A/N: If you're curious what song they're dancing to, it's "Tell Me Do U Wanna" by Ginuwine.
Popping the lid off the rear access to the holodeck, Tendi looked around and determined that the coast was clear.
"This makes me think of the time we were here during T'Ana and Shaxs's shag fantasy session," Boimler whispered in Mariner's ear from behind her. She felt his warm breath on her neck as he leaned into her and couldn't help but find it sexy as hell.
"Eww, don't remind me," she whispered back over her shoulder, making a disgusted face.
They safely made their way into the party and through the crowded dance floor. It was pretty clear that more than just the four of them were crashing the party. Even though Gamma shift was on duty, Mariner saw more than just a few of the Gamma shift lower deckers dancing and having a good time.
"I'll get us some drinks," Mariner said, pulling Boimler along with her.
"We gotta play it cool in front of Tendi and Rutherford," Mariner whispered to Boimler as they stood in line at the bar.
"You mean I can't kiss you in front of all of these people? After all, we are best friends," Boimler teased, not able to keep a straight face.
"Listen…" Mariner said, gearing up to threaten him but changing directions at the last second as that familiar swooping feeling hit her body, "It's going to depend on how strong the drinks are tonight."
"I didn't expect that answer," Boimler replied, grabbing two drinks and following Mariner back into the crowd.
"You're not the only one who knows how to be bold, Bradward," she glanced over her shoulder, raising one eyebrow teasingly. She continued on in front of him, and he admired her butt briefly before catching up with her.
Tendi and Rutherford were standing very close together at a high-top table as they approached. "Look at the body language," Mariner whispered, leaning close to Boimler, their shoulders touching. She nodded toward Tendi and Rutherford.
"Oh, you mean their body language," Boimler smirked, nudging her gently with his elbow.
She again regarded him with a raised eyebrow again. "Who in the world are you tonight?" she whispered back.
"Bold Boimler, who do you think?" he laughed.
The four stood at the table, chatting about random things that had happened throughout their shift, Rutherford gushing about a project that brought him high praise from Billups. Mariner and Boimler shared a look: neither of them had been able to get over the events that had occurred when Billups' mother had faked her and Rutherford's deaths.
"Mariner! Come dance with me!" Jet yelled over the music, waving her over.
She shook her head and waved him off with a smile, knowing that Boimler was watching her closely. She had no interest in Jet at all but was amused at the fact that Boimler disliked Jet and was likely fuming. She glanced over at him with a smile, acting oblivious, and saw a grimace on his face.
"Come on, let's go get another drink," she said, grabbing his hand.
"Don't pout," she whispered to him, pulling him close as they weaved through the crowd, "you don't have to be jealous… even though it's kind of cute."
He rolled his eyes but gave her a half smile that she knew meant that he was going to be pouting for a little while longer. He ordered their drinks as Mariner glanced around the holo-generated club scene, spotting Ransom talking to one of the visiting scientists. The commander was putting on his best charm, but he was just a meat head in a hot body.
"Would you feel better if I gave you a half assed apology like the one you gave me last night?" she said to him as they ventured through the crowd again.
The tension released from his face, and he laughed out loud, putting his arm around her shoulder. "You can't apologize for being a bad ass," he whispered in her ear.
"Is Bold Boimler back?" she replied, her arm around his waist as they arrived back at the table with Tendi and Rutherford. He replied with a wink, and she laughed.
About 4 drinks in, Mariner was ready to dance, and the perfect slow jam song was blasting. Not caring that Boimler and Rutherford were in the middle of a conversation, she pulled Boimler's arm and started guiding him to the extremely crowded dance floor.
"Just this one, please?" she said, hoping her smile was as irresistible as she thought it was.
"I think I'm drunk enough for this," he laughed, her smile hitting him like a ton of bricks. Very beautiful bricks.
She didn't know if it was the song or the alcohol, but every molecule in her body felt like it was bubbling in excitement. His hands on her body felt like electricity, and she pulled him closer as the song rose in a crescendo.
"I want this song to last forever," she whispered to him as the music softened to its conclusion.
They stepped apart but he held her hand. "Me too," he replied.
Boimler was asleep in the bunk above Mariner as the alcohol started wearing off, her mind churning out terrifying scenarios. That's what she always did: catastrophize and sabotage. Maybe this would be easier if they stayed "best friends," she thought. Boimler was bound to get promoted, get transferred, or die in some horrific accident.
"He won't be able to handle you," she thought to herself, curling up in a ball under her blanket. Doubts continued to fill her brain like a bunch of embarrassed Dooplers, and she closed her eyes, willing the fears to go away. "He's making a huge mistake," her thoughts continued, her stomach feeling very queasy.
"Are you okay?" Boimler leaned over and asked Mariner softly. They were knee deep in capacitors in an auxiliary engineering alcove.
She paused for a minute, unsure what to say. He was her best friend, the only one she trusted with her thoughts and problems. But in this moment, when he was the problem, she had nowhere to go.
"I'm alright. Just a little hungover from last night," she lied with a strained smile. The guilt hit her stomach instantly, making her nauseous. In reality, she'd stayed up most of the night panicking and running worst case scenarios.
She was thankful that they had been assigned an easy but tedious job for the first half of their shift so that she could zone out as needed. Boimler removed the next capacitor out of the rack and set it on the table for Mariner to scan.
