Chapter 16: As much as you'd like

The elevator doors opened. Akira and I stepped off. From the moment I saw him things felt as though they were moving in slow motion. I watched his head slowly turn towards me. He smiled when he saw me, but that smile slowly disappeared, and his shoulder sank when he saw Akira. His jaw clenched and he gripped the flowers in his hand. I watched the emotions play out on his features as I walked towards him. Confusion, anger, then finally sadness. He slowly shook his head, dropped the flowers by my door, and returned to his apartment. I wanted to chase after him. Why didn't I? Why was I still so afraid?

"Stay here, I will bring your things back to you," I said to him.

I went inside looking for his things. I'd found them and carried them out to him. He thanked me and with that, he left. I looked down at the bouquet of flowers at my feet. I picked them up and went inside. I closed the door, leaning against it, and sank to the floor. I plucked the card from the petals.

Kimi,

It's been a while. A month exactly today. I bought you these peonies. The shop owner said they symbolize care and healing. I hope that you will forgive me. If not, I hope that you will at least hear me out. There is something I need to tell you.

-K

I scrambled onto my feet. Opening the door I ran down the hallway; his card still in my hand. Knocking on his apartment door. I could hear him moving around inside, but he was ignoring me. I had to explain myself. As to why Akira was there with me in the first place. I banged on the door this time, and that had gotten his attention. The door swung open. He stood there with a blank expression on his face.

"What?" he said, his eyes on the floor.

"May I come in?"

"What for? If you want someone to occupy your time, you should ask Akira to come back."

He was hurt, but so was I.

I scowled. " What right do you have to be that way? You left me that night."

He clenched his jaw. "Yes you're right I did leave and now you have him"

He went back into his apartment, trying to close the door, but I would not let him. I caught it at the last second. I pushed it open and stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

"If you want to be upset. Fine be that way. What is this about?" I asked, holding up the card.

He plucked it from my fingers and tossed it in the trash. "Nothing. Forget that you even read it. You should be heading back now. I'm sure your boyfriend is waiting for you."

"He is not anything of the sort."

"Oh? Then why did you come in with him? What was he even doing here? Is this where you've been the last month? You were spending time with him while I was waiting by your door for you like some lost puppy."

"You left me!"

"Yes! I did! I was trying to calm myself down before I did something that I should not have done! I've spent the last month doing nothing but thinking about you, but you were too busy with him. It's obvious that I wasted my time."

"Is that what I am Kouga? A waste of your time?"

He said nothing. His chest heaved and his face was red.

"It took you an entire month to calm yourself down? You say you thought about me. Not once did you come to see me? What is your excuse for that hmm? You are not the only one who is angry or hurt."

He sighed, taking a seat on the couch. "I had no idea what to say to you. I had no idea how to explain myself. I could not face you after what I almost did. I had planned to apologize and explain myself, but see that you were preoccupied with someone else's company. I guess he is more than just a pretty face to you since you keep bringing him around."

"And if he is? Why would that bother you?"

I needed to hear the truth once and for all.

He shot up to his feet, clenching his fists. "YES!"

"Why?" she whispered.

He did nothing but stare at me.

I took a step toward him. "I asked you a question."

He turned his back to me. "Just go back to Akira."

I took another step closer. "I will give you one last chance to answer my question. If you do not wish to, that is fine. Then I will leave, and you will not hear from me again.

I could see his body stiffen. He did not want me to leave. Why was that so difficult for him to say? I had to push harder.

"That… is that all you see me as. Something to screw?"

He quickly turned around looking me in the eyes. "Are you insane, that is not true!"

"So then tell me what the truth is."

"I have feelings for you and you do not feel the same. I waited for you. I was ready to beg for your forgiveness, but then I saw that. Any man would be angry if the woman he wanted, came walking in with another man."

His facade had broken at that very moment. The anger was gone from his face. There was only sadness was left behind. I cupped his cheeks in my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"I have not spent any time with him. I ran into him by chance. He only wanted his things back. That is all."

I let my hands fall to my sides. The color drained from his face. I assumed he had realized that he behaved that way for nothing.

He dropped onto the couch. "Why did you let me go on like that?

