The next day, they were sitting on the sofa watching a kids' show on TV and trying to forget the previous night's embarrassing events.
Ozzy had his head on Thrax's shoulder and was drawing slow circles on his thigh with his finger while he drank a Capri Sun. Thrax was staring at the TV aghast, not quite understanding what was unfolding before his eyes.
"Oz, remind me again why we're watching this? It's the freakiest shit I've ever seen. Why does that vacuum cleaner have eyes and keep terrorising the aliens?"
"That's Noo-Noo, he thinks he's helping them, and we're watching this because there's nothin' else on."
"Okay, but when are the purple alien and the green alien gonna start fucking? There's obviously some sexual tension there."
"They aren't! It's a little kids' show!" Ozzy said, laughing and prodding him in the face.
"What?! So you're trying to tell me that I've spent the last twenty minutes watching these freaks roll around in the grass and eat toast and there isn't even a sex scene to look forward to? Where's the action, where's the excitement?!"
"Well... Dipsy lost his hat earlier, and you gotta admit that it was pretty intense."
Thrax growled and threw his arms in the air. "That's it! I can't live like this anymore! I need dirty movies and alcohol! I'm sick of all the saccharine shit on the TV, I'm sick of drinking juice whenever we go out to bars, and I'm sick of having to spend a fortune just to get a cup of coffee!"
Ozzy blinked at him and swallowed. "Are you sayin' you don't wanna live here anymore?"
Thrax's face softened as he let out a small sigh. "No, baby." He pulled Ozzy to lean against his shoulder again. "But would you mind if I left for a few days to get some stuff from other bodies? I'll be back before you know it."
"No way! Fuck that! What if something happens to you and I'm left here all alone? That's bullshit, if you're leaving, then I'm coming with you." He sat up to face him and grabbed his shoulders. "We're partners in crime, right? I look out for you, and you look out for me", he said forcefully.
Thrax grinned and nodded. "That's right, baby." He cupped Ozzy's cheeks and pulled him into a kiss, before explaining his plan, "okay, I was thinking that we could wait until Lola is having dinner with her parents and then fly into her dad. He drinks like a fish, so it'd be easy to find some alcohol and then skedaddle."
"Okay, sounds like a plan to me, Daddy-T. Let's get dressed and head up to the mouth." He got up from the sofa, but Thrax grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to whisper in his ear.
"Ozzy baby, I think it's time you wore that purple outfit I bought for you. We may need to use you as the 'distraction'."
They were in the uvula, waiting for Lola to open her mouth to be able to fly out. Ozzy was wearing a purple, sleeveless crop top that barely came down past his chest and a pair of short shorts of the same colour. Thrax had put the hypothalamus chain around his neck and tied it round twice to make it look like a choker.
Ozzy was leaning against a wall and watching as Thrax paced back and forth. "Hmm-mm, I always forget how sexy you look in your cloak, it gives you proper Big Daddy vibes."
Thrax stopped pacing, and Ozzy thought he could see the faintest hint of a blush forming on his cheeks. "Baby, don't call me Big Daddy while you're wearing that outfit unless we're in a place where I can fuck you senseless, it just ain't right to do that to me."
Ozzy smirked and leaned his head against the wall. "Well, there's no one else here right now, Big Daddy." He arched his back and stretched his arms in the air, showing off his midriff and making the shorts he was wearing ride up even further.
Thrax walked up to him with a grin, pressed his body against his and pinned his arms to the wall above his head with one hand. "Ohh you're asking for it. Once we get our alcohol and get back to this body, I'm really gonna let you have it."
"Is that a promise or a threat?", Ozzy whispered and leaned up to kiss him, but Thrax grabbed his chin and tilted his head back to bite him on the neck. He sucked on his skin and made sure to leave a bruise.
"I'll let you be the judge of that." He let go of his wrists and stepped back. "Come on, she's opening her mouth, grab onto me, Ozzy."
They landed in Lola's dad's mouth and glided down his throat.
Ozzy widened his eyes. "Eugh, I forgot how badly middle aged men's bodies smell. This is so rank!", before shoving his face into Thrax sweater.
"Don't worry, we won't be here long", Thrax replied, as he swivelled his head around. "I can see a club over there. We'll sneak round the back and nab some of the alcohol from the truck."
