Chapter 18

Lilly stayed up late into the night waiting for her mother's call. At some point, the numbers on her tiny cell phone screen blurred. Her eyes drifted shut and she fell into a restless sleep. The vibrating phone in her hand startled her awake. She turned off the alarm and sat up. She slid her fingers across the keypad, dialing her mother's number. Her mother answered after the second ring.

Lilly? Mrs. Truscott sounded rushed.

"Mom, you forgot to call m—"

—I was going to call you, but I was at the office until eight o'clock. Her heavy breathing accompanied the clicking of her heels on pavement. I wasn't sure if you were sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you up.

"At eight o'clock? Hello, I'm sixteen."

A car door banged shut. I'm sorry, Lilly. I'm running late today.

Mrs. Truscott's rushed tone set off a stress reaction in Lilly. Her palms began to sweat, and she tapped her fingers against her thigh. "Did you book a flight back home for me?"

Yes, uh, hold on. Papers rustled. For Thursday—

"—I have to wait two days?"

Nine days.

"Huh?"

For the following Thursday.

"You can't be for real."

There were no earlier flights available.

"Bullshit."

Watch your tone! A car's engine howled. I have to go. I'll call you again after work, okay? Love you.

"Mom—"

—Bye.

Lilly gaped at her phone, the hang-up sign chiming in the distance. She threw it on her bed, jumped up, and yanked the curtains open. Miley sat on the swing in the middle of the front yard, her shoulders hunched, the weeping willow towering over her, pouring its last leafy tears around her in puddles of withered brown. She stroked her two Border Collies, who were resting their heads on her lap. Lilly should try to talk to her again. She creaked the window open and cold air poured in. Miley looked up at her and Lilly turned away. But… Miley had lied her way into this situation. Why did Lilly even care how she felt? Miley was the one who had fooled her. She was the victim.

Lilly still couldn't stand on her injured foot, but the pain had subsided enough that she decided not to use the skateboard this time, even if it meant not making it to school. Just thinking about falling on her already chafed hands made her break out in a cold sweat. She only had one goal in mind: to get as far away from Miley as possible.

Mr. Stewart's call from the kitchen stopped Lilly from sneaking out the front door. Instead of a plate of waffles, he was holding crutches this time. "Look what I've got for ya." What was most likely meant to be an encouraging grin turned into a pained grimace. "D'ya want to try them out?"

Lilly jutted out her chin. "I won't be able to get to school on these."

"Ya don't have to, only to the pick-up truck. They'll help ya in gettin' around at school."

"Truck?"

"Did ya think I was goin' to let you walk to school?"

Actually, she did. Lilly lowered her gaze to the russet floorboards.

"But you can stay at home if that's what you prefer."

"No, I want to go." Lilly's gaze shifted to the rose-filled porcelain vase perched on top of the white lace tablecloth. Was Aunt Dolly still here? Strangely, she had a way of making her feel better.

As if Mr. Stewart had read Lilly's mind, he said, "Aunt Dolly has already left. She only came for a short visit."

Lilly's feeling of emptiness returned.

While she waited in the pick-up truck's front seat for Mr. Stewart, the back door was ripped open. Miley slid into the seat and placed her satchel beside her. Lilly should have known that Mr. Stewart would also drive Miley to school. Now it was too late to leave. Stupid. Lilly turned away. The car suddenly felt overcrowded with the two of them, and the thought of breathing the same air as Miley made her sick. She wanted to get out, but she rolled down the window instead.

"It's my fault you got injured." Miley's voice grated on Lilly's ears like nails on a chalkboard. "I'm real sorry."

Lilly propped her forearms on the open window and rested her chin on them. The bare trees at the field's edge swayed in the light breeze, dark lanky shadows against the grey fog.

"No, it's not," Lilly whispered so softly that she didn't know if Miley had heard her, but she didn't look up to check.

Throughout the short ride, Lilly felt watched, and whenever she looked up into the rearview mirror, she was met with cobalt eyes that widened for a second before turning downward. At school, Lilly avoided Miley, but whenever her gaze fell on her, Miley returned it. Sheesh, just as Oliver had stopped being a Peeping Tom, Miley had to take his place.

As Lilly gathered her fourth-period papers from her locker Mikayla strode past her, flanked by Chelsea and Nancy. Groups broke apart like bulldozed trees to make way for the Fakettes. They made a beeline for Miley, who was standing in front of her locker down the hallway. Mikayla broke free from her friends and shoved Miley forward. Miley stumbled and banged head-first into the aluminum door of her locker. With a howl, she collapsed to the floor, her hands pressed to her face. The three continued down the hallway as if nothing had happened.

