6. School Days

On Monday, Pony was almost glad to have to go back to school. School meant something to focus on…something to do all day that wasn't reading and watching TV and trying not to think about Bob. She'd always liked school pretty well, since it meant seeing her friends and hanging out with people her own age, instead of Soda and Drry's friends who were always around…not to mention the chance to be around other girls instead of boys all the time. Before she'd been moved up, she'd known a lot of the girls in her grade, and they'd have sleepovers and stuff, going together to the movies or to the diner to drink milkshakes and gossip. Susie was the only person she'd ever been real close to, though, and after she'd been moved up a grade, none of the girls had had much to do with her.

Still, even if she had to spend the whole day on her own, it was better than being in that house.

The day before when her brothers had finally come home from running around with the guys, they'd both seemed kind of surprised to see her there on the sofa, the TV on louder than usual.

"Hey, kiddo. I thought you'd be doing something with Susie," Soda had told her, looking guilty as he'd dropped onto the sofa beside her.

She'd just shaken her head, not looking up from her book for more than a second. "Nope."

He'd leaned over, bumping against her to try and get her attention, and usually that would have made her grin and push him away but she'd still felt weird…like she was watching herself sit there and read on the sofa and try to ignore her brother.

"How come?"

She'd shrugged, not sure what to tell him. Because they weren't speaking? Because Susie had quit track and it had felt like the worst thing in the world until the next day when something even worse had happened to her? Because Susie had new friends now and she was more alone than ever? Before she could do more than dismiss any of those, Darry had cut in.

"Turn that down, Pony," he'd ordered, turning off the radio. "You're gonna go deaf with the TV so loud. And how come you've got the radio on too, huh?"

Ignoring his question, she'd turned the TV off, the sudden silence jarring. "Sorry," she'd told him simply, grabbing her book and heading to her room where she'd stayed until it was time for dinner.

Soda hadn't tried questioning her again, but the next morning the two of them stood side by side, him drying the breakfast dishes she washed. She'd been the last one up and Darry had made breakfast, so the two of them were responsible for cleaning up while Darry got ready for work. After a moment, he glanced over at her, keeping his voice low, she guessed so Darry wouldn't hear. "You feeling okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You could have played with us yesterday, you know?"

"I'll bet Steve would have loved that."

Soda bumped his shoulder against hers, brow furrowed. "He could have dealt with it."

"Darry don't like me playing football," she reminded him, staring down at the sudsy water and refusing to look at him.

"He just doesn't want you getting hurt. But we all would have been careful."

"It's fine. I had stuff to do anyway."

Soda gave her a skeptical look but didn't push it, and again she felt like she was being a brat, but she didn't know how to stop it…didn't know how to just accept that Steve didn't like her and that Soda still hung around with him all the time. Again, she thought she ought to try harder to make more friends…do stuff with the girls on the track team and try to meet kids in her class. But the thought of getting to know another person when it was all she could do to avoid thinking about Bob Sheldon all the time felt so overwhelming she didn't think she could stand it. So she dismissed that thought, sitting on the couch to pull her shoes on.

Darry had lots of rules for her…way more than he had for Soda. The one he got the most irritated with her for breaking was not walking around town on her own, especially if it was late, or if she was walking from somewhere far like the movie house or the library. Places like Susie's house and the park were usually okay…at least, they were when some kid hadn't just been murdered not that far from their neighborhood. Despite that, she walked to school most mornings. It wasn't that far, and even if Darry didn't much like it, he usually didn't have time to drive her since he had to get to work and drop Sodapop off too, and she knew he didn't want to ask the guys to give her a ride every day. So she walked alone some of the time and promised to be careful. Other times she rode with Two-Bit when he drove Susie and had time to pick her up, especially if it was raining or real cold out, or she'd walk with Johnny when he didn't ride with Steve.

Johnny never minded walking with her, and although she had a feeling that Darry or Soda, or maybe both of them, had asked him to keep an eye on her when he could, she didn't mind walking with him either. He was always real nice to her, and he never made her feel like a tag-along or a kid. And on any normal day, she'd be glad to see him…glad to have some company. But she couldn't help feeling on edge that morning, so when he turned the corner and joined her, grinning and waving, she felt her stomach drop. Seeing Johnny just reminded her of how he'd looked that night when she'd come back from getting popcorn with Dally…how he'd seemed to suspect something was up.

"You alright?" he asked as he came to walk beside her, and she knew what he was talking about but pretended she didn't. Surely Dally wouldn't have told him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she told him like it was a weird thing to ask.

