Chapter 16
Time seemed to stretch into infinity while Lilly waited for Miley to tell her side of the story. Miley held a log over the languid fire. The flames reached up and licked around the wood. The fine hairs on Miley's arm stood on end, golden against the warm light. She tossed the log into the fireplace. The aroma of wood and charcoal filled the room.
"I'll go get us some blankets." Miley pushed herself to her feet.
She returned dressed in an oversized sweater, and with two blankets in her hands one of which she handed to Lilly.
Lilly huddled inside the woolen fabric, grateful for the extra warmth it provided, but when Miley returned to her silent stare into the flames, the chill of uncertainty returned. "Miley?"
Miley tensed her shoulders.
"I need to know what happened."
Miley closed her eyes. "It was an accident."
She remained silent as Lilly waited for her to continue, and the longer they stared at each other in silence, the deeper the lines across Miley's forehead became.
"You have to believe me."
"You'll have to give me more than that."
Rain pelted against the windows.
Miley twisted her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. "Durin' the show, Mikalya and I became friends. We encouraged an' supported one another. I would never have done anythin' to hurt her… I promise you." The dancing flames reflected in Miley's moist eyes. "I don't think either of us expected to end up competin' against each other. We started out as fifty girls, then forty, thirty… and eventually, it was just the two of us. Mikayla became increasingly dismissive as the show progressed, and when it became clear that we woulda to compete against each other, she refused to speak to me. I-I told her that the competition shouldn't affect our friendship, but Mikayla was certain she couldn't trust me anymore. She was real determined to win."
The logs popped and crackled, and embers leaped from the fire.
"And you weren't?"
"Not to that degree. If God wanted me to win, I would, and if he didn't, I wouldn't." Miley rose and walked into the foyer.
Clattering came from the kitchen, followed by the bubbling of boiling water.
Lilly rapped her fingers against the russet floorboards. Miley was obviously trying to delay the conversation, but Lilly understood. The story did not end well.
Miley returned with two steaming mugs, one of which she handed to Lilly. Peppermint scent rose in warm swaths from the mug. Miley blew across the steaming corn-colored liquid, took a sip, and clanked the mug on the beige stone-paved floor in front of the fireplace.
She sighed. "I woulda loved to win. Otherwise, I would not have competed… but we were rootin' for each other the entire time. If Mikayla had won, I woulda been happy for her. In any case, it woulda been a bittersweet endin'." Miley gnawed on her bottom lip. "The locker room was crammed with prop boxes. I didn't know that the rapier was real. I mean… I-I shoulda noticed it weren't plastic or at least noticed the weight. I was real stupid. It should never have happened."
Lilly's fingers tightened around her hot mug.
"I… I joked that we should settle our dispute with a sword fight. She told me to stop because I was only tryin' to distract her from her upcomin' performance. I shoulda listened to her… shoulda put it back… but I couldn't. I had so many friends back then, but I couldn't bear the thought of losin' even one. I couldn't bear the thought of someone thinkin' negatively of me." Miley opened her mouth, but no words came out.
She exhaled a shuddering breath. "I-I was playin' with the rapier… pretendin' to attack her… tryin' to get her to join me in the fun. I think she told me to stop messin' around. But this only fueled my determination. I had done nothin' wrong. Then she turned around and… and I-I… the blade… I slashed her across the face." Miley wrapped the blanket around her head and buried her face between her knees. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt her."
A lump had formed in Lilly's throat that she couldn't swallow no matter how hard she tried. "It's not your fault, you know? You couldn't possibly have known."
The fire crackled and glowing sparks flew from the counterbored logs.
For a minute Lilly remained silent, not daring to press Miley to tell her more. But so many questions remained unanswered. "Mikayla seemed legit upset about what happened."
"I ruined her life."
Lilly tugged at the fibers of the Persian rug. "Yeah, I mean, she thinks you did it on purpose."
"How could she not?"
"Is that why she told you to… injure yourself?" Lilly had intended to say cut your face, but it sounded too off-putting.
