All right! New day, new world, new Tale! Before we begin, two things to note: One, this story will be eight to ten chapters (already planned and mostly drafted) and each chapter will be its own self-contained story. My definition of self-contained meaning the story happens, and the next chapter characters know about the previous chapter, but that's not the focus. And B.) this is set in the world Gamer95 and I created in the story Project Motherhood: Squigly. Also, III.) Canonically, there was a story which took place before this story, but it isn't written yet (I don't know if I will write it or not).

It was a beautiful day in the Canopy Kingdom. There were scant clouds in the sky, it was a warm summer day, birds were singing, flowers were blooming…

"Wait. Why am I so far up in the- oh, crap."

…and a small vortex opened high in the sky, depositing a dimensional-traveling mutant teenage hero with a passion for destruction, bad jokes, and dumb choices into the air. For a few moments, it felt like Mad Dawg was being held by someone in the air.

Then, gravity kicked in again.

"DAMN YOU, SKKOOORRRRCCCHHHHH!" Mad Dawg yelled as he shot off like a rocket towards the ground. He knew there really was no way he was going to land this without it hurting, unless someone from this world noticed and did something about it.

"Hey, Big Band." A small cartoonish teen said, getting attention of the musical giant next to her. "Is that someone falling from the sky, or am I going sane?"

"Uh, oh geez. That's a person." Big Band blinked looking to where Peacock was pointing.

"Oof. Sucks to be him."

"…you're not gonna do anything?"

"What could I-" Peacock began but was cut off by the loud THOOM! Of Mad Dawg crashing into something, followed by the sound of several dirty CRACKS! Which was ended with a final resounding CRASH! "…yeah… I probably could've done somehtin'… Still, I get the feeling he's alive." She coughed.

"What?! He's dead, Peacock." Big Band shook his head. "There's no chance he could have survived that!

"Five bucks says your wrong!"

"You want to gamble on a man's life?!"

"Fine, ten."

"No."

"Fifty."

"It's immoral. He may have a family."

"Fifty, and if he's dead I cover your tab."

"…deal."

"All right! Let's go!"

"OW." Mad Dawg groaned, face down in a mixture of concrete, wood, fabric, glass, and some other things now jammed into his body. He put a hand down and yelled in pain, weakly turning his head and seeing the bone sticking up through flesh and muscle. Normally, this would result in him swearing so much the Trailer Park Boys would think it was excessive, but he also had stone and debris impaling him currently, so… yeah, no. Quite literally peeling himself off of the ground, Mad Dawg's whole body screamed in agony as he shuffled off, unsure as to where he was going, but also not much caring. He was in so much pain that he didn't realize both his legs were broken-

"Wait. How am I walking?" He realized, then kept walking, ignoring the damage he was inflicting on himself, because he was an idiot. On top of the shattered body and copious blood loss, both his hearing and vision started to literally flicker in and out of working like a dying battery. He kept shambling like a zombie down the hall, unable to take in where he was, or where he was going. His walk ended when he came to a door, and Mad Dawg looked at it as if he had never seen one before.

"Hullo governer…" He drunkenly slurred, feeling his body shutting down. "No ofFisir I dondrink of twesday…"

One of the last things he heard was the creaking of wood and metal, and he swore he saw some sort of figure in front of him.

"O..od!...a…y…o…ri…t?!" What sounded like a female's voice swam inside his head.

"Th…f…k…re….ou…sa…in' Fil…F…OU…RS…HE…OT!" A deep male voice shouted, clearly agitated by something.

"Welp… time for bed!" And with that, Mad Dawg blacked out. The world tilting sideways as he did so.

Five Minutes Earlier…

Filia Medici was finishing up some paperwork in her office, finally setting them to the side and sighing in relief. Finally, her work was done for the day! She pushed back in her chair and spun in circles blowing a raspberry.

"We done?" Her hair asked as a black, serpent-like parasite slithered out and looked at her with a bored look.