He kept looking over at her like he wanted to say something more, but he kept his mouth shut for a while as they walked. It was starting to get cold out but she'd actually remembered to wear a jacket today, and she pulled it around herself more tightly against the wind. The air was weird between them and she hated it and she hated herself for not being able to just act normal, but it was like she didn't know how anymore!

"Hey Pone?"

"Hm?"

"About Saturday…" Johnny trailed off, looking around as they approached the school. The parking lot was full of guys leaning in car windows and talking and girls standing around in groups, and she automatically started to look for Susie only to make herself quit a second later. "You, uh…you seemed kind of upset. When you came back from getting food with Dal."

She shrugged. "I was pissed at him. I wanted to go home but he would have snitched to Darry."

He seemed to think about that, then gave her a wry smile. "He just didn't want anything to happen to you, you dig?"

Pony snorted. "I doubt Dally would care if anything happened to me." She felt bad as soon as she said it, though. He'd looked awful mad when he'd found her on the ground that night…mad enough to kill Bob again if he could. And then he'd walked her home and told her to keep quiet, and he hadn't been mean or nothing. But still, she figured that was because he knew Darry would be pissed if she got hurt.

But why, she wondered all of a sudden. Why would Darry even care when he didn't want her around anymore? When he practically hated her? Wouldn't it be better for him if she just disappeared? The thought made her chest ache and she tried to dismiss it. She didn't want to think about Darry, or her fight with Susie, or what had happened Saturday at the movies. She just wanted to focus on school.

"Of course he'd care." Johnny's voice cut into her thoughts and she turned to find that he'd stopped in his tracks and was looking at her incredulously. "Jeeze, Pony. All of us would. We wouldn't let nothing happen to you. We're your friends."

She'd never seen it that way…not really. She liked most of the guys fine, and she knew they'd have her back, probably, if push came to shove. But they were Soda and Darry's friends. Still, that seemed rude to say to his face so she just shrugged.

"Besides, Darry would skin us if we didn't look out for you."

She knew Johnny was trying to joke around, but she still felt that ache inside when she thought about Darry…about how he used to be, and how he was now, always getting on her and never happy with anything she did. "Please. Darry wishes he'd gotten rid of me when he had the chance." Just saying it out loud made her eyes hot…her cheeks too. She hadn't meant to blurt that out, and him looking at her like that…like she'd just said something crazy, made a wave of embarrassment wash over her.

"That ain't true, Pony," he murmured, pity in his eyes, and all of a sudden she was so angry and humiliated she couldn't stand it.

"It ain't like you're wanted at home either, Johnny Cade," she snapped. "So you can quit looking at me like that."

Pony hated herself as she stormed off through the school parking lot. Hated that she'd let something like that slip, and hated that she'd said something so mean to Johnny who'd just been trying to make her feel better. He'd even gone out of his way to walk to her school, and she'd repaid him by acting like a bitch. Johnny had flinched back, looking bewildered like she'd slapped him, and bringing up his parents, she might as well have. But she'd already stormed off, and even though she wanted to turn around and apologize, she was too embarrassed, and he probably didn't want to talk to her anymore, anyway.

Pony threw herself into her classes, ignoring the guys that snickered at her any time she raised her hand, calling her a teacher's pet and a know it all behind her back. She told herself she didn't care. Not about any of it…not about fighting with Susie or Darry not wanting her or Soda being worried or how she'd yelled at Johnny. All she cared about was getting good grades and running track and getting a scholarship so she could get out. Who cared what the guys in her class thought about her? Those socs were all assholes as far as she was concerned anyway, and if she never had to talk to another one of them, it would be too soon.

She made it all the way through her second class without having to speak to them, keeping her eyes front and ignoring their whispers behind her back, but unfortunately, that was as long as it lasted.

Pony was standing at her locker, pulling out her algebra book and putting her history book away, when a shadow fell over her. Shuddering at the feeling of someone standing too close, she spun, stepping back against her locker when she found herself face to face with a guy she only vaguely recognized. Back to her locker, she saw Bob for a second…Bob backing her against the wall, his hands on her and his mouth on her and the knife she'd pulled out of her pocket.

She shook her head a little to dispel that thought and blinked hard, staring up at the boy standing too close to her and feeling stupid. It wasn't Bob. Bob was dead. But this guy had been a friend of Bob's...that was all she knew about him though. His name was…Alec, maybe? Alex? He was a soc, and one of Bob's buddies, and he was standing way too close to her.