"You got plans for shore leave in a couple days?" he asked, trying to take her mind off her hangover.
"Um, I haven't really thought about it. My parents are going to Venice, so I will be alone unless we make plans," she avoided his eyes, quickly recalibrating the capacitor and setting it aside to be rotated out of this bank of capacitors into another.
"We definitely have to make plans! I'm not staying at the raisin farm all week," he grumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, I'll see what Tendi and Rutherford are planning on doing," Mariner said, uncharacteristically oblivious to what Boimler was saying between the lines.
"Oh, I mean, yeah, we can ask them too. But I thought maybe just you and I could hang out some?" he stammered, suddenly nervous.
Mariner couldn't help but smile as her stomach flip-flopped again, but this time in a pleasant way. "Definitely."
"Are you sure you're okay? You're so quiet," he stared at her, starting to get concerned.
"I'll be okay. Maybe I'll go to sickbay over lunch," she said, planning an excuse to eat lunch alone with Tendi, hoping Tendi would have some satisfactory advice since she couldn't talk it out with Boimler.
"Well, if something's going on that you want to talk about, let me know. I'm here," Boimler said, leaning against the wall to study her for a moment.
LINE BREAK
Tendi and Mariner met in sickbay to provide the cover for Mariner's hangover excuse, Mariner even asking Dr. T'Ana administer some anti-nausea medication to her.
"Okay, let's go see if a Holodeck is open," Tendi suggested, pulling Mariner along, "I can tell something is wrong with you."
"I just need to talk, and I can't talk to Boims about this," Mariner said, glancing around as they ran down a back corridor and boarded a turbolift to the holodecks.
"I assume this has something to do with how you guys were dancing last night," Tendi smirked, "and yes, I saw that."
Mariner cringed as she walked into the holodeck.
"Why does that bother you?" Tendi asked pointedly.
Mariner programmed a generic restaurant, and they sat down at a table on the patio, a cool spring breeze swirling around them.
"Because I think I'm in love with him and it scares the shit out of me," Mariner blurted out as the holographic waitress arrived at their table. They quickly ordered lunch; Mariner's face beet red from embarrassment.
Tendi's eyes were wide as she finally looked back at Mariner. "Since when did this happen?"
"Forever. Yesterday. I don't know!" Mariner covered her face with her hands with a groan.
"And tell me how this is a bad thing?" Tendi asked, confused.
Mariner sighed. Explaining this to Tendi wasn't going to be as easy as talking to Boimler, who basically read her mind every time she had a problem.
"Two reasons. One, I'm a bad ass scary bitch, and falling in love with someone is really going to ruin my reputation. Two, how do I know he won't leave me or get killed?" Mariner rambled, finally stopping to look Tendi in the eyes. Mariner took a deep breath and slowly blew it out, tears forming in her eyes.
"Wow," Tendi paused, letting it sink in, "Let's start with the easier of the two, your reputation."
"Boims and I are like this inseparable comedic duo, who simultaneously cause and solve all of the Cerritos' problems on a daily basis," Mariner explained while Tendi chuckled.
"You realize that other people are responsible for messing things up too, right? Most of the time it's Ransom or Dr. Migleemo," Tendi comforted her, "But I won't disagree that you and Boimler are quite the duo."
Tendi regarded her for a moment while she formulated an additional response, "Have you ever wondered why you and Boims are such a good pair?"
"I feel like this is a trick question. We fight constantly," Mariner scoffed.
"You fight because of all of the sexual tension," Tendi said matter-of-factly.
Mariner sputtered and attempted to respond but stopped, realizing that Tendi was probably right.
"So how do I save my bad-ass reputation?" Mariner asked after a moment.
"I think you have to be willing to lose it," Tendi concluded, "Relationships always come with risks, and I think you're afraid that people are going to find out that you have feelings and that there's a softer side to you. I would personally welcome the softer side of you if I got to see you being happy."
Mariner sighed. It really was time that she started to grow up and take life a little more seriously. Her brief brush with civilian life showed her where she really wanted to be and who she wanted to be there. However, this kind of a change required vulnerability, and she had built up a very hard protective shell over the years.
"Okay, let's say that I'm willing to lose my Black Ops mystique. What happens when he gets transferred again? Or what if he dies on a mission?" Mariner asked, knowing that Tendi would not have such an easy answer for this dilemma.
"It's the risk we all take when we take the oath. My heart would be broken if something happened to you, but that's part of making friends in Starfleet," Tendi said gently.
"And you know how I feel about goodbyes. Everyone leaves me," Mariner said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Have you talked to him about any of this?" Tendi reached across the table to squeeze Mariner's hand.
Mariner shook her head. "I think I'm afraid of the answers."
"That he will reject you?" Tendi frowned.
"No, that he will be in love with me too. And then we will have to give this a shot and I will have to be vulnerable," Mariner groaned.
"So? Why is that so bad?" Tendi responded, trying not to laugh at her friend's obtuseness.
"If it doesn't go well, not only will I have lost someone I love, but I'll also be losing my best friend," Mariner said, tears of frustration finally rolling down her cheeks.
"That's the risk. But if you don't take the leap, you could risk losing your soulmate and potentially the love of your life," Tendi said softly, squeezing Mariner's hand again.
"This is too much for me right now," Mariner wiped her eyes, "All my brain can do is think about how this will go wrong."
"You have to talk to him," Tendi said with finality.