Title: Self-Reflection
Summary: After the Mirror World incident, Ash finds himself with some unanswered questions and his thoughts all lead back to one very important person. Pokeshipping. Oneshot.
Note: Sorry for the delay. I think this will be my final prompt for pokeshipping week given I'm already nearly a month late on posting this. I may revisit some of the prompts I had ideas for in the form of future oneshots, but given we're at the holidays, I can't guarantee any hard timelines.
Ash had never been one for self-reflection.
Things like that required thought, patience, and a heavy dose of realism and given Ash's entire energy was "optimism in the wake of world ending events," he lacked the latter at the very least.
But for some reason, unbeknownst to him, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong as the group ambled toward the pokemon center in the hopes of making it before nightfall.
Along the way, Serena had tried to unsuccessfully cut into his pondering, but by now she'd given up and was chatting amicably with the brother/sister duo that led the group toward their destination. Ash simply wasn't in the mood for discussion as no one could truly understand the adversity and oddities he'd encountered except for maybe Pikachu since no one else aside from his loyal electric rodent had been privy to his dalliance in the alternate world.
All in all, it had been a weird day with mirror selves and a lingering feeling that wasn't settling despite his efforts to brush off the encounter as yet another strange adventure. When he couldn't correct his internal struggle, he finally relented and decided to steer into the skid thinking first of his mirror self in an effort to placate his mind.
It wasn't that his mirror self was the total opposite of his true self; Mirror Ash was still kind, still loved pokemon, and still seemingly enjoyed travel. The only detail that seemed truly inverted was his self-confidence. Where Ash was foolhardy and brave, his counterpart had been quick to throw in the towel on any given situation.
He paused for a moment at the edge of the treeline as the group was finally approaching the path that led out of the forest and into town. He hoped that small bout of self-reflection would settle his uproarious mind, but still something rattled within like a coin in a jar that just couldn't be shaken out.
"Are you coming with us, Ash?" Serena asked sweetly, noticing the boy had fallen behind the group.
"Yeah," Ash shrugged, picking up his feet once more to catch up, but inside something clicked – the mirror group hadn't discontinued their travels together, but they probably should have.
Even setting their switched personality traits aside, the disconnect remained the same in both worlds, and seeing the inverted versions just highlighted how disjointed the group actually was.
Despite the fact that their personalities were opposite in this world, the group still mixed like oil and water. It wasn't that they couldn't coexist, as they clearly were fine to do in both worlds, but they still remained distinctly separate in their goals and future ideas.
In the other world, Mirror Serena had yelled at Mirror Ash to the point where he'd wanted to travel alone, and honestly he probably would have been better for it, as the mirror version of the svelte blonde girl gaslit his own mirror self into traveling again without a genuine apology for the ways in which she'd forced his hand under the guise of "joking."
He tried to think about the current group and put a basal truth lens over it, and could only come up with the idea that while the version of Serena that he knew provided friendly support, she also didn't help him improve in any real manner of speaking. Nice Serena definitely didn't call him out when he messed up, and she didn't challenge him to work harder or be better, she simply existed alongside him. It was a friendship, but still something felt two-dimensional about it.
In this world Serena viewed him as some sort of hero or knight in shining armor, when deep down Ash knew he was just fumbling through harrowing situations on dumb luck and a reckless lack of self-preservation.
In both worlds she saw him as something other than he was, but she also didn't do anything to make him change.
In his spiraling state Ash got to the existential question he'd been avoiding pondering: if this group did break up, would he be willing to travel onward with any one of them?
The last time he was willing to travel with just one companion was when he traveled with her…
His feet dragged a bit at the thought, further putting distance between himself and the group as they neared the pokemon center, and he felt small pangs of longing shoot like spike cannon pricks through his heart.
He'd had a lot of adventures since she stopped traveling with him, but his greatest adventures by far were with the feisty redhead at his side.
