No. 9 – Rumors Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Presumed dead | (blind) rage | tears
Luke slashed at two pirates in front of his envirosuit crinkling around him. "Do it!"
The ship crew member pushed the button that activated the preplanned blast. The side of the ship ripped open. The vacuum of space sucked the pirates out.
A light flashed in Luke's helmet. "Magnaclamps failing," an automatic voice said.
"Uh-oh." Luke's feet lifted off the floor. Within seconds, he was out in space.
"Knight Skywalker!" the lieutenant's voice came over the comm. "Are you okay?"
The pirate ship blasted the side of the cargo ship Luke had been hitching a ride home on after his mission. An explosion ripped through the ship. The cargo ship pulled away.
"Hey! Hey!" Luke called. Was anyone still keyed into his comm frequency? Did they realize he hadn't died in the explosion?
The cargo ship leaped into hyperspace. After about a minute, the pirate ship leapt into hyperspace as well.
Luke swallowed. He was drifting in space. His ship was gone. A planet loomed in the distance, but that did nothing for him without a ship to protect him. He only had a few hours of oxygen left.
He forced his breathing to stay steady. Dad said that as long as you were alive, you could survive. As long as Luke was still breathing, he had hope of survival.
He closed his eyes. A hibernation trance was his only chance of surviving long enough for someone to pass by and find him.
"Hello? Can you hear me? Are you still alive?" a strange voice asked.
Heaviness, cold weighed down on Luke. His chest burned. He could barely wake up, only enough to mumble a reply. "I'm here."
Bacta stained his tongue. He dragged his eyes open. A 2-1B medical droid hovered above him.
Luke groaned. "What happened?" His body pounded with pain.
"A cargo hauler brought you in from where they found you drifting in space," the droid said. "Once you fully recover, a transport will take you back to your temple."
Luke sighed. At least wherever he was would honor the law promising free public transport to all Jedi. "Okay. Thank you." He grimaced. He would be tasting bacta for a week after this.
"Here you are," the bus pilot said. "Home sweet home."
Luke nodded. "Thank you." He hopped off the bus and watched as it sped away.
He wandered through the halls. They were strangely empty. The Council chambers were abandoned. One of the windows had a large crack through it.
A cleaning droid spun into the room. "Oh my!"
"Where is everyone?" Luke asked. "Have you seen my father? I can't find him." Dad had to be so worried with how late he was.
"He's…he's in the Memorial Hall," the droid said.
Why was Dad at the funeral spot? Had someone died? "Thank you." Luke made his way down to the funeral hall. Several Jedi walked by, staring when they caught sight of him.
He ducked his head and pulled his hood up. He slipped into the funeral hall and froze.
A massive crowd had gathered. A podium had been set up at one side. Eulogies weren't common at Jedi funerals, but not unheard of. But worst was who was at the podium—Uncle Obi-Wan, bent over, crying. Crying. Uncle Obi-Wan was crying.
Uncle Obi-Wan walked away from the podium, shaking his head.
Threepio stepped forward and seized Luke's arm. "You must be the fill-in for the next eulogy."
"No, wait!" Luke protested, but too late. Threepio dragged him to the podium. He grabbed it, his mouth growing dry. The crowd's eyes latched onto him.
He gulped. Dad was supposed to be in here. Maybe he could rescue him.
Dad sat in the front row, almost white. His face was hanging and obviously tear stained. He had an arm wrapped around Mom, who had her face buried in Dad's shoulder. She wasn't wearing an elaborate outfit and her hair wasn't even up. Whoever died must have destroyed her. Han cradled Leia in a similar fashion. Mara—oh, poor Mara. Luke's beautiful fiancée was completely destroyed. She couldn't even sit up, she was sobbing so hard. Luke's other siblings were in various states of distress.
Whoever died must have been very loved by the family. And they were so distraught he probably wouldn't be able to catch their attention and extricate himself from giving a eulogy for this unknown person.
No matter. Mom had told him if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, say they're "interesting," "memorable," or "unique." Those words were honest but neither insulting or flattering. He'd watched plenty of her speeches. He could pull this off.
"The deceased we are remembering today will always be in our hearts. Such a unique person will always be missed by those that the deceased left behind. The…the deceased led an interesting life that will be remembered by all those that loved…the person.
"We can all agree that the deceased we are honoring here is a very memorable person," Luke said. "The deceased will be remembered for the contributions to the galaxy he—or she—or it! If the deceased was a Hutt or similar hermaphroditical species. I suppose we'll never know." He cringed. Undoubtedly his family knew the gender of the deceased. He shot a desperate glance at his dad. His head was still hanging. If he just looked up, Luke could make eye contact and silently beg for help.
He took a deep breath. "The deceased was a very unique person with a very unique life. I knew him…probably." If his entire family knew him, then Luke had to know him too. But who could it be?
Yoda? Had Master Yoda finally died of old age? No, no, there he was in the back in his hover chair. Besides, Mom didn't know Master Yoda well enough to be that upset at his death.
"This…Jedi—" It had to be a Jedi, otherwise the funeral wouldn't be in the Temple, "was a great…um…Padawan…at the time when the deceased was a padawan…and his master will never forget how it was like to teach…him…" Sweat trailed down Luke's neck. Why had Threepio thought he should give a eulogy?
Dad sobbed audibly. He squeezed Mom tight, burying his face in her hair.
Oh, dear. More sweat beaded on Luke's neck. He pushed his hood back. He needed fresh air.
A gasp went up through the gathered crowd. Luke smiled awkwardly. He wasn't supposed to be up here, he wasn't in the program, and now they all knew.
"The deceased was…very loved by all…" Luke hid his shaking hands behind the podium. Auntsoka and Lux and their three kids were in the audience, along with Aunt Siri, Qui-Gon, and Satine. Ezra and Caleb, Master Windu, Galen, Corran, Master Ferus, Uncle Tru… Everyone he knew was here. He couldn't think of a single person that everyone in the crowd knew that wasn't here. "You know what, I have to admit, I have no idea who's dead. I'm not supposed to be up here, Threepio made a mistake, can someone please tell me what's going on because I'm trying not to freak out right now."
Dad glanced up and froze, going even paler, as if he'd seen a ghost.
"Dad, help me!" Luke begged. "What is going on?"
Mom, Leia, and Mara all looked up and froze. Jinn's mouth dropped open. Han rubbed a hand over his mouth in that way he did when he was trying to smother a laugh.
Dad bolted up and scooped Luke up in a tight hug. "You're alive!"
"I know?" Luke's feet dangled off the ground. He patted Dad's back as best he could with the too-tight hug. "Dad, I can't breathe."
Dad dropped him like a hot coal. "Sorry. Sorry, sorry." He placed his hands on Luke's shoulders. "How are you alive?"
"I don't know. Why wouldn't I be alive? What's going on?" Luke had never seen Dad cry like that before. Something was off. There was something very big Luke was missing.
"My baby!" Mom cried. She ran up and hugged Luke.
Before Luke knew it, he was the center of a massive group hug. Dad had rejoined with his too-tight hug, letting out a couple of sobs along the way.
"What is happening?" Luke demanded.
"You just gave a eulogy at your own funeral, kid," Han said.
"…Oh."