"Yup. Done for now." Filia sighed, hauling herself to her feet and sluggishly wandered out of the office. She looked around, not seeing any of her friends or employees and decided she was going to the cafeteria. Coffee sounded good right about now.

"Squigly's on tonight, and Beatrix is tomorrow, right?" Filia asked, trying to remember the schedule she had made about two hours ago for the performances at the casino. But, she was already pulling a blank.

"No, Beatrix is tonight, Squigly's tomorrow. They switched because Feng wasn't available to watch the kid."

"Ah, right…" Filia sighed, entering the cafeteria. She made her way semi-sluggishly towards the coffee makers and sighed as she waited for one of the few reasons she got out of bed to pour.

"You okay? You're seeming off." Samson asked, looking at his host once more. They'd been bonded for… geez, nearly fifteen years now! He had seen Filia all over the emotional board, and when she wasn't acting like herself, she might do something stupid, and HE would have to pull her out of it… which meant work for him.

"I'm fine Sam." Filia muttered, taking a drink of coffee. "I just hate paperwork! I've been at it all night!"

"Hm, that's extremely understandably and completely fair." The parasite nodded, slithering around the coffee machine before going under it and dirking the hot coffee straight out of the machine.

"Still… things seem calm enough for now, I'll be fine." She shook her head, then looked around and frowned. "This place seems like a mess… where's Whoo?"

"Whoo Dat quit, remember?" Samson remarked, and Filia looked like she wanted to scream. "He was moving nests, and the commute was too far."

"Aaaagghhhhhh…." Filia moaned, banging her head against a wall in tired frustration.

"Whoa! Watch it Fi! Some of us are attacked to your thick skull, y'know?!"

"Yeah, yeah… That's just something else we need to deal with!" She grumbled. "With all this paperwork, scheduling conflicts, bookkeeping, and y'know… EVERYHTING ELSE we need staff for… Where are we gonna find a new janitor?"

Filia jumped as a deafening THOOM! Echoed throughout the room, the pair looking around reflexively before hearing several CRACKS! Which was ended with a final resounding CRASH!

"…okay, you didn't say 'what else could go wrong', but you might as well have." Samson admitted. "Also, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"

Filia rushed to the nearby door, hearing someone or something drunkenly speaking on the other side of the door. She threw it open and gasped when she saw the broken and bloody teen on the other side of the door.

"Welp! Time fer bed!" The figure declared, then fell backwards and into unconsciousness.

"Well, I did not expect today to go like this." Filia confessed before looking up and cursing audibly. "What happened to the roof!?"

"Whaddya think happened?! HE DID!" Samson shouted, jerking his head in the direction of the unconscious newcomer.

Presently…

"Hey… kid? Can you hear me now?" Filia asked, waving a hand in front of Mad Dawg's face. The mutant's eyes seemed to slowly follow after her hand. "Oh, thank the Trinity! What happened?!"

"Urgh…" Mad Dawg moaned, his eyes opening and closing, before he began looking around, then looking down at his body. He looked down and groaned, slowly reaching and pulling an IV out, only to be grabbed by a nurse who looked at him with one eye in shock.

"What are you doing?!" She asked in a slight panic. Mad Dawg gurgled something nonintelligent, and she blinked in confusion. "What?" Mad Dawg gurgled again, but this time Samson slithered over to him and looked him up and down.

"Geez… what happened to this dude?" Samson muttered, looking up and down. "I ain't seen these many scars… ever. Even that Beowulf dude doesn't have this many…"

"Can't…" Mad Dawg finally spoke. "Heal…"

"Wait, heal?" Filia blinked. Samson and Valentine looked to one another, then shrugged. Samson then pulled the IV out without a second thought or proper medical procedure. "What are you doing!?"

"I thought we agreed to pull the IV out." Samson commented. Filia was about to shout at the Parasite, but then she saw something shocking… Mad Dawg's arm was healing! The bone still jutted out, but his whole arm seemed to be shaking, and then jerked about, and the bone seemed to force its way back into his arm, then the wound closed, leaving a notable scar on his arm, but even that faded quickly. "Uh… I'm sorry. What?"

