Chapter 2: More Than A Feeling
"Where the hell did that fucking idiot go!"
To say that Kanda was angry was a bit of an understatement. The Samurai was fuming with rage. He only left Allen alone for one hour—one fucking hour—and when he had returned to the inn, the brat was gone. Tim had fluttered in worry around the Samurai since then, both of them searching for the ex-Exorcist around town in the hope to see a mop of white hair.
What bothered Kanda the most, was the bad feeling he kept getting since they had entered the town. So yes, maybe, just maybe, he could admit that he was worried about the ex-Exorcist. The young man's wounds were far from healed to be running around, for whatever reason he was outside in the first place. The streets were strangely deserted, too, comparing to a few hours ago when the town was bursting with life.
"Goddamn it!" Kanda went from one street to the other, almost desperately hoping to see something, anything, resembling the beansprout. Timcanpy was trying to locate from above, but until now their efforts were fruitless. The more time passed by, the more agitated the Samurai became.
"Just when I thought I'd found you again…" the murmur was quiet, only meant for his own ears. After the events with the Earl and Alma, he was at loss where his path would lead him from then on. What his future held for him. Alma had died in his arms, and he had never felt so many emotions simultaneously for a person except for one: an annoying brat that kept getting blood from under his nails. He'd already lost too many beloved ones. He wasn't sure he could lose another one.
Tim's panicked motions suddenly attracted Kanda's attention towards a dark alley he had nearly missed. It was well hidden due to the lack of lampposts, and if it weren't for Tim, he'd probably walk right by it without noticing it.
When the Golem saw a glimpse of white hair in the distance, it didn't wait for the Samurai and flew almost as fast as the Golden Snitch from Harry Potter. Tim left Kanda behind, ignoring the man's subdued shouts; too thrilled to get reunited with his young master again.
"Che, damn little shit!" Kanda went to chase after the Golem, but he underestimated how fast the little thing could be. He'd almost lost sight of Timcanpy, when it slowed down and Kanda caught up. For some reason, Tim had suddenly stopped, pointing a tiny arm at something.
When Kanda followed the direction it was pointing at, a shock went through him. He gripped Mugen's hilt so tightly, it could snap under the pressure.
An old guy was hunched over a seemingly younger person. The guy, who wore a long black coat, moved a bit sideways. It wasn't the white hair which first alerted Kanda, rather the left arm with the out-of-control Innocence, and then the tanned skin. His blood only really started to boil when he noticed the wrinkled fingers around Allen's throat, firmly holding him in place. Even from a distance Kanda could clearly see that the ex-Exorcist's wide, angry gray eyes were mingled with blotches of gold.
Neither the stranger nor Allen had noticed them, and Kanda could hear low, mumbled words coming from the old man when he talked to the ex-Exorcist, grip not loosening and the Innocence reacting to the stranger's presence. As if it wanted to merge with the man, constantly moving in his direction.
The old man suddenly laughed, and his voice got louder and clearer now so that Kanda could follow the conversation unfolding between the two.
"It's unfortunate Levellier's most loyal guard dog won't be coming to your aid, Mr. Walker," the voice was rich, yet very threatening. Allen's breath hitched by the mention of Link, and he tried to focus on the man holding him down.
"Those two Noah's who tried to abduct you were a bit annoying to fight, I admit. But Link… even for a Crow, he was just too easy to kill. Nothing challenging about it. Was he truly a member of the Crows? I don't understand why Levellier assigned him to you as your guard. To prevent you from turning into a Noah? Look how that worked out for you, you're constantly struggling with the Fourteenth, even now…"
Kanda hadn't heard about this. He knew that Tyki and Road had helped with Allen's escape and got him out of the dungeons, but Link, dead? Was it even true? He shook his head. It wasn't the moment to think about the Crow member. This guy was right about one thing: Allen was still struggling to push back the Fourteenth, the indications were visibly clear.
The young man sucked in air when Link was mentioned. "W-what did y-you say?!" Allen couldn't believe this monster's words. Link couldn't die so easily! He couldn't!
"You heard me the first time, Allen. Your Crow friend is dead, I left him in a pool of his own blood, back at the dungeons of the Order. I do wonder if they found his body yet." The Cardinal grinned, teeth perfectly aligned and pearly white. "Or the remains of it."
"Poor Allen, you actually liked that guy with strange eyebrows." Nea tried to sound empathic, but Allen had stopped listening. Instead, he was transfixed on a shape, standing a few feet behind the Cardinal. As if fog arose, everything faded away around Allen, sounds blurring into a faraway buzz, the scenery changed into a graveyard with snowflakes swiveling down. He looked down at himself and blinked. He was a nine-year-old boy again.
Allen!
The voice startled him, and he couldn't believe his eyes. Mana was there, waving and smiling, dressed in his silly clown costume.
Allen…
"Mana..." the boy tried to stand up, but something heavy kept him down on the ground. He struggled a bit, but the weight was consistent, constricting even.
Aaallen.
"Mana!" he tried reaching out to the one he cherished and loved, but instead of his normal arm, he noticed the ugly deep red color, the big inflamed black cross on the back of his left hand and he heard loud screams—
"What in God's name are you saying, Walker!" the Cardinal had a difficult time keeping the ex-Exorcist into place. He didn't understand what was going on with the young man. He had gone in a comatose state, and shortly afterwards had become erratic, started screaming and shouting and flailing his limbs.
Even Kanda became more worried when he saw that Allen was losing control over himself—over his mind. "Che," he couldn't interrupt yet, because he didn't know what that stranger was capable of or why he was after the beansprout. But the knot in his stomach kept growing and the grip on his katana tightened even more. His instincts were yelling at him that the man was dangerous.
He hated feeling this conflicted. He wanted to quickly get Allen out of the man's grip, and was waiting for the best opportunity with fewer chance at casualties. But none of both options would go so easily. He was caught between a rock and a hard place, and it riled him up.
Allen, on the other hand, was obvious to these men. He was still drowning in his trip down memory lane.
"Mana!" Allen was aged ten now, and he just killed the person he had been considering as a father, the only person who had accepted him when he was an orphan. Crimson on his small hands, on the snow, of the unmoving and torn body in front of him. The Earl came peeping from behind a grave, luring him into false promises. Mana who'd been turned into an Akuma—because of Allen's egoistical wish to get Mana back.
A whirlwind of painful memories followed, stormed before his eyes. Some of them were about his time with Mana, others from when Nea had first made contact with Allen. Even Nea's proper memories when he still had his own body, together with Mana at his side. Both young, running in a large green field, holdings hands and laughing together.
"My beloved brother, I love you."
Allen screamed. The images in front of him began to blur, and slowly the scene around him returned to the present. His gray eyes wavered and the first thing he noticed was a figure of a long, lean man, hidden against a wall a few feet from Allen and the Cardinal.
"K-Kanda?"
The Samurai paid attention to the calling of his name, but so did the Cardinal. The old man swiveled his head back, angry eyes flickering from behind glasses, and they focalized on the intruder.
"What are you— "the Cardinal's got interrupted when an immense strong power pushed him away from Allen, and into a wall. Kanda finally found his opportunity and ran towards the young man, but something made him stop in his tracks. A dark aura was surrounding Allen, who was still sitting on the ground. The dark fingermarks around his throat faded, but the tan skin didn't. It got darker, the same tint as the true Noah. When the young man slowly rose his head, a cold chill ran down Kanda's spine.
Exactly like that time when he had battled against Alma.
"Fuck, this ain't good."
"Kill –im…"
Allen felt shivers all over his body, the sensation of pins and needles prickling everywhere, tingling his senses. Breathing hurt, as if his lungs were going to collapse on each other with every inhale of air he took.
"Kill himm..."
His head felt heavy, aching in waves with a disturbing fog inside his mind. He could feel someone else was controlling his body, and he was just floating aside, numbly observing how the puppeteer was done playing with its puppet. The strings were spun tightly around his limbs, constricting and on the edge of being sore.
"Allen, it's time to go to sleep. Let me handle this, let me kill him, Allen, kill him or he'll kill us, kill you—"
The voice resonated, sounded so familiar as if he had heard it his entire life. It was a part of him him, from his memories, from his soul. The words were agitated and rushed, with a certain urge behind them.
"Kill him!"