"What?" Pony asked, not caring if she was rude.

"So you're Pony Curtis." He looked her up and down, nodding a little to himself and smirking, and she wished she were a boy so she could punch him in the face…start a rumble in the hallway. But she'd never punched anyone before and she knew girls weren't supposed to start fights like that and Darry would be so mad if she got in trouble. Besides, he hadn't done anything except stand too close and tell her who she was.

"Yeah. Who are you?"

He lifted an eyebrow like Keith and snorted. "Name's Allen. Word on the street is, you know who killed my buddy Bob."

She still didn't know if Allen was his first name or his last name, but she guessed it didn't much matter. His words had made all of her blood run cold, but she did her best not to flinch as her heart pounded so loud she worried he could hear it. There was no way in hell he could know. "I don't know what you're talking about. Move," she ordered, wishing she sounded more like Darry when he gave orders. Instead, her voice shook a little, and she turned around to hide the fear she knew was on her face, slamming her locker shut. Acting braver than she felt, she turned again and went to push past him only for him to plant a hand on her shoulder and pin her against the lockers.

Just like Bob.

Abruptly she could see it all again, in vivid color this time…she saw the empty field behind the bathrooms and she could hear the distant sounds of the stupid beach movie and the crunch of gravel under their feet and she could feel Bob's hands on her jeans…and the knife…

Her breath stuttered and she must have looked as scared as she felt because his lips started to turn up in a smirk. He was just like Bob, she realized with a jolt. He liked that she was scared.

"Get the hell off her!"

If she'd been expecting any kind of help, it sure as hell hadn't been from Steve Randle. But he was the one that grabbed Allen by the back of his jacket and shoved him across the hall, coming to stand between him and Pony. His girlfriend, Evie, was right behind him, and although they'd almost never talked to each other other than to say hello, she put a hand on Pony's shoulder. Before Steve could even turn back to look at them, she was leading Pony to the girl's room, steering her and walking fast. In the hallway behind them, the guys were squaring off, their buddies all coming around to back them in case it turned into an all out rumble, and the girls were getting out of the way, most of the hurrying to class.

The bathroom was empty except for a soc girl putting her lipstick on, and Evie ignored her as she turned to Pony, looking her up and down like she might be hurt. Even though she wasn't, to her shame, Pony felt hot tears filling her eyes and threatening to spill over.

"You alright, honey?" Evie asked softly, and the soc girl glanced at them before going back to her reflection.

Pony liked Evie just fine, even though the girl did somehow find Steve Randle attractive. Despite that lapse in judgment, Evie was real smart, and she was usually nice too. Pony liked her better than Sandy, but she knew that was probably because it felt like Sandy was taking her favorite brother away sometimes. Still, she knew she couldn't blab everything to Evie just because she was nice. "Yeah," she whispered, nodding and trying to convince the both of them. "I'm alright. He didn't do nothing."

She wasn't going to think about Bob pinning her against the wall or the way the knife had felt going into his back. She wasn't going to cry about it. Not now.

"You sure?" Evie put a hand under her chin and tilted her face up, obviously noticing the tears she wouldn't let fall. "What did he say to you?"

It wasn't like it was going to be a secret, so she told the truth. "He said I knew something about Bob…about him getting killed. I never saw him that night though…I was with Dallas. But he wouldn't let me get by." She shrugged like it didn't matter, even if Allen scared her a lot. They all did, those socs. They were rich and they were mean and they hurt people for fun…but lots of greasers did too.

"Why would he think something like that?"

"I don't know," she admitted, wiping a hand over her eyes. She really didn't. How the hell could he know? He hadn't been there…no one had! No one but Dally, and she knew Dally would sooner die than tell anyone what had happened.

Evie thought for a moment. "You want Steve to drive you home? He will. I can come too, if you want."

Pony shook her head. The last thing she needed was her brother finding out she'd skipped school and that some soc was harassing her, especially considering why he was harassing her. She was suddenly glad that Soda wasn't in school with her anymore. She wasn't sure exactly how he would have reacted to finding her pinned against her locker by that asshole, but she knew it wouldn't have been good. "I'm alright. Thanks, though."

She nodded. "Alright, Pony. Come on. I'll walk you to class."