Fucking bitches. Lilly's aching hands tightened around her crutches. Despite the adrenaline rushing through her veins, every muscle in her legs froze. She stood motionless as the last of Miley's papers glided to the floor.

Everyone in the hallway stopped what they were doing to stare. Murmurs took the place of chatters. A boy darted out from behind a group of students, knelt on the floor, and collected the scattered papers.

Lilly blinked. It was Oliver. The ice that had frozen her to the spot melted all at once. She didn't have to talk to Miley. She just needed to make sure she was okay. Lilly limped over to her and picked up two papers on the way.

Oliver knelt in front of Miley and held the papers out for her to take.

Miley looked up, her wet eyes widened, and her grimace turned into a gape. "Oliver… "

Miley took the papers from his hand and Oliver rose up with her. Lilly paused behind Miley, hesitating. She cleared her throat, and Miley turned around to face her.

"I think these are yours."

Miley swallowed visibly as Lilly handed her the papers. "Thank y'all."

Lilly shifted her gaze down the hallway. Principal Keith stood in front of his office door, his brows drawn together. He beckoned Mikayla over, who was at the end of the hallway with her head nestled on Jake's chest. Last period, Mikayla had sat motionless in her seat, her complexion pasty, like a wax figure, and when Mrs. Yeller had instructed them to open their books, Mikayla had left hers closed on the table, and now she was openly bullying Miley in front of everyone. It was almost as if she no longer cared what the teachers thought of her.

Mikayla maintained her poker face as she stepped up to Principal Keith. With her bandaged hand, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her cardigan sleeve slid down, revealing a second bandage wrapped around her arm. Lilly didn't seem to be the only one who had been a little clumsy yesterday.

As Mikayla walked into the office with Principal Keith, Lilly heard Miley say, "My head hurts."

The beginnings of a bruise formed on Miley's forehead. Oliver wrapped his arm around Miley's shoulders and drew her in. A sneer formed on Lilly's lips. Her scabbed hands ached from constantly leaning on the crutches. She shifted her weight from her hands to her feet, and a sharp twinge shot through her heel. She was the one who had been played. She was the one who needed to be comforted. Oliver's gaze swept down her crutches to her feet and back up to her eyes, and Lilly expected him to show surprise or confusion, but instead, she received a warm smile. How much did he know about what had happened in the past two days? With a grimace, Lilly shifted her weight back onto her crutches.

"You should've gone back to homeschooling. This student exchange was a huge mistake." Lilly wasn't sure if the last part was directed at herself or Miley.

"I know." Miley pulled away from Oliver's embrace. "But you're leavin' soon, so… "

Lilly knew where Miley was going with this, but it was the only thing she couldn't really blame her for.

"Stewart."

They all faced the source of the deep voice. Principal Keith motioned Miley over from beneath his open office door. The bass of his voice carried over the student chatter to her, but the words remained incomprehensible. Miley shook her head.

Oliver poked her in the ribs. "I think you should go."

"But Mikayla is in there."

"Maybe it's about time you told him about the bullying."

"I don't think so." Miley let out a long sigh, plodded over to him, and disappeared through the door he was holding open for her.

"So…," Lilly and Oliver began in unison.

Oliver's gaze fell to the floor, where he kicked the tip of his shoe against the linoleum.

"Have you been watching too many superhero cartoons again?" Lilly leaned against the locker behind her to relieve the strain on her hands.

"Why do you ask—" Oliver stopped. "You mean because of my heroic act just now?"

Lilly uh-huhed.

A crooked grin spread across his face. "I'm cool, huh?"

"You can be if you want to."

"Well, yup, and I shouldn't have ignored you both. What kind of friend does that?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"I never claimed to be perfect. Nobody is, okay?"

"Who'd have guessed Superman could make you more reasonable? Or was that Batman?"

Oliver thrusted his hands in his pockets. "You."

"What?"

"It was you, okay? Your breakup with me made me think. My anxiety has kept me from being there for my girlfriend and friend when they needed me. Besides, Miley is going through a difficult time right now. You might think I don't mind watching her get bullied, but it's extremely hard for me."

Sure. Lilly bit back a scoff. So Oliver knew. Yeah, Miley clearly didn't have it easy, but what about herself? Why did everyone seem to ignore her pain?

