Gray Sweaters

Jerry and I strolled through the colorful fall leaves down a well-worn trail behind the house and in the direction of beach. The weather was typical for Japan that time of year: crisp, cool, perfect for a walk. We made good conversation. He was charming and witty and I soon forgot the ugly encounter with Akira.

Still, at moments, I wondered, why wouldn't he want Jerry to know me? Am I that much of an embarrassment to him?

When we got closer to the creek, the trail became uneven. I struggled over a large rock and lost my footing. Jerry caught me before I fell.

"Why don't you hold my hand--just in case," he offered.

I accepted his offer with a slight blush. His hand was warm and strong. Still my thoughts defaulted to Akira.

Finally, we made it down to a secluded area near the rushing water. Tall oak trees framed the bank and lush grasses made a perfect spot for us to rest a moment.

After we sat down, he immediately leaned in. It was a little too close for me.

"It was nice of you to take me out here--to release some pressure," he whispered in my ear. "Watch your space Jerry," I moved away out of reflex. What the hell he trying to do? Wrong steps, I will kill this guy.

"Oh, sorry." He smiled at me. He offered me a bottle of Coke. "Here, drink it. I brought it earlier," I accepted his offered drink and drinking without thinking.

Not long after that, I can feel my head was spinning. My body feels weak. He leaned over me before I can stand up and pressed his weight against my chest. My mind races.

What is going on? Is this really happening?

"Jerry, please move..." my voice was weak.

I pushed his chest away, but it was like pushing on a brick wall.

"I'm sorry Rukawa, I didn't mean to do this. But I have too. I really like you Rukawa" he whisper in my ear.

"Don't play with me Jerry, I will kill you!" I try to get up with all my strong energy left.

"I know you're brawler Rukawa, that's why I put something in your drink earlier. This is only way for me to catch you" he started to kissing my neck. "But don't worry, it only effects for 1 or 2 hour. After that, you'll become normal back."

I could smell alcohol on his breath, and then I could taste it when he kissed me full on the mouth--a sloppy, frantic kiss. Not at all like the only in my dream...with Akira.

"Stop! Get off of me!" I yelled.

With his free hand, he grabbed at the buttons on my shirt. I realized in that moment, he was going to rape me.

Finally, I can punch his face. Even my energy was totally lost effect by drugs.

He slaps my face and he refused to give up. He freed my shirt. He pinched my nipple and then moved his mouth toward it--his other hand now between my legs. This bastard! If only not because of this drug, I will killed you instantly!

I was going to be statistic. A victim of rape. The white trash boy who asked for it. I deserved it for being so stupid. Didn't Akira try and warn me?

I pleaded, "please don't do this..."

And then, just like that, he was off of me. Free of his weight. I am still weak, but I'm still awake. I can see clearly what happens next.

I looked up to see where he had gone.

Akira was here.

He had Jerry in a choke hold. I had never seen him so enraged. The two men struggled with each other, but Akira had the clear advantage with his height and sobriety. Jerry was able to break free for just a moment before Akira punched him in the face. He fell to the ground in a pathetic, unconscious pile.

"Damn you Akira! Why you?!" he try to speak while holding his mouth and nose. Full with blood. "Touch him one more, I will kill you! This is my last warning!" Akira warned him. Jerry was struggle to stand up. "And now forget about your opportunity!" He said.

Akira grabbed his collar, "go to hell with your opportunity! And get lost!" His voice full with anger. He freed Jerry collar and push him.

In a second, Akira was next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder protectively, as a big brother. He hugged me. "Don't worry, that drugs only effect for 2 hours. I will take care of you," he's sounds full of guilty.

I don't know how much time passed, but I stayed in his embrace until I heard police sirens. I only vaguely remembered when he called them from his cell phone.

The police took our statements and arrested Akira's college friend for attempted rape--the college friend with the rich and powerful father who would probably not give Akira a job after this--the father who probably had the power to ruin his career in banking if he were so inclined.

It occurred to me that Akira never expressed the tiniest concern about any of that as we stood by the creek. He could have handled it a hundred different ways that might have preserved his relationship with Jerry--and preserved his chances of having a career at Franklin Bank. But he acted honorably. And decently. And good. He made me feel important and worth protecting.

At once, my childhood disdain for him started to fade.

It was dark out when Akira drove me home. He had given me his sweater to wear since my shirt was ripped. I glanced at him in his white shirt. He was stoic, deep in thought. I wondered if he would regret his decision to defend my honor and have his friend, and all the connections that went along with him, smashed to a pulp?

We didn't speak at all during the short drive. When we arrived home, no one seemed to realized we had been gone for several hours.

Akira walked behind me up to stairs to my room, like a protective shadow, while the remainder of the guest cheered over another soccer game in the family room, and children laughed and romped around in front of a Pixar movie under Ayumi's watchful eye on the other side of the house.

Maybe I deserved for all this happened. I was an idiot.

When we made it to my door, I faced him. Once the drugs had worn off, my mind had started working. I had questions. "Akira, how did you know that would happen?"

He looked distressed. Tortured. "I didn't know. I never would have invited him here and I known...what he was capable of" he answered, solemnly.

"Then why did you ask me not to go with him?"

He paused before answering, as if trying to find right words. "I don't know. I just knew he had bad intentions. I can't explain. It was the way he looked at you. Like he wanted to eat you alive. Truth is...he is gay."

Akira eyes locked onto mine. That feeling in my stomach returned.

His hand brushed over mine, then held it, his eyes never wavering. His touch was magic and heat and electricity--I wanted more of it.

After a moment, I broke the spell and pulled my hand away, but it was clear we had both felt something, the world shifting slightly and changing the energy between us forever. "What are you going to tell your parents?" I asked.

He shifted his weight, folded his left arm across his chest, and rubbed his chin with right hand, like he always did when he was thinking. "Don't worry about it, Kaede. I'll handle everything so you won't have to think about it ever again," he declared.

"Thanks." I tugged at his sweater. "Let me give this back to you" I said.

"No. You keep it," he offered. His eyes grazed over my form for a second. "It looks much better on you."

When I didn't say anything, words failing me, Akira turned to go. "Goodnight, Kaede."

"Goodnight" I managed.

I think that was the first time I knew Akira that we had said goodnight to each other. I shut my bedroom door and wrapped my arms around my chest, breathing in Akira scent, and reliving the memory of his strong embrace.

What was happening between us?