The two women looked to one another, then tentatively, Valentine took out another IV, and the same thing happened. They watched in amazement as Mad Dawg's skin seemed to re-grow over his wound, leaving a faint scar which would disappear within a day or two.

"If I had to guess, he can't heal if there's non-organic material in his body." The Nurse wagered a guess. Mad Dawg's hand jerked over and ripped out the second IV, making him gurgle in pain as blood bubbled up from the wounds, but were quickly cut off when his wound closed. "Well, that… that probably settles it."

"See you… in hell… Vi..r..us…" Mad Dawg weakly spat, before suddenly dropping unconscious once more.

"Well, that was weird." Filia blinked.

"Be careful Fi, I got a bad feelin' about this guy…" Samson grumbled.

Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…

"Ugh… wh..where am I?"

"…Huh?"

"Agh- what… what happened?!"

"Hm? Are you awake?"

"Who…? Who's talking?"

"Hey! Filia! He's awake!"

As Mad Dawg's eyes began to turn back on, he was blinded by a sudden bright white light. He didn't know how long he had been out, where he was, what dimension he was in, but when he came too, Mad Dawg knew three things: 1.) His bones were aching. II.) He was in a hospital of some sort, and C.) He was really hungry…

"Hello? Can you hear me?" A woman with a weird black hairstyle appeared in the room, seeming gravely concerned for Dawg's well-being. "You've been in and out of consciousness all day…"

"…I…wow…uh…sorry, where am I?" Mad Dawg groaned, pulling himself up on the bed and scratching his leg with his foot, finally hitting an itch he couldn't stand anymore.

"You're at the River King Casino, in the heart of New Meridian." Filia said, and noticed Dawg's eyes widen in shock and at the same time, narrow in confusion.

"New… Meridian? Where's that?" He muttered.

"It's one of the major cities in the Canopy Kingdom."

"I'm sorry, the what?" Mad Dawg groaned, turning his head, and his neck cracked audibly as he looked to each side.

"The Canopy Kingdom. Are you retarded or something!?" Samson growled, making himself known.

"Samson! Leave him alone!" Filia snapped. Mad Dawg just gave the Parasite a flat look, seeming way too calm about what he was staring at. This didn't go unnoticed by the two talking to him.

"Maybe, but at least I have a body." Mad Dawg said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and flipping Samson off. "Okay… New Meridian? Crap… I was last with Toxin… and I abandoned him like an asshole… and then I met up with those Sayian guys… hung out there, went through that port- Okay, yeah. I'm not from here."

"We figured." Filia nodded.

Dawg was going to counter-sass that, and explain what he meant, but something stopped him. Why? Why should he explain that? If they accepted he wasn't from around here, he should lean into that. The last thing he needed was to get dragged into some crazy shenanigans… He stood up, and immediately was face-down on the floor. That wasn't what he had planned, but it seemed like what was happening.

Wincing in pain for him, Filia gently pried him off the ground, disgusted by the caked blood and drying wounds on his body. Sure, his ability to heal was incredible! But that didn't change that he had been impaled in several places and was now lying in a pool of his own blood. Sighing, Filia got him back onto the bed, and then turned around, only to hear a rustling of what she assumed was sheets, until…

"Kid! WAIT!" Samson cried out. Filia whirled around, and saw… nothing. The filthy bedsheets, and an open window. But no newcomer.

"Where'd he go!?" She demanded, knowing the answer, but having a hard time believing it.

While he was wearing nothing but a thin hospital gown, Mad Dawg stood atop a roof, looking out in awe over the new city he found himself in. There as a vibrant sense of life that he wanted to try and explain, but it felt like any and all attempts would be pointless, as you had to be here to see the beauty. It seemed to be as big as Numbani, but had an older look to it. Some of the buildings reminded him of King's Row, and he felt a pang of guilt when that came up… there were some great memories there, but also a lotta terrible ones…

"Agh! Come on!" Mad Dawg mentally kicked himself. "You JUST went through HELL to get over this! The past is the past. You can't change it."