They landed in a narrow alleyway near the club and went over their plan again. They gave each other a hug and a kiss before sneaking around the corner.
Thrax hid behind some bins just outside the alleyway and kept watch, waiting for the perfect moment, while Ozzy crept down the side street behind the club.
He saw two men unloading crates of different types of alcohol from a truck, just as Thrax had predicted. He straightened himself and cleared his throat, before walking towards the men.
He walked slowly and confidently, swaying his hips and sticking out his chest, and started sucking on a red lollipop.
One of the men noticed him and his jaw dropped. Ozzy laughed quietly to himself, heh, I've still got it.
The delivery man patted the other one on the shoulder to get him to look at Ozzy, while whispering something in his ear. They both gawked at Ozzy as he approached, before remembering themselves and standing up as tall as they could. One of them started straightening out his clothes, while the other one slicked his hair back.
"W-what can we do for you, doll?"
Doll? Eugh! Ozzy thought, trying not to let his disgust show on his face.
He said nothing and simply took their hands, walking through the middle of them to make them turn around and face away from the lorry. He looked behind them and subtly nodded at Thrax, before flicking his eyes up at the man on the left.
He pulled the lolly out of his mouth with a pop and said, "I'm a little lonely, I don't know if either of you two know where I can find some friends?"
Both of the men nodded and Ozzy stroked one of their arms as he stared up at them through hooded lids, slowly licking the lollipop.
He glanced behind them to see Thrax carrying three crates of alcohol away. That won't be enough, let's see how long I can keep them distracted.
The man on the right went to turn his head to see what Ozzy was looking at, so Ozzy grabbed his arm and pulled him towards him. He threw his arms around his neck, pressed their bodies together and whispered in his ear, "how about we go inside?"
They nodded, so he took both of their hands and pulled them inside the empty club. He dragged them over to a booth and shoved them down, before sitting on one of their laps and stroking the other one's hair.
One of them grabbed his butt and leaned in to kiss him, but Ozzy turned his head to the side and started babbling to buy some more time, "I've always thought that there was somethin' so sexy about delivery guys, maybe it's because my dad was a delivery guy, I dunno, that's pretty fucked up, right? Maybe it's because you're so strong and manly, who knows, but anyway, what're your names? Have you read The Philosopher's Stone?"
One of them put their hand over Ozzy's mouth and shushed him, before saying, "doll, did you bring us in here to fuck us or to talk our ears off?" He shoved him onto the table and leaned over him, pinning his hands on either side of his head, while the other one tried to get his shorts down over his hips.
Ozzy yelled and kicked his leg up, hitting him in the throat, and then bit down on the other man's arm. He punched the man who was on top of him in the face and wiggled out from under him.
"You're nothing but a fucking whore!", one of them yelled up at him, while holding his hands over his face.
Ozzy turned around and spat over both of them, before yelling, "you wish! That's the only way either of you would ever have a chance with me!", as he sprinted out of the club, adding "not that you could afford me!"
He grabbed another crate of alcohol and ran over to where Thrax was waiting for him. "Go go go go", he said under his breath and they carried everything a few blocks away. Ozzy looked behind him to make sure the two men weren't following them before they darted into an alleyway to catch their breath.
"Well done, baby. They didn't touch you, did they?" Ozzy shook his head, not wanting to upset Thrax, and slid down the wall. He opened a crate and started putting all the bottles into their duffle bags.
They had almost filled all the bags when they heard a shout. "Hey, come here, you little fucking whore!"
"Shit", Ozzy hissed as he stood back up. The two men ran into the alleyway and cornered Ozzy, too blinded by rage to notice Thrax standing behind them.
"You stupid little slut", one of them shouted in his face, shoving him into the wall and raising his hand to hit him.
"What did you fucking call him?!", Thrax yelled, slamming him against the wall. He lifted him into the air and put his glowing claw up to his face.
The other man tried to run away, but Ozzy tackled him to the ground and forced his head onto the floor. He straddled him and pressed his knees onto his arms, holding him in place.
"Apologise to him, now!", Thrax barked in the man's face as he tightened his grip around his throat.
"I-I'm sorry, we're sorry", both of them started babbling, as tears streamed down their faces, "please don't hurt us!"
Thrax and Ozzy looked round and blew each other a kiss, before turning back to face the men again.