Explosion of pain everywhere, yet at the same time, nowhere. All he saw was blinding white. A numbness he'd never felt before. The voice kept echoing, urging him, but Allen didn't know why. He saw the soft smile of a person so dear to him – Mana – but then the person vanished, a scowl replaced the sweet smile. He couldn't place it, couldn't remember. He brought his arms close to his body, heard a sinister cackle rising in volume. Just before the darkness engulfed him, he heard someone call out it name. No, it wasn't his name, it was a nickname, one he should recognize but—
But it was too late.
"Beansprout!"
Kanda could almost taste the dark aura rolling in waves from Allen—no, Nea—and the Noah was getting stronger. His mid-long hair hid the little black crosses on his forehead. Golden eyes gleamed at the Samurai. The eerie cackle died down to a low chuckle.
"I'm sorry, but Allen can't hear you right now. He's locked somewhere deep in his conscious, and I don't think he'll be resurfacing for some time." Nea grinned, and Kanda froze. Nea had strong resemblances with Allen, except for the confident grin he wore. The Fourteenth had been waiting for far too long for a moment such as this. He was obviously going to take advantage of the situation.
Kanda couldn't ponder too long on it, readied himself to attack Nea and get Allen back, whatever it may cost. Allen had saved his life, too, after the events with Alma, so he owed it to the beansprout. He gritted his teeth, knew that it wasn't the only reason actually, and a stubborn feeling tugged at his heart. He'd started to care for the white-haired boy over the years, especially after he had closure with Alma and actually had acknowledged his feelings for Allen.
So yeah, he felt obliged to save beansprout, his beansprout, and he wouldn't let anyone take him away from him again. Not the Akuma, not the Earl, not the Crows nor Levellier and the Order, and especially not Nea. With this mindset, he took his stance across the Fourteenth, ordering Timcanpy to get somewhere high and safe.
Before he could launch a first attack, a loud hissing sound emerged from the old man's direction, the guy who'd been thrown into the wall. It was like a kettle overheating. Nea's attention also turned towards the sound when white smoke arose from the body. The Noah was squinting his eyes and then as quick as a cat jumped backwards when a long white arm shot out at him.
The arm, its end formed as a pointed and deadly spear, pierced the place where Nea stood not even seconds ago, when a deep and rich voice startled both men. The white smoke got thicker, like smog, but the air got heavier, Kanda's hair standing on end. Even Nea wasn't grinning anymore, a serious expression adorning the young face.
"In the end, it was inevitable. Mr. Walker wasn't strong enough to resist to your temptation, Fourteenth. What a shame, I'd rather have him merged with me than him being tainted fully by your kind."
The Cardinal came walking forward, retracting his long arm and adjusting his glasses. He spread his arms like a preacher and stood tall facing Kanda and Nea, beaming with perfect pearly white teeth.
"Not all is lost though, sinners. I can still retrieve the boy's Innocence. Guess I will have to kill you gentlemen first, before taking back what belongs to me."
The Cardinal grunted, his entire body transforming into a bulky and hairless man. His skin was a marble color, cracked in some places, and a black cross similar to Allen's cross in his hand was embed onto his sternum. The white of his eyes were blood-red, irises green with red pupils.
Nea snickered. "Apocryphos, I knew something was off about your appearance as a Cardinal. It felt too…phoney. I could feel it through Allen and his Innocence kind of gave you away. It reacted so strongly to your presence, especially since your special treatment in the dungeons."
Nea heaved a sigh and lifted his shoulders up. "Although I'd imagined your true form to be a bit more impressive. It's more of a joke, really. Inferior to the likes of us, the Noah."
Kanda frowned. So, this was the Protector of the Heart? He'd heard rumors and stories about an independent and sentient Innocence, but he'd never seen this Apocryphos. He had to agree with Nea, though. He didn't look impressive, but if this Protector could bypass the Order, take out Link and make it hard for Tyki and Road, he shouldn't underestimate the guy.
And this Apocryphos was after Allen, specifically after Allen's Innocence. That's why his arm sprouted feathers when the Cardinal was nearby. The consistency of it had probably weakened Allen so much that it had left a window of opportunity for the Fourteenth to take over the reins. But the Apocryphos must be a great threat to the Noah's, too, seeing how Nea's demeanor had changed when the Cardinal had shown his true form. He might have been mocking him, but the Noah looked tense.
"Now, gentlemen, enough of this useless chatter. It's time to repent for your sins and die by the hand of a God!" exclaimed the Apocryphos. He went straight for the Fourteenth first, feet as fast as lightning. Luckily, the Noah had quicker reflexes and avoided the Cardinal's attack easily. The Protector of the Heart didn't stop and turned his attention to Kanda now. Although the Samurai also had fast reflexes, he didn't manage to defend himself fully against the onslaught of powerful punches thrown at him. One fist broke through his defense and hit him right in the stomach. Kanda doubled over, but he was fast on his feet and rolled over just in time when another punch was incoming, this time hitting concrete instead of the Samurai.
"Goddamn fucker, that won't work twice on me! My turn now!" with Mugen unsheathed and firm in his grip he called upon the First Illusion. Apocryphos smirked and did a left turn, but Nea was right there with an orb of Dark Matter formed in his hand. He had a playful glint in his golden eyes when he singsonged "Surprise!" and smacked the ball right in the Cardinal's ugly face. The Apocryphos screeched, taken aback by the Noah.
"You gotta step up your game, Mr. Samurai. This isn't like any other Innocent we've encountered. If you don't watch out, he could easily kill you. He's practically on the same level as the Earl, if not scarier." Surprisingly Nea stood next to Kanda when the Apocryphos was still screaming while the Dark Matter burned into his flesh. Kanda glanced up at the Fourteenth, seeing small glimpses of Allen in his mannerisms.
"Che." Kanda gritted his teeth. "Don't worry about me, freak. I can handle myself. Don't need your advice." With that said, he did step up his game – but not because Nea said so – and skipped Double Illusion, going straight to Triple Illusion and using the skill Ningentou.
Nea had to laugh at Kanda's reaction and joined the Samurai, ignored the man's glare and readied his Dark Matter. Just for fun, he also summoned a Level 4 Akuma to make things more exciting. The Apocryphos had stopped in his self-pity and started to get frustrated with the two men. He worked out his rage on the Level 4 Akuma, piercing it with Innocence. The Akuma was quickly finished with and barely a match for the Apocryphos.
"Aw, you didn't even let him play with you," whined Nea.
"Your little puppets won't help you much, Fourteenth. I am absolute, I am pure Innocence. You cannot kill me." He didn't even finish his sentence or Nea was already his side again, extremely fast and agile, and had summoned a great broadsword this time that strongly resembled to Allen's Sword of Exorcism.
Kanda found it strange, but didn't have long to ponder about it, as Nea had thrown the Apocryphos in his direction. Kanda managed to slash him a few times with Mugen, but the guy didn't falter or seem to slow down. It looked like their attacks weren't doing much. A double spear of Innocence was aimed at both Kanda and Nea and missed them by a hair, only inflicted a small cut on their cheeks.
The Fourteenth retaliated with even more assaults created from Dark Matter, a few Akuma's of Level 3 and Level 4, while Kanda kept on using Illusions without overstepping the boundaries towards Fourth illusion—he knew that he would tire fast then, and risk both Allen and his life.
Both men kept fighting with great force and perseverance, attacking and counter attacking, Nea using his excellent combat skills, nimble as cat and with the lethality of a jaguar. Even if his posture didn't reveal much, he held a lot of power and kept switching between Dark Matter, Akuma's and his broadsword. Kanda himself tried to slash deep wounds in the Apocryphos weakest spots, occasionally throwing an Illusion and even using the Spirit Cut attack, but he began to realize that he wasn't on the same level as the Noah and Apocryphos, his assaults not doing much more damage than the Akuma's—and even they were just a nuisance to Apocryphos, as he disposed of them without any effort. That left Kanda with no other choice than to cross the line he'd draw for himself. He would have to into Fourth Illusion if they wanted to get out here alive.
It gave him a renewed surge of power and speed, but after a dozen of minutes still none of his or Nea's attacks got lethal enough to fatally injure the Protector of the Heart. It was like they were just giving the monster a hard time and were annoying him like flies buzzing around his head. And it wasn't going to take long before they got crushed, as fatigue was slowly gaining the upper hand.
