Wednesday was unsure of what her frie- roommate wanted to talk about, but if she wanted to do it in privacy who was Wednesday to deny her that.

She guided Enid to a classroom she knew was rarely used and quickly picked the lock before letting the werewolf enter first. Enid examined the room for a moment and seemed to have found it to her liking when she turned to face Wednesday again.

"S-so," Enid started but didn't continue.

"I believe you're the one who had something to discuss," Wednesday pointed out, helping to jog the werewolf's memories.

"Yes. I did." Enid took a deep breath before she went on. "Apparently, and this isn't something people have talked to me directly about, except for Bianca when I asked her. But apparently people think you tortured both Ajax and Lucas for going on, or trying to go on, a date with me."

"Preposterous."

"Yes. But, um. Did you torture them for making me cry?" Enid shrunk back at her own words, as though they burned on their way out.

Wednesday contemplated the idea for a moment. Burning words that hurt the person speaking them didn't exist, but perhaps the right combination of drugs and hypnosis could generate a similar effect. And barring that it was possible that you could achieve such a result using sorcery, though Wednesday had yet to come across anything even remotely similar in her own studies of the craft.

Filing the idle thought away for later scrutiny, because it would surely be useful in keeping witnesses silent if it could be performed with any degree of expediency, she turned her attention back to Enid and the girls words.

"I didn't torture Ajax. I merely took him to see the beekeeping shed in the middle of the night and asked him why he didn't show up to your date. When it came out that it had been an accident I let him go with only a mild warning."

"And Lucas?"

"The mayor's son and I had a surprisingly fascinating discussion on morals of all things. I hadn't taken him for someone with a fully functional brain until that conversation so it forced me to reexamine my assessment of him."

Enid looked at her skeptically.

"And that's all you did? You abducted Ajax for a couple of minutes and talked things out with Lucas?"

"More or less." Neither interaction had been particularly unusual for her. They'd actually been downright tame compared to her games with Pugsly growing up. "Oh, but I did water board Lucas for half an hour."

"Wednesday!" Enid said with a delectable frown. "Don't torture people I date."

"I assure you that him getting water boarded was only partially related to your 'date' with him." When Enid gave her an unimpressed flat look she went on. "He had three infractions that weren't related to you as well: he started a fight with me, tried to bully Eugene, and sprayed me with paint rather than pigs blood."

If she was being honest that last one wasn't a terribly big deal, she hadn't even counted it when talking to the boy, but it was better than admitting that she truly cared for her roommate.

"And that's the story they'd tell me if I asked them?"

"I did not lie, Enid. You have my word."

"That's not what I asked." That statement, the confidence behind those words, set something within Wednesday ablaze. Rather than pondering that feeling further, she had been avoiding to ponder her feelings a lot when it came to Enid, she decided to answer Enid's question.

"I snuck into Ajax's room wearing a blindfold, used some chloroform on him to make sure he didn't wake up as I transported him, tied him to a chair in the beekeeping shed, and woke him with a bucket of ice water. He was in a state of partial undress throughout the process as he evidently prefers to sleep in boxer-shorts and a tank top.

"After asking my questions, cleverly disguised as a suspicion that he was the monster, I confirmed his story with his roommate before untying him and handing him a towel.

"As for Lucas he found himself tied up in his bed, I threatened him, then we talked, and after that I water boarded him. If you asked him he'd tell you I explicitly did it for making you cry, a minute of water boarding for every minute you cried." Wednesday realized how that sounded so she decided to amend the statement.

"Even so, I was punishing him for having three infractions, not just making you cry."

"I thought it was four."

"I- I didn't mind the paint all that much."

"So you lied to me."

"NO!" Wednesday quickly strode across the room to reach for Enid, letting her hands hover around her shoulders. "I would never lie to you. I just-"

"Just what, Wednesday? And don't lie now." Enid was torturing her; she must have known what she did to Wednesday every time she opened her mouth. It was the only explanation for- for teasing her like that.

"I didn't want you to think that I cared for you," she admitted.

Her lo- roommate must have secretly been an actress all along with how expertly she feigned surprise.

"You 'care for me'? Really?" A big smile stretched across her face, and while Wednesday wasn't usually one for emotions she found that she quite enjoyed that smile.

"Why else would I swear to nail gun the heart of anybody who breaks yours?"

"Oh." Something in her tone sounded disappointed. "You meant like that."

Something was off. The investigator within her seized onto that phrase like it held the secrets to the universe, and she couldn't quite place why.

"Like what?" she asked, because if Enid demanded she be truthful than she could at least return the favor.

"I- it's nothing I just thought you might... mean..."

Enid trailed off, her face blooming with a blush more intense than Wednesday had ever seen on a woman's face growing up. Then again, she'd been cage schooled at home for all of that time. As compared to her classmates in public school it was middling at best.

"That I might mean what?"

"Romantically?"

"Yes, so?"

"What do you mean 'so'? If you liked me like that-"

"I do."

"-I would... You do?"

"I have told you twice now, Enid."

Her love stared at her as though she had told her she wanted to go to a boy-band concert dressed entirely in pink.

"So you, Wednesday Addams, want to kiss me?"

"Yes."

"And go on dates with me?"

"Also yes."

"And like, move in with me eventually and get married?"

"We're already living together, but yes."

"Why?"

"What do you mean? You're a splendid specimen of humanity, one of the few worth keeping around really."

"So it's not because I can turn into a giant wolf monster?"

"As attractive as your ability to dismember our classmates is, I loved you long before you showed any such capabilities."

"But why?"

"While the particulars do still elude me, I find your company quite pleasing and your prattle about innocuous things makes for good torture with an aftertaste I can't place but certainly enjoy."

"I'm just gonna pretend that was a compliment."

Wednesday furrowed her brows. "It... was..."

"Okay," Enid said with finality. "Then starting today we're girlfriends." Wednesday arched an eyebrow. Something about it seemed too easy, like a trap yet to be sprung. "But you can't torture people anymore."

Wednesday narrowed her eyes at her new lover.

"Not even if they're secretly a Hyde? Or Pugsly?"

"I- You have to ask for my permission before you torture anyone. Or kill them in anything but self deffence."

"Fine. But if someone kills you it'd hurt me a great deal, so I'll count defending you as self defense."