Chapter 14: Unlucky

One month had passed since that bathroom incident, and I missed him desperately. There was this strange empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was not like the other times when he had left before; because I knew he would be coming back. This time I was not so sure. I felt as though I had lost my friend and it was my fault. I needed to talk to someone. I hesitated to go to Kagome. I was afraid of what other revelation she would open my eyes to. Did I have any other choice? I rolled out, going over to my dresser. I was someone who dressed according to my mood. Today was the day that I would be wearing this tragic attire. Sweatpants, and an oversized T-shirt. I put on some socks and slid my feet into some tennis shoes. Grabbing my bag, I pressed my ear to the door. I listened for him. I did not want to run into Kouga right now. Especially not looking this way. I quietly slid out into the hallway and made a mad dash for the elevator. Praying it would come quickly. It dinged as the doors opened. I slid inside before the doors fully opened. That's when I saw it, his apartment door opened. I pressed the P button rapidly. I caught a slight glimpse of him before the door closed. I ran out of the elevator, quickly finding my car. I had never driven off so quickly in my entire life.

I knocked on the door, and it was Sesshomaru that answered.

"Mother? You look…" he said trailing off.

I put my hand up. "Yes, I know. Do not speak of it." I said stepping inside. "Where is Kagome?"

He closed the door. "She is on her way back. She dropped Haruhi and Haruki off at Aoi's. They will be spending the weekend with her."

I set my bag down on the console table. " You should not be letting your pregnant wife do all this work."

"You know Kagome almost as well as I do. I can not stop her from doing anything she wants to do. So, why are you here and why do you look like this?"

I folded my arms. "That is not for you to know. I will wait for Kagome to get her. So that I may speak to her."

He looked at me, a strange look on his face.

"What is it?"

"Are you alright?"

I was taken aback by the question. "Why would you ask me that?"

"The last time I saw you look like this Myo- the last time I had seen you look like this you were sad about something. I am asking you if you are alright?"

I said nothing.

"I am your son. You can talk to me."

I wanted to say something, but I know how he felt about Kouga and I's friendship. I didn't want to cause an even bigger rift between the two.

I gave him a small smile. "You do not need to worry about me, Sesshomaru, I am fine. I will just wait for Kagome. Besides, these are women's problems."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are such a difficult woman."

"I know that. I am where you get it from." I joked.

We turned toward the door, hearing a car pull up front. Kagome came inside, Sesshomaru taking her things from her and placing a kiss on her forehead.

She smiled. "Kimi. How nice to see you again."

Then she noticed how I was dressed. "Sesshomaru, could you do me a favor and get that special ice cream that I like?"

"The ice cream in the store that is almost two hours away?"

Kagome smiled sweetly at him. "Yes, that one exactly."

He sighed, grabbing his keys. "I will be back," he said leaving.

Kagome grabbed my hand, pulling me into the den. She sat me down on the couch next to her; holding my hand in her own.

"Tell me what happened."

"It's been an entire month since I have seen our spoken to him."

"What, why?"

"I went home and apologized for the whole Epsom salt fiasco. I was behaving like an utter and complete fool. Since you opened my eyes to these burdensome feelings. He kept trying to find out what was bothering me, but I would not let him. I could not tell him why I was behaving that way. I was too afraid to tell him. I thought that I would ruin everything. I was afraid-"

"Of rejection." she finished for me.

I nodded. "I couldn't face him. I tried to run. Into the bathroom of all places. I was so nervous I ended up tripping backward and he fell on top of me. He was fine being that close to me. He showed no nervousness the way I did. Once he helped me off of the ground, I realized that him being so close to me was having an effect on me."

"You mean you finally realized how attractive this man is and you were starting to feel something."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yes… and he is a demon. So, I know that he was able to smell that I was aroused; and he had. The moment I heard him sniff the air I looked up. I could see the red in his eyes. His breathing became low, he was just towering over me, but then I called his name, and that seemed to snap him out. He apologized over and over. He grabbed his overnight bag and left. I ruined everything. Now, I have been avoiding him for the past month. I almost ran into him when leaving my apartment and I ran. I couldn't face him."

She gave my hand a squeeze. "This is a bit complicated, but it sounds like he is very attracted to you."

"Yes, but what if it is just lust?"

"Kimi, you would have the answer to that if you did not run from him."

"I do not know what I will do if he does not feel the same. I have had enough rejection in my lifetime Kagome."

"If you don't mind me asking, who is this mystery man anyway?"

"That is a secret; for now."

She smiled. "Alright, that's fair. I think you should talk to him."

"If he does not return my feelings?"

She gave me a sad smile. "Then, that is a bridge we will cross if and when the time comes."

I sat in my car, outside of the convenience store. I was drawing my sorrow in fatty snacks. This is not who I was. I am confident, I am fearless. Not a woman who sulks in a car and wears sweatpants. I ran my fingers through my hair.

"What have I become?"

There was a knock on my window. "Kimi, is that you?"

I rolled down my window. "Akira? What are you doing here?"

He led up a bottle. "Getting some water." He looked me up and down. "I almost didn't recognize you."

"Yes, well that makes the both of us. Is there something I could do for you?"

He cleared his throat. "I was hoping I could get my shoes and jacket back. You know, the ones I lost when your boyfriend threw me out."

"He is not my-" I sighed. "Alright. Come along, I will give them to you. I am sure that they are lying around somewhere."

He tapped the window. "Great." he said getting in the passenger seat."

As we rode up in the elevator. There was a part of me that hope I would not run into Kouga. Especially not with Akira next to me. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Apparently, I was not so lucky. There he was, standing by my door.