"Shit," Kanda became wary of the ongoing use of his Mugen and Illusions. He glimpsed at the Fourteenth and saw that even the ex-Noah was starting to have a harsh time. None of the summoned Akuma's were a match for the Apocryphos, didn't even get in reach of the white-skinned monster, all getting destroyed by Innocence—one by one falling to the ground, shredded into pieces or shattering apart.
"Hey freak, got any other ideas to kill this guy?" asked Kanda. The Apocryphos has to have some real weakness, thought Kanda, glaring at the Protector of Innocence. His body was ornamented with slashes and gashes, black blood bleeding out of them, but the Cardinal did not pay attention to his wounds and didn't falter. He was fully concentrated on the Fourteenth now, had even lost interest in Kanda. He probably wanted to put an end to this soon and salvage Allen's Innocence.
Nea turned his head to the Samurai, about to shout something, when the Apocryphos saw this opening, took his chance and pierced the Noah right through his chest, missing the heart by an inch. Nea's eyes widened, but he didn't scream, he grinned and grappled the Apocryphos by his throat with his hands, squeezed it firmly. Nea had used himself as bait.
"What are you trying to do, Fourteenth? Choke me?" the Apocryphos produced an ugly laugh, pushing even deeper in Nea's wound. Kanda was breathing heavily, a sweat bead rolling down his temple. He had to hurry and tried to find more inner resources to use the Fifth Illusion—Allen was getting into danger. Even if Nea was in control now, it was still Allen's body.
Nea chuckled, hands gripping tighter and tighter around the thick throat. "Sorry, I'm not really into that kind of kink. That's more Tyki's thing." Dark Matter formed around the Apocryphos's throat, building up and getting bigger. The Apocryphos used his free hand to pierce Nea a second time, in his side, and feathers of Innocence burst out on the other side of the wound. The Fourteenth grunted, and blood trailed down his chin. His grin never faded, and his golden eyes were wild—almost lunatic.
"I'm more into decapitating heads."
A loud explosion followed, debris flying everywhere. Kanda had been thrown back from the impact, and used Mugen's support to get up, coughing away the dust that had gotten in his mouth. When the dust was settling down, he saw a mop of dark-haired curls, sprawled down between the debris. Then he saw the blood—the wounds bleeding heavily after the attacks with the Innocence. Nea's eyes were closed, but Kanda could see the up and rise of his chest, albeit weakly.
He started toward the Fourteenth's form, but the Apocryphos was crawling out from under a pile of bricks and broken walls, his throat seriously damaged but still alive enough to stagger towards Nea, this time fury clear in his crimson eyes. He was livid.
"I am getting tired of you and your little games, you filthy Noah! I will slaughter you right here and now and force the remnant Innocence out of your vessel!" the Apocryphos got ready, lifting his right arm to deliver one last fatal blow. Nea groaned, but when the Fourteenth fluttered his eyes, Kanda noticed a flicker of gray in them.
The Samurai's body moved on its own accord, not even thinking about it, and threw himself between Nea and the Protector of the Heart, just like Allen had done with the fight between Alma and the Samurai.
Kanda felt the wetness before he felt the burning pain just under his shoulder, but he kept glaring the Apocryphos right in the eyes.
"Oh, what's this? You want to save the Fourteenth? To save Mr. walker?" the white-skinned man sneered. Kanda's blood trailed down the Apocryphos arm. "There is no way to save either of them, Yuu Kanda. Nor will be you be able to save yourself, either."
Kanda spat on the monster in front of him, "Che, I'll do anything to get that idiot back, even if it means I have to sacrifice my own life!" he yelled. The Apocryphos sighed, tired of both men, so he tensed up to finish off the Samurai, when a white glow engulfed them. Kanda had to close his eyes to shield them from the light, but he recognized that warm glow within seconds.
The Apocryphos had to release Kanda, who grunted and fell down on one knee. The Samurai glanced at Nea's body, the white glow still emitting brightly from it. But the tanned skin didn't fade, neither did the row of black crosses.
"How is this even possible?" he heard the Apocryphos mutter in wonder. Suddenly, the light formed itself in the familiar Crown Clown, its eyes squinted as if the mask were laughing. It wrapped itself around the Fourteenth's body, creating a sturdy shield with its cloak. Kanda heard the Noah groan faintly, but not like that time the Innocence was harming the Noah. Maybe Crown Clown could sense Allen was still present, due to their symbiotic relationship, and it was trying to protect the ex-Exorcist.
"It shouldn't be able to do something like that! The Innocence and Noah are by nature arch enemies! They should want to destroy one another s in each other's presence!" the Protector of Heart was yelling, his already crimson eyes going completely bloodshot by rage, and the veins popped out against his skin, throbbing angrily.
A chuckle escaped from under the Crown Clown. The cloak arose, together with Nea. The Noah stood at Kanda's side, the Crown Clown's mask over his face and the Innocence holding him up in support. His lips were tainted crimson, his wounds were still bleeding, albeit more sluggishly now, but the life in those golden eyes hadn't diminished. Nea eyed the Samurai through the mask, saw that the injury in his shoulder was slowly closing—Kanda also had a symbiotic relationship with his Innocence, though not as powerful as Allen's—and gave the man a smug smile.
"So, this freak is really starting to get on my nerves. What do you say, momentary truce? Shall we team up for once and beat this nasty thing into a pulp?" a chill ran over Kanda's back when Nea spoke. For a moment he felt like Allen was standing there, talking through the Noah. He blinked, a little baffled by the Fourteenth's proposal. But he knew he didn't have many options left.
Kanda nodded, not sure if they would be able to actually kill the sentient Innocence, but if they could at least harm it enough that they could create a window to escape, he was willing to fight side by side with a Noah, the Fourteenth—Allen.
"You are fools to think you can erase me, I am everlasting, I am eternal—" the Apocryphos ranted while the cross on his sternum shone brightly, fueling the monster with even more energy. Kanda hadn't paid attention to it until now, and his eyes widened in realization when the dots connected.
"The cross, that's his weak spot," Kanda shared the information to the Fourteenth. The Noah followed Kanda's line of sight, seeing the glimmering artifact, and nodded, his pupils turning into slits. The Samurai could almost feel the excitement radiating off the Noah, and he had to be honest and acknowledge that Nea was also a foe to fear. Kanda himself was still in his Fourth Illusion, he had been prolonging it so that it could patch him up somewhat while their fight was on hold. It was a big risk, but the Samurai knew how to control it.
"You can't do anything! I will smash your little heads and make you vanish! I am the Protector of the Heart!"
The men didn't receive a warning. The Apocryphos charged at them with an intent even more sinister than the Millennium Earl. But they were faster, Nea using the Crown Clown's abilities at his guise, stabbing the Apocryphos in different places with Crown Belt.
Kanda used his lightning-fast speed to do the same, Mugen afflicting great damage to the Apocryphos's vital body parts. They fought harshly, blood spattered everywhere each time Nea or Kanda hit the Apocryphos, each in turn relentless in their attacks. The Protector seemed surprised by this at first, but it only fueled his anger and he reciprocated in fervor.
The fight felt like it had been going on for hours on end, while in reality it had been an hour or two, tops. Yet the men started to slow down, fatigue was starting to set in, and even the Apocryphos seemed to get more sluggish in his movements.
Nea was about to use Crown Edge but grunted when Allen's old wounds—from the young man's encounter with Akuma's—had reopened while fighting, and Nea's wound also started bleeding again. Apocryphos saw the light faltering in the Noah's posture and didn't wait, he took his chance and grabbed the Fourteenth by his throat.
Nea chocked, taken aback by the powerful grip. Apocryphos grinned, showing a row of perfect aligned teeth, tinged pink. He tightened his grip on the Noah, almost crushing his windpipe.
"Got you, you filthy Noah." The Apocryphos swung the Fourteenth with so much force into a wall, that a sickening crack followed the collision. The sound echoed in Kanda's ears while he watched with a stricken expression Nea's body slump down the wall, leaving a trail of blood behind. The Noah lay completely still on the ground.
Kanda kept staring, knuckles white from his hold on Mugen. The Apocryphos was laughing and wiped his hands, pleased that he had squatted one fly already.