Oliver nodded towards her crutches. "I'm sure you do, too."

Or not?

"All of us."

"So you know?"

"Yup."

"Since when?"

"Miley called me yesterday and told me the whole story. Pretty messed up, huh?"

"Freaking understatement of the year." Lilly pushed herself off the locker and gnawed at her lower lip.

"Did you know Miley likes me?"

"I had a hunch."

"But you didn't know she was toying with me in her Hannah disguise?"

"No way. Not until you told me."

So Oliver wasn't in on it. That was good. Their voices echoed loudly down the empty hallway. Too loud. Everyone had already gone to the cafeteria for lunch. "Let's go somewhere more private to talk."

"We can have lunch together."

"You'd sit at a table with me?"

Oliver nodded.

Lilly couldn't stop a faint smile from forming on her lips. "We should go somewhere where no one can overhear our conversation."

They circled the school and sat in the bleachers. The cold metal of the seat pressed through the fabric of her jeans. A gust of icy wind blew across the empty playing field, driving a soccer ball across the lawn.

Lilly leaned her crutches against the seat and shook out an aching hand. "When I told you about me and Hannah the other day, you were hecka outta pocket."

Oliver rested his hands on his knees and bounced a leg. "I never expected her to go that far."

"But you've now forgiven her?"

"I don't think there was much to forgive. I asked you out even though I had a feeling she liked you, even though I knew what she was still going through because of the Mikayla accident. I knew I might hurt her with it."

Could Lilly do the same? Could she forgive Miley? Their circumstances were not comparable, so probably not. Lilly hmmed. "If it hadn't been for Hannah, I'd never realized she liked me."

"That's because she didn't tell you you were pretty as pie supper."

"What?"

"That's what she told me on the phone before we met for the first time, and also," Oliver made quotation marks with his fingers, "You've got more style than Carter's got little pills."

"Is that-is that a good thing?"

"It depends on whether you like being complimented by Miley."

"So they are compliments?"

"You betcha."

Lilly tipped her head back and closed her eyes. The hollowness in her chest grew larger. Would she ever get rid of that feeling? "When I started the student exchange, the only thing I was worried about was whether I would be accepted by the Stewarts and at school, you know?"

"If there's anyone who can relate to that, it's me, okay?" They exchanged tentative smiles.

Oliver tapped a foot. "It's not always easy to do the right thing." "Yeah, I know. You said you were anxious about being an outsider?"

"I'm not an exchange student. I still have to go to Pinewood High in my senior year and live in Crowley Corners."

"That's not the only reason, is it? You've been an outsider before. At least, that's what you told me."

Oliver steepled his hands in front of him and remained silent for a moment. "That wasn't here. That was in my elementary school."

"In Houston?"

"Seattle. After we moved." Oliver exhaled a sigh. "You could say that's why I ignored Miley, but it's also why I kept in touch with her after all of her friends had abandoned her."

A gust of icy wind ruffled Lilly's hair, bringing with it the aromatic scent of pine needles. "You did it because you know what it's like to be an outcast." It was more of a statement than a question.

Oliver shot Lilly a sidelong glance, the skin around his eyes tightening. "Miley is obviously more than just an outcast, isn't she?"

"What do you… " Did he mean a bullying victim? What made him defend Miley all of a sudden? It was as if he had done an about-face, or—No. It was so obvious. "You were bullied."

Oliver made a vague sound under his breath.

"Hmm?"

"Who gives a damn?"

"I do. If there's one thing I've learned from this experience, it's that it's often better to get things off your chest than to bottle them up."

The flagpole next to the bleachers rattled as a gust of wind tore at the US flag.

Oliver shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "I wasn't like the other kids in Washington. I grew up on a farm. I used to wear these hideous cowboy boots, but I thought they were the coolest shit." Oliver's face crumpled into a grimace. "But I also thought my Trapper Boy Scout fur hat made me look as cool as Davy Crockett, but I was wrong, and I became the biggest outsider in school."

"I bet you looked awesome."

"Nonsense. If we had known each other back then, I'm sure you would've bullied me too."

"Never."

"Absolutely everyone made fun of my clothes and my strong southern accent."

"But," Lilly pursed her lips, "you don't have much of an accent."