Miley shrugged.
"Isn't that why she's bullying you?"
Miley's blanket-clad head moved in a nod.
How had Mikayla gotten everyone on her side when it was obvious Miley would never intentionally hurt anyone? "Mikayla isn't the only one who thinks you did it on purpose." Lilly let the implication linger.
"After the accident, she'd already started telling people in middle school that I'd disfigured her so I could win the show. At first, my friends believed me, but the more people she got on her side, the more skeptical they became. They then began to bully my friends as well."
That sounded awfully familiar. Oliver had warned her.
"They ignored me, and in the end, I was completely alone. Oliver is the only friend who has stayed by my side. I mean, he ignored me too, but he would pay me a visit every now and then."
"I'm sorry." Lilly felt stupid for saying such a platitude, but it was the only thing she could do. "And then you decided to be homeschooled?"
"Yes."
"Was there a reason you wanted to return to Pinewood High?"
"I didn't have much of a choice. It's the only high school in the area."
"You could have stayed homeschooled."
"Then I wouldn't have been able to do a student exchange."
"Was it that important to you?"
"I had no friends, so… "
Oh yeah, right. Damn. Lilly hesitated before placing a sweaty hand on Miley's shoulder.
Miley frowned up at her.
Lilly swallowed. "You have me now."
Miley's wet eyes softened. She closed them and exhaled a trembling breath. "Thank you."
They sipped their tea quietly while watching the glowing hot flames flicker. The tension in Lilly's body dissipated, and a surge of warmth replaced the chill in her veins. Her mind was still racing, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Jake had told her that Miley had been acquitted. That could only mean one thing. "Mikayla did sue you, right?"
"Yes, but I was declared innocent, but… but part of me wishes they hadn't. They couldn't even convict the Talent Show's organizers. They never found out who owned the rapier. Despite my acquittal, I used some of my college savings to pay Mikayla a large sum of money in damages. Daddy warned me not to do it because it would make me seem guilty, but… I just had to."
Had Miley cut her face if Lilly hadn't arrived in the shower room in time? She always seemed to bear the bullying in silence. Mikayla would not have gone so far if Lilly hadn't let the Fakettes influence her and if Miley had been honest from the start. Lilly would have made certain that Principal Keith kept a close eye on Mikayla. Was there anything else Lilly didn't know about Miley? So she wanted to be a singer, and according to Mikayla, even a famous one.
"You believe me, don'tcha?"
Lilly snuggled deeper into the fluffy blanket. "Yeah, I do."
"You've suddenly become real quiet."
"I was just thinking, is all."
"About what?"
"About why you entered the Talent Show." Lilly chose her next words with care. "You don't seem like the type to compete in such an emotionally draining competition."
"I used to be a different person… I think. My family says that I've changed since the accident. When I was in elementary school, I was obsessed with singin', and Daddy was into songwritin', so we kind of formed our own little two-man band. At some point, I wanted more."
"I don't think I've ever heard you sing."
Miley chewed on a nail. "I-I no longer enjoy singin'."
Lilly could see why.
"It would have made no difference whether Mikayla competed against me in the final or not." Miley fiddled with the fringes of her blanket.
"It wouldn't?"
"I'd already been chosen as a winner. The singin' duel would have been purely for show."
"You seem certain about that."
"The A&R manager at New Southern Dimension had contacted me… a few days before the final. They'd already discussed everything with our mayor. They were lookin' for a girl next door. Mikayla lacked the right image for both the record label and Crowley Corners. They said She thinks the sun comes up just to hear her crow.
Lilly could feel the gears in her head turning. "So she can't sing?"
"It means she's vain. She may seem that way at first glance, but she ain't."
A wave of rain lashed against the roof, drowning out the crackling of the fire.
"Did you tell Mikayla you'd already been chosen to win? That would be proof, wouldn't it, that you didn't injure her on purpose?"
Miley let out a long, deep sigh. "I couldn't."
"Why?"
