J is for Jet Ranger

Maru suspected that there was going to be trouble the moment he noticed that base had gone quiet. Over the years the mechanic had discovered that while yelling could be concerning, silence outside of the depths of winter should be approached with an appropriate level of terror. The fact that there were currently guests on base only made Maru's mechanics senses ratch up to 10.

The rivalry between firefighter and the police so well known it was practically a meme. Practical jokes between departments were common, and mostly done in good fun…but Maru wasn't 100% sure that the smokejumpers fully understood where the boundary between fun and harassment fully lay. So the fact that there was currently a small flock of police helicopters currently in Blade's hangar hashing out emergency plans, cause Maru to start to feel a bubble of panic raise up in the bottom of his engine.

Eventually, Maru gave up on trying to get work done, put down his tools, and decided to go head this problem off at the pass. The problem was the smokejumpers weren't in any of the places they usually were when they were scheming away. They were not their hangar or hanging out behind the fuel tanks. They were not in their 'secret' hide out in the woods that was in fact viewable from the Chief's office window. They weren't even in Cabbie's hangar trying to snitch something. Getting to his wits end, Maru finally decided to check the main hangar in the vain hope that maybe the smokejumpers had, in fact, been responsible and were watching a movie or something.

The main hangar was nearly as empty as most of the places that Maru had checked, but there was a light on the kitchen and as the tug watched he saw a familiar shape come out of the pantry. Blackout was one of the only vehicles on base that truly belonged in the base's kitchen…but if Blackout was here, Maru couldn't help but wonder where the rest of the crew was. As casually as he could manage the tug rolled up and tried to get some answers.

"Hey, Blackout…" Maru said as he approached.

The sound cased Blackout to let out a short meep of surprise as he nearly dropped the can he was holding. He looked up at Maru a bit guilty, which of course made the mechanic concerned, but there didn't seem to be any evidence of wrongdoing in the kitchen so Maru assumed that he must of misread the situation.

"So, where is everyone?"

"Oh!" Blackout instantly relaxed. "Dynamite decided to take the entero group to the next valley. That is way the base stayed tranquilo for the Jefe's meeting."

Maru nodded slightly it made sense. Dynamite knew just how disruptive the smokejumpers could be when they had excess time on their hands. It was probably best for them to be out in the field burning off excess energy instead of on base causing trouble. But that didn't explain why Blackout had been left behind.

"And you got left behind why?"

"To make dinner, pro supuesto." Blackout said with a forced grin which made Maru suspect that the little vehicle would have preferred to be out with his fellow's verse left in the kitchen. "We have so many guests that I needed to get started early."

"Ah…" Maru tried to peek around the smaller vehicle only to find Blackout parked in front of him preventing him from moving forward. "And you are making."

"Chili principalmente." Blackout said with a nod. "Pero si puedes guardar un secreto…"

"Blackout of course I can keep a secret."

The smokejumper grinned the motioned for Maru to join him in the kitchen. A moment later Blackout opened the freezer to display what appeared to be an ice cream cake decorated in the shape of a doughnut. All of the sudden Blackout's caginess made a lot more sense, cake was still undecorated, and the base's best cook hated presenting bake goods that were half ready.

"Ah…" Maru sighed the last of his worries fading away. "I love the police officer theme you chose for dessert. I am sure that our visitors will love it."

Blackout just beamed at him, then shooed Maru out of his turf. Now convinced that the smokejumper's were not in fact planning to cause mayhem on their guests, the mechanic allowed himself to go back to work. Little did Maru know that he, like the Jet Rangers currently parked in Blade's hangar were about to fall for the smokejumper's prank hook line and sinker.

The sun had sunk low on the horizon by the time the dusty crew of smokejumpers rolled back on to base. And it wasn't a moment too soon, because based on the rumblings coming from Blade's hangar their guests were getting hangar. The smokejumpers didn't even bother washing up. They just headed inside the main hangar and started helping Blackout set up for dinner. By the time the rest of the vehicles on base joined them, the table had already been set with steaming bowls of chili.

"5-alarm chili!" Blackout proudly announced to his guests as he rolled up to his own spot on at the table.

