Spike felt Buffy's warmth move away from him in the bed and a lightness to the mattress as she got up, waking him from his sleep. "And where do you think you're going?" He murmured without opening his eyes.

"This was a mistake, I've gotta get back to Dawn before she goes to school." Buffy said, hovering by the bed. Spike's eyes widened and he sat up in a panic, looking at a smiling Buffy. "Joke." And then she clocked his reaction. "A too soon joke?" Spike exhaled and let his head fall into his hands.

"That is not the way I need to wake up, love." Spike laughed dryly. "But while we're on it, yes, much too bloody soon." Buffy smiled warmly and crawled back onto the bed, maintaining eye contact with him.

"Well seeing as it's been about 2 years since I've said anything like that, can it really be - " Buffy inched closer to Spike's lips, he failed to look directly at her.

"Yes." Spike said, harsher than he meant it. She looked at him quizzically, not understanding his serious tone.

Spike sighed and got out of the bed, leaving Buffy atop of it, and pulling on some trousers. "Do you want a drink? I need a mug of blood."

"Spike…" Buffy's words stopped him from leaving the room. "What just happened?"

Spike sighed again. "Nothing. Let's just leave it, hey." And he continued to the kitchen.

Buffy followed him into the kitchen, having pulled on her underwear and own shirt. He was faffing with the kettle, another action she didn't think she'd see of him. "Spike?" She said softly.

"Buffy, just leave it." Spike still wasn't looking at her.

"Spike, we've got… stuff, I know. Past stuff that's not so stellar for either of us," Spike scoffed, dropped the mug in his hand on the tabletop, and looked at her incredulously.

"You think that's understating it a bit?" Spike asked.

"I'm well aware of our history." Buffy reminded him.

"Exactly, Buffy." Spike replied.

"But it's water under the bridge." Buffy said firmly.

Spike scoffed again, and Buffy was getting irritated by it. "It's not under the bridge. It'll never be under the bridge, or over the bloody dam, or anywhere else you want to put it. It can't be, not ever. You think we've got stuff, Buffy? I will never get over what I tried…" He paused, gritting his teeth, refusing to even say the words. "And you… as funny as you might think jumping out of bed and saying it was a mistake was, for me… that's just what I'm used to with us. What I expect. You pull away. You always have. You can't blame me for thinking that'll never change, and you can't blame me for believing that you have every bloody right to." Spike paused, looking at the ground. "Buffy, the letter…"

"Spike, I explained - " Buffy began, taking a small step towards him.

"No, let me get this out. Your letter… it disabused me of any notion that you and I could ever… and in fact it was a relief. I could never deserve you and you knew that. Even now… I'm still a vampire, Buffy."

"You have a soul." Buffy replied, angrier than she was intending. What he was saying, it stung.

"It doesn't matter. You deserve more. You deserve someone who can give you a future." Spike smiled sadly.

"Of COURSE it matters." Buffy said through gritted teeth. "You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of other people telling me what I deserve, what I need. I'm sorry, ok? It was a bad joke, I see that now, the past, it's a touchy subject, and we can call it off limits - "

"Buffy…" Spike nodded his head sadly.

"Shut up, just shut up, ok." She said exasperated, scared for where that sentence was going. She took a breath, and then started again softer. "I get it. I know when I tell you I love you, you don't believe me. I get where that comes from, I get you may struggle to believe me." She stepped towards him, taking his hand in hers and forcing his gaze on her. "But I need you. This is real. I wasn't ready to believe that. And I'm sorry for coming here and springing this on you, but Spike, and I am completely in love with you. Trust me, if there was any way not to be, I would have found it by now. I love you, and that is not going to change, and I'm not going away because you think I need something else. I have sacrificed my whole life for my calling, and now I get to finally make some decisions for myself. And I am choosing you for myself. I know, I know other things have gotten in the way and our past is an unbelievable mess. But I am here right now for you, choosing you, and I'm going to make you believe it." She reached her hand to his cheek.

Spike felt a pit in his stomach, and a warmth in his chest completely foreign. He wanted to argue with her, against her logic, that there's no happy ending here, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. She was all he wanted, for the longest time. Spike relaxed his head into Buffy's hand, and she pulled him close. "Starting with this…" She pulled away from Spike's embrace slightly, so that he was looking questioningly at her. "Spike, will you let me take you out on a date?"

Spike laughed softly. "A date, Slayer? With the flowers and the dinner and the hand-holding?"

Buffy smiled and felt a blush almost creep up from her neck to her cheeks. "Don't ruin it. Will you go on a date with me?"

Spike smiled warmly. "I will." And he lowered his lips to her, as she let his weight fall gently on her.