By the time they stepped out of the bathroom, the guys had all cleared out, and Pony didn't know if their fight had been broken up by a teacher or if they'd taken it outside, but she was glad she didn't have to face Steve and try to explain what had happened. He was always a pain to deal with, and he'd probably find some reason for the whole thing to be her fault. Just thinking about it made her mad. She sure as hell hadn't asked him to jump in.

She had to admit though, if only to herself, she was real glad he'd been there.

Pony had lunch right after her third class, and she sure as hell didn't want to go to the DX with Steve, Johnny, and Keith like she did sometimes…not when Steve would definitely be telling her brother what had happened. Or when she'd have to ride in the back seat with Johnny considering how she'd treated him that morning. So instead, she headed to the library, picking a table in a semi-hidden spot in the back and working on her homework. Ignoring her rumbling stomach, she managed to finish all of her homework before the bell rang, then headed to her fourth class, once more focusing only on the teacher and making sure her notes were absolutely perfect.

And then it was time for art.

When she stepped into the art classroom, Pony told herself that she wasn't going to look over at Susie any more than absolutely necessary. She had a horrible feeling that if she looked her best friend in the eye, she might just start crying. Or maybe she'd blurt out the whole horrible story. So when her friend sat down across from her, Pony pretended to be engrossed in her drawing, and Susie, as soon as she was settled in, did the same. And Pony hated it. She hated that she didn't know how to apologize or make this better and she hated herself for starting the fight in the first place and she hated Susie for abandoning her. But there wasn't a thing she could think of to do about any of it, so once more, she focused on her assignment and the teacher and when the final bell rang, she let Susie go first, waiting until her friend was out of the room before even starting to pack up her stuff.

Pony made her way slowly to the front of the school, making sure to give Susie and Keith plenty of time to get out of the parking lot so he didn't offer a ride. She was almost to the front door, zipping up her jacket since she figured it would be cold, when Steve stepped in front of her, pulling her out of her thoughts of Susie and their fight and making her stop short so she didn't run into him. At first, she'd been afraid it was Allen again, but even though he was less likely to hurt her, she didn't want to see him any more than she wanted to see the soc. So she started to step around him, only for him to roll his eyes and reach for her, freezing when she jerked away.

She was so sick of these guys grabbing her!

"Hold up. I'm gonna give you a ride home on my way to work."

"No thanks," she told him flatly, but although he didn't grab her again, he did hurry to fall into step beside her.

"Come on, kid. I ain't got time for this. I've got to get to work."

"Then go to work."

He swore under his breath, jogging to get in front of her so she had to stop again.

"Did Evie put you up to this?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Either you get in my car, or I go tell Darry what happened today."

She crossed her arms, glaring. "You're an asshole, Steve."

"Yeah, so I've heard. Come on."

He waited until she was in the passenger seat of his car to speak again. "I already told Soda."

She huffed. "Of course you did."

"He was gonna find out anyway."

Pony didn't answer.

"How come Allen Russell thinks you know something about Sheldon?"

So that was his name. "Hell if I know. I was with my friends or Dally the whole time."

"Which friends?"

"None of your business."

"Jesus, kid. What the hell is your problem?" he snapped, apparently running out of patience with her, and she didn't even blame him. He was being something close to nice and she was being awful and why did she keep acting like this? Why did she keep snapping at everyone that tried to talk to her? Why couldn't she just act normal?

She kept seeing Bob on top of her and she kept feeling his hands on her and she'd killed him! She'd killed him and she'd go to jail if anyone found out and Darry wouldn't care because he hated her and Susie wouldn't care because she'd been so stupid and heaven knew Steve would be glad to get rid of her.

What was wrong with her? What was so horrible about her that her own brother didn't want her? That her best friend didn't want her anymore either? Sometimes the loneliness hit her so hard she couldn't stand it, but usually she was in the shower or in her room at night, trying to fall asleep. Now she was sitting in Steve Randle's car and to her horror, a tear was falling down her cheek, and it wasn't like he needed another reason to think she was a baby.

Steve swore under his breath, turning back to the road, and they were silent until he pulled up to her house. When he spoke, his voice was softer than usual, like he was scared someone would overhear. "Look…I ain't gonna tell Darry, alright? It ain't none of my business. Soda probably won't either if you ask him. Just…if he's bugging you at school, get one of us, alright?"

Pony glanced at him but he was staring out at their street. "Yeah," she whispered.

He turned back to her then, and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but she grabbed her backpack and climbed out of the car before he could, hurrying into her house and wishing she could go to the movie house instead.

But not the drive-in. She didn't know if she could ever go to the drive-in again.