Jumping off the roof, Mad Dawg rolled along another roof and took off running, looking over his shoulder as he went. He was used to being chased, hunted, shot at (technically that encompassed the previous two thoughts, but whatever), but this time… that wasn't happening. Well, so he thought. He was being followed, but not by anyone who had ill intent, quite the opposite! However, they also had clear reservations about what had just happened earlier in the day, so they kept to cover as they traversed the rooftops after him. Mad Dawg's bones clicked and creaked, his body telling him to slow down, to let it work it's mutant-magic and repair him! But right now, a sense of dread had overtaken his body, and he was too scared to do anything but run. It felt like everywhere he looked, there were people staring, pointing, whispering questions about him, silently enough that he couldn't hear them…

"Why the hell is this happening again!?" Mad Dawg groaned as he kept running. At first, he wasn't sure where he was going, but then he remembered what T-Bone had always told him to do if he ever woke up somewhere he didn't recognize. He needed to find out some things… Leaning against a wall, he looked at the small bag he managed to make out of the hospital sheet he had ripped. His phone, a Panther Energy Bar, and a picture. Right now, that was everything he had in the world. No shotgun, no chainsaw, no crossbow, no clothes, and above all, not a clue as to where he was!

Mad Dawg frowned. While certain aspects of the city seemed advanced, even beyond what there was at his home (namely the rail trains, giant blimps, and architecture) it didn't appear they were advanced enough to have a ctOS-like system he could exploit… Which, was both a blessing and a curse. On the good side, it meant hiding would be a LOT easier! But it also meant keeping tabs on people and certain other 'activities' would be harder. Well, Dawg didn't mind a challenge! Sliding down a fire escape, Mad Dawg made sure no one was looking, then picked the lock to a building and slipped inside. He wasn't a thief, except for all the times he was, but this wasn't one of those times, so shut up. But all Dawg needed right now was to figure out where the heck he was, and what kinda 'stuff' he was working with… About an hour later, he slipped back out, having made due with what he had, he now had to find something he rarely cared about. Clothes.

"All right, I'm in some place called 'New Meridian' in the heart of the 'Canopy Kingdom'. That stuff was told to me by that woman earlier, and her story checks out." Mad Dawg thought as he descended down to the streets, the figure who had been chasing him looking up from a bowl of noodles she had been working on when he re-appeared. Nearly choking on them, she hurried off to keep pace. Mad Dawg dug for a moment through the racks of clothes, grabbing some track shorts, and a t-shirt. He still had his hat on, but the rest of his clothes- well, he assumed they were back at the hospital, or casino, or wherever he had been. He'd get them back. He needed to. He wasn't crazy about how these clothes looked, but considering they were the only things that fit him – and more importantly, were free – he couldn't complain too much. Now that he had clothes, some information, he needed what Wrench always told him was most important. WEAPONS. It took a few minutes of walking, but he finally found a gun store and pushed the metal door open, entering.

"Hey."

"Howdy, fella." The man waved. "What can I do ya, for?"

"Buckshot, 12 gauge." Mad Dawg answered, crouching down and looking behind the glass at the different bullets available. Typically, buying ammo at a 'legit' store wasn't his first choice, namely due to the security systems in place. BUT, everything he had picked up thus far was that the tech here was… lacking, for lack of a better term, and it'd be easier for him to slip about.

"Just need t'see yer licence and identification." The store owner remarked. "Get those out, and you'll be blastin' bucks in no time!"

"Uh, yeah. Hang on." Mad Dawg nodded, frowning slightly, pretending to reach for his non-existent wallet. "Damn it." He mentally cursed. "I should've expected this…"

"Crap." Mad Dawg cursed, annoyed. "Hey, hate t'do this to ya, but I need to run home. I left my wallet on the counter."

"Ah, no harm, no fowl!" The store keeper shrugged, nodding in understanding. He didn't think Mad Dawg was trying to illegally buy ammo (which he was, but shhhhh…) but paid him no mind. As Mad Dawg left, he began to think, and something occurred to him.

