Home Sweet Home

Living back in the small house was harder than I thought it would be. I was now used to the clean luxury of the Sendoh's stately house. I cleaned up this tiny house, the house where I grew up. Sweat point results from my father. This is my place and this is my life. Here.

With both of our efforts together, Ayumi and I managed to avoid each other completely at school. It was better that way since I would be tempted to ask about Akira.

It was hard enough that he called me every day for two weeks after I left, and that I had to constantly delete his emails so I wouldn't be tempted to read them and obsess over the whole situation more than I was already. I made myself promise to ignore him, and by the third week, the calls and emails stopped abruptly.

Sometimes, at night, I wondered if I was making a mistake--if I should at least give him a chance to explain. But then I would quickly remember Mrs. Sendoh word that he would marry someone who shares his values, and how Ayumi pointed out that he was just using me to get to his mother.

It made sense. At least, it made more sense to me than any other explanation for his attention. No way had he loved me. I was just another notch on his bedpost.

I told my dad I was back at our home, but didn't mention why. And he didn't ask. He tried to be supportive, but he had enough of his own problems.

"I'll send you some money," he offered during one his weekly phone calls.

"I have some saved up, dad. So I'm fine. Remember, I worked all summer? And nee-chan already send me money."

He coughed in response. It sounded worse than before. Why wasn't he getting better?

"Dad, you're still sick. I want to come out and see you for spring break. I'll make you some chicken soup."

"Oh," he answered, guilty. "Hamashi always made soup for me here. But now he have to leave for a while, but he will come back soon."

"Is he take care of you, dad?"

I wondered why he leaves my dad when it was obvious he was still sick.

"Of course he is."

"You should go see another doctor. The antibiotics are obviously not working."

He coughed again in reply, validating my concern. "Don't worry about me, son. You just focus on your studies. You're graduation soon, smarty-pants."

"And you better be there for the ceremony."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything. You can finally meet Hamashi."

I sighed in defeat. Well, maybe it's time to see my second father.

"Sure. Dad, did you know nee-chan pregnant? You'll become grandpa soon." I try to humor him.

"Of course I know, Kanara already told me. And you'll become uncle too," he laughed. My heart was warm when I heard he laughed in blissful.

"I want we lived together like before, our families numbers getting grow up. With little angel later, Kanara and Rico, and your soon-to-be father Hamashi."

"Sure, dad." I smiled. Imagine our family gather all together. In our small house.

"How about you? Do not want to increase the number of our family?" he asking me.

"I don't know, dad." My voice weakness. Truth is, never in my mind to thinking. The only person I loved is impossible to live with. "Is he or she?" dad sounds playfully.

"If I said he, what would you say?" I questioned him. He laughed. "Well, in that case, you're really flesh blood of Kazuki." I chuckled when I heard his answer.

"Listen, son. No matter what your decision, remember this. Dad always support you." I was touched by his words. "Thanks dad."

After we hung up, I shuffled into the tiny kitchen and made myself a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. I noticed the pile of mail on the counter and decided to go ahead and pay whatever bills were due. I could carry my weight now that I was an adult, as Mrs. Sendoh had so sharpy pointed out.

I noticed a thick envelope from the University of Tokyo. I know without looking that it was another acceptance letter. It was bittersweet, like winning the lottery while stuck on a deserted island. I had a pile of acceptance letters to the top schools in the country, but no way to pay for them.

I licked the peanut butter off of my fingers and opened it. My heart stopped when I read the first sentence.

We are pleased to inform you that you've been accepted into the University of Tokyo with a full-tuition scholarship.

I almost choked on the sandwich. A full ride scholarship!

I was going to college!

I feel so happy. I want to celebrate it with someone. But, I looked around the empty house and noted the bitter irony: I had the greatest news in the world and no one to share with it.

I finished my sandwich and tried to imagine how much better my life would be in Tokyo. Seattle was as far away from Kanagawa as one could get--a sign, surely, that Akira was a mistake. I would easily forget him. I lied to myself.

The day of graduation, I began to feel a spark of hope for my future. I wanted more than anything to leave this town and start a new life.

Dad and Hamashi would coming this morning and meet me at the ceremony, and we planned to have dinner afterwards. I just had to get through the day knowing Ayumi would be there with her entire family watching.

I can handle this. I told to myself.

When I found my seat at the auditorium, I scanned the crowd for my dad. Surely he was out there. As I searched for him, I spotted the Sendoh family surrounded by their relatives, no doubt flown in from all over the world just to see Ayumi walk across a stage and grab a blank piece of paper.

She had no idea what it was like to be alone.

After we officially graduated, I ran into the crowd looking for my dad. He wasn't anywhere. I checked my cell phone.

No calls.

No texts.

When I looked up from my phone, Ayumi was standing there in her robe, her face distressed. "Rukawa-Kun...can I talk to you?"

I wanted to find my dad. I almost felt in my bones if I didn't find him. "Sorry Ayumi, I'm trying to find my dad. He's here somewhere."

"I just wanted to say...I'm sorry."

She got my attention now. She looked tortured, so I listened as she spilled her guts. "I was so cruel to you. And I didn't know what was really going on. I'm just so sorry, Rukawa-Kun. Can you please forgive me? Can we please be friends again?"

I was dumbfounded. It was my turn now. The words came out fast. "I'm sorry, I went on a walk with Jerry. I don't know what I was thinking. If you think I really like all men, you're so wrong. And about your brother..."

"You don't have to say anything about niisan. I shouldn't have interfered. It's so weird, he's harassed me for months, asking about you. He never like that before for someone. He sent me this letter to give you, but I stupidly held onto it...for a while."

She pulled out a sealed envelope. A letter from Akira. Curse the fate for doing this to me!

She placed it in my hand and hugged me tightly." I'm so glad we're friends again...there's so much to tell you."

Before she could fill me in on what boy she now had a crush on, or what paint color she picked for her dorm room, my cellphone ring. "It's probably my dad," I explained to Ayumi as I answered.

"Dad?"

"Hello, Kaede?" The voice was male, middle aged.

"Yes, this is Kaede."

"This is Hamashi, your dad's friend."

Relief. They were here! "Where are you guys? I'm down by the stage."

"Kaede, your dad is in the hospital. We rushed to E.R early this morning and missed the train. I got your number from his cell."

My world stopped in that moment.

Hospital?

"What do you mean? What's wrong? Where is he?" I demanded.

"He has pneumonia and it's pretty bad. They've got him in some kind of coma so they can work on his lungs."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Kaede."

"Why didn't you call sooner? I could have been there by now!"

His reply full of guilty. "I am panic earlier, and almost forgot about you and Kanara. I called Kanara first then you. He's at Osaka Central Hospital. You have my number if you need anything."

"Thank you. I'll be there."

After I hung up, my phone was ringing back. It was my sister. "Kaede! Where are you?! Please go to dad now!" She's sounds panic. "I'm on my way now."

"Kaede, please watch our dad. I can't go there now, I'm in hospital. I have a complication bleeding." My sister pleaded.

"Nee-chan, please take care of yourself there. I will take care of dad here." I try to calm her, but the truth, I was scared too.

"Let me go with you Rukawa-Kun." Ayumi offered.

It was a gracious offer, but there no way I was going to incur more of Mrs. Sendoh wrath by stealing away her precious daughter on this special day.

"No it's fine. I'd rather go alone."