"Now that I think of it," you trailed as Erwin searingly glared, "it's kinda blurry now, maybe because it isn't bound to make sense in the first place?"

But see, he was the Commander for a reason. You know better than that.

When did you start hesitating in telling everything? You were so excited to spill it out. You started with the very first moment he appeared in the series—exhausted, dirty, utterly sullen—then to the most valiant battle he had led in your opinion, up to his last moments where you emphasized how his smile affected you that you still get sad recalling that particular frame.

Oh, you were so enthusiastic, so excited, and so proud. You fleshed out your admiration; how you still consume his content from time to time to destress.

It is until he asked, his face not changing and chin propped to his palm, "You seem so happy about it despite how tragic it sounded. Where have you seen it? How?" that you realized how insensitive you are.

Or how unready you are to unveil what he actually was.

The Erwin Smith you're facing isn't just some cinematic device. He's a genuine human being who started sitting with you at the cafe every afternoon to listen to your stories; so curious to the point of freeing his appointments to accommodate your blabbers, to have him treat you to food every single time because you can barely afford what's on the menu. You remembered, most of all, that the reason he's doing this is because of the torment. You saw that world as mere content; he is feeling it raw.

It's been three days since you started being so evasive about it, so the Commander looks like losing his patience this time around.

"I started seeing it in my dreams too," you grudgingly lied, "that's why it doesn't make sense."

"It is making sense until that question," his annoyance is quite palpable now. "I'll appreciate it if you answer me properly this time."

"I don't know how to answer that."

The face he pulled out next was the one bargaining for something, "I came to dig down into you recently. You've got no relevant title, came from a measly school in the countryside, and yet you managed to transfer to a quite known university. I was a former student there and as far as I'm aware, they don't accept people of no background just easily. How did you manage to do that?"

That's a bit rude.

But most importantly, you're starting to feel the shift in his demeanor. He was benign a moment ago. Now with his elbows resting on the table and eyes scrutinizing you more daringly, you feel like you're about to become some sort of target.

This might not end well today.

"I am yet to confirm the accuracy of your records but—"

"Is data privacy nonexistent in this world?"

"In this world?" Now he looks amused.

"I don't think you're allowed to have that much information about me."

However, he brushes off your concern as if it was nothing then continues, "And going back I realized, how strange it is that you've been nothing but someone blurry for me—and for others, that is—until that day at the police station."

You decided to be defiant. "You're not addressing my concern, Mr. Smith. We barely know each other. The only thing that connects us is the teacher I'm working with as an assistant." And I haven't even met him personally yet! "I must be the one shooting daggers right now."

"Is that so?"

You backtracked. Screw the bargaining face, this is the one he pulls out when he's about to obliterate someone. You hid your nervousness by saying, "Be straight to the point and I might let you off from invading my privacy."

"You're the one who needs to speak clearly so I would let you off. Let's have a deal. I won't spill the possibility of you forging your identity in exchange for telling me everything about that world."

"I'm not forging my identity!" Well, it is forged but you believe you're not the one to be held responsible.

"So you don't mind Nile investigating that, hm? I'm afraid you'll have your jobs jeopardized because of it, though. Would that be fine for you?"

How could he say that so calmly?

"I'm not guilty but don't ever go to my jobs. I can even barely afford the food here."

"And I see that so well. That's why I'm making a deal."

You can't even sip the drink he humbly bought you anymore. You're having a hard time revealing how you genuinely see his existence but to play around with him is futile too.

To tell a good lie is to sprinkle ounces of truth—or someone said so. You don't remember who that character is but, "How do you see it exactly, Mr. Smith? I'm certain you don't space out on a random day then find yourself in a war against giants, do you? Because in my case, I see it vividly in my sleep. I'm sorry for being evasive about it because it's too graphic to handle but—"

"I told you I'm not taking that," he spat. "Now speak the truth or else—"

"But the scariest thing is that I can't remember everything about me ever since the dreams started!"

And there his doubt paused, "What?"

"I took unannounced leave at my part-time job because I didn't remember working there until I checked the records in my closet. I landed at the police station on the exact day because I was asking them who I am. Ask the convenience store people about it."

"I already did," he mused; you shot your eyes open. He really is taking your existence seriously. "And while I need more proof of your claims, I wouldn't take that as a lie."

"Even if you ask me who my family is or what my town looks like when I was a kid, I wouldn't be able to answer you. I have no idea what this place is."

