Chapter 17: Reassurance
AN: I received some reviews upset with they way the story is being told. This person think that they can tell me how to write MY story. That is not how this works. Let me say this once, and clearly. If you are upset with what I am writing. Do. Not. Read. It. Simple. Now, please enjoy the chapter.
I opened my eyes, squinting at the sun. I looked up at him as he slept peacefully. I smiled; his hair was all disheveled. He slept so soundly. It made sense. To go all night like that. I was surprised that I was even awake. It had been quite some time since I had been worn out like that. I shifted in bed, regretting the moment I had. I was sore all over. I pushed the sheet to the side, looking down at my body. I was covered in bitemarks and hickies. Trying to sit up I was immediately pulled back down. He buried his nose in my hair. Draping his leg and arm over me. He breathed me in and I just melted into him.
"Where are you going?"
I smiled into his shoulder. "I need to shower."
He slid out of bed, picked me up, and cradled me against his chest, as he walked me into the bathroom. I felt like some schoolgirl having her first crush. He set me down on the ground, running the water for me. He poured in the Epsom salt and added the oils.
How sweet, he remembered.
He turned around, looking me up and down. He had seen every inch of me last night and I still fidgeted under his gaze. He kissed my forehead.
"You're beautiful. There is no need to be nervous, not in front of me." he said, stepping into the tub.
He grabbed my hand, pulling me in with him. The water was scalding just the way that I liked it. He wrapped my hair up, twisting it around itself into a bun. I leaned against him
"You look much better marked up like this." He whispered in my ear.
I laughed, elbowing him. "You're such a dog." I joked.
A few moments of silence passed between us, before I felt the need to say something.
"I have never needed to ask this question with any man… but what are we, and what are we doing Kouga?"
"I know that I do not want you with another man."
"I do not want you with another woman."
He rested his chin on my shoulder. "I do not want to be with another woman."
I turned to face him. "Should we even be in a relationship? Are we ready for something like that… are you ready for someone like that? That kind of commitment. The love you have for Kagome, it won't just disappear overnight, and even though Myoga is gone... I still have these lingering feelings of what was."
He exhaled. "You are not wrong, but I cannot sit here any longer and ignore the feelings that I have for you. I tried that. We tried that, and it did not work. As for what I feel for Kagome… I had a talk with an old friend, and he helped me realize some things. What I feel when it comes to her is over half a millennia of just chasing someone who never returned my feelings. It is hurt and rejection all balled up into one. Between that, Ayame's unhealthy obsession with me, along with all those other women that didn't matter. I've never met a woman like you Kimi."
"If Sesshomaru were not in the picture, would you be with her?"
"At this very moment. No, not after everything I have come to realize."
I pulled my knees to my chest. "Do not lie."
He shook his head. "I am not lying Kimi." he wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "She is not my person, you are."
"Who do you want to be with?"
"You. Even if I had the opportunity to be with her I wouldn't take it, because I do not want to let go of you. I enjoy what we have. I can honestly say that I do not want to lose it, nor do I want anyone else to have you. Or have what I have with you."
I sighed. "I'm being insecure. I do not like that."
"I understand why. You've been hurt before. You're cautious with your heart, and there's nothing wrong with that. You don't need to worry about anyone." he said, pulling me between his legs.
I nodded. "Alright."
He leaned back, resting his arms on the side of the tub. "Besides, I'm risking my life for you." He joked.
"What do you mean?"
"I gave your son my word that this wouldn't happen. That you and I were just friends and nothing more. Now look at us. Look at what I did last night. That alone should be reassurance enough." he joked.
I smiled. "Yes, and hope that you do it again, and again." I said kissing him. "My son does not scare me Kouga."
"Your son does not scare me either. He has a hell of a temper though, and he hold a mean grudge."
"Then do not tell him."
"I'm not going to keep you a secret."
I smirked. "Had you answered anything but that, we would have had an issue."
He chuckled. "I have been alive long enough to know a trap when I see one."
I laced mt fingers with his. "When will you tell him?"
"Preferably not your apartment or mine. A public place, so that when he breaks something he will be liable for it., but soon."
I laughed, kissing his knuckles. "I am sure it will not be that bad."
I kissed her lips. "We shall see."