For the first time in possibly ever, he had a fresh start! A new world where no one knew who he was, or what he had done! After everything he had been through, didn't he deserve a break? Why should he risk life and limb for someone else's issues!? As far as he was concerned, he was done playing hero! It had gotten him almost nothing but trouble, pain and injuries! Which were also pain, but he wasn't thinking about that at the moment. He looked back at the gun store, and frowned. Did he even NEED his weapons?

Yes. Absolutely.

But he didn't need to carry them, or even use them.

He's rather have them, then someone else for a whole host of reasons, ranging from legal to personal, but if he could get them back, then he'd stash them away somewhere. Hopefully, he'd never need to break them out again. As weird as it sounded, Mad Dawg didn't want to use them! Wow, that felt like a poison on his tongue, but he wasn't wrong, either. If he could blend in as something inconspicuous, then why blow that? Something quiet and out of the way! Like… a record store salesman, or… a janitor!

"Hey, yeah… a janitor!" Mad Dawg thought, and then an idea hit him. He considered it, and then nodded. "That just might work…"

"All right, thanks Nadia." Filia sighed, hanging up the phone and exhaling. "She lost him."

"Is that good or bad?" Samson asked aloud, looking to his hostess. Filia shrugged, biting her lip nervously.

"I can't say. I wish I could find him, and at least make sure he's okay! And then maybe ask him what the heck is deal was, but he could be on his way outta the Kingdom by now! You remember how easy it was to get around unnoticed, right?"

"Yeah, but some dude in a hospital gown might draw attention." Samson countered.

"Sure, but he could easily just get some new clothes, and then we're never gonna find him!"

"Howdy." Mad Dawg commented, having walked up behind her, wearing new clothes.

"AAAH!" Filia shrieked, jumping back as she realized Mad Dawg was standing beside her, and had been for who knew how long.

"Nine seconds." Mad Dawg commented, looking up to the narrator.

Ah, thanks.

"Wh-wh-wh-what!? How?!" She stammered out in shock.

"I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about, esé." Mad Dawg frowned. "If this is about me vanishing, don't freak, I just needed some fresh air."

"You need medical attention! You need-" Filia began in flustered protest, but stopped when she saw he seemed fine! "You… you're fine." She blinked, then narrowed her eyes. "How?"

"I just am."

"That's not a satisfactory answer."

"Neither was your hospital set up." Mad Dawg countered evenly. Filia huffed, not wanting to admit that the 'hospital' in the medical wing was more or less thrown together and then not used, as anyone who needed attention would be taken to a real hospital.

"Who are you?" Filia asked, deciding to try and get some answers.

"Th'name's Mad Dawg." Mad Dawg introduced himself.

"…not gonna lie, I kinda of expected you to have some weird-ass name, but I wasn't expecting Mad Dog." Samson admitted, making himself known once more. Now that his guts weren't falling out, Mad Dawg realized that Samson was real, and his reaction was mild surprise.

"It's 'Dawg', not 'Dog', dawg, you pronounce the 'aw' more than the 'og' in the second half." Mad Dawg corrected.

"Thanks for further proving my point."

"Samson!" Filia hissed.

"Eh, I get that all the time." Mad Dawg shrugged. "Aye… so, you said this was a casino, right?"

"Y..yeah… How are you…?" Filia began, taken aback by the fact that Dawg could stand. She wanted to ask him so many questions, but had a feeling asking the wrong one might make him turn and flee again, and tracking him down would be a pain.

"I heal, really fast."

"Damn. What did they make you out of?" Samson remarked, genuinely impressed.

"It's a long story." Mad Dawg sighed. "And not one I'm ready to go into."

"Hrgh. Whatever." The Parasite scoffed, trying to seem indifferent, but he understood all too well what that meant.

"Where are you from?" Filia asked.

"Uh, outta town." Dawg coughed, wanting to avoid this conversation.

"You mean like the Chess Kingdom?"

"No, further…"

"No Man's Land?"

