A.N. In my head this one looked quite angsty, but now it turned out to be only half so… Anyway, be warned, its not a happy one.
Originally published October 26th 2016 on Tumblr.
It is late afternoon after a rather quiet day. With swift steps, Elsa slips into her room and takes a book she had started to read a few days ago, placing herself comfortable on the bed. Usually, after all her lessons, she would sit at her desk and study for a few hours more- most of the things she learned these days were interesting, especially when it came to geometry. But sometimes she would enjoy simply resting on the cushions on her bed and reading, sometimes even a novel. Even though stories filled with adventure and involving a romantic love story were more to Anna´s taste, going through the shelves in the library Elsa had also found a few ones she liked.
This book in general had griped her attention because it focused rather rationally on solving the mystery surrounding the plot, then on pompous writing. Now by chapter 23 the main characters are finally on a ball together, knowing the truth about each other and enjoying the presence of each other in their arms. She is wearing a beautiful dress and finally proud of who she is, while he is holding her finally knowing he is not alone.
With a small smile on her face, Elsa thinks how good it is when everything turns out right in the end. In books everything seems to be so simple. That's why she loves reading. You visit so many places, you meet so many people, you see so many things while knowing you´re safe at home. There is no contact needed, just a few printed letters.
As she looks through the window, she can see that the sky outside is slowly starting to darken and as she looks at the passing clouds, her mind wanders of a bit. Time is flowing, it seems. Mother often says what a fine young lady she grows into. Her father starts to include her more in state business- nothing big, but he wants her to grip the threads slowly. Maybe just like the girl in the book became a lady. In small steps. In a few months she´ll be thirteen years old… She shivers for a moment, like if a cold wind had blown out of nowhere. It is better to concentrate on the book, she thinks. A feeling of unease had touched her and it was better not to think about it. But as she looks back on the page where she had stopped, she sees something different.
She sees people, many people and herself in-between them.
She has to talk to them, as a future queen she has to meet with all kind of people, and they talk back.
She´ll have to lead conversations because if not she could cause a war.
She sees balls and dances like they were held before.
She sees diplomats and other man of importance coming for visit.
Stop it.
They crowd her, they take her the air to breath.
She can´t talk to so many people.
She can´t be to long outside her safe room.
She can´t visit the city or other towns.
When she´s queen…
Please, stop it!
She can´t live without her parents.
Because… it is nothing like in all the stories.
Please, go away!
Nobody can trust her.
Nobody would ever dance with her.
Nobody would ever sing for her under her window.
Nobody would ever kiss her…
Because princes never come for the witch.
No, no, no…
Her whole body is shaking and trembling, and she gasps for air. It feels like someone has punched her in the stomach. She throws the book away, like all the dark thoughts that came with it could be thrown away with it too. But they creep, they creep over her, they entangle her in a darkness she can´t escape. She tries to breath, but it seems impossible to do. Who would want me like this? I hurt people, I can hurt them so much… Nobody understands, nobody. Suddenly, her parents appear in her room. She must have screamed for her throat feels soar.
"Dear, what happened? Are you hurt?" her mother asks as she comes closer to the bed, trying to take Elsa´s hand. But Elsa pushes herself still in shock out of bed, hoping that pacing will help. She walks to the corner, trying to breath, when suddenly ice spreads over the whole wall close to her. She didn´t even touch it!
"Its getting stronger!" she brings out in horror. Her father makes a move closer to her saying she should try to stay calm, before she screams.
"No, don´t touch me! I don´t wanna hurt you." Her scream slows down in a whisper, and before knowing it, she finds herself kneeling on the floor, hands tight to her body. As she quietly sobs, she notices her mother slowly kneeling down too only a few feet away. But it does not matter. She would never touch anyone again. She would always stay all alone.