Chapter 7: Not my intention

It had been a week. I had sulked, I had self loathed and I was tired of behaving like this. It was pathetic, but I had no idea how to behave. How was I supposed to get over this? I didn't know the first place to start. When I pushed for Kagome and Sesshomaru to be together, I didn't think that it would be this hard to move on. How does someone go about moving on? Was I supposed to just have this great revelation one day? Maybe love at first sight would do the trick, because sitting home and doing nothing only made it worse. I had no idea how to get out of this slump; which is why I was sitting in the parking at midnight staring at some uppity bar. Maybe what I need was to get under someone else. I had put some effort into my appearance and put on the best cologne that I owned. I exhaled and got out of my car, and headed inside. It looked twice as good inside. It had a very modern look to it. The place wasn't half bad, a bit stuffy, but there were plenty of women to choose from. I sounded like an asshole, but that is why I came here. I took a seat at the bar, eyeing the wall of Liquor.

"What can I get for you, sir?"

A bottle on the very top shelf caught my eye. I pointed to it. "I would like that one."

The bartender looked at which one I was pointing at, turning back to me. "Sir that is our most expensive liquor. We only sell it by bottle. Only forty-five bottles of this liquor were ever released. There are some who refer to this bottle of Karaizawa as The Holy Grail. It is one of the smaller bottles that have been released but it is still very expensive."

I pulled my card from my wallet a slid it to him. "I said that is the one that I wanted."

He slightly turned his nose up at me.

"It costs 24,000."

I ignored his obvious dig at me.

"And?"

He seemed shocked, but took the card and rang me up. He grabbed the bottle from the top shelf and packed it nicely, before handing it and my card over to me.

I smiled, looking in the bag. "Thank you."

He nodded and walked away.

"You were always a bit extra you know that."

I froze. I knew that voice anywhere. I slowly turned around.

"Ayame?"

She smiled at me. "I never thought that I would see you again."

She pulled up a seat next to me. Her hair was still as fiery red as ever. hose eyes were still a vibrant green. She wore a little black dress and it left little to the imagination. Her cleavage, her arms, and her thighs. They were very… enticing.

"My eyes are up here Kouga."

I shook my head, rubbing the back of my neck "Sorry. You just look… very nice."

She smiled, tilting her head to the side. . "Why thank you. To think all it took was a little black dress to get your attention. Even when I'd run around half-naked in fur pelts you never looked at me like that."

I tried to hide my embarrassment. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was… a little immature back then."

"Mmm, yeah. You were too busy chasing another short skirt."

My throat felt tight. "Well, that's over and done with."

"Yeah, I saw her and Sesshomaru having dinner with their children, not too long ago. Who would have thought those two would end up together? Married with two kids and another on the way no less."

I forced a smile. "Yeah, who would have thought?"

"Why don't you take my number down?"

I tapped my pockets. "Sorry. I left my phone at home. I haven't been using it much since I'm taking some time off of work."

She batted her eyelashes at me the way she use to. "You know… I could come back to your place and you could take my number there."

I smiled. For the first time in a while, I was actually excited. Probably excited for the wrong reasons, but still excited none the less. I grabbed my very expensive bottle of liquor before standing up. I would not be leaving it behind.

"Sure then let's go."

She lay on my chest, tracing her fingers up and down my arm while she hummed. She was grinning from ear to ear.

She kissed my jaw. "That was very much worth the wait. Any woman who doesn't want you would be insane."

Getting on top of me she straddled me. Rubbing up against me. She was already wet, but I wasn't getting hard. This was fun while it lasted, but the rush didn't last long. It was a short-lived distraction. I grabbed her hips to stop her from moving. She leaned over pressing her breasts up against my chest. She touched her nose to mine, gently rubbing it from side to side.

She had a concerned look in her eyes. "Are you okay? What's wrong Kouga?"

I placed my hands on the small of her back. "I'm sorry. I think I'm done for the night."

She smiled. "Did I tire you out?"

"Yeah, ten times in one night is a lot." I lied.

In all honesty, I had lost interest the second round in, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. So I just threw myself into it. Pleasing her I mean. It was a well needed distraction. Unfortunately, it just did not last as long as I had hoped it to. It was just another night of meaningless sex... with someone who didn't mean anything to me. As harsh as it sounded.

She laid down snuggling back up beside me, draping her leg over mine. She seemed so happy just to be laying here with me.

"Goodnight Kouga." She said sweetly.

"Goodnight."

I tried to stretch, but she had her arms wrapped around me and legs hooked on me. I looked over at my alarm clock. It was about to be seven in the morning. It was going to go off any minute now. I was regretting replacing it. I hadn't figured out what to say to Ayame yet. She slept over. She was expecting something; something more. Something that I could not give her... something I did not want to give her, and I needed to find a way to let her down gently. I had expected a night of meaningless sex. To me it was meaningless, but for her, I could tell that it meant something more. I hadn't thought this through. I should have just slept with some random woman, but no. I had to get reeled in by the familiarity of her. The alarm clock went off pulling me out of my thoughts and waking Ayame up. She unlatched herself from me and turned it off. Looking at me she smiled.

"Good morning handsome."

I forced another smile. "Hey, good morning."

"What's for breakfast?" she asked, lacing her fingers with mine and I only became more uncomfortable. I had tensed up the moment she had touched me.

She could tell. Of course, she could tell, she was a demon too. She pulled her hand away, pulling the sheet up and covering herself. I could see that hint of insecurity in her eyes.

"Ayame-"

"I'm making you uncomfortable. I can smell it on you. I can feel it."

I sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that-"

She put her hand up. "Don't bother. It's my fault. I should have known better. I thought you would have changed since it's been half a century! It's her, isn't it? Kagome. I noticed the look on your face last night when I brought her up. I thought maybe I could finally have you all to myself since she has clearly moved on with her life. She is married; she has a family. Yet you're still stuck on her, and I will forever be in her shadow. No matter how much time passes."

She threw the pillow at me and scrambled to put her clothes on.

"Ayame can you just listen."

"It's not Kagome."

"So there is someone else? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"No. Well yes, but it isn't like that, and she isn't the reason. It is not what you are thinking."

How was I supposed to explain Kimi and I's friendship? Did I even want to? Should I just let her think what she wanted?

"No! Just stop. This is bullshit."

She stormed out of my bedroom, and then out of my apartment. Making sure to slam my front door very hard.

Part of me was glad that she was, but this was not my intention.