"Oh, I used to. Believe me, I sounded exactly like my mother. I tried to lose my accent, but it didn't work. I switched out the cowboy boots for sneakers. Either that wasn't enough, or it was already too late. During a school break, the bullying escalated when the other kids played Indians versus Cowboys. Everyone else, except me, was an Indian. They pretended to chase the bad cowboy away from their holy land by throwing stones, and when I returned home covered in bruises, my parents realized that this couldn't go on. I grew to hate everything southern, but my parents were afraid to send me to a school outside of the South for fear of being bullied there too. So we moved to Crowley Corners. Here, I finally figured out how to change my accent. "

"I'm sorry that happened to you." Lilly grabbed a crutch and twirled it between her hands. "That must've been terrifying."

"It was. Every night before I went to bed, I prayed that I'd wake up with a fever the next morning and that my parents would let me stay at home."

"You should've told me sooner."

"If I told you, you wouldn't have suddenly become okay with me ignoring you, right?"

"No." Lilly knitted her brows together. "No way."

"And I still wouldn't have felt comfortable talking to you at school. So it wouldn't have made a difference."

"But now you do?"

"No."

Lilly scrunched her nose. "I thought—"

"—But I'm going to do it anyway."

Lilly bit her lip to hide her smile, but when Oliver offered her a grin, she broke into a snicker. For the first time since discovering Miley was Hannah, she felt something akin to hope.

Lilly watched three pigeons squabbling over a bitten piece of bread lying on the sidewalk. Pigeon number one pecked at the bread, causing it to roll down to the meadow and entice pigeon number two to rush on it, only to be chased away by pigeon number three. The tires of a pick-up truck scraped against the curb, rousing the pigeons and splashing water from a puddle onto Lilly's shoes. She hobbled backward and watched grimly as the car squealed to a halt a few feet away. A triple honk rang out, and two students dashed out of the school behind her. They ripped open the car's back doors and disappeared inside. The pick-up truck started up, and the pigeons fluttered back to the sidewalk.

"Aww, ain't they adorable?"

That raspy voice. Lilly forced her gaze to stay locked on the murky puddle at her feet, which reflected feathery clouts and the tip of a rocking pine tree.

A bag was being unzipped. It rustled. Miley knelt, removed a cookie from the package, crumbled it in her hand, and tossed it onto the sidewalk. The pigeons bobbed their heads as they darted for the crumbs. After picking them all up they strutted back to the bread, and the squabbling erupted once more. Lilly couldn't keep the snicker from escaping her lips. The rush of relief from being able to resolve at least that one issue with Oliver still lingered in her.

Miley giggled, and Lilly risked to take a peek at her. Cobalt eyes twinkled with delight. The smile on Lilly's face slipped, and she turned her gaze to the playground across the street, where children's yells and laughter rang through the bare treetops. It didn't feel right to act as if everything was fine between them.

"Thank you for your help earlier."

Lilly remained silent. Miley was just trying to strike up a conversation, and if she responded, that meant she had forgiven her, right?

A yellow school bus droned past them.

Miley squatted on the ground and nibbled on a cookie. She might look like Hannah, but she lacked her elegance, glamour, and mystic aura. What would Hannah be doing right now if she really existed? Would she think about Lilly? Look for her? Find her? Miley looked up, her forehead wrinkled in a frown, and Lilly averted her gaze.

There was another rustle.

"D'ya want a cookie?" Miley's upraised hand appeared in the corner of Lilly's eye, holding a chocolate chip cookie. Lilly's favorite.

She shook her head.

The zzziiip of a closing zipper sounded, and Miley stood up.

"Why are you lying to everyone?" Lilly's voice was soft.

"I'm sorry. I know what I did to you was—"

"—Not me. Everyone. The entire world."

Miley beetled her forehead. "D'ya mean my Hannah disguise?"

"Yeah."

"That wasn't my idea. I never wanted to be Hannah. I'd always wanted to make my debut as just myself, but New Southern Dimension wouldn't let me after the incident with Mikayla."

"Wait, New Southern Dimension? The record company that sponsors the Talent Show?"

"Yes."

Lilly's brows arched up to her hairline. "So you won?"

"Not officially. Our mayor covered up the accident in order to protect the reputation of the Talent Show and Crowley Corners. No newspaper was allowed to cover it. A month later, New Southern Dimension's A&R manager contacted me. He wanted to try somethin' out—"

"—I'll guess: wigs?"

"Yes, as well as first names that rhymed with states. No one was to link the incident to me."

"They actually signed you, huh?"

"Not right away." Miley picked a chocolate chip from her half-eaten cookie. "I didn't sign the contract until after I was acquitted."

