with the emotional pain that was getting worse by the minute. Anakin sat down, unwrapping the bandaging. he stared transfixed at the cut. it had a bit of bacta that he put there, but now he wasn't so sure he wanted it to heal. Anakin sighed, laying down. he knew he wasn't going to sleep, so why try? maybe he was waiting for Ahsoka to fall asleep. that was, if she ever did.
Anakin layied curled up in a fatal position trying not to lose his sanity and do something stupid when Ahsoka fell asleep. desperate, he crept into the bathroom as quietly as he could.
he needed the pain to stop. even if just for a moment
Anakin first thought of using scissors, but they wernt sharp enough. he then thought he'd use a knife- but that was too obious. he needed something that was small and carryable.
When Anakin next checked the time, it was morning. he'd spent most the night after Ahsoka had fallen asleep installing a small pop-out Blade into his mechanical arm. then he'd spent the next hour or so slicing open his skin. it was only now that he looked up to find it was mid-morning. His head spun from blood loss as he got up. he pressed his head into the cool walls, and after a Moment, washed his hands and arm off.
his arm stung, but it was better that the emotional pain that seemed to consume him. he decided with how much blood he lost, it might not be a good idea to spar. instead, he opted to go work on his starfighter...
yes, cutting had to be that answer to his pain.
it just had to be.