I sat beside him, and he sheepishly looked at me. I ran my thumb over his blush-filled cheeks.

"I needed to know the truth."

He sighed. "Well, now you know," he said sadly.

I turned away from him. "I do not know why you are sad. I have the same feelings you do."

"You do?".

He sounded surprised. Kagome had been right again. Men were very oblivious. He rested his chin on my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my neck. It sent shivers down my spine. I leaned into him. I had laid on him and touched him many times before, but right it felt so different. I could feel a low rumbling coming from his chest. I felt a familiar sensation between my thighs. I squeezed them together, but I knew there was no point.

"So, then that night…" he said trailing off. Inhaling me from the crook of my neck.

"I wanted you too," I whispered.

He came closer to me, and laced his fingers with mine, using the other arm to pull me closer. I gasped as he flicked his tongue from the base of my neck to my ear. I quickly pulled away from him, breathing heavily. He had that look on his face again. Those lidded eyes, parted lips, and familiar red swimming in his blue eyes. He grabbed my hand and kissed my wrist. I snatched it away before he had done something I could not come back from.

"I will not let you touch me in the same room, let alone in the same apartment you had that woman in."

He quickly threw me over his shoulder, carrying me out into the hallway. He was in such a rush I had to close the door for him. It was the first time that I had been handled like this, and well… I wasn't opposed to it.

He had laid me on my bed. He took his time pulling off each article of clothing. I watched intently as he did. Between my legs getting warmer and wetter with each passing left nothing but his boxers on which disappointed me. He removed my shoes and my socks. He looked me straight in the eyes as he pulled my pants off. I was left in nothing but a shirt. I was never a fan of panties; they were restricting. He grabbed my hands. Making me sit up, he pulled the shirt over my head. I just there bare before him. I wanted to cover up and I wanted to hide. He was the only man to make me feel so inferior so without trying.

"You are so beautiful."

He grabbed me by the thighs, laying me on my back. I propped myself up onto my elbows. I didn't want to take my eyes off him. He kissed and nipped at my thighs. Making sure not to break eye contact. A single lick against my clit made my hips roll. He latched his lips around my clit and sucked, rolling and pinching my nipples as he did. He pulled away. Before I could open my mouth to speak he stuck his tongue in me, twirling it around.

"Oh, God." I moaned.

I could feel it. I was about to cum. I threw my head back in ecstasy. I could feel myself about to go over the edge. Then, he pulled away.

"What are you doing?" I breathed.

He slowly climbed on top of me.

He pushed my breasts together, sucking both of my nipples and making my back arch.

"I did not say you could cum yet Kimi."

I didn't know what had come over me. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I grabbed her breasts giving them a slight squeeze. I pushed them together, sucking her nipples. Her back arched as a result.

"I did not say you could cum yet Kimi."

She looked so beautiful underneath me. Her pale skin glowed in the moonlight that spilled through the window. Her nipples were the same pale pink as her lips. Her hair fanned out around her. Her chest heaved. I could tell how badly she wanted me. I took her all in. Such a dominant woman easily let me control her like this.

"Please," she whispered.

I stood, pulling off my boxers. Her eyes went wide, making me smile. Crawling on top of her, I pressed up against her and she rocked her hips against me.

"Say it again."

"Please." She repeated.

I touched my nose to hers. Crashing my lips against hers, slipping my tongue into her mouth, and thrusting into her. She moaned into my mouth. It only made me want to go deeper... and I did.

"Fuck!"

I smiled into the crook of her neck. I had never heard her say that before. I licked the shell of her ear, and I felt her tighten around me. She slipped her hands around my neck forcing me to look at her. I slid in and out of her slowly, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. She bit my lip pulling it, so I would come closer to her. I kissed her, grabbing her hips and picking up the pace. The sound of her moans echoed off her bedroom walls. Her back arched and walls tightened on me. I felt her nails dig into my back. I held her close feeling her body rock against me. Watched the sensations play out on her face as I stroked. She kissed my jaw and ran her fingers through my hair.

"I want more," she whispered.

I kissed the back of her hand. " I will give you as much as you'd like."