"Beansprout!"
The Samurai saw red and felt himself lose control. Mugen began to emit dark, sinister lightning, crackling sharply, while Kanda's hair turned into a pale purple color. His wound closed up in the blink of an eye, not even leaving a scar behind. The lightning struck all around him, as if it were creating a shield to protect the Samurai. The power rolled off him in waves, so much that even the Apocryphos was stunned by it and had to take a step back.
Kanda had gone into Fifth Illusion, and he was going to shred the motherfucker apart.
Seven deadly energy beams went straight to Apocryphos, they created deep flesh wounds in the white skin. Kanda relentlessly threw multiple attacks of his flash claw, not giving the Apocryphos an opportunity to counterattack. The Samurai roared, the lightning grew darker and struck dangerously closer to the Protector of the Heart.
The Apocryphos couldn't keep up with Kanda's strikes, and the Samurai knew this. In a flash he stood in front of the monster, looking livid, and without hesitation embedded Mugen deep in his chest, right on the black cross. The cross seemed to resist at first, then a fissure appeared until it started to break. The Apocryphos's eyes widened in panic when he stared in full horror down at his chest, then straight into Kanda's flaming eyes. Apocryphos grunted and lifted his hands to grasp around the blade of Mugen, a faint attempt to try and stop the blade sliding deeper in his chest.
"Don't think this is over, Mr. Yuu Kanda. You might have won this fight, but I'll find you and the little bastard." The Apocryphos promised, and it were also his last words. With a final push, Mugen went straight through the flesh and muscles, and Kanda was watching with deep satisfaction when the light faded out the eyes of the enemy. The Samurai withdrew Mugen from the Apocryphos, and when he went down on the ground, the remnants of the cross shattered into small pieces. The appearance of the Apocryphos turned back to human, to his Cardinal persona. But in such a state that you could only recognize the robes.
Kanda was still breathing heavily; his shoulders were tense, and his teeth gritted against each other when he glared at the figure at his feet. It wasn't enough, it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough—
A golden ball flew right against his temple, which pulled him out of his mantra. It was Timcanpy, fluttering in panic around Kanda's head. The man blinked, once, twice. Then he remembered—Allen.
All fight and anger left his body, his hair went back to its normal color and the dark lightning faded away. His gaze went over to where the Fourteenth—Allen—was lying. He ran and jumped over the debris; his boots were thumping loudly on the concrete. He slowed down when he was nearing the motionless body, hesitating because what if he was too late? When he finally gathered the courage to get closer and crouch next to the young man, Kanda carefully placed his first and middle finger on the side of the ex-Exorcists' neck, trying to feel a pulse. A few tense moments passed by, but then Kanda sighed in relief. He could feel a pulse, slow and weak, but present.
Yet, when he looked at the tan skin and dark hair, he couldn't help but feel disappointment. He heaved a deep sigh and grabbed the young man's shoulder and placed him in such a way that he was leaning with his back against the wall. Timcanpy worriedly patted the Noah on his head, and little tears fell on Nea's cheek.
Kanda frowned at the golem, when he started shaking the Noah's shoulder lightly, then shook it a bit harder.
"Hey, dickhead." He could care less that they had teamed up for a moment, all that mattered now was that the Fourteenth would open his eyes, so that he knew he was all right—if the beansprout was alright.
Kanda quickly considered over the battered body in front of him, examining the tattered and bloodied clothes. The Innocence had receded, but there were many scars along the arm. All where the feathers had sprouted from. The other wounds were bad, kept bleeding sluggishly, and he wouldn't be surprised if there were a few broken ribs thanks to the harsh impact with the wall. But Nea didn't seem to be in direct danger, not from what he could see right now. He'd somehow managed to avoid his vital organs being hit, although narrowly, so the Noah had gotten very lucky.
"Oi, moron, wake up!" Kanda urged on, getting impatient because they were out in the open, and surely the ruckus they had made would attract curious citizens, who'd alert the authorities whom in their turn would alert Levellier and the Order if they saw a Noah and Exorcist together, with the damaged Cardinal's body at their feat. They'd be targeted as the murderers of a servant of God if that were to happen.
"Che, don't blame me for a sore cheek afterwards," the Samurai spoke to the unresponsive Noah, when a loud smack hollowed through the air.
The Noah finally came by, groaned, and pain was contouring his face. He slowly opened his eyes and stared blankly at Kanda while he unconsciously rubbed his red cheek. Nea scanned the area, still a bit dazed.
"Is he gone?" was the first thing he asked. Kanda shook his head.
"It isn't dead for all I know, but he won't bother us for now. It'll take some time for that fucker to heal, but it's best we get the fuck away before that happens, and before people start to get noisy." Kanda rose to his feet and put his hands under Nea's armpits so that he could hoist him up. The painful whimpers warned Kanda that they best hurry, and he began to feel the wetness of blood on his fingers already.
"Careful there pretty boy. Don't forget Allen and I share the same body." Nea panted; his eyes were starting to glaze over from the pain.
"Che, like I don't know that. I'm not doing this for you alone, I'd just really like the beansprout back."
Nea seemed to hesitate and darted his gaze away. "The fight has been rummaging things in our minds, especially when the Apocryphos struck you. That seemed to pull at Allen's consciousness. It also pulled me out of my concentration during the battle," he chuckled, then groaned when he felt his ribs ache.
"You must mean a lot to him, like really a lot. You are probably his anchor or something in the likes of that. You always manage to pull him back above the water when he's drowning…"
Kanda glared, but he also felt proud and a little spark of hope when he heard those words. The beansprout was strong-willed, he would come back, no doubt about that. Without thinking about it, Kanda bent over and hovered his lips above Nea's, only for a fraction and almost grazing. Nea froze, his golden eyes went wide but he didn't pull away, as if someone stopped him of doing so. Confusion grew in his eyes, and Kanda peered intensely into his, searching for something. Nea inhaled and held his breath but didn't dare to break eye contact. Then, the Samurai snorted and pulled away. The Noah released his breath. He hadn't realized how he'd been tensing up, until he could feel his whole body relax.
"No, you know what, I'll keep that for the idiot in there, so don't let your fantasy run wild." Kanda said in a smug warning, for this must be the first time he'd seen a Noah all dumbfounded. And lost, he seemed so at loss. But Kanda had done it with a purpose, and now he had confirmation: Allen was there on the surface all right. The Noah had wanted to pull away, but it was Allen that withheld Nea from doing so. Allen would just need a nudge in the right direction to find his way towards Kanda.
"Now, think you can summon a portal from the Ark? Would be our safest bet for now, find somewhere to lay low and heal our wounds."
The Fourteenth blinked the confusion away, was going to ignore what just happened and nodded. With little strength he had left, he opened a portal. Kanda tried to get a better grip on the Noah and adjusted his hold on the other man, putting an arm around his waist so that Nea could lean on him. They both gave a last glimpse to the Cardinal, the aftermath of their fight marked all over the body, and the fragments of broken Innocence had lost their shine.
They vanished through the portal and left the havoc behind.
They took refuge somewhere in the deep vast woods in the northern side of Germany, hiding in a small, abandoned cottage. The density of the trees and the snow that had been falling from the skies made it an ideal hideout. Kanda had mostly been loitering around, standing guard in and outside the cottage, while the Fourteenth was recovering from his and Allen's wounds. The damage had been worse than initially thought, and because Nea had weakened a lot due to his confrontation with the Innocence, it was going to take some time to heal.
As soon as they had teleported and set foot in Germany, the Noah had broken down into a fever, and was having an inner turmoil with Allen since then—if the Feathers of Innocence sprouting out Allen's arm was any indication. Kanda had panicked the first time it happened and immediately thought the Apocryphos had healed up already and was close to their whereabouts.
Until he had heard mutterings of his name coming from Nea, but with Allen's voice.
So, Nea and Allen were both in some kind of inner battle and were trying to dominate one another. The nights were the worst, when they would scream in crescendo, their voices mingling as one. It put Kanda on edge, but for Allen's sake he stayed at his side and held the young man down on the bed when he shifted with his limbs, so that he wouldn't hurt himself.
