Chapter 13: I've ruined everything

I was sitting on the couch. The spot where she usually sat. A few hours had passed and it was starting to get dark and she had not come back yet. I wondered where she had gone. I hadn't wanted her to leave. In all honesty, I did not like when she was not around. We were supposed to be spending time together. Instead, we were fighting. I had replayed it over and over in my head countless times. Why was she angry with me? I completely understand why she was angry with Ayame. Did she want me to be upset with Ayamae too? I mean I was, but I guess I didn't show it enough as I should have. I shouldn't have baited her like that, but she wasn't very clear, and that left me very confused. I could not apologize if I didn't know what was wrong. I heard someone coming off the elevator. A familiar sound of heels clicking against the. She stopped in front of the door. She took a deep breath before unlocking it and coming inside, locking the door behind her. That's when it came rushing towards me. Kagome's overpowering scent. So that is where she had gone. For some strange reason, I was a little bothered that I couldn't smell Kimi's scent as much. She set her bag down. She smelled her turtleneck.

"Excuse me. I will go bathe."

I nodded but said nothing. I did not want to risk saying the wrong thing again. I waited for her to come out of the bathroom. She closed the door, leaning against it. She just stood there wrapped in a towel, looking at the floor.

"Did you enjoy visiting your family?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes. It is nice to see them every now and then… I Apologize for hitting you with a bag of Epsom salt. It was childish."

I smiled. "You are forgiven, it didn't hurt anyway. I'm sorry for saying I would invite her over. I don't know why I said that. I shouldn't have. I guess I was just trying to figure things out in my own way I guess."

She nodded. Why was she acting so strangely? I stood up to walk toward her, but she put her hands up.

"Wait!"

I froze in place. "Do you not want me near you?"

"No. That is not it."

"Are you still angry with me?"

"No," she whispered.

"Then why can't I come near you, Kimi? What's going on?"

She said nothing. Just continuing to stare at the floor.

I sighed. "Do you want me to go back to my apartment for a while?"

"No! I do not want that at all."

I could tell by the look on her face that she was embarrassed, but why?

I threw my hands up. "Kimi, what exactly do you want from me?

I sighed looking up at him. "I cannot tell you," I said. "It will ruin everything. "

I was so nervous from the moment I pulled into the parking lot. Being alone in a dark room with him only made it worse. Curse Kagome for opening my eyes to these stupid feelings. How was I supposed to function like this? I was afraid of what I would do if he came too close to me. He came over to me, and I pressed my back up against the door. Fumbling trying to grab the doorknob, so I could escape into the bathroom. I had opened the door at the wrong time. I fell backward and he fell on top of me. This was the last thing that I needed. He just looked down at me, a look of confusion on his face.

"Kimi, please tell me what's going on."

He was perfectly fine being this close to me. He did not clam up. He did not get embarrassed. He was fine. While I was a complete mess on the inside. Kagome had been wrong. He did not feel the same way that I did. He stood pulling me up off the ground. I readjusted my towel. He set his hands on my shoulders. His touch made my skin hum. Before I found his touch relaxing. Now, it felt different. It felt like something more. I pressed my thighs together. I felt like an adolescent girl who could not control her hormones. I heard him sniffing the air. I knew I could not hide the scent of my arousal from him. I immediately looked up at him. A tinge of red clouded his blue eyes. His eyes lidded and his lips slightly parted. He towered over me; taking slow deep breaths.

"Kouga?" I whispered.

He shook his head, quickly backing away from me.

He put his hand up. "I am sorry. I don't- I'm sorry. I have to go."

He grabbed his bag from my bedroom and left quickly. I let out a breath that I did not know I had been holding. My heart was pounding in my chest.

I've ruined everything.