"Where did you go?" Mariner sent to Boimler's PADD.
She had run into him after lunch, her face still blotchy from crying on the holodeck, and his concern was evident. "I think I'm ready to talk," she had said, so they had agreed to meet up after dinner.
"Holodeck 2. Come join me."
She stood next to her bunk, trying to decide if she should change out of her uniform, eventually deciding to put on a t-shirt and sweats so that she could pretend they'd been working out if anyone asked.
She darted out of the corridor of bunks and caught the turbolift up to the holodecks. Tendi and T'lyn were coming out of Holodeck 1 as she exited the turbolift, and she waved at them. "Klingon calisthenics time!" she shouted a little shrilly, overcompensating. T'lyn appeared taken aback but Tendi cheerfully waved as they passed.
She slipped quickly into Holodeck 2 and found herself on Douglas Station. She smiled and knew exactly where he would be. She climbed the steps and took a deep breath to steady herself and the insane group of butterflies in her stomach. Her hand shaking slightly, she opened the door to "Kirk's Bar."
He was sitting at the bar, nervously waiting for her. When the door opened, he looked up at her and their eyes met. The second she saw him, her heart skipped a beat and she couldn't help but smile at him. "Hey," he said softly, standing up to give her a hug, "You feeling any better?"
"A little," she replied, lingering in his hug for a second longer than was acceptable for "friends."
"I invited Rutherford and Tendi, but I told them 21:00 so we could talk for a while," he said as he pulled out a chair for her.
"Wow, Bold Boimler is chivalrous," Mariner teased, sitting down in the chair. The holo-bartender sat two drinks in front of them and Mariner grabbed hers immediately, downing half of it in one gulp. Tendi managed to quiet the loudest of the voices of doubt in her brain, but a few were still in there rattling around and causing havoc.
"I heard that there's an away mission tomorrow, and our favorite lower deckers have been assigned," Boimler said, raising his glass to clink it with hers.
"How'd you hear that?" she looked at him with curiosity. Boimler was always getting his gossip from the towel guy, and it was typically very accurate.
"Towel guy overheard Ransom telling the barber this afternoon. Apparently, he needed a fresh cut because the planet is full of beautiful women," Boimler smirked. Mariner's cheeks flushed; now she was going to be the jealous one.
"At least I'll be there to keep all of you out of trouble," she said, crossing her arms with a smirk, attempting to act normal as they performed their usual banter.
"I hope we won't be getting into any trouble while we work on their power infrastructure, but something is bound to happen when Ransom is involved," he said, drinking the rest of his drink and indicating to the bartender that he wanted another.
"I hope he doesn't turn into a giant floating head again," Mariner mused.
"I hope we don't get kidnapped again," Boimler sighed, the memories from Argos III still fresh.
"I'll be on Boimler protection duty," she teased him, nudging him with her shoulder as they sat close together.
"I couldn't ask for a better bodyguard," he laughed, putting his arm around her.
They looked at each other for a moment, and Mariner couldn't stop herself from blurting out the uncomfortable question she'd been chewing on for two days, "So… are we more than friends now?"
"Um… I have that same question," he replied, "Is this what you've been upset about?" She could tell he was nervous.
All she could do was nod and take a drink of her cocktail, avoiding his eyes for a moment while they both sat in silence.
"Okay, so then you tell me," he said softly.
"You know I'm not into labels…" she started but stopped, instantly feeling like she was being a coward. It was time to be a grown up.
"I know," he said. She saw a tiny flash of disappointment on his face, and she willed herself not to look away as the conversation got hard. He wasn't just some random person she was dating out of boredom; as Tendi had reminded her, he was potentially the love of her life.
"…but there are a few things that I know for certain," she recovered, "and you have to pinkie swear that you're not going to tell anyone this because it will completely ruin my reputation."
He held his pinkie out to her with a smile and she hooked her pinkie around it. "I will kill you if you let anyone know that I have feelings, especially ones like these," she warned.
"It's incredibly hard for me to get close to someone. You know this. You're the only one who really knows this. You're the best friend I've ever had," she rambled, trying to get up the nerve to say what she wanted to say.
She could tell he was bracing himself for rejection and she didn't really know how to reassure him.
"I'm not good at this," she sighed, her voice tight from not able to form the words she really wanted to say.
"It's okay. No matter what you say, we will still be best friends," he said softly.
"Boims," she said with an exasperated sigh, determined to explain, "I wake up in the morning and immediately look to see if you're awake. I look for you in every crowd. When something good happens, you're the first person I want to tell. When something bad happens, you're the one that makes me feel better. When we're fighting, I feel sick. And I recently realized that I feel all of these things because I'm in love with you."
Unable to read the expression on his face, she paused and swallowed, her throat becoming even tighter, "but when you left for the Titan, what remained of my heart shattered into a million pieces. And in case you haven't noticed, when I get hurt, I get mean."
Tears welled up in her eyes and she forced herself to continue talking. "Everyone leaves me. So, if I'm going to give you any of the broken pieces of my heart, you have to be careful with them."
He blew out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and then pulled her in for a hug, which brought on a fresh wave of her tears. "Do not tell anyone I cried. Not even Rutherford!" she warned him, her voice muffled as she buried her face in his shoulder.
In the silence, his thoughts raced. She was in love with him? When did this happen and how did he miss it while also being in love with her?