Timcanpy didn't dare to go near the person lying in bed, too scared and confused by their constant change. It couldn't tell the difference anymore whenever it was the Noah or the ex-Exorcist gasping and crying. Sometimes golden eyes would stare at Kanda, mixed with gray. Same for the hair, at times partially flat and white, then wavy and black again. It was a strange sight to behold, but Kanda was more worried for Allen's sanity and the fever that was not receding.
"Come on, beansprout. You're stronger than that, kick that Noah's ass and come back." He whispered, hoping that it got through Allen.
"Come back to me, please."
Kanda kept watch near the bed for another two days.
The Samurai was resting inside the cottage, against one of the wooden walls in a corner. It was their third night of hiding in the woods, and it had been tiring already. Between standing guard, refreshing the bandages of Allen and Nea, trying to keep their fever down, hunting for food and cleaning and cooking it, he didn't get a lot of sleep. Good thing Timcanpy helped him a bit by playing the guard dog, while Kanda took a nap or went outside and afar from the cottage.
At least he hadn't heard a word from the Order, the other Noah's or the Apocryphos, so that had been a weight off his shoulders, even if he knew they couldn't stay here for long.
He jostled awake when Nea coughed and called for Kanda.
"Hey, Japanese guy," the voice croaked as it hadn't been used for a few days, but a tan hand beckoned Kanda to come closer. The man rolled his eyes, sighed and stood up, wincing from sitting so long on the hard ground. He approached the bed but stopped at the bed's foot. Kanda knew it already, that it was still the Noah, yet he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He had hoped to see the sparkle in gray eyes, the usual earsplitting grin, the annoying laugh… but no, it was cunning golden eyes looking up at him. Kanda sighed once more.
It took him a long time to face them, but he always had feelings for Allen, ever since the Matel incident, their very first mission together as Exorcists of the Black Order. Then his feelings only got stronger on their next missions and adventures together, the shitstorms and failures they had to undergo, especially after the ex-Exorcist had done everything to get Alma and Kanda in a safe place, back at Matel. Kanda had tried to suppress these feelings for a very long time, kept denying it to himself and yet he couldn't help it during those times to steal glances at the boy, tried to keep an eye out and secretly practiced on the training grounds at night, had kept himself busy so that he wouldn't be worrying for Allen's safety when the young man had to go on a mission with another Exorcist or solo.
And really, after all the shit they've been through together, all the misery, death and sadness they've shared, but also good and happy moments, even if scarce, he didn't push those feelings away anymore. He'd never told it to anyone, although he had a suspicion that Lavi knew about it, but the damned rabbit was too sharp to keep secrets from anyways. Kanda had never told it to Allen either because it was never the right time—if ever.
"Hellooooo! Quit zoning out! And stop giving off those freak vibes." Nea leaned on his elbows and quirked his eyebrow at the Samurai, slyly grinning. "I won't ask why you have that lovesick smile on your face, but I'm gonna guess that it's because of Allen," Kanda started to sputter, but Nea held up a hand, silencing the Samurai and he straightened up, playfulness gone in the Noah's face. Kanda swallowed, waiting for the Noah to continue as he could see the Fourteenth was about to talk seriously.
"Listen, as I will only say this once, it's embarrassing enough as it is, and I can't believe I'm actually willing to do this. But just before I woke up, I have made a deal with Allen and I'm not one to break my promises. So." He stared straight in Kanda's eyes, no evilness or smugness in them but pure sincerity.
"Allen really cares about you, a lot. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. Trust me, even inside his mind I could feel everything he felt, could read all his emotions. I had to internally gag sometimes, but well." Nea cleared his throat; a blush tainted his cheeks, and he was fidgeting because he started to feel uneasy under the man's gaze.
"Ehm, I'll leave the rest to Allen. I have to recuperate from my epic battle against the lowly Apocryphos, anyways. I dare say I will actually miss your sour-faced expression." Kanda glared at the Fourteenth, who chuckled and then passed out, grin still on his face.
Kanda surged forward, grabbing a hand in panic. He pressed his ear against the Noah's chest, could hear a firm heartbeat. When he pulled his ear away and turned his face, gray eyes stared right back at him.
The man made a sharp inhale, and the young man in the bed gave him a tired, but happy smile.
"Long time no see, idiot." said Allen, content to see Kanda.
Kanda was staring, doubt in his eyes. Maybe it was a trick from the Noah, and as if Allen could read his mind, the ex-Exorcist shook his head.
"Nea isn't here. Well, he is, will always be, but he's back in the deepest depths of my heart. I'm boss over my mind and body again." The ex-Exorcist explained while he sat a bit straighter against the makeshift pillow that was his Exorcist coat. While Kanda was still standing there speechless, Allen inspected the rose-tinged bandages, carefully touching the places he'd been hit by the Apocryphos, in surplus of his wounds he'd gotten from the Akuma's. It still felt tender, but not as painful anymore. Kanda had really taken good care of them. Nea on the other hand could have been more careful.
"Thank you for looking after me. And sorry for being a burden. Guess I created quite some trouble for you, so I'm really— ", callused fingers pressed against his lips to shut him up. He gazed up and Kanda was frowning, an angry twitch in his eye. Allen didn't even notice the Samurai had moved from his position.
"Moron," Kanda started, "Stop. Don't even dare apologize. I know all the shit that happened, and all the misery it caused you. The Black Order, the Noah's, that fucker of an Apocryphos," he said angrily, agitated when he thought back to the events, and really how could any of it be Allen's mistake? It made him even angrier that the young man was taking the blame, again.
"You're such a martyr sometimes, most of the times," Allen snorted at the remark, but let the man continue, "but none of this was your fault, so stop blaming yourself. Not even Nea taking over was your fault—none of it. Get it, beansprout?" Kanda's fingers slipped from Allen's lips, and the ex-Exorcist grasped his hand, eyes cast downwards. A silence grew between them, Allen thinking about Kanda's words, and Kanda just looking at Allen. The anger was gone, but his gaze was still hard.
After a moment, Allen sighed. He didn't let go of Kanda's hand, instead gripped it tighter.
"Well, I guess we're both traitors to the Order now, huh?" he tried to say it with humor but knew they had worked themselves in a grim situation. Allen had escaped the dungeons, thanks to Tyki and Road, and then he had run away, got intercepted by Akuma's, got caught by the Apocryphos, let the Fourteenth take over—so he wasn't going to be on the good pages of the Black Order. Never mind Levellier, he probably wanted Allen's head on a silver platter. Same went for Kanda, who had turned his back to the Order when the Samurai had decided to go after Allen, not to captivate him, but to aid him.
Both were branded as traitors now, and how long did they have before they got hunted and found? The punishment that would await Allen and Kanda would be severe.
Allen was crying when he thought about it, he didn't want to, but the tears kept rolling down his cheeks. What a mess he had made. How would they ever get out of it?
Kanda huffed, releasing his hand from Allen's grip, and the young man's breath hitched, and he looked in panic at Kanda. The man went to sit on the bed, and cupped Allen's cheek instead, wiping the tears away with his thumb, feeling frustrated at the young man for all the guilt he must be feeling.
"You're truly the biggest moron I've ever met, aside from Levi and Tiedoll," he said, and this time Kanda didn't hesitate and closed the distance between them, kissing the ex-Exorcist softly on the lips. Allen gasped in surprise and Kanda pulled back, but the young man pulled him back in and kissed him in return, still crying but for a whole other reason now.
The kiss lasted for a few minutes, until they broke apart. Kanda felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, contentment settling in his mind, and this was right—felt right. He loved the beansprout, for all his stupid mannerisms and stupid things he might say sometimes. He loved all of Allen.
Allen had a blush adorning his cheeks, but at least the sadness in his eyes was gone, replaced by a want that he'd been hiding so long from the Samurai, and he was so relieved that the feeling was mutual. He almost didn't believe it, yet the kiss was real, Kanda in front of him was real, the fingers touching his face were real.
He felt reassured, all the doubts he ever had about the Samurai vanished in thin air. He smiled coyly, resting his hand on Kanda's thigh. The man stole another quick kiss from Allen, liking the feeling of those plump lips on his.
"I'd never take you for a TLC person, honestly." Allen quipped.
"Che, do you want me to stop?" asked Kanda, quirking an eyebrow.
"No, absolutely not! I've waited way too long for this."
