Epilogue: Whatever Hope Is Yours, Is My Life Also

Anya sat with her heels on the edge of her chair and a glorified electronic piece of paper balanced on her knees. 'So, is there anything else you need? I have an entire wedding I can steal.'

'Thank you, we're good, I think,' Yuuri said brightly. 'How did you get all that at such short notice?'

'Theft, as I said. We'd helped plan a wedding for a couple from Hokkaido, but they broke up just in time to leave a wonderful time slot and the best possible service for me to jump on. I asked everyone to give me a couple of days to make sure they weren't needed, and now I'll call them and say that the date remains the same with somewhat different parameters.'

'Is any of this going to be a problem for them?'

'No, since you're scaling down from the original plans. It'll be fine and if anything comes up, I'll tell you at once. Oh, and I'll make sure the third floor is clear for your guests for the entire weekend, if you like.'

Yuuri stared at her to make sure she was joking, but judging by her expression, she meant that. 'What? Isn't one night enough?'

'You've never been to a Russian wedding,' Viktor said. 'A weekend is modest.'

'Am I going to be alive afterwards?'

'Oh, you are going to be so alive,' Anya said, laughing. 'If you want to go straight to your honeymoon afterwards, I can arrange transport to Fukuoka airport.'

'That … is actually a great idea,' Yuuri said. 'Can we get transport back, too, by any chance, and leave the car with you?'

'Of course. That won't be a problem. I'll take perfect care of it.'

'You realise that this is Anya's way of saying she'll take her for a joyride with Ren,' Viktor said.

Yuuri chuckled. 'It's not my car.'

Anya grinned and took a few notes. 'You two are not on the third floor, of course, you get the Czar Suite. Oh, and you don't pay for any of the rooms, of course.'

Viktor blinked. 'We'll consider it your wedding gift, Anya. Thank you, you're very kind.'

'Rubbish, this isn't a wedding gift. It's making up for years of crap.' She made a decisive mark on her paper. Thing. 'Very well, I think I have everything I need to know. This is really a small affair. Are you sure you don't want a bigger wedding?'

'We're sure,' Viktor said. 'And please, please make certain the media don't get wind of … well, anything at all. Not when, where, how many, anything.'

'Don't worry about that. Ren and I have already told the staff that any bookings for the month have to be done by us, but not why. They know it's a wedding, but they think it's the bunch from Hokkaido, and we won't correct anyone. They'll see soon enough, but no-one hears a peep from us. You'll have exactly the people you want at your wedding and only them. Should anyone try to gate crash, Ren will throw them out. He's really good at that. Enjoys it, too.'

Yuuri believed it after having seen him throw Valery as if he were a pillow. 'Make sure you have people who can do the work for you that night, we want you to celebrate with us,' he said. 'Both of you.'

Anya beamed at him, looking even more like her brother. 'I will do that.'

'Thanks, Anya, you've been a great help.' Yuuri stood, ready to go outside and drive back home to the house they were in the process of moving into. He'd be paying his half off for a couple of years, then it would truly be theirs. How Viktor had negotiated the price from completely insane to something sensible he had no idea.

The young Russian brushed Yuuri's thanks aside as she shook his hand. 'No, no, I'm enjoying this. I … honestly, when I called you about my idea, I didn't think you'd agree. Not after the debacle at the opening reception.'

Viktor embraced her. 'Again, Nyurochka. Not your fault. Ah … before I forget. You think Lera and Lyonya will be willing to set foot in here?'

'They do that all the time, seeing how both of them work here now. Lera didn't want to go back to Russia because she doesn't trust herself to be on the same continent as her father, and Lyonya … Well, he was going to work here anyway. That was always the plan. He doesn't have a lot of friends back home anyway and … it's been hard for him to hold down a job. They're both doing great, even though it took Lera a while to shake off what had happened. Strangely, it seemed easier for him.'

'He seemed pretty collected by the time we left,' Viktor said. 'I admired that. I'd have freaked out completely for I don't know how long.'

Yuuri grimaced. 'He acted normal to make it go away, Viktor. He needs help. Lera will, too.'

Anya nodded slowly. 'We told her that, too. She and Valery were so close, turning on him was … hard on her. In the end, it was Lyonya who got her to see a therapist. His, actually. He offered to go with her and I think that really helped.'

'Are they a thing?' Viktor asked. 'It seemed like that before everything got weird.'

'I think they might be. Later. Right now, they're both just really hurt and finding a lot of comfort with each other. Lera understands that she can't mess with him, though. I asked.'

Yuuri nodded. 'Good.'

Anya gave Viktor a once-over. 'And you? You were pretty shaken, too.'