Ozzy slapped the man round the back of the head and jammed his elbow into his back, grinning as he did so. "Where's your car? Take us to your car and we'll let you go."
Ozzy jumped into the driver's seat and waved at Thrax to come join him. Thrax finished tying the men up and kicked one of them in the shin for good measure.
"Now you two are gonna sit here and think about what you did. You should be fucking grateful that my baby even looked at either of you. Also, don't go around calling people sluts and whores, that shit's fucking disrespectful."
He stood up and strolled over to the car. He winked at Ozzy as he opened the door for him and slid inside the car.
"Hit it, baby."
Ozzy slammed his foot down on the pedal and drove away at full speed.
"Aaaaah I've missed drivin'! You're gonna see how a true professional handles a car!" He swerved violently around a truck and honked his horn at an old lady crossing the street. "Hey, get out of the way, you moron!"
Thrax held onto the sides of his seat and turned his head to stare at Ozzy. "Baby, are you sure you don't want me to drive?"
Ozzy shook his head and swerved around another pedestrian. "Nah, you're alright, you drive way too slow. No offence, but it's like drivin' with my grandpa… oh shit wrong turn!" He did a U-turn in the middle of the road and narrowly missed getting rammed by a huge truck. "Fuck me, that was close! Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who actually knows how to drive."
Thrax looked up at the ceiling and started praying under his breath. He wasn't a religious virus, but for once in his life he was genuinely frightened, and felt the need to believe that someone was up there looking out for him.
They reached the throat and Ozzy jumped out of the car. Thrax stepped out and exhaled deeply, thanking his lucky stars that he was somehow still alive. Ozzy grabbed Thrax's shaking hand and pulled him over to the back of the throat.
Thrax composed himself, lit up his claw and scratched all the way across, making the dad cough. Ozzy put all the bags around his torso and wrapped his arms and legs around Thrax's middle, before they both glided out and went back into Lola.
Once they got back home, they unloaded all the alcohol onto the shelves and Ozzy took two glasses out of the cupboard. He poured some red wine into both of them, sat down at the table and held his glass in the air.
"To Thrax, my partner in crime, el amor de mi vida. Thanks for makin' my life so crazy and for always havin' my back."
Thrax lifted his glass. "To Ozzy, the sexiest little criminal I've ever met. Thanks for being exquisite." They clinked their glasses and downed it all in one, before slamming the glasses back down on the counter.
"Fuuuck, I needed that. I feel like myself again", Thrax said breathily, slowly tilting his head back and letting his arms fall to his sides.
Ozzy stared up at Thrax with wide eyes, watching as his cloak slid off his shoulders and fell down the back of the chair behind him, how his shirt tightened around his chest as he arched his body upwards slightly. His braids were gently trailing over his shoulders as he cricked his neck from side to side, and he let a sigh leave his lips as he turned his head to look at Ozzy through heavy-lidded eyes.
Ozzy felt the heat surge through him and he shifted in his seat. God, does he do this on purpose?!
He bit his lip and slipped out of his chair to go sit on Thrax's lap. He pressed his lips to his neck and left long, slow kisses along his skin as he pulled his head back by his braids.
He shuddered when he heard a groan deep in Thrax's throat and felt his cock hardening beneath him. He swung his legs around his hips to straddle him and slipped his crop top over his head, chucking it to the floor.
Thrax ran his claws over his back, sighing as he felt Ozzy put his hands up his shirt and lightly trace his fingers over his chest. Thrax rolled his gaze downwards; Ozzy's shorts had ridden up even further, leaving a tantalising amount of bare skin exposed. He traced the edge of his shorts with his claws as he pulled Ozzy into a kiss.
Ozzy broke away and brushed his lips against Thrax's, whispering, "Big...Daddy...Thrax..."
"Right, you've done it now...", Thrax said as he dug his claws into Ozzy's thighs. He threw him down on the table behind him and tore his shorts off, a feral glint in his eyes.
He slid the hypothalamus chain from around Ozzy's neck and tied it around both of his wrists, holding them above his head with one hand as he undid his belt. Ozzy heard his trousers hit the floor, and gasped as Thrax clamped his palm over his mouth.
"Don't be afraid, baby, just hold on until it's over."
Later that week, Thrax was sitting in the garden reading a book. Ozzy peered out of the front door and sauntered over to him.