"So do I, but you're still recovering from your wounds, maybe we should wait until—"
"Shut up idiot and kiss me." Allen ordered, grabbing the front of Kanda's coat and pulled him in for another kiss, eyes fluttering shut. He hummed at the sensation crawling all over his body, from his toes up to his knees, belly, chest and arms. His heart was beating a mile per minute, and when Kanda deepened the kiss, tongues entwining, he felt the sparks going straight to his groin.
Kanda chuckled and stood up from the bed to remove his coat and shirt, the boots were already dismissed earlier, but he still kept his pants on. He climbed back on the bed and positioned himself over Allen so that he could lean over him, caging the young man, careful of his wounds. Their faces were so close to each other that they touched noses, breath mingling, and loose strands of Kanda's hair were tickling Allen's face.
They stared deeply at each other, Kanda was memorizing every detail he had missed from Allen's face, especially that stupid grin, the little wrinkles at the corner of his bright eyes. The marking on his left eye. Allen also took his time studying the Samurai who was hovering above him. He'd always sneaked a glance while Kanda trained on the practice grounds back at the Order, and during the calm moments on their missions together. The Samurai wasn't one to show his emotions easily, aside from being angry, annoyed or sour-faced, frown always in place. Kanda always had a thick wall built around him, that no one could break down.
Except now, Kanda was openly expressing emotions which he'd never seen on the man.
"You know," Allen whispered, even if they were alone in the cottage, and he rubbed a thumb between Kanda's eyebrows. "This is the first time I don't see you frown. It suits you; you know."
At this, Kanda frowned of course, but only to infuriate the young man. He took Allen's fingers and gently kissed the inside of his hand, then his wrist and stared deeply into Allen's eyes with adoration, proving the ex-Exorcist's point. It was almost hard to imagine that not even so long ago, the Samurai thought he had almost lost Allen for good. Twice, actually, once with the Apocryphos, and then with Nea.
"Che, you should also smile more again instead of worrying or hiding behind a mask. I'm surprised you haven't gotten any wrinkles yet, old man."
Allen laughed, which sounded as pure music to Kanda's ears. He couldn't remember the last time he had heard it. Too long, much too long.
"Ow, don't make me laugh so much, my ribs are still tender." His laughed died down into a soft chuckle, "Just kiss me, idiot."
Kanda didn't need to be told twice. He trailed his slender fingers along Allen's pale throat, felt the young man's heart beating fast when he stilled his fingers at the jugular vein. He leaned down and captivated the waiting lips; Allen hummed and circled his arms around Kanda's neck.
Allen parted his lips, and Kanda bit lightly on the underside of Allen's lip which rewarded him with a small moan from the ex-Exorcist. It fueled Kanda's arousal, and his tongue sought out Allen's, while he let his fingers flutter along the young man's chest, to his sides, slowly going by the navel to the hipbones until he let his hand rest at the edge of Allen's boxers. Allen had a beautiful flush on his cheeks, eyes glazed over, and Kanda was drowning in those gray eyes.
He hesitated, because was this really what Allen wanted? He knew he himself wanted it, wanted Allen, wanted all of Allen. He craved to create new memories with the young man, not only intimate or sexual ones, but memories of both of them, good memories. To walk next to him, wherever he went, but always by his side. Did Allen desire the same?
"What's wrong?' asked Allen, when he noticed that Kanda had stopped in his movements and was frowning again, deep in thought. Kanda huffed and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Allen's.
Allen was worrying his underlip between his teeth, not used seeing Kanda like this. He seemed to struggle with something and was hesitating, as if he was specifically waiting for Allen's permission to continue.
Which, considering all the shit that had happened to the ex-Exorcist, more than once without the young man's consent, he probably was waiting for Allen to give him the green light. Allen chuckled, comprehension dawning on him.
"I'd never thought you'd be such a gentleman. A tall, brooding man who doesn't give a fuck about others opinion, yes." he teased, earning a glare from the said brooding man.
"You know I won't continue if you're not comfortable with it, or don't want it, beansprout. And I'm not one to talk about feelings or emotions, but I only cared this much for three people, and one is already long dead from a past life, while the second one died in my arms." Kanda uttered; the words tinged with sorrow and remorse.
"There is only one person left that I can't afford to lose, no matter the cost, and I don't want to hide or deny my feelings any further. I don't want to feel that regret anymore that I was never able to tell those people that I cared for them." Kanda stroke his thumb under Allen's eye.
"You're the only one I have left whom I care about. The only one left I don't ever want to lose. I adore you, you idiot beansprout."
Allen was listening intensely until now, when his eyes went wide, his mouth agape at Kanda's confession. He'd never expect to hear Kanda say that.
"You… you love me?" he asked in wonder.
Kanda got all flustered, "I did not say lo—" but he didn't get the chance, because Allen had tugged him down again and was deeply kissing him.
"Me too, stupid idiot," he murmured between pecks.
"Always have. But can you please continue before I pass out from blue balls?"
Kanda snorted at the romantic remark but obliged, now that they were on the same page, and slipped his fingers under the fabric of Allen's boxers, while he nipped the side of Allen's neck with his teeth. They both took their time to discover each other, while groans and moans filled the room. When they were done and spent, Allen nudged Kanda in his side.
"I think I can easily get used to it. You looked so sensual, Kanda." He teased, a playful glint in his gray eyes.
Kanda went red in his face, huffing and muttering some words, none with any malice behind them, and pushed Allen to make some room in the bed so that he could lie down next to him. Allen had sucked all the energy out of him.
"Che, good thing you didn't see your face then when you came, beansprout."
Allen chuckled, contentment settling in his features. Kanda tugged Allen closer to him, against his chest so that he could rest his chin on the white hair. The young man winced, the movement reminding him of his wounds, which he'd forgotten about while they were…busy.
"Does it still hurt as badly?" asked Kanda, carefully wrapping an arm just above Allen's hips, avoiding the bandaged torso as best as he could. Allen shook his head.
"Nah, it throbs, but it doesn't feel like I'm being stabbed over and over again." Allen answered honestly. "I'll live, and as soon as I'm healed, I expect us to have awesome sex, but in a larger bed. With real, soft pillows and clean sheets."
"Aren't you a demanding dipshit, good thing I'm used to your special antics."
"You're one to speak, I have never in my life met such an organized person like you, with so many rituals and such neat appearance. Well, aside from Lenalee perhaps. Or maybe I got too used living with Cross and hanging around Lavi, who knows…" Allen pondered, thinking back to his friends now that he mentioned them. How were they doing? Was the Order not being too harsh on them, interrogating them for intel on Allen or the Fourteenth? So much had happened the last few days—weeks even—that he didn't even think about them. He started to feel guilty again.
He heard Kanda sigh, when the man took his chin and lifted Allen's face up, nose only inches apart from Kanda's. The man stared for a moment, searching in Allen's eyes before he spoke softly.
"I don't know what's racking up your brains this time but stop feeling guilty about it." When Allen averted his gaze, Kanda knew he hit bull's eye.
"Trust me on this, idiot. They're okay, and they can stand their ground y'know. They've stood before far worse hardships than the Black Order and Levellier. Even the Akuma and Noah couldn't get them down. They are badass motherfuckers."
Allen nodded, realizing that Kanda was right. His friends were strong and survived many, terrible fights. He relaxed a bit at Kanda's reassurance, but he wondered about something else.
"Have you…" he hesitated, and Kanda quirked an eyebrow, waiting for Allen to continue.
"Have you heard anything from Tyki, or Road?" it might sound strange that he asked about them, but he remembered that Tyki had vanished through Road's portal, leaving Allen behind in a dirty alley, yet he was worrying about them, somehow. He didn't know why, maybe because he'd formed some kind of weird friendship with the Noah of Pleasure and the Noah of Dreams. It could also have been an influence of Nea, but he couldn't tell that for sure.
"No," Kanda responded, "don't think we'll be seeing them for a while. Once the Apocryphos has recovered, it'll hunt them down—"
"—and us," said Allen, when a sudden sense of dread overtook him. He was remembering snippets of his fight against the Cardinal; how afraid he had felt back then during the confrontation. He pulled the sheet closer to his chest.
"The Black Order will also be after us, especially since I deliberately ignored direct orders. They'll try to connect Link's death to you, though I don't think there's enough evidence for that," Kanda sighed again.