'I'm … fine, actually.' He shrugged. 'At first, I thought that this … revelation was somehow even worse, but honestly, I feel … safer, if that makes sense. I know I'm not going to wake up one day with an unstoppable desire to throw myself out of a window. I think I scared Yuuri when I told him that I might have a high suicide risk. I … thought he should know that kind of thing, but now the only risk I might wake up with is a sudden onset of homicidal tendencies.'

Yuuri gave Viktor a very light push. 'I think that one would've shown by now.'

Anya looked worried. 'That our parents didn't do anything of that kind doesn't mean it can't happen, Vitya. If you have such thoughts you need to do something. You can't do that to Yuuri.' She raised her hands. 'Or me.'

'No, I never wanted to do it. I just worried that one day something might flip a switch in my head like I thought it happened for them. You were too young, you never felt their thirst for life like I did. It was so abrupt, so out of the blue that I thought … I was so much like them that I feared I inherited a sort of … mental expiration date.'

'Did you ever talk to anyone about that?'

'Yes. To Yuuri. He said that isn't how this works.'

Yuuri's lips twitched. 'I did. But hey, what do I know. Except that being afraid of suicidal ideation isn't the same as actual suicidal ideation. Not that it's a good thing, but it's a whole different level of dangerous. I had that, too, as a teenager because puberty did a real number on my mental health for a while. I worried that my anxiety would make me do something stupid.

'You're one of the most stable people I've ever met, Viktor, it takes a lot to rattle you. What happened with your parents messed you up when you were young, but you found an outlet for your emotions and recovered really well. If you want to talk to someone about this professionally, though, it should be someone with emotional distance. I've also told you that I think it might be a good idea, if only for your peace of mind.'

Viktor smiled fondly. 'Yeah. That's what he told me. It's what I get for marrying a psychologist.'

Anya had listened to him intently. 'Oh, I didn't know that!'

'It's not like I'm doing anything with it. I am not a therapist, those aren't the same thing. Maybe something to look at when I retire. Gods know a lot of athletes could do with a bit of support from someone who knows what their lives are like.'

'Now there's a good backup plan,' Viktor said.

'It's pretty new, too. So far, I always thought I'd just fall into a pit of grief over my uselessness when my career ends, but … I'm starting to come to terms with it. That it won't be long now.'

'Like I'd let you fall into any sort of pit. Anyway, what I was going to do was ask you to give Lera and Lyonya a heads-up, Anya. They're getting an invitation.'

'Really? Lera, too?'

Viktor's smile turned a little wry. 'I thought about not inviting her, but … it wasn't all that much her fault, either.'

'No. It really wasn't.' She smiled. 'Yuuri is a good influence on you.'

'What? What makes you think that this was Yuuri's doing? Maybe I can be forgiving, too.'

Anya tapped her digital pen against her nose. 'Are you saying it wasn't?'

'Ah … well.'

'Oh, before I forget it. Ren can't fast-track you to a citizenship, obviously, but what he can and happily will do is help you go through the process in three years with the least possible resistance. He knows the pitfalls of bureaucracy in his sleep and he'll assist in any way he can.'

Viktor caught himself offering a tiny bow. Yuuri had never realised he'd picked that up, and he was sure Viktor hadn't either. He chuckled and Viktor's cheeks turned pink as he did notice. 'Ah … that would be really brilliant. Tell him I'll definitely collect on that offer.'

Laughing, Anya steered them to the exit. 'Of course. Now get lost, you two, I have a few calls to make.' She waved her electronic paper, which distinguished itself with an outstanding lack of rustling. 'If you need anything, give me a call. Or better yet, come over.' She glanced at her notes. 'And at the latest, I'll be seeing you in June.'

Beaming at her, Yuuri offered a small bow of his own that got a grin out of Viktor. 'Sooner,' he said. 'We'll see you sooner.'

((I struggled whether this should get a chapter name or not – and if so, what I'd do with it. I went with something I normally don't do at all: I changed a single word. You see, only the first half of the line would be vague, and the original with 'was' instead of 'is' is grim. This is not what I need here. So I did the unspeakable and changed the quote to the present tense.

I have a few details I hinted at and never got to answer – those I will keep to myself, should anyone ask, in case I ever feel the need to write a sequel. (Ahem. I have a name for it.) That's also why the epilogue isn't far into the future: I wanted to leave myself space.

Fun fact: The first bit I had was the exchange between Valery and Yuuri on the stairs. Originally, Yuuri would have reacted badly, but by the time I got to sit down and write, I had a time frame and events leading up to it, and I thought, nah, he's stronger than that.))