Misty brought equality and challenge in a way he hadn't found since she left.
Maybe it had been because they were both fairly new at things, being a couple of semi-clueless ten year olds with only Brock to sherpa them through travel, training, and life.
Maybe it was the challenge she presented as he knew if she stepped up her game, he would work his hardest to follow since he couldn't let her best him without knowing he'd put it all on the line. Together they etched forward towards an invisible finish line and egged each other onward to see who would dare cross it first.
Or maybe it had more to do with overlapping interests, as all of his similarly aged counterparts since her, had more of an interest in the performative part of pokemon and she was a strict battler like him. Not that Ash thought there was anything wrong with contests and performances, but he preferred the simplicity of battle where the winner was the one with the strength, strategy, and resourcefulness to come out on top.
It was simple, and by extension they were simple. He never had to guess where he stood with Misty – if she was unhappy with him she told him as much, which was helpful in that Ash had never been privy to the art of subtly.
He missed how simple life had seemed back then.
He moved through the pokemon center with an unfocused energy and was unable to register what was happening around him as his mind whirred onward in a faraway space. He hoped these raw thoughts would settle by nightfall, but he suspected they wouldn't right themselves until he talked to her.
She always knew exactly how to fix him.
Later that night he found himself sneaking back into the lobby to place a phone call after closing hours. Normally Nurse Joy needed be present to activate the lines, but he'd discovered a glitch a while back that allowed Pikachu to give a mild shock to the phone lines to still create the desired line activation effect.
Ash still paid for the call so he figured it was a harmless way to get more privacy, and Pikachu was more than happy to comply given the time difference between Kalos and Kanto.
Pikachu still had a special place for 'Pikachupi' after all, so while the electric rodent couldn't shock romantic sense into Ash, at least he could connect his trainer and the girl.
Unfortunately for Ash, it was Daisy that answered, which meant the redhead he sought was likely mid-battle as the remaining sisters hardly lifted a manicured finger to do gym work unless they had to.
"Little sister, you have a phone call," Daisy called through the doorway.
"Who is it? I swear, Daisy, if it's the pokemon league auditors and you can't handle a simple confirmation of dates when the calendar is right next to the phone, then I will personally drown you," Misty angrily shouted back.
'Same Misty,' Ash thought with a smirk.
"No, it's, like, your boyfriend," Daisy trilled tauntingly.
Ash heard some swear words, a hyperbeam command to Gyarados, and then a bit of disgruntled muttering between the siblings before Misty's flushed face appeared on the screen.
"Ash, it's noon here. I have challengers lined up halfway around the block, and you can clearly see how helpful my sisters are being" Misty exasperated tiredly, plopping down in the seat in front of the screen while shooting a smarting glare at Daisy who slunk out of the room.
"Sorry; I just…" Ash muttered distantly.
Of course it was insane for him to call her. Usually they set up plans to talk well in advance since he was always falling into adventures and she constantly had challengers calling at her door.
"Are you OK?" Misty asked, finally taking stock of the shaken look on the dark-haired trainer's face, and emoting in a concerned but firm tone that let Ash know she would accept no pretenses.
"Not really, it's been a weird day," Ash admitted sheepishly.
He had no idea why he felt shy about this. He wanted to talk this through with her, and it wasn't like she was present in the mirror world so there should be no awkwardness.
"So one like every single other day of your life?" Misty teased gently.
"Like I entered an alternate world weird," Ash elaborated with a downcast sigh.
"What did you find there?"
Practical and to the point – that was the Misty he knew and relied on. She wasted no time questioning whether he had or had not actually entered another realm, but instead cut to the details that he needed to share to right his mind.
"I found a mirror version of myself. He was really weak and he cried a lot," Ash admitted quietly.
"So ten year old you?" Misty taunted laying bait to get him to further explain.
"Misty," Ash admonished quietly.
"You called me, remember?" Misty pointed out with an amused smirk hoping to edge out the slightest bit of fire from the downtrodden teen.