"It is one of the base's most popular recipes." Blade explained as he motioned the four Jet Ranger helicopters towards the bowls that had been set out for them and tucking into a bowl himself.

As always chili was warm, with a complex mix of peppers that brought both heat and spice to the dish. Swallowing his first mouthful of the savory stew, Blade glanced at his guests to see how they were enjoying it only to be greeted four sets pained, watering eyes. Clearing seeing his guests' distress Blade nudged the basket of cornbread towards them, which the helicopters instantly pounced on.

"Well…" The most senior helicopter finally managed to stammer between mouthfuls of cornbread. "I can see why you call it 5-alarm chili."

"Are you going to finish that?" Windlifter asked the helicopter next to him, having licked his own bowl clean during all the commotion.

"Go ahead." The Jet Ranger actually looked relieved at the skycrane's request.

It was then that Blade noticed that something was amiss. All of the smokejumpers had stopped eating and had their eyes glued on the Windlifter. The Chief had to bite his tongue to keep himself from swearing knowing full well that Blackout must have added a bit extra 'spice' to their guest's bowls. Luckily for everyone's sake, Windlifter proved to be more of a chilly head then anyone could ever imagine, and he slurped up entire bowl without a second thought. Moments later, Windlifter had three more bowls sitting in front of him as the jet rangers attempted to dispose of their chili in the politest way possible.

The rest of the dinner proved uneventful. Blackout, as always, had done his best to make sure there was plenty of food of food on the table, so the guests were able to eat their fill of cornbread and salad. The police helicopters even laughed when the smokejumpers rolled out of the kitchen with the oversized, doughnut shaped ice cream cake. The conversation was good, but circled back to the fact that the police officers were impressed by just how much heat the firefighters could take…and it was shocking that the various firefighters in the room managed to keep their mouths shut instead of spilling the beans on their prank. It was only after the four jet rangers had excused themselves from the table to get some fresh air and the smokejumpers started to clear the table did the Chief manage to get to the bottom of things.

"How many ghost peppers did you put in our guest's chili?" Blade asked as soon as he managed to quietly corner Blackout.

"Just cinco…" Blackout admitted refusing to meet the Chief's eyes.

"And how many do you usually add to the 5-alarm chili?"

"Half of one…" The smokejumper while quietly pawing on the ground with his front right tire.

"I thought so." Blade sighed as he rolled towards the door.

"Wait?" Blackout looked up in confusion. "You mean I am not in trouble?"

The helicopter sighed heavily and rolled back in front of their camp's unofficial cook. "While you technically played a prank, based on the way that Windlifter inhaled the leftovers from that particular pot, it was clear the chili was still completely edible. And you were kind enough to at least give them some ice cream at the end of the meal to help cut the burn so the chili wouldn't be as painful on the way out as the way in."

"So, I am not in trouble." Blackout attempted to confirm.

"No." Blade spoke with finality. "No, you are not in trouble. You are also not allowed to make 5-alarm chili…modified or not…for guests again. Understood."

"Understood." Blackout's face was split by a grin that instantly made Blade worry about their future dinner guests. But that was a battle for a future day. For now he needed to get his guests bedded down for the night and then chew Maru out for letting the smokejumpers pull off a prank right under his nose.

Bell 206 Jet Ranger: Considered to be one of the most iconic helicopter airframes ever developed, it was originally created for a competition to see which company could design the best observation helicopter for US Navy. The military version of the aircraft is designated as the Bell OH-58 Kiowa, while those manufactured for civilian and commercial use received the designation Bell 206 Jet Ranger. Is know to be stable in a wider variety of climates then typical helicopter. Because of this the Jet Ranger and its variants are popular choices for use in law enforcement, firefighting, medi-evac, and research work. The Jet Ranger began production in 1962 and came on the market in 1967. Manufacturing of the Jet Ranger was discontinued in 2017 and it was formally replaced by the Bell 505 Jet Ranger X.

Over 7,300 of these helicopters were produced and many of these air frames are still flying today. Because of this the Jet Ranger and its military equivalent, the Kiowa are one of the more common helicopters to find in aerospace museums.