"It just wasn't an option. It still ain't, but it don't matter. It's too late now. They are convinced that I'm a famewhore who would've gone to any length to win."
"But… " Lilly groaned. She had no choice but to accept Miley's decision. "You could've told me all of this sooner. I mean, I understand why you didn't because talking about it is obviously painful, but still… "
"That, an' also… " Miley bowed her head and raised her eyes to meet Lilly's. "I was afraid of pushin' you away."
The irony of this did not escape Lilly's notice. Miley being in stealth mode twenty-four/seven had ultimately made it difficult for Lilly to trust Miley, no matter how much time they spent together.
"Just promise me there will be no more secrets from now on."
Miley dragged the blanket off her head and her brown locks fanned over her shoulders. "I promise."
For the next few days, Mikayla was absent from school. Oliver had stopped staring. Lilly and Miley spent the majority of their time in the barn, lying in the middle of a woody and earthy-smelling haystack. Miley had grown quieter since telling Lilly about the accident at the Talent Show. Lilly wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad sign.
"It's goin' to be a rainy birthday," Miley murmured over the ping-ping-ping of the raindrops on the tin roof above them.
Miley's birthday! In the midst of the chaos, Lilly had forgotten about it.
She checked the calendar in the kitchen. Under November 23, Mr. Stewart had drawn a tiny cake. That was tomorrow.
Jackson hadn't bought a gift either, and they drove to the town center together. Lilly scoured Miley's favorite store, with its frilly dresses and baby-blue wallpaper, for a present. She pulled a loose-fitting summer dress with a lace hem from the rack, ran her fingers through the frills of an expensive velvet blouse, and decided to buy the socks. At the very least, they had pink ruffles at the hem and a rose print on the side. She couldn't afford a more expensive gift. If she hadn't forgotten Miley's birthday, she wouldn't have wasted four months' worth of allowance money on candy and comic books. What was the point of having a loaded mother if she refused to spoil her only child?
Miley's sixteenth birthday party was the polar opposite of Lilly's. Lilly had invited not only her friends to the beach, but also other acquaintances she had met while surfing and at the skate park. She had ordered thirty pizzas, set up massive speakers, and turned up the music so loud that even the crabs and sea shells were headbanging ten thousand feet below.
Miley only celebrated with Mr. Stewart and Jackson, the latter of whom looked like he would rather be somewhere else. Aunt Dolly couldn't make it, and Miley didn't think it was worth inviting the rest of the family because they were either much younger or much older than she was. A homemade apple pie stood on the white-tablecloth-covered living room table, looking less professional than the three-tiered cake Lilly's mother had ordered for her sixteenth birthday. Their pastry forks clinked against the porcelain plates. The fire crackled in the fireplace. Miley cuddled her newly gifted stuffed hedgehog against her chest.
Mr. Stewart helped Miley to a new piece of cake. "How about goin' to the theater in Spring Hill after this?"
"No… the party is great as it is." Miley crushed the cake with her fork, pushed the plate away from her, and slumped against the back of the chair. She stared out the windows, where thick swaths of fog drifted by, blurring the view of the gray sky.
A light swung across the curtains of Lilly's bedroom. The engine of a car rattled, and tires rolled on gravel. The rattle stopped, and the light went out. Lilly had just woken up with a runny nose and her entire body trembling beneath the comforter. Yet again she had forgotten to shut the window. In Malibu, she kept her windows open all year.
She fumbled for her phone but only reached into space. The other side. She still had to get used to her new room. 2:36 a.m. Lilly thumped the phone back on the nightstand and reached for her glass. It was empty. Now that Miley no longer brought her a glass of water before bed, Lilly often had to refill it at night.
She went downstairs and held it under the water stream of the kitchen tap. The hen houses emitted a dim glow into the inky front yard. Not even Jackson got up that early. Lilly had once tried to surprise the Stewarts with buttered toast and scrambled eggs on a Sunday morning. She had snuck into the barn to grab some eggs, but couldn't find any. Mr. Stewart had grinned and explained that hens needed daylight to lay eggs, so they had to wait until sunrise. So, what should someone be doing in the hen house at this hour?