"I'm sorry, I'm still really emotional about this. I've tried to let it go but it keeps coming back up," she sniffled, angry at herself for getting so worked up.
"Don't apologize for your feelings. I never should have left like that," he said, rubbing her back as she tried to get her emotions under control, "I think I left that way because I couldn't bear to say goodbye to you."
"But what happens the next time a promotion comes along? I can't go through that again," she regarded him with red rimmed eyes, trying to control her breathing.
"We will just have to find a ship that has a place for both of us. Because I'm not leaving without you next time," he assured her.
"Do you really mean that?" she asked in a whisper.
"I do. And if you resign your commission, then so will I," he said as she shook her head firmly.
"No way. We're getting you in the captain's chair," she reminded him.
They both laughed and looked back at their drinks, slightly uncomfortable.
"So back to the question at hand," she said, her voice coming back to its usual confident timbre, "what are we?"
"If you don't want the label, I don't need it," he said, and she held up her hand to stop him.
"We both know that's not true," she teased gently, her eyes meeting his.
"Guilty," he shrugged with an embarrassed smile. She could always see right through him.
"Everyone already thinks I'm your girlfriend anyway, so I don't see any reason not to be," she laughed.
"Do I still have to call you Mariner?" he asked with a smirk.
"Definitely. Because I'm not calling you Brad in front of Ransom," she laughed, "and besides, I'm quite fond of calling you Boims."
"When do I get to call you Becky?" he asked, trying to keep a straight face.
"That privilege is earned," she replied sternly as the door to the bar opened, revealing Rutherford. She squeezed Boimler's knee to let him know that they would continue their conversation later.
Tendi was noticeably absent. "Where's Tendi?" Mariner asked as Rutherford sat down and ordered a drink from the bartender.
"Oh, she had to study. She was in the mess hall with about 5 PADDs all around her when I went to find her," he said, taking a drink of the purple concoction the bartender had sat in front of him.
Mariner couldn't believe that Tendi would miss out on an opportunity to spend time with Rutherford, so she sent her a message on her PADD while Rutherford and Boimler talked about tomorrow's mission parameters.
"I would think that someone who was playing footsie with a guy would want to spend time with that guy on a double date," Mariner sent to Tendi.
"I'm not dating him," Tendi replied. Mariner was taken aback momentarily. She gave Boimler a weird look before Rutherford could notice, and Boimler moved closer to Mariner to read it, leaning his body into hers.
"So, Ruthie… when were you going to tell us that you and Tendi were lying to us?" Mariner said non-chalantly after taking a drink. She was trying to play it cool while simultaneously being mad at Rutherford and wanting to be alone with Boimler.
"Uhhh," Rutherford stammered nervously. He was terrible at lying and even more terrible at keeping things from Mariner. "Tendi made me do it," he blurted out, cringing.
"But you went along with it," Boimler said, looking over at Mariner in silent conversation.
"You're playing pack mule tomorrow then," Mariner said, "You gotta carry all of our gear."
Rutherford balked, realizing that he and Tendi had been caught and that things were only going to get worse for him.
"You know what, I forgot that I need to recalibrate all the power modules before we leave in the morning! Ahh! Bye!" he said, running out of the bar.
"I already did that after lunch," Boimler deadpanned, and Mariner snorted.
"Such a coward," Mariner smiled, happy that Rutherford left so that they could be alone again.
"We should probably get some rest," Boimler suggested, standing up from the bar stool and putting his hand on Mariner's back.
"I think I have a better idea. Computer, load program Mariner 1," she smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist as the scene swirled and transitioned them back to the Oceana Prime aurora borealis program, Mariner's favorite.
He looked out across the ocean, noticing that the aurora had never looked more bright or beautiful. He looked back at her to see her looking at him, the purple aurora reflecting in her eyes, giving her an otherworldly glow.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered, his lips nearly touching hers already.
"Now you ask?" she teased, closing the distance between them for their second kiss.
An ocean breeze reminded them that it was freezing on the beach at this time of year on Oceana Prime's northern hemisphere. "Computer, arch," Boimler commanded, quickly editing in a few lines of code.
A fire pit and blankets appeared on the beach, along with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. "If you won't let me change the temperature, at least I can make it more comfortable."
"I thought we needed to get some sleep," she looked up at him with a smirk.
"I'd rather stay awake with my girlfriend," he laughed, taking her hand and pulling her toward the warmth of the fire.
"Before Rutherford walked in, I was about to ask you if you were sure you could handle me," Mariner laughed as they walked to the blankets.
"I'm just as crazy as you are," he said, spreading out a blanket for them to sit on, "Are you sure you can handle me?"
"I think we both have our work cut out for us," Mariner decided with a smile, sitting down next to him on the blanket.
The waves gently crashed a few yards away and it calmed Mariner's nerves enough for her to enjoy the moment and the feel of her hand in his. They laid side by side, staring up at the unfamiliar constellations and purple aurora.
"Since we're doing confessions… when you said you look to see if I'm awake every morning," he said softly, "I can't sleep unless I know you're there next to me. And I hate doing away missions when you're not on the team. You know more about me than anyone else, including my family. And one of my favorite things to do on the ship is sit and talk to you."
"I really like this romantic version of you," Mariner gently teased, looking over at him.
"I've barely scratched the surface," he laughed.