"No, further than that…"

"Kid you need to work with us here!" Samson said, annoyed. "Yer clearly on somethin', smashing through the roof like that. A normal person doesn't break every bone in their body then jump out a window, so cut the crap and tell us the truth!"

"Hermano, if I told you the truth, pensarías que estoy loco." Mad Dawg scoffed, commenting the last half of his statement in spanish for reasons he didn't know.

"Pruebanos." Samson replied, and Mad Dawg seemed taken aback. "Yeah, I speak Spanish, what about it?"

"Huh." He blinked. "Well, fine. You wanna know where I'm from?"

"Yes, that's what this whole conversation has been so far."

"I'm not from this DIMENSION." Mad Dawg stated flatly, and the two blinked in surprise. "I'm not lying."

"Bulls***." Samson spat.

"Where's my bag?" Mad Dawg asked, looking around.

"Hey, kid? You need to sit down." Filia ordered, Samson picking up Dawg and setting him down on the bed. "You are way to broken and battered to move! The fact that you were running around isn't a good thing!"

"I'm fine!" Mad Dawg waved dismissively. "I've been through worse."

"Sure." Samson scoffed.

"If you don't believe me, get me my bag, and I'll prove you wrong." Mad Dawg sighed. Filia blinked, then shrugged, willing to entertain his request. She left the room, and returned with Dawg's messenger bag. Taking his small laptop out, Dawg powered it up and waited, noting that he should back this stuff up at some point, as his laptop had some cracks, chips and damage on it. After a minute, he audibly cracked his spine as he sat up.

"So, this is me." Mad Dawg began, showing an image of himself.

"Okay."

"This is, or was, my home." Mad Dawg continued, swiping left, showing a picture of him in Gibraltar. Filia looked down indifferently, but her eyes widened when she saw someone.

"Is that…"

"His name, is Zenyatta." Mad Dawg stated. "He's an Omnic Monk, essentially a robot with human emotions and thoughts." Pulling up a video, Mad Dawg spent the next ten minutes explaining his past, showing where he came from, and ultimately destroying any counter argument Filia could think of. Samson had to admit, real or fake, this stuff was pretty damn entertaining. Someone should make a movie outta that stuff…

Mad Dawg didn't like that his plan of 'not telling people where I'm from' had gone out the window so quickly, but at the same time, if it got Filia off his back, or at least willing to listen to him, then fine. He'd explain his past to her. He didn't explain his past with Moira, or his time in hell, but he showed enough that it was convincing enough.

"So, how'd you get here?" The Parasite asked after a few minutes.

"This is gonna sound crazy, but I need you to follow me." Mad Dawg frowned, pulling a video up. "I've been trying to go home for a while now. I met this genius, and she thought she figured out what I was doing wrong, and created a sort-of teleporter to get me home… well…" Mad Dawg turned the laptop around.

A camera flickered to life, and then spun as if it was thrown. The sound of small engines whirring could be heard as Mad Dawg cracked his shoulder. He stood in what looked like both a stripped-down, but more advanced than some of the Labs Filia had been to. It occurred to them he was using a small drone to record this as he looked around.

"Okay! This is… attempt number four!" Mad Dawg remarked, looking to the drone, then back to the platform. "Yo, Mrs. Briefs! This thing all good?"

"I… can't guarantee anything, but the calculations should at least push you beyond this world." The blue-haired scientist commented as she looked up from the computer. "Skorch's power boost may be enough to break through the reality wall that he's described, but I can't guarantee anything else. You do know this could also backfire, right? I'm not totally comfortable with sending a kid to his death."

"Meh, last time one of these backfired, I ended up in hell for a few months." Mad Dawg shrugged as if that wasn't a big deal, slinging his bag over his back. "All right! Thanks for your help, Capsule Corp.! I'll probably be back, sooner or later… oh, and remember, there's two of them, and there will be more!"