"Whatcha doin'?", he asked sweetly. Thrax looked up from his book and uncrossed his legs so Ozzy could sit on his lap.
"What do you want, Oz? That's the voice you put on when you want something."
Ozzy put his arms around his neck and smiled at him. "Well… remember when you promised we could get a dog?" Thrax nodded and lowered his reading glasses.
Ozzy grinned and narrowed his eyes. "Weeeell… no wait, it's better if I show ya, hold on a second." He leapt off his lap and darted back into the house, before coming out with a small dog cell in his hands that was licking all over his face and wagging its tail.
She was a chocolate brown colour with white spots and two little black dots above her eyes.
"Ain't she the cutest? Can we keep her, Thrax, please? I found her in the street just now. She doesn't have a collar and looks like she hasn't eaten anything in a while."
Thrax stared at the dog with wide eyes and then looked up at Ozzy. "Baby, I'm not sure… we don't know if she's carrying any diseases, and what if she's a mutated cell?"
Ozzy wasn't listening to him, he was too distracted by the dog licking his cheek.
"Oh, you're such a baby, yes you are !", he cooed at her, lifting her in the air. He plonked himself on Thrax's lap again and put the dog in his face to make her lick him.
"Look how much she loves her daddy Thrax!"
Thrax spluttered, before looking up at both of them. The look in their eyes would be enough to melt anyone's heart, and Thrax just didn't have it in him to say no. He laughed and stroked the dog on the head. "Okay, if you wanna keep her, baby, then we'll keep her. She is pretty cute, you suit each other. You gotta walk her and take care of all her business, though."
Ozzy grinned from ear to ear and held her up in front of his face. "See, baby, I told you he'd let you stay!" He put her on his lap and stroked her head. "What d'ya think we should call her?"
Thrax pondered for a moment, before grinning and prodding Ozzy on the shoulder. "How about 'Donut'?"
"Oh my Dog, that's PERFECT!", Ozzy yelled, before leaning in and kissing Thrax on the mouth. "You know what this means, right? We're parents now. We're Big Daddy Thrax and Big Daddy Ozzy."
Thrax rolled his eyes and smiled. "At least now we have a proper use for that collar and lead you bought and you can stop tormenting me with them."
Ozzy scrunched up his nose and threw his arms in the air. "No way, we're not using them on her! We use those for… y'know! They're not fit for an innocent little puppy! She's our baby and we're gonna buy her the best of the best."
"Our baby", Thrax said, putting his hand on Ozzy's knee. "I like that."
A few days later, Ozzy burst through the front door grinning his head off. Donut jumped out of her basket and started barking excitedly as she ran circles around the kitchen island.
Thrax shushed her and picked her up to kiss her on the head. "Oz, be careful, you made her jump. What are you so happy about, anyway?"
Ozzy ran over to Thrax and waved a piece of paper in front of his face. "Look, look! The teacher gave me a 10/10 on my Spanish speaking exam! She said that I have 'un buen acento'! I've never got such a good mark on anything before!"
Thrax smiled and patted him on the head. "Well done, baby. I told you that you'd do great."
Ozzy looked at the report card and stated proudly, "I'm gonna go stick it on the fridge!"
"Yeah, stick it right next to your court summons", Thrax taunted, a big grin spreading over his face.
Ozzy shot him a disgruntled look and groaned. "Don't remind me… by the way, you really don't have to come with me to that, I think it'd make me more embarrassed if you were there."
Thrax frowned at him and cocked his head. "But I'm your only defence."
Ozzy stuck the report card to the fridge and spun around to face Thrax. "You're literally the reason I'm goin' to court in the first place! Thanks to you, they think I'm a dirty pervert who keeps a virus as a sex slave! If you show up singin' my praises, they'll probably just think that I subdued you and forced you to defend me."
"Oz, no offence, but I'm pretty sure no one will think that you have subdued me", he stated dryly, while nuzzling his cheek against Donut's head.
Ozzy huffed and took Donut from him, before angrily pointing his finger in Thrax's face. "You should be the one goin' to court! You're the one who made me talk to that old lady while wearin' a thong! Plus, you've literally killed trillions of cells in your life! How is it fair that I'm the one in trouble?"
Thrax grabbed Ozzy's wrist and pulled him closer. "A mass murderer, a sex offender and a mangy street dog. The city of Lola is lucky to have us."