"Like you said earlier, we're branded as traitors. You and me both."
"And me, but I'm used to being a traitor for hundreds and hundreds of years," the familiar voice resounded in Allen's mind, and Nea's input made him chuckle.
Kanda looked at him and quirked an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"
Allen smiled, not mentioning Nea. "Nothing, just… I guess it's kinda becoming my thing to run away from things, except that I'm not doing it alone this time."
Kanda rolled his eyes, huffed and gave the young man a kiss on his forehead.
"You are so weird sometimes, beansprout. The shit you say and do… but I guess that's what I find attractive about you." Kanda sniffed at Allen's hair, for some reason smelling like fruits, but it didn't bother him, and he nuzzled it some more.
Allen's got to hold back a purr, but he snuggled closer towards Kanda's body heat. He started to feel sleepy, his eyelids becoming heavy. Kanda's warmth and strong arms wrapped around him made him feel safe, and all he wanted to do now was doze off.
"Still a moron, though," he heard the man mutter affectionately. Allen gave a jab in Kanda's ribs in response.
"Let's sleep, we've got a long journey ahead starting from tomorrow, so we can use all the rest we need."
Allen couldn't agree more, giving Kanda a goodnight kiss. Timcanpy—which had wisely extracted itself from the passionate scene and had waited outside the cottage—fluttered above the two men, before it settled at their feet on the bed.
"Goodnight Kanda, goodnight Tim."
They all fell asleep, the wood stumps in the hearth crackled from the fire, spreading warmth in the small cottage till it turned to ashes in the early morning.
When the first rays of sunshine entered the small windows of the cottage, Kanda was the first to stir awake. He blinked lazily, taking in his surroundings when his eyes fell back on the person next to him. Allen was still sleeping deeply and breathing softly. He looked so peaceful when he slept. Kanda studied his face, the scar a deep contrast against his fair skin. He brushed a finger against it, noticed the long eyelashes while doing so, and smiled to himself. Allen has grown into a fine young man. Kanda still remembered the first time they met, how scrawny and boyish he had looked, not exactly Exorcist material. Rather an annoying little brat sent by Marian Cross, whom was an even bigger brat,
Kanda snorted, which awoke Timcanpy. The golem had settled itself closer to Allen, now that he was himself again and not Nea anymore. It yawned, showing an impressive line of sharp teeth. Kanda beckoned Timcanpy, and it landed in Kanda's palm.
"Thanks for always being there for him, with him. You saved him, too." He said in a low voice to the golem. It appreciated the compliment, as he was flapping with its wings and gave Kanda a huge grin.
The movement roused Allen from his deep slumber. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and when he noticed Kanda was looking at him, he grinned and gave him a good morning peck on the lips.
"Hello sunshine, sleep well?" he asked Kanda, and petted Timcanpy. His white hair was disheveled, sticking up in all directions.
"Hmm, it was a short night, but I'm feeling rested enough," he answered while rubbing his fingers through Allen's hair, making an even greater mess of the white locks. "How are you feeling? Did Nea leave you alone or did he pester you in your dreams?"
Allen stretched his arms above his head, winced at the action, but he looked less in pain than the last few days. He slowly sat up in bed and inspected the bandages. They were still in place, and it didn't seem like the wounds had reopened.
"I feel pretty good, actually. And no, Nea didn't invade my dreams, not that I was expecting him to, not since our agreement. I mean, we'll still communicate with each other, as we share the same bond and memories, but there's no urge to dominate one another for my body…"
"…At least not for now…" Nea echoed in his mind, Allen leaving the words unspoken.
"Che, nor will he succeed if he ever tries that trick again. But what's this agreement you've mentioned a few times, anyways? Nothing bad I hope?" Kanda questioned, curious for this mysterious deal between Allen and the Fourteenth. Slightly concerned, too, for nothing good could come out of such bargain with the devil.
Allen was toying with the fabric of his pants, nervous now that the Samurai had asked the question. He shrugged his shoulders, tried to be nonchalant and answered by lying through his teeth. After all these years, the ex-Exorcist had become a master in lying and deceiving, Allen just didn't like to use that ugly side of him, especially not against Kanda.
"Nothing of importance, really. Until we haven't found a solid solution for the both of us, with the Apocryphos still on the loose and the Millennium Earl plus the Order also searching us, we commonly decided that Nea will lay low, and he promised me not to take control over my body. In turn, I let him loan my body as the vessel for his consciousness." Allen explained, with such persuasion in his voice and in his facial expression that he thought Kanda bought it, kinda, although he did frown on the vessel part.
"I honestly don't trust the Noah's, not in a thousand years, and I'm not convinced that Nea won't try anything. On the other hand, it's a smart move of him to lay low, because he's also being hunted. Nea has worse enemies to face than us, actually." Kanda said as a matter of fact.
Allen nodded, already felt the guilt eating away at him for keeping things secret from Kanda. But he couldn't, it was part of the agreement between him and Nea. The Fourteenth was going to take over some time in the future, because it's Allen's destiny. Nea had shown it to him in his dreams. It couldn't be stopped. But he wanted to enjoy the moments he still had left with the Samurai, and he should never know about this or suffer the consequences of it.
"Yeah… he does have more terrifying enemies, huh?" Allen whispered, more to himself than to Kanda.
"And he will get another enemy to fear if he tries to take over again. I won't stand idly watching you succumb to him; I won't fucking let him try." Kanda said angrily but meant what he said. Allen could see it in his cobalt eyes, that the Samurai would do anything to save Allen.
"Thank you…" Allen said sincerely, even if it hurt because he knew Kanda wouldn't be able to do anything when that time would come.
"I mean it, I don't want to lose you again, stupid beansprout. I may have teamed up with him to fight against that white creep, and helped his ass to get us here, but only because I wanted you back."
With that, Kanda ended the conversation about the Noah and got out of bed to get dressed, quickly rinsed his face with river water, which he'd found not so far away from the cottage. It's cold on his skin, so he quickly dried off his face. Afterwards he brushed his long hair with his fingers, before knotting it in a high ponytail again. He's searching his dress shirt when Kanda noticed Allen didn't move from the bed and was staring out the window. Timcanpy was munching on some stale bread it had found somewhere.
"Beansprout," the Samurai approached the bed, softly resting a hand on the slender shoulder of the young man. The touch surprised him and got him out of his reverie. Gray eyes looked up at the man, questioning.
"We have to get ready; we shouldn't stray too long in the same place. Best we leave before midday," Kanda said, and he bent over to give Allen a kiss. Now that they had shared their feelings for each other, he wasn't going to hold back on giving his affection to Allen. And seeing by Allen's giddy face, the ex-Exorcist didn't mind it in the least.
"Get up and get ready. There's some fresh water in the big bowl, over there. Get your face washed, it'll remove the remnants of sleep. I also need to refresh your bandages before we depart, don't know when the next opportunity will come to do so." Kanda pulled Allen off the bed, softly, and ushered him towards the bowl situated on the little rickety, brown table in the corner of the room.
At first, Allen got woozy from standing up after laying down for four –or were it five—days in a row. Kanda stayed by his side holding him at his waist, fingers warm against his hip, and Allen didn't know why, but the action made his blush.
They've done much more than that last night, but Kanda holding him up so that he wouldn't faceplant on the ground made him all flustered.
Kanda guided Allen to a chair and let Allen sit on it, gave him a piece of clean cloth (but no soap unfortunately) and let the young man by himself so that Allen could refresh himself while the Samurai continued dressing and assembling their stuff.
Allen stared at his reflection in the water. He looked rather weary and pale, and while he didn't feel like he was, he looked tired. Well Walker, you certainly outdid yourself this time, he thought to himself. Timcanpy came sitting on the table, tapping with his small golem hand on the cloth.
Allen snorted, doing as the golem commanded and took the cloth, put it in the water, wrought it out and cleaned his face as good as possible. It felt good, not because he was feeling dirty—Kanda had cleaned him during his fever, taking good care of him—but because it's like he's cleansing himself in some kind of way. He made the cloth wet again and went over his face once more, then washed his hands, arms and armpits. Kanda was still busy getting their stuff together in a single duffle bag, so Allen took the opportunity to quickly go into his boxers with the cloth for a quick wash there.