The blurry outline of a person emerged from the shadows of the horse pasture. Their chest-length hair billowed over their shoulders as they walked across the lawn towards the hen hair was too long to be Mr. Stewart's, and too short to be Miley's. Maybe someone got lost and was looking for help.
As they moved toward the hen house, the glow from the windows reflected on their sequined dress, creating a shifting light play. The girl vanished behind the hen house's short side, where the door was located. Warm light poured over the meadow, then the darkness settled back in.
Water sloshed over the rim of Lilly's glass and down her hand, and she fumbled for the tap. The girl had to have the key to the hen house. Could it be the one she had heard screaming? If she was living there, the Stewarts wanted to keep it a secret. Lilly listened in the silence of the kitchen. The ticking of the clock alternated with the dripping of the water tap.
Tick-drip. Tock-drop.
The Stewarts were still asleep. It was the third time she had decided to trust Miley, and while she was certain that nothing could shake her faith now, there were still too many inconsistencies for which she had not received an explanation. Lilly gulped the water in one go and pounded the glass on the counter.
She slipped into her shoes and donned her coat. The wind's ice-cold ghostly fingers clawed at the thin fabric of her pajama pants as she passed the parked pickup truck and crossed the lawn to the hen house. The windows were pitch black again. Was she too late? She knocked and waited. Seconds passed, and the door remained closed. Clouds glided in front of the moon, and the front yard plunged into complete darkness. Lilly's lit bedroom window appeared to be a floating rectangle in the air. It was a mistake to leave the cottage. No one would open the door. Hell, Lilly suddenly wished nothing more than for the door to stay closed.
A yellow light glowed a little further to her left, and she swung around. A rustic lantern sat on one of the wooden fence posts that surrounded the horse pasture. A horse neighed. The girl stepped into the wind swept her blond hair over her chubby cheeks before she turned to Blue Jeans. A single look at her face had been enough.
It was Hannah Montana.
Lilly's stomach fluttered. Hannah must have figured out where she lived. She was serious about her after all. Lilly shuffled across the wet grass, closer and closer, until she stopped a few feet behind her. Blue Jeans chomped oats from her palm.
"Be careful he doesn't bite your fingers."
Hannah reeled around, and the oats scattered across the grass.
Warmth spread up Lilly's neck and into her cheeks. She wiped her sweaty palms on her jacket. "Miley."
Hannah's eyes snapped wide.
"She's my hostess, and she's the only one who hand-feeds him. But you seem to be skilled with horses." Lilly's lips trembled in an insecure smile as she waited for a response.
Hannah's wide-eyed gaze darted to a point behind Lilly.
What was the matter with—? Oh gosh. Lilly didn't wear any makeup. She had to look so horrible that Hannah had to be at a loss for words. "I know my hair looks terrible right now." Lilly tugged at the bottoms of her black and white plaid flannel pajamas. "And these. If you wait a moment, I'll change—"
"—No." Hannah reached for Lilly, stopped short of touching her hand, and backed up against the fence. "Don't-don't worry about it. You look gorgeous."
Gorgeous? Wow. Her two boyfriends had never called her that. She fought the urge to pull Hannah into a hug. Instead, she kept her hands busy fiddling with her coat's wool belt. "How did you find me?"
Hannah tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing what appeared to be a makeup-covered scar on her temple. "Well—"
"—What happened to your face?"
"Nothing." Hannah yanked the hair back over her cheek. "I've been here before, remember? In the kitche—" She let out a strangled gag.
"But… " That had been a dream, right? A dream she had had before the concert, before she had even met Hannah. God, could it be… ? No… no way in hell. That was impossible. And yet…
The wind ripped Hannah's hair back over her shoulders, revealing the scar once more.