"Take care, kid! And thanks for whatever that means!" A man in an orange training jumpsuit waved. Turning back to the platform, Mad Dawg exhaled and stepped onto the platform. Electricity crackled, and a blue vortex appeared. Mad Dawg exhaled, and stepped through. The drone followed, everything briefly going white, then filming a beautiful display of lights for a few seconds… then everything became bright blue. Mad Dawg looked around, then looked at the drone.

"Wait. Why am I so far up in the- oh, crap."

The drone looked down, and Filia gasped when she realized that Mad Dawg was miles high above the casino.

"DAMN YOU, SKKOOORRRRCCCHHHHH!" Mad Dawg yelled as he fell, the drone followed, catching up about thirty seconds later, flying in through the hole in the roof, seeing Samson carrying Mad Dawg off.

"…holy crap." The Parasite muttered. "You… but… I mean… okay, I take it back, maybe you're tellin' the truth."

"No problem, Venom." Mad Dawg coughed, still feeling weak. "Man, I've gotta eat something, soon."

"Oh, I'll have the staff bring you something, if you'd like." Filia offered.

"Thanks, Ms. Filia." Mad Dawg nodded. He noted Filia stifled a laugh, clearly not someone who was used to being called that. Still, better to be chivalrous than chaotic… Wait. No, it wasn't. "So, is there a better place we can talk?" Mad Dawg groaned, cracking his bones as his body continued to repair itself. Filia bit her lip, but nodded nonetheless leading Dawg out of the emergency medical room as they walked towards her office. "Holy- this place is beautiful!" Mad Dawg blinked, turning around in surprise as he walked. Filia smiled at that, there was something so… real about his reactions. Still, there was something bugging her as they passed by the hallway where Dawg crashed into.

"…how did you get up there?" She asked, opening the door to her office. She sort-of knew the answer, but wanted to hear Mad Dawg explain it.

"Ugh… like you saw, inter-dimensional portal crap." Mad Dawg grumbled, shaking his head. "Was dealin' with some stuff, finished that, jumped into that portal to try and go home, it dumped me above this place and I fell."

"I mean, I don't know how to explain it, and I'm really skeptical, but… you're here, you're ALIVE, you have video of you going into said portal, and there's a massive hole in the roof. I can't think of any counter-arguments."

Mad Dawg leaned against his hand as he listened, his face having a clear 'Yup, I've heard ALL of this way, way, way too many times… yes, this is real. No, I'm not lying. If you don't believe me, that's on you.' However, he nodded when Filia got to the end of her comment, and he bit his lip, casting a glance back towards the door which led to the hallway he crashed into.

"Listen… do you guys need a janitor or a chef or somethin'?" Mad Dawg tentatively asked, clearly both awkward and embarrassed about what he was asking. "Cause… I kinda feel really bad about smashing through your roof, and I'm cool with working here to pay the damages off." Well, that was only partially true, but hey, better to have a good cover story in his opinion.

"Really?" Filia asked, surprised. "Well… sure! You can work as a janitor for the time being, if you're okay with that, and we'll figure out the costs later."

"…that sounds a lot like slavery, but okay." Mad Dawg shrugged. "And yeah, I'm fine with it. It's my fault there's a hole in the roof."

"This time…" Samson muttered.

"Has this happened before?" Mad Dawg asked with a raised brow, looking to the Parasite. "Also, what the hell are you?" Adding his question as more of an afterthought. He had seen a lot of weird stuff, but this? Living hair? That was certainly different. "Because that is freaking AWESOME."

"Yeah, we've had people go through it from the ground, but never through it from the air." Samson commented, chuckling slightly. "T'answer yer question, I'm a parasite, we're a thing here."

"Really? You're a parasite?" Mad Dawg asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah. You've seen one before?"

"Three, actually. Sorta." Mad Dawg nodded. "Except we referred to them as 'symbiotes', and they covered their host completely. One of them actually kinda looked like you, but more… monstrous and badass. We called him Venom."

"And the other two?"

"One was a mixture of the first one and the other one. The other one was made out of the blood of a serial killer and was a freakin' sociopath who killed Arceus knows how many people… I'm talking body count in the hundreds of thousands. Easily."

"Damn…" Samson frowned. "Were you connected to any of them?"