"I know. It's all just really weird to think about," Ash muttered despondently, failing to take the bait.
"So was the mirror version what you feared you'd be or the complete opposite of you?" Misty asked redirecting the conversation, and dredging up a question that Ash had begun to address, but hadn't fully answered to himself.
"I guess it was just the one trait really; where I don't quit, he was quick to give up," Ash admitted, looking at Misty with hopeful eyes.
She would fix this; she always did.
"And the others?" Misty asked carefully. She'd been slightly wary of Serena especially since the few times Ash had called during normal pokemon center hours the blonde girl had lingered too close to his side and made clear efforts to draw Ash's attention away from the call.
'As if Ash wasn't paying to talk on the phone to talk to me,' Misty snorted internally at the memory.
After that they'd made a point to talk at night, without Ash's traveling companions in earshot. He still relied on her as a sounding-board for his inner thoughts and she liked having his undivided attention given the late hour in Kalos.
"Bonnie adored Clemont who was fast and more ritual based than sciencey; Serena was mean. Thing is, I don't think that group should have continued traveling together," Ash explained with a level of detachment that Misty didn't expect.
"So why call me? I wasn't there, was I?" Misty probed, curiously.
She was having a hard time untangling what was tripping Ash up given it seemed more clear cut than some of the world ending adventures he'd endured, but she imagined it had something to do with the composition of the group.
"No, but I just know if the mirror version of me had met the mirror version of you, she'd be exactly what he needed to make him a stronger trainer," Ash mumbled before his brain caught up to his words.
It was an honest statement, one that calmed him for the first time since he'd returned from the mirror world, because it was as clear and simple as their companionship was.
"What are you saying?" Misty puzzled trying to uncover the details out of the ambiguity.
It wasn't like Ash to get emotional and him openly admitting to needing her was one of the last things she'd ever expected him to say, but whatever had transpired between the mirror version group clearly unsettled the part of him that longed for companionship. He'd always been a social butterfree and rarely traveled for more than a day or two solo, but he seemed strangely lost and lonely on the other end of the line.
"I'm not sure; I just know I definitely needed you in the beginning," Ash acknowledged with a small blush blooming on his cheeks.
As much embarrassment as he was feeling at the statements, they also made him feel better, like the weight of confusion that had been looming over him all afternoon was finally lifting.
He wasn't alone. She'd told him as much in the Orange Islands and hadn't wavered for a moment since.
"And now?" Misty pressed, unsure what the point of everything Ash was saying was.
She was still stuck caring for the gym, and he still had a world to explore, so no matter how nice the words, it didn't change their circumstance.
"I still need you, but life gets in the way," Ash mumbled with a hint of sadness as he came to the same realization that Misty just had.
"I probably would have been some girly pushover in the mirror world," Misty huffed, in efforts to lighten the suddenly sullen mood.
"But wouldn't that be what a quitter Ash would need?" Ash smiled softly thinking about how that version of her would likely complement his mirror self well.
"Probably," Misty lightly chuckled mulling over the implications in Ash's words.
"I know you have to get back to the gym and I should get back to bed, but I'm glad I got to talk to you. No matter how many worlds I go through, I think in every one of them the version of me would be better with the version of you by his side," Ash admitted resolutely.
Hope you enjoyed!
Again, sorry for the delay, but I didn't want to just skip this post given I actually went through the effort to watch the mirror world episode in prep for this oneshot. It was a bit challenging to draw anything out of it as the actual episode plot line was swiss cheese at best, but I did what I could with the prompt.
I have a five part pokeshipping story (parts 4/5 are written and near edited) that I'll post the first chapter of this upcoming Friday. I'm trying to buy myself a bit of time to write the final chapter of "By a Thread" and add another chapter of "Spill the Tea" by Christmas so I won't be delving into any other oneshots at the moment.
Review or favs are always appreciated!
-FWFT