Chapter 11: Of Eggs and Mating

Peter was not thrilled at all. "Agnes, please, get me-PTUHHH-the hell outta-PTHHH-here! I don't fucking-PTUHHH-care if you have-PTUHHH-to reach your claws-PTUHHH-up your cloaca and-PTUHH! PTHHH-pull me out with them! PTHHH! PTUHHHH!"
"I'm afraid that won't work. I've never really ever had the need before to reach up my vent and pull any waste out as it was mostly goo. But I've had itches on the inside of my cloaca before, but I could only just reach the inner lip of the vent before and that took a lot of effort. So, I'm afraid you're too far out of reach."
"Then what in the name of bloody-PTUHHH! PHHT! PTUHHH!-fucking hell-PTUHH!-do you expect me-PTUHH!-to do about the-PTUHHH-damned shit and piss-PTUHHH-when it reaches over my-PTUHHH!-head? PTUHHH!" Peter exploded in rage.

Agnes was highly irritated now. Did the rabbit not see that she was trying her hardest. "I'm trying my damned best! If you are so worried about the waste, why don't you eat it if it starts to smother you!" the hawk snapped in exasperation.

"Eat this mess? PTUHHH! Gross! PTUHH!"

"Just give me a damn moment to think about this, ok. It's not like I planned for you to get stuck. If I had thought that would happen, I would have just ripped out your throat and you would have gotten a quick end and I a decent meal."

Peter decided to keep his mouth shut. He realized that upsetting Agnes enough would only make her kill him when she finally did excrete him. His thoughts about his situation were distracted by a sound nearby him. He could hear something moving inside the hawk. It wasn't from her rectum or her ureters but somewhere else. "What's that-PTUHHH!-sound?"

"The only sound I'm hearing is your non-stop mouth!" Agnes snapped. However, though she didn't hear it, she could soon feel it. She had assumed she wasn't due for a day or so after Peter was due to be excreted and hadn't thought of it at the time. However, it was at least that long now and apparently it was that time now.

"Can you tell-PTUH!-me what the hell is-PTUHH! PTH!-going on here? PTUHHH!" Peter snapped.
"I'm about to lay some eggs."
"Eggs? PTUHH!"
"Yes."
"Does that mean that...PTUH! PTHHH!...when you lay them...PTUH!...that it'll be enough to...PTUHHH!...push me out? PTUUH!"
"Unfortunately, no. As I said earlier, my body has a way to keep the eggs from getting contaminated by my wastes. I'm afraid what comes next will be a bit uncomfortable for you."
"You mean more than...PTUHHH!...the usual...PTUHHH!...pain? PTUHH!"
"Yes. It's about to get even more cramped."
"Just fucking great! PTUHHH!"

A moment later, the hawk could feel the egg enter her vagina. Soon, the opening of her oviducts extended outward, pushing up to her vent. This squeezed Peter and made him have to move his head to a weird angle to keep from being submerged in wastes. At this new angle, he had a clear view of her vent as the egg began to move from her urodeum to the vent and then through it.

The hawk's cloaca bulged out as the egg began to crown out of her vent. The vent, already sore from trying to excrete the young rabbit, began to bleed as the egg pushed its way through it. With a few more grunts and pushes, the egg fell out of her cloaca and landed on the ground below her. However, she could feel more eggs moving inside of her body and knew she wasn't done laying yet.

Peter Rabbit watched as another egg came through the passage from the hawk's vagina and entered into the urodeum. "What's going...PTUH...on? Are you...PTUH!...having babies? PTUHH!" he asked.
"No, these are unfertilized eggs. I lay them occasionally."
"What does unfertilized...PTUHHH...mean? PTUHH!"
"It means that they aren't fertilized by sperm."
"What is sperm? PTUHHHH!"
"It's something from a male that is put into the female."
"How? PTUHHHH!"
"That's kind of an adult thing."

As they had talked, the egg made its way out of her cloaca and another began to take its place. Already, nearly five minutes had gone by and Peter was beginning to feel cramped. While most of the amniotic fluid that poured down from her vagina went out the cloaca, some landed on him, mixing with the feces and urates. Over the next five minutes, the hawk laid the rest of her eggs. When she was done, she collapsed in exhaustion. "Aren't you going to try and...PTUH! PTUH!...shit me out again? PTUHHH!"
"I need a rest, kid!"

Peter could tell that the hawk had fallen asleep, for he could soon hear her loud snoring. He tried to wake her up, but she slept on. The waste level inside of her cloaca was such that it was now up to his neck. He was worried that he would suffocate in it if he wasn't able to be excreted that night. There was no way he could survive another day in her cloaca, waiting to be excreted the following night, not even if he did, as the hawk had sarcastically suggested, eat some of the waste to try and lower the level. The hawk remained asleep for about four hours, at which point the waste was nearly to Peter's nose level.

Around 3 in the morning, another hawk landed beside the sleeping Agnes. "I would think it safe to sleep in a tree instead, Agnes." he said.
The hawk woke with a start. "Andre, is that you?" she asked.
"Yes."
"I've had the most miserable night. Not only did I lay a bunch of eggs, but I have a serious case of constipation like you wouldn't believe. Worst in my life. Between the two, it made my cloaca bleed."
"That's a pity. But, I can do something to help with your cloaca pain, if you're interested, as well as fertilize those eggs of yours."

Peter's ears perked up. He heard the word "fertilize" and knew that Agnes wouldn't tell him how that worked. Maybe if he kept quiet, Agnes might forget that he was listening and let the other hawk speak. What came next, however, was more than Peter had bargained for. "You know, I think it might do me good. Goodness knows I've been holding out on you for a while. As long as you don't dine and dash and help me with the kids, I'm game."
"Yes, I promise to stay loyal. You know how I love you."

"Let's do the three kisses." Agnes suggested. The three kisses were, respectively, kissing their beaks together, kissing each other's cloaca with their beaks, and finally, having their cloacae "kiss" with the cloacal kiss.
"Excellent idea."
The two interlocked their beaks, kissing and lolling their tongues inside of each other's mouths. They continued at it for three minutes. Then, the two bent down, beginning to press their lips against each other's vents. Peter, of course, could see a bird's beak pressing against Agnes' cloaca. He wondered what the heck was going on, but was so curious that he didn't say anything. The two hawks began to lick at each other's cloaca. Soon, Agnes orgasmed, unable to handle the pleasure anymore. Peter felt a sudden tightness around him as her cloaca clenched from the orgasm. Now, the two were ready for the kiss. Andre mounted her from behind, pressing the lips of his vent against hers. Agnes' cloaca swelled as she became aroused. Peter was once more pushed into a tight corner. The male began to rub the ridges of his cloaca against hers, increasing the pleasure of both of them. He sped up, making the two sigh and moan with ecstasy. Peter, of course, didn't understand any of it, as he was unfamiliar with the concept of copulation, let alone what it looked like in practice in birds. Thus, he was unprepared for what happened as the two lovers hit climax. SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SPLORSSSSSSH! Andre's cloaca ejaculated and his seed shot into her cloaca. Most of it went into her vagina and to her oviducts, but some of it went to onto Peter instead, now raising the level of waste products and other material up to his eye level, forcing him to close his eyes. "Hey you two...PTUHHHH...what gives? PTUH!" he cried out.
"Agnes, why is your cloaca talking?" Andre asked.
Agnes' eyes flew open with alarm. In her moment of exhaustion and passion, she'd totally forgotten about Peter Rabbit being stuck inside her cloaca while all of that went down. "Oh shit!" she cried.