"Briefly, I was connected with the second one, Toxin." Mad Dawg nodded. "He was the combination of Venom and Carnage, but he wasn't an asshole like Carnage… it… it's a tale even I don't fully understand, and I was there!"

"Huh, well…" Filia said listening to Mad Dawg's tale. It sounded crazy, but she had seen him walk through some sort of portal and end up above the casino, fall through said roof, and be relatively okay. "This isn't a personal attack, it's for the safety of those that work here, as well as anyone who comes here. Did you bring any of that with you?"

"Nope. Just came with my bag, the clothes I'm wearing, my amazing personality, and an inability to die." Mad Dawg answered. "Oh, you mean the Symbiotes? No, Toxin and I separated a while ago. He knew that what I wanted wasn't what he wanted, so we mutually split. We were good to one another for a time, but he wanted to stay in one place, I wanted to travel and find a way home. As for the other two, Venom is currently saving lives, and Carnage is dead. Again. I hope."

"You hope?"

"Long story."

"Fair." Filia frowned. "Don't take this the wrong way, but is there anything we should be concerned about concerning your past?"

"Uh, if there's a firefight, it probably was my fault." Mad Dawg admitted.

"Fire..fight? Sorry, you have a gu-"

thunk

Mad Dawg produced his double-barrel shotgun from… somewhere, and set it on the table. Then drew out his crossbow, and his chainsaw, putting them on the desk.

"My life is weird…" He finally said.

"…we're keeping these for the time being." Filia said in a tone that made it clear this was non-negotiable. "It's nothing against you-"

"-It's just safety, blah, blah, blah, I know!" Dawg finished dismissively. "Honestly… I don't want these right now. I'm done being the hero." He paused, then added: "Any supernatural forces I need to worry about in this world?"

"Do you know about the Skull Heart?"

"The what?"

"The Skull Heart, and by extension, the Skullgirl." Filia asked. Mad Dawg stared at her in confusion.

"That some sorta punk rock band?" He asked, skeptically.

"How the hell do you not know about this!?" Samson demanded.

"I'm from another dimension?" Mad Dawg flatly retorted. Samson opened his mouth to respond, then paused, realizing that was a fair point.

"Samson, please." Filia sighed, rubbing her face somewhat before addressing Dawg again. "No. It's a, well, I'm pretty sure it's a demonic artifact that can grant any woman her wish, but it can also turn someone into a monster if they're impure and-"

"Okay, hold on." Mad Dawg said holding his hands up. He inexplicably walked away, then returned a few moments later after the sound of bubbling water came from a corner. Coughing, Dawg sat back down, his eyes turning pinkish-red. "Okay, go."

"…so, every seven years, this Skull Heart returns. It will grant a woman her wish-" Filia began again.

"Wait, only women? Can't tell if that's progressive or sexist…" Mad Dawg cut in again, deep in thought.

"…are you done?"

"I dunno. Are you?"

"Ugh… but if the woman who holds it is not of pure heart, she becomes the Skullgirl." Filia concluded. "Whom in turn will cause untold death and chaos."

"Wow…" Mad Dawg breathed. "I was not NEARLY high enough to give a flying **** if what you told me is true. Let me ask you something, can this Skull Heart send me home?" Mad Dawg asked flatly.

"Well, most likely no. But-"

"Then screw it, and the horse it rode in on, I don't care." Mad Dawg said dismissively, waving as if this conversation was over as he left the room. "I ain't gettn' involved with it! Just leave me to my janitorial duties, if you don't mind."

"He's kind of a dick." Samson remarked once the door had closed.

"I mean, the kid's got a point." Filia admitted with a shrug. "Why should he risk his life and possibly die… again, if the thing can't send him home?"

As Mad Dawg walked down a hall to get better acquainted with his new workspace, he passed a young boy and paid him no mind, not seeing the figure watching him from around a corner.

"Yeah, yeah he's here." The figure spoke into a phone. "Yeah, no. This won't be an issue, I'll let you know when he's ready."