Peter Rabbit had always wanted to get into the McGreggors' garden. Yes, he'd heard of other rabbits going into there to steal food and not coming out alive. Yes, he was only a child and not as experienced as some of the older rabbits who had gone in and died. But still, he thought he could manage it. In fact, in his arrogance, he thought he could survive where the adults couldn't, being smaller and, in his mind, less likely to be spotted.
"Peter, that garden may look tempting, but it's too risky. Why, your grandfather was one of those who went into there and never came out." his mother had once told him. However, he thought that that was just his grandfather, who had clearly picked a wrong day to go into the garden. He had gone in midday and been caught. That was clearly the wrong time to go! He himself was going to sneak in even before dawn. That way, the McGreggors' wouldn't be awake to stop him. More importantly still, in his mind, his mother wouldn't be awake to stop him, either.
"Mom, I feel really tired, I think I'll go to bed early." he said around sunset.
"Peter, this is most unlike you. You are never one to go to bed early." his mother remarked. Indeed it was true. He liked to stay up as late as he could, many times, truth be told, to sneak cookies from the cookie jar in the middle of the night. This time, however, he was after a much bigger prize than mere cookies from a cookie jar; he was after an all-you-can-eat buffet in the McGreggors' garden. And he'd have it all to himself, with no stinking family to have to share it with.
Despite his great excitement for his planned capers the following morning, which made him so anxious that he fell asleep later than he'd hoped, he had no trouble getting up an hour before dawn. He left his room after hastily dressing himself (and putting his shirt on inside-out due to his haste and not being able to see well in the predawn dark of his bedroom.) Rather than risk getting caught by trying to sneak across the house, a risky venture owing to his mother being a light sleeper, a fact that he had learned the hard way when he'd been caught sneaking cookies and had had 12 swats with her switch applied to his bare bottom, and her bedroom in front of the house door, he instead slowly crept out his bedroom window, which he thought it great fortune, was on the opposite side of the house as his mother, and down into the yard.
RRRRGH! ROGGH! GURRRG! His stomach rumbled hungrily, but he paid it no heed. He would be having his own private feast soon enough. He had other needs, however, that he couldn't ignore. Normally, he'd have used the family chamber pot to relieve himself in the morning. However, he knew that doing would risk discovery, and so he still had a full bladder. Worse, he hadn't had a bowel movement in a few days, and, due to having already walked a mile, the McGreggor garden being several miles away, was increasingly feeling the urge to go.
He undid his zipper and relived himself on a tree. He then pulled down his pants and underwear and had a bowel movement. Once done, he used some leaves to wipe himself. After he was some distance away from the spot, he began to feel an itch on his rear. 'I wonder what kind of leaves those are." he said aloud to himself.
After trekking the distance to the McGreggor's garden, the itch began to intensify, plus his balls began to itch as well. He felt that he would need to do something about it later, but first, there was the matter of his feast. He wasn't going to let the matter of a mere itchy ass and some jock itch stop him from obtaining his prize now. Only a gate, not really secure enough to even keep a human out, if they wanted in, let alone a young rabbit, stood in his way. This, he easily snuck through, squeezing in between the bars.
Now he was in the garden. The garden! It was bigger than he'd imagined! He stood there for a moment, gazing at it. "This is going to be the best feast ever!" he declared. He immediately set to work devouring as many carrots, radishes, and cucumbers as he could.
The radishes gave him gas, but he didn't mind. It was a small price to pay for such a feast. Next, he set about eating watermelons. Despite their large size, he managed to finish two large melons. After he had eaten several potatoes, his stomach was so full that he couldn't finish another bite. This was the best meal he'd ever had. If only his family could see him now. He'd shown them all that he could raid the garden.
"Cockadoodle doo!" It was one of the McGreggor roosters. The sun had come up while he'd been enjoying his gluttonous feast.
"Cockadoodle doo!" several more roosters echoed the first.
"Shut up!" Peter snapped at them, annoyed by the racket.
Soon, however, he had more problems than loud roosters. The crowing of the roosters had awoken the two McGreggors. Peter was now alarmed. He needed to get out of here, and fast! However, his large feast had made him groggy. He couldn't run as fast as he normally could. He was able to evade the notice of Mr. McGreggor, but his wife spotted the young rabbit thief.
"Another one!" she cried. "Get the nets, it's another rabbit breaking into our garden!" she called to her husband.
Mr. McGreggor hobbled away, with surprising speed for a man his age, and returned with two nets. Peter had, unfortunately, been quite some distance from the gate, being at the far side of the garden nearest the house. It was quite a long way, for a rabbit anyway, especially one groggy from eating more than four rabbits should, to go. Still, despite the two gaining on him, he was nearing the gate. Once he got through, he knew of some holes that he could get into that would put him out of their reach.
Mr. McGreggor swung the net toward him, narrowly missing him. He was now only a few feet from the gate. He made a powerful hopping leap, zooming out of the way of another attempt to net him by Mr. McGreggor. The bars of the gate neared. He was going to be free!
WHAM! Mrs. McGreggor swung her net in front of the gate bars, and he was unable to change course in time, and landed right in the net. Now netted, Peter could do nothing as she reached her hands into the net and grabbed him. Her grip was too strong for him to do more than wiggle in vain and, due to her wearing garden gloves, his teeth were useless against her hands.
"Should we make him into a rabbit pie?" she asked her husband.
"Nah, this guy is too little. But Agnes will really like him."
"Looks like you chose the wrong garden to break into little fellow." she said.
Peter was terrified. This wasn't how he had pictured things going! What was going to happen to him now?