"You were nothing but someone blurry for everyone until I confronted you at the police station. Even my senior you're currently working with couldn't give me a proper answer when asked about you. What does that mean?"

"Is this senior named Dot Pyxis? I saw him in my contact info."

"You don't remember him as well?" The curl in your face answered his question. Still, he pressed. "Tell me more about your situation."

"I remember him in that world just as I remember you and Nile being commanders, but I don't know who you are here. I don't know how I was able to enter that university, how I settled on that apartment, or how I applied for jobs. All I remember are those dreams. If you still don't believe me in this, then let's call this a day."

"I believe you right now."

Uncertain if you were supposed to sigh in relief, you just lied, "That's why I don't want to talk about this."

"I apologize for the quite uncomfortable conversation then," he doesn't sound so, though. "But if you're in a situation like this, the most important thing to have is someone who believes you, don't you think so?"

"You're the most rational person I see in that dream so it's not surprising to think you're just amusing yourself with my uncanniness."

"That isn't entirely wrong."

"Then I don't see the rationale of us talking. Let me go home."

Finally, his face subsided into benignness again. "We have a deal. Let me deconstruct your situation and I won't spill your forge of identity to the authorities."

"This is not a deal. You're blackmailing me."

"Well," he pondered, "it can be seen that way."

"It really is that way."

"But see, I'm the only one who could help you and you know it," he tipped his head to the side, flat but utter confidence reeking out, "are you really in the leverage to deny me?"

He's not entirely wrong. But if the Commander is the one to make a deal, then; "I need to have clearer conditions on that."

He smiled. Oh, that face. Finally. The genuine bargaining face. "Tell me what you need."

"I need to learn the ways of this world," you realized how strange it sounded so you added, "—relearn, I mean. I need to relearn everything."

"Alphabet…?"

"No. The laws. How things work. This world's history."

"I'm a teacher for a reason." Then it's his turn to bargain, "Your mere storytelling won't be enough for me. You need to prove your claims."

You don't know how to compensate for that, "How can I prove myself if I don't know anything?"

"I told you, didn't I? I'm yet to confirm the accuracy of your records."

"So you want to take the lead in unraveling who I am?"

He nodded, "Let's start by going to your hometown this weekend."

"You seem to have lots of time."

"I can always make a way."

You pondered in conflict. It's in his nature to chase around things he's genuinely curious about so his behavior about your upbringing isn't too surprising. However, if this journey reveals the truth about his existence then what would happen to him? To you? "I swear to be transparent with you but I want to take the lead on that part."

"I'll secure your daily finances," he bargained further.

"You don't need to. I just—"

"I'll see to it that your studies won't be disrupted as we go further with my methods," he interjected, "I have all the resources to do that."

"No, I'm telling you—"

"I'll secure your spot in assistantship with my senior. If you're not aware, your job is temporary and in demand. You need to further your credentials to continue working with him."

"Oh my god, really?" You got thrilled with that and so he nodded, but then you realized he's swaying you towards complying with his demands. "No, no. This isn't about that! I need boundaries on this, Mister—"

"Call me Erwin."

"Erwin! Okay, we're talking about my personal life. You should understand that much."

"I'm not the one to rely on what is said. I need to see things unfold by myself. That's why I'm willing to offer more in exchange. All I need is your compliance."

How do I turn this in my favor? You fiddled in your seat and whispered, "But what if I were to unravel something uncomfortable about myself that I'm not willing to explore…?"

He nodded flatly, "Oh, yeah. That type of boundary. I can respect that."

Man, this one got hard guts, but you can work around that. "Tell me about the arrangement in my studies."

"You're an undergraduate in the secondary education department and since my senior, Mr. Pyxis, is one of your professors, you got an assistantship in the high school campus we're working as teachers. However, he couldn't remember the reason why you're the one who got the job when I asked. I deduced that it might be due to his age but your colleague in the convenience store said the same thing." Yikes. That's rough. "See, now that Mr. Pyxis got the awareness, he's considering to replace you with someone of better credentials. I can do two things with that: encourage him to fire you and work with someone better, or urge him to let you stay. But the only way I could know what to say is by working around knowing what your background really is."

"You're phrasing it too much in your favor."

"I am," he quickly admitted, "but am I wrong, though?"

"Cunning bastard," you huffed inaudibly. "Next, how would you be able to teach me about the ways of this world?"

"Let's go to your hometown this weekend. I can tell you things along the way."

Realizing how the deal benefits you way more than him, you reached a hand for a shake, "Deal."

He returned it with a smile and called your name, "I'll be in your care then."