A wave of realization washed over Lilly and pulled her deeper and deeper into the vast and dark ocean of her mind. Miley's panicked expression when Lilly had called her Hannah Montana… Miley's refusal to meet Hannah… her refusal to wear the Hannah wig to the Halloween party…
"Lilly… " It was just a whisper, barely audible over the rush of blood in Lilly's ears.
The lantern on the fence post aimed its light beam on Hannah like a spotlight on a dark stage.
Lilly's arm moved as if on its own, guiding her trembling hand to Hannah's hair.
Hannah sucked in a sharp breath.
Lilly yanked the wig off.
Long brown locks spilled from beneath. Without the blonde hair, no amount of makeup could hide the fact that Hannah Montana and Miley Stewart were the same person.
Lilly stiffened, her breath hitched, and heat pooled in her cheeks.
The dressing room. Sparkling dresses and a fluffy carpet. Hannah had made her blush, and Miley had made a fool of her.
The limousine. Squeaking leather and throat-burning alcohol. Hannah had gotten her tipsy, and Miley had kissed her.
"Why?" Lilly's voice came out hoarse, barely above a whisper.
Miley remained silent, her unblinking gaze fixed on Lilly.
Miley would've done anything to become famous. That's what Chelsea had said. Miley had changed her identity and deceived the entire world. What else had she done to achieve stardom? Getting rid of the competition? Of Mikalya? "Who knows about your double life?"
Miley stepped back from the fence, rubbing her chest. "Daddy."
Another twinge pierced Lilly's heart. A parent, someone she trusted, someone who should have been looking out for her. "He's your manager."
Miley nodded.
Oh God, she had been fooled by a simple hat and a mustache. "Who else played me?"
"Nobody play—" Miley stopped and swallowed visibly. "Jackson, Oliver, and Aunt Dolly."
Even Oliver. There was no one she could trust. She had no one to turn to for help. She was now completely on her own. She needed to get out of here. Fast. Lilly's muscles twitched, ready to carry her as far away from here as possible. But where? It was pitch dark. She would freeze to death out there.
Miley gnawed at a nail. "Lilly." She took a step towards her, and Lilly dropped the Hannah wig and bolted.
Before she knew it, her feet had led her into the cottage and up the stairs to her room. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Hadn't she learned anything from all those slasher movies she had watched? Lilly slammed her bedroom door shut and turned the key. She could only take one deep breath to calm herself down before footsteps clomped up to her. Lilly slid down to a sitting position, her back to the door. Three knocks vibrated through the wood.
"Are ya alright?" That was Mr. Stewart.
Lilly held her breath.
"I saw ya run through the front door like a scared chicken."
Tentative footsteps tapped along the corridor. "Daddy… "
"Darlin'? What's wrong?"
Lilly's breath thundered in her ears.
A sob broke the silence.
"Oh, no."
Heavy footsteps creaked the floorboards, whispers drifted through the door, and then two pairs of retracted footsteps patted down the stairs.
Lilly stumbled over to her bed, propped her elbows on her knees, and let her head sink between her hands. This had to be a nightmare. This whole student exchange had to be one. She was probably still asleep in her bed in Malibu. In a moment, she would wake up, and the roar of the waves would rush through her window, filling her room with fresh, salty ocean air. Her gaze would be drawn to the Hannah Montana posters on the slanted wall above her bed, and she would know that one day she would meet her in all her quirkiness, loveliness, and honesty. Lilly waited. Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.
She did not wake up.
The Fakettes had tried to warn her. She should've listened to them. What the heck had made her take Miley's side? Lilly tossed her winter coat to the floor, crept into bed, and pulled the covers over her head. Miley must have secretly laughed at her whenever she told her she looked like Hannah.
That unique raspy voice, that infectious toothy smile, and the overall similarity of their features should've made it obvious that they were the same person. Was it the fake accent that eventually fooled her? Hannah spoke with a southern twang as opposed to a full-blown southern drawl.
Tears pricked Lilly's eyes, and she fisted the fabric of her bedsheet as she turned her limbs toward her core. Underneath the shame and betrayal was another faint sensation, like pressure on her heart, too faint for her to grasp.