After Allen was finished, Timcanpy took his turn and took a quick bath in the remnant of the water, bathed in it like a bird would do in a bird fountain. Kanda threw the duffle bag on the bed and went to lay rolls of fresh bandages on the table, then motioned Allen to stand up.
Allen did as he was asked and also held up his arms, so that it was easier for the Samurai to untangle the worn bandages. Kanda did it gently, but the blood had dried and kept stuck on the fabric, which made Allen wince when Kanda didn't have any other choice than tug it loose.
"Sorry." The man murmured, concentrating on the task. After ten unpleasant and painful minutes, especially when Kanda had come to the part of the puncture wounds that the Level 4 Akuma and Apocryphos had inflicted, the worn bandages were thrown into a heap on the floor.
"That hurt more than I thought it would," remarked Allen, glad it's over. Kanda gave him another apologetic look and inspected the damage on Allen's chest. A few scabs were lightly bleeding again, but the other injuries were mostly healed. Except for one puncture wound, and some ribs still bruised (thankfully not broken like Kanda first thought after their battle against Apocryphos).
"Seems okay, just need to cleanse that one injury, but it looks like your Innocence did most of the job of patching you up while you were resting. At least none got infected. You still need to be careful to not make any sudden movement for your ribs, though." Kanda stood up from his kneeling position of the floor to get a proper cloth and water.
Timcanpy landed softly on Allen's head, and the young man patted the golem. Kanda was standing back in front of him with a damp cloth and a fresh bandage in his hands. He dipped the cloth around the puncture, tried to not add too much pressure. The cloth turned pink, and when Kanda's done cleaning, Allen looked down at the result. He hummed in approval.
"Guess my symbiotic relationship with my Innocence can be useful at times, or who knows if I'd still be sitting here…"
"Don't say that. It may be symbiotic, but it's not infinite… you know how dangerous close to death you can get, Innocence or not, it can't always save you." Kanda replied, knowing firsthand that you couldn't rely on the Innocence too much.
Allen realized this, too. He remembered how he almost died by the hands of Tyki, and although his Innocence had saved him back then, he also remembered how close Kanda was flirting with death during his encounter with Alma. He'd lost his Innocence, and he survived, but for the same result it could have ended badly.
"It's still such a mystery, Innocence. We use it to fight, some use it for good deeds while in most cases it's used for own benefits with disastrous consequences." Allen said.
"Until the war rages on and the search for the Heart continues, there's nothing we can do about it, beansprout. We're stuck with it, and we'll still need to rely on the Innocence for what may come." Kanda said, grabbing the fresh roll of bandage and looked straight into Allen's eyes.
"But we're also in this together now, so stop moping and lift your chin back up. You're strong, Allen. We'll get through this."
Allen smiled and nodded in agreement. Kanda huffed and did a quick but neat work of applying the new bandage around Allen's chest, then clasped him gently on the shoulder.
"Get dressed now, we've been loitering around long enough. Do you think you'll be able to summon a portal?" asked Kanda. Allen blinked at him.
"How did we get here in the first place? Where are we even?" Allen hadn't even thought about the fact that they had been in a cottage the past few days, or that he could only see rows of trees when he stared out the window. And snow. It was snowing. Again.
I'm having a sense of déjà vu. A chill ran up Allen's spine at the strange sensation.
"Nea brought us here, also by a portal. We're in Germany, deep in the woods. Don't know why he choose this place, but it was a good call. I haven't seen anyone coming through here and the cottage had been abandoned for quite some time." The Samurai explained while Allen put on his pants, boots, and a fresh shirt that Kanda had brought in his duffel bag. His Exorcist coat was dirty and tattered in some places, but it would have to do.
"Huh, well if Nea could call upon a portal in his state, it shouldn't be any problem for me to summon a portal, I think. I'm feeling okay."
"Good. Let's go then."
Kanda grabbed his Mugen and the duffel bag and opened the door to go outside. Timcanpy was hitchhiking on Allen's shoulder and the young man followed behind Kanda. When Allen took his first step outside, he felt the snowflakes on his skin. He stared at the sky and found it quite ironic how the freezing cold kept following him wherever he went. Always when something bad had happened, it was snowing. Except now, when he glanced at Kanda's back, it didn't feel as a bad omen anymore.
Kanda came to a stop when the trees got a bit more scattered. He looked over his shoulder towards Allen and called him over.
"Come on, we won't get warm just standing here."
Allen snorted and trudged through the snow towards Kanda. He already felt chilled to the bone and was beginning to miss the warmth and comfort of the cottage.
"I really dislike snow," he muttered. When he stood next to Kanda, the man nodded at him, and Allen thought of a place in his mind. He outstretched his arm and called forth a portal. It appeared in front of them, the warm white glow welcoming.
"Where does it lead us to?" asked Kanda.
Allen grinned, because it was a bit childish maybe as Cross had ditched him in that country after they had been travelling to all kinds of places in the world, but it also held the best memories during his time as a kid.
"India. We're going to India." he said with a bright smile. At least there he wouldn't be complaining about the cold.
Kanda tilted his head in interest, because he'd heard great things about Indian martial arts, and if he got the chance, he'd like to learn more about Kalaripayattu.
"I simply hope we won't bump into Noah. Road has seen my memories from my childhood, so she might likely know about our destination. Quite certain Tyki will accompany her if that's the case, the guy has taken a strange liking to me." Allen spoke with a shudder, as Tyki had a strange fascination with Allen.
"Tsk, I'd like to see him try. That guy needs to keep his hands off you, you're mine." He declared with a serious, if lightly irritated, expression. Allen had to smile at this, how protective Kanda could get about him. And a bit possessive, maybe, but so was he about Kanda.
"Don't worry, I'm yours," assured Allen, and it lifted Kanda's mood. Timcanpy switched its positions from Allen's shoulder onto his head, and the Samurai took Allen's cold hand in his, much warmer and bigger hand. They knew war was far from over, that there would be many obstacles ahead. Fights which they wouldn't be able to steer clear from. They've both lost so much, they simply couldn't stand still and do nothing.
"I'll be going first, see if it's safe on the other side." Kanda got ready, gave a kiss to Allen, even if their separation would only last a few minutes top, and stepped through the portal.
Allen waited for bit, gave Kanda some time to scan the area and Timcanpy was gnawing impatiently on the young man's hair. When he deemed it okay, he readied himself to walk through the portal.
He'd set one foot in, when Allen heard a whisper. He looked back over his shoulder, scrutinizing the landscape but didn't see anyone. He frowned but blamed it on the wind and aimed his attention back to the portal. Kanda was probably cursing right now wondering what took so long.
"Allen…" this time Allen heard it loud and clearly.
He whipped his head back, really thinking he was starting to lose it, or maybe they got found already and were under attack, the Crows or the Apocryphos—
But there, right in the middle of the open space, between him and the cottage he saw two vague but familiar shapes. Their image was contorted, and resembled more to a fata morgana, surely, because those persons couldn't be here—they were both dead.
And yet, when he saw how the tall man with crimson hair smirked at him, hat half tipped and glasses low on his nose, while the other smaller man was warmly smiling to Allen with his goofy make-up and silly clown costume—Allen knew, that they were memories from his heart, that both men would always live on. He felt warm and fuzzy and had to restrain his tears from falling.
"I believe in you, stupid apprentice. You grew strong, so don't ever give up," spoke the appearance of Marian Cross, then faded away with the snow, leaving only Mana behind.
"Never stop walking, Allen."
The words were simple but held so much meaning in them. Allen had a lump in his throat and nodded. He truly was on the verge of crying and when he turned around facing the portal again, the wind took the whispers with it, into the far horizon. He rubbed in his eyes, felt himself fill with renewed conviction, thinking about how he had Timcanpy and Kanda by his side and the new adventures they would face.
And Cross, Mana and all the other people he cherished were here with him, in his heart. He wasn't alone. He never was.
With the biggest grin on his face, he stared up at the sky, yelled loudly in the air and jumped through the portal to rejoin Kanda on the other side.
"I promise…just watch me!"
The end.
A/N: there you go, hope you enjoyed this story. Constructive criticism is always welcome, and I hope my use of the past tense was alright.
Thank you for reading! If you want to read the uncensored version,you can visit my AO3 account (link in bio)