Looking at Miley now, it was hard to see what star power the record label could have seen in her. "You were a different person before the accident, right?"

"I reckon so… "

"Like Hannah?" The still star-struck part of Lilly longed for Miley to say yes. She held her breath.

"I still am, ain't I?"

No. Definitely not. That meant Hannah had never been real, and Lilly had wasted the last two years obsessing over a phantom. She rubbed her hand over her breastbone. "What made you do this Hannah thing?"

"I-I told you, the record company—"

"—Not that Hannah thing." Heat prickled her cheeks. "That other one."

"Oh… um… " Miley shifted her weight from one foot to the other, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "I-I like you."

Yeah, jeez, obviously. "I mean, you could just have told me."

"Obviously, I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a girl."

"So what?"

"And, uh, I'm a girl, too?"

"So you were afraid I'd reject your advances but not Hannah Montana's?"

Miley's gaze fell away.

A pigeon fluttered over Lilly's head and landed on a bare branch across the street.

She didn't need an answer. It was obvious. She tightened her grip on the crutches and turned away from Miley. She had a sudden desire to be alone.

"I never woulda told you. Not because I was afraid you wouldn't reciprocate my feelings, but because I was afraid you'd go back home."

"That's ridiculous." Or was Lilly a hypocrite? She didn't tell Miley about the kiss with Hannah because she was afraid Miley would no longer want to be around her.

She leaned on a crutch with her forearm and fished her phone from her jacket pocket. The crutch clattered on the sidewalk. Before Lilly could bend down to retrieve it, Miley picked it up and held it out to her.

"Thanks."

An uncertain smile flitted over Miley's face.

Lilly tucked the crutch under her arm and switched on her phone. 3:41 p.m. Mr. Stewart took his own sweet time today. He might have planned for them to wait here together so they could talk things out. At the very least she could now understand Miley's motivations behind everything Hannah. Returning home with too many unanswered questions would have been unpleasant.

After returning to the farm, Lilly tried to call her mother several times, but each time her call went to voicemail. She sat on her bed with her legs crossed, staring at the phone she had placed on the flowery bed linen in front of her. Jeez, what took her mother so long? Why didn't she understand

that Lilly needed to get out of Tennessee as soon as possible? If her mother didn't book an earlier flight, she would take a cab from Crowley Corners to Malibu; fuck the bill.

Lilly let herself flop backward on the bed. "Dagnabbit," she cursed under her breath and suppressed an eye-roll. Apparently, her stay here had some unintended side-effect. Not everything had been bad though. She would miss the farm animals, Mr. Stewart's yummy food, and, she couldn't believe it, even Miley's childish games. But most of all, she would miss lying in the grass and listening to the sounds of nature. At home, everything was loud and hectic—school, surfing, skating, handball, football, paintball, video games, fast food restaurants, shopping malls—there was always so much to do.

A long exhale pushed Lilly into relaxation, and all thoughts came to a halt. A weight pressed down on her heart, weak at first, then growing heavier and heavier until she couldn't take it any longer. She jerked up and reached for her cell phone. She couldn't stay in Crowley Corners, no matter how beautiful it was; not after Miley had betrayed her. Lilly managed to dial the first three digits of her mother's phone number before the phone vibrated in her hand, indicating an incoming call.

She yanked it up to her ear. "Mom?"

Is everything okay with you? Mrs. Truscott's voice was tinged with worry.

"Did you book an earlier flight for me?"

Mr. Stewart just called. You never told me you were injured.

"What does it matter? I just want to go home." Lilly tugged at her bed linen. "Mr. S called?"

Yes.

"Did he say anything else?"

Do you mean the fight you had with Miley?

Lilly uh-huhed.

No, I got the impression that everything was fine between you two. As I always say, you teenagers will make a mountain out of a molehill.

Yeah, no, but he couldn't exactly reveal Miley's secret to her mother. "How about the flight?"

Oh, right. Um, there were no earlier ones.

"What!"

Oh, come on. A week passes quickly.

"You need to take another look."

Or maybe you should just try to work things out with Miley.

"Not that I haven't tried it before, but you can't just fix everything by talking."

That's right. You must also give it time, and I have just given you a week's worth.

"But, Mom—" Lilly went quiet. Maybe her mother was right. What if that heavy feeling was there because things between her and Miley still needed to be worked out? The conversation after school had definitely been a good thing. Lilly reclined against her pillow and stretched her legs out in front of her. "You know what? I'll call you later."