Dean skipped down the steps of their temporary home, his car keys in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. He walked into the kitchen and called out for his little brother and frowned slightly when he didn't get an immediate answer. He wasn't that worried about him tho because Dean was sure that Sammy was just sitting in the living room reading a book, completely engrossed in the lore of the monster they were hunting for the last two weeks.
The Hunter put the grocery bag in the kitchen and placed his car keys on the counter before he slowly walked towards the living room. He called out to his little brother once again and frowned when he still didn't get an answer. Fastening his steps he walked into the room where he expected his brother to be and looked around but he couldn't see him anywhere. Now slightly worried he hurried to his younger brothers temporary bedroom to look if he was asleep even if that wasn't very likely.
Dean opened the bedroom door and felt his stomach drop when he saw a letter on Sams bed and all the younger mans belongings neatly tucked away in two duffel bags. The first thing that came to Deans mind was that Sam was leaving him again. He angrily grabbed the letter and thought about throwing it away but he decided against it. He wanted to know why Sam was leaving him this time. Slowly he sank down onto the bed, roughly opened the letter and began to read.
Hey Dean,
the first thing I want to say is that I am sorry for leaving you like this and that I don't know why exactly I am writing this but I guess you deserve an explanation for what I am about to do.
The last few years haven't been good for us but you know that already. All the things that happened, all the things I did it's just too much for me. I can't live like that anymore. Every time I look in the mirror I see the people I killed, the people I dissapointed. Every time I look at you I think about all the times I've let you down and how many times I've been a burden to you. I really hope you understand why I am doing this and how this will be good for you in the end.
I know we haven't had the best relationship these last few months maybe even years but I want you to know that I love you and that this is in no way, shape or form your fault. This was my decision and I made this decision alone so please don't beat yourself up about this alright?
I hope you will be happy, jerk.
Sam.
Dean sat on the edge of Sams bed and blankly stared at the tear stained letter in front of him. He sat there a few more seconds, sad for his brother and angry at himself for not noticing that his brother felt like this. His little brother, his kid, was thinking about offing himself. He couldn't even truly process everything he just read before he jumped up and ran towards the kitchen. Dean hastily grabbed his car keys, ran up the stairs so fast he almost tripped and walked out of the door and towards his car.
He jumped into the impala, started it and drove as fast as he could towards the place where he expected his little brother. The last few days when Sammy wasn't at 'home' he was at a little lake, sitting in the snow and staring straight ahead. Now that Dean thought about it he knew that this wasn't a good sign but he ignored it because he didn't want any chick-flick moments. Just because he was afraid to talk about his emotions his little brother might be gone.
Dean never even noticed that Sam wasn't good. He never noticed that Sam was depressed and that he was thinking of himself as a burden. Angrily he punched the stirring wheel and cursed. The most persistent thought that ran through his head at this moment was that he might find his little brother dead.
The hunter was more scared than he ever was in his life. This wasn't a threat he could kill, this wasn't some monster messing with Sammy. This was his own brother trying to end his life and Dean didn't know how to help him. But he promised himself to make this right. The moment he got to Sam he would grab him into a hug and tell him that he isn't a burden and that Dean would be there for him no matter what it would take. He would even give up hunting if that would make Sam feel better.
After almost ten minutes of driving as fast as he could, which felt entirely too long, Dean arrived at his destination where he saw Sams still running truck sitting in the snow. He drove down the field and stopped right in front of the lake where he threw open the car door and looked around in a slight panic. Dread settled into his stomach as he noticed the clear absence of the younger man. He frantically searched for his brother but couldn't spot him anywhere. At first he thought his brother might not be here anymore but then he saw the gaping hole in the ice.
His heart dropped to his stomach as he realized what this meant. He walked onto the ice with slow but sure steps and hoped he wouldn't be too late. The walk towards the hole was taking him longer than he would have hoped but he couldn't risk breaking the ice even further and falling into the water himself. When he finally arrived at his destination he looked into the water and saw his little brother floating around under the surface.
He noticed that Sam was sinking slowly and before he could even think about a plan he leaped into the freezing water, grabbed his little brother tight and swam towards the surface with him. The moment Dean was above the water he took in a big gulp of air and pushed Sam onto the ice before he climbed up himself.
Dean looked at Sammy and felt like he was dying. His baby brother was ghostly pale, his lips were blue and he still wasn't moving. The older man felt for a pulse and whispered a broken "No." when he couldn't find one. He dragged his little brother a few feet away from the hole to prevent them from falling back into the water and started doing chest compressions.
Dean was sure he broke at least two of Sams ribs but his little brother still wasn't moving, wasn't breathing and Dean didn't know what else he could do. He desperatly prayed to his friend Castiel and even to god but noone answered his call. After a while the hunter stopped his movements and just stared at the lifeless body in front of him for what felt like an eternity. His own body was numb from the cold but that wasn't important. The only thing that was truly important to Dean was lying in front of him right now, unmoving and still not breathing.
The hunter could feel tears trailing down his face but he couldn't stop them. After another minute or two went by the realisation that his baby brother, the kid he basically raised all alone, was dead set in and Dean started sobbing uncontrollably. This was the first time since their mother died that Dean truly cried and he wasn't doing anything to pull himself together this time because there was noone he had to be strong for this time.
After a long moment of crying and shaking he gathered his little brother in his arms, pressed him close to his chest and rocked him as if to comfort him one last time. While he held his brother, Dean leaned down and pressed his face into Sams hair while he sobbed and pleaded for all of this to be unreal, for Sammy to still be alive and for all of this to be just a really bad nightmare.
Dean wasn't sure how long he sat there with his brother in his arms, when he decided on his next move but time wasn't important to him anymore. The older brother scooped his baby brother carefully in his arms and stood up. His whole body trembled as he carried Sams body back to the shore and back to the Impala. The moment he reached it he went to the passenger door and carefully sat his brother in the passenger seat. Dean then delicately brushed Sams wet and slightly frozen hair out of his face and closed the door before he went to the drivers seat and sat down.
Dean took a deep breath and looked at Sammy again before he took his gun he always had on him. He toyed with it for a few seconds before he took the safety off and pressed it against his temple. He took a shaking breath and grabbed his brothers cold hand before he pulled the trigger.
A shot rang out and the older hunters grip on his brothers hand loosened. His body slumped forwards and his head slammed against the stirring wheel while blood splattered everywhere.
With that both Winchesters sat dead in the Impala the only place that always felt like a home to them while an angel in a trechcoat looked horrified towards his friends as tears streamed down his face and he realized that he answered Deans call to late.