The sounds of clashing practice swords and shouts echoed through the training hall. Paired with a partner each, the students were tasked by the overseeing instructor to spar until the other admitted defeat.
"From this day onward, you carry the name of the Kisaragi family. Be sure to uphold its principles and honor its name wherever you go." Only innate strength made one useful and worthy of being a member of the family. Under their tutelage, many individuals had achieved great feats.
That was what they said when they welcomed him, but Jin didn't quite know what it meant. Despite that, he understood there was a weight to the name, one that held a form of importance.
Shrugging off the meek hit, Jin set a foot forward and swung. His opponent's grip on their weapon loosened as he threw it off balance. While they reeled back from the strike, he brought the wooden sword up again. One downward swing on the exposed area between their neck and shoulder was all it took for the other kid to kneel down with a cry of pain.
His success did not go unnoticed, and Jin was soon ushered to face another one. Although his new sparring partner had a farther reach than him, he also defeated them with ease. By the end of the entire session, he stood as the lone victor which earned him high praise from their teacher. His future within the family promised to be bright.
Somehow, none of the attacks that had slipped past his guard left a lasting pain on his body. Perhaps he really was stronger than most, but all the fighting still left him nearly breathless. He felt some sort of pride bloom inside him, as it should be because he did well.
Yet when he looked back at the rest of the group, none of them shared a single trace of that satisfaction. His last opponent wore an air of frustration much like the others despite winning the majority of the matches. On all of their faces, Jin saw a hunger in their steely eyes as they nursed the spots where they got hit. Not wanting to provoke them further, he quickly averted his gaze. Apologizing to angry people wasn't always a good idea.
After a lecture about proper striking form, the instructor dismissed them.
As Jin walked out of the training hall, he noticed some of his seniors that had been spectating from the sidelines pointing their eyes in his direction. Their long, disdainful expressions told him they were sizing him up. For what, he did not know yet but he understood they had less than friendly intentions.
Time passed and night came, marking the end of another day.
Lying in his futon, Jin stared at the wooden beams near the ceiling. No matter how long he stayed still, sleep evaded him. It was too quiet. With nothing else to do, he listened. From the breathing patterns of the few children sharing the room, none were wide awake like he was. With a sigh, he threw off his covers. Maybe some fresh air could help. Before he left the space reserved for him, he took the sword resting by his bedside. Everyone seemed wary of Yukianesa when he had it with him even though he kept it all wrapped up, but it was his and his alone. He could take it wherever he wanted.
As silently as possible, Jin slid open the door to leave the communal sleeping area. Only the older kids got their own rooms. The sound of his bare feet tapping against the wooden floor accompanied him as he made his way to the courtyard. Once outside, he saw the tiny silhouette of hanging monorails and an ars magus vessel flying by in the distance. A gentle wind blew when he started walking aimlessly around the garden.
Back inside the church's protected forest, he could only imagine what the world beyond the barrier looked like. Now that he had left, he saw faces he'd never met before, encountered new smells and sounds, including all sorts of scenery he had only seen in pictures from Sister's books. All the excitement, however, was dulled by an unyielding hollowness.
In a place with so many people close to his age, he had been initially cautious yet glad to see them. This was to be his new family, but that must have been a cruel joke. It bore no resemblance to what he had before. Why was he here?
A pang seized him at the center of his chest, causing him to wince. The stone path beneath his feet began to wobble. Wishing for his presence to remain a secret, he slipped behind the lone tree standing near the stone fencing.
Once hidden, the strength in his grip slipped away until he could no longer hang on to Yukianesa. Jin let it drop against the tree bark before clamping his eyes shut in a vain attempt to keep calm. A sob slipped out but he clenched his jaw to mute the miserable sound. The palms of his trembling hands did little to stop the water droplets. No matter how hard he tried, they kept showing up. He wished to leave, yet he had nowhere else to go. Neither Sister nor Ragna could come to help him because they were…they were…
Amidst the tears, Jin raised his head. What happened to everybody?
"Ah, that's right... I killed him."
After Saya had given him the sword, an incredible happiness overtook his senses. Killing the Black Beast to save his brother was what he had been destined to do. He had found his role in this world, but not everyone had rejoiced with him. With Yukianesa guiding him, he shattered the warding barrier surrounding the church. His last clear recollection contained a vision of Ragna glaring at him with his face twisted in agony, blood pooling down his side.
Jin took in a shaky breath.
Above him between the sparse leaves, he saw the moon suspended in the pitch-black sky which didn't help ease his mind. It looked down on the earth, indifferent with its splendor to everything as it illuminated the place. No matter where he went, that loathsome thing followed, taunting him. With it hanging over his head, he felt more frustrated than sad now. After wiping the remaining wetness from his eyes with his sleeve, Jin stared at where he had left Yukianesa. He dusted the cloth off before bringing it up closer to himself.
Through its protective covering, a lingering cold still managed to reach him. The chill dug in deep, soothing his heavy heart. And eventually, the quivering in his body ceased completely. He reopened his eyes.
Whatever the other kids thought of him, whether they wanted to be rid of him or get in his way, it did not matter anymore. They lost the sparring contest and he won because they were weak, it was as simple as that. Their resentment was of their own making. If it meant one day finding that 'purpose' again, he would endure anything. He had to tolerate their scrutinizing stares, match their ambitions better than they could ever dream of achieving. As long as he remained strong, everything was going to be fine. This was the dogma of the outside world, and he could not afford to be frail like Saya.
Having gotten a grasp over his nerves, Jin returned inside. A trail of melting frost followed after him.
He had to keep living.