Glossing over the board, I prop my elbow. This is supposed to be an exercise of the mind and strategy. Before me, it's a wasteland of jumbled pieces and pointless hijinks. I will give credit to the Kommadant, he can play this game so effortlessly against himself as easily as he plays against me. My mimicry is a farse compared to the tactician that he is. Seeing this, I have come to one conclusion: I don't understand how to win at chess.

The general concepts are simple. Hold the middle for the strength lies in the center for all operations. He loves to capitalize on it once he gains ground. If only I understood how he used his knights. These horse figurines and their multi-prong movements. Meanwhile every piece on the board operates straightforward rules. Or I presumed them to be. Too tedious to remember and gives me headaches.

There is Mainz, that cruiser I saw from yesterday. She can be helpful, from what I've seen, Mainz is as industrious as any Iron Blood, assisting the Kommadant in his duties. Beyond that I know little of her besides the fact that she's a Priority Ship. Based on the Admiral Hipper class, a rowdy group of the most perplexing sisters.

Watching a few of her games from time to time, I can see Mainz is not an articulate player. I read my notes and hold marginal grasp of her style. Limited in her finesse compared to Strasser or the mastery of the Kommadant. Mainz is a player that takes her time at first, then strikes hard as the game progresses. Beyond this, my understanding is sparse at best, non-existent at worst. She obviously has a better grasp of this game despite my assessment of her as a mildly skilled player.

Simply ask her to…to.

To help me.

My chair creaks. The air around my neck heats to an uncomfortable level. As the thought of asking someone, especially a person I don't know, to help me – grows an awful feeling in my stomach.

Hmph.

I mull over it. Picking up the queen on my side. Cupping the piece in my hands. The queen can do anything on the board, correct? They can take out every piece from any distance and direction. Powerful. If I can be a queen, then why is it suddenly a strange idea that I talk to someone about getting…help.

Questions flood my mind. Topics and uncomfortable thoughts cross me. Friends. The idea with socializing with others. There was never a need to focus on that when the world is against me. No one can understand or see what I struggle with. Including that so called sister of mine. Trusting others is a sham and yet…I trust him. I trust the Kommadant. He trusts Mainz. Thus, I can trust her input and receive her advice.

So.

So…

What is there to say? How do I approach Mainz? She likes coffee…I mean, she carries around coffee mugs like their pocket pens. Broaching a topic over coffee may work. Yet…everyone likes black coffee.

"Graf Zeppelin?"

Broken from my spell by the sound of my name. Standing at the doorway is that heavy cruiser, Mainz herself.

Holding two steaming cups in one hand and a plate of cookies in the other. She takes a glance around the office, before her eyes fall upon me, "Herr Kommadant told me you'd still be in here. I thought it best to keep you company."

Annoyance ticks me. Shoving it down, I still voice my thoughts as kindly as possible.

"I see no reason."

She strides over to me. To a table we have placed away from the desk. Spacious and lacking the very great eyesore that is the paperwork. Setting down a tray of cookies to my left, she puts down her usual mugs and coffee pot to my right. Still steaming hot, "Don't be that way with me. I can see you need a fill. Those bags under your eyes can't trick me."

"Hmm," my fingers grasp the handle tentatively, "You brought…cookies?"

She nods, "Baking is not my forte. Drinking coffee with dessert enhances the experiences. Pardon the quality, it's my third attempt and I'm quite proud of this batch," She eyes the board set out, "I didn't think the Kommadant currently has time to play a game."

"No," I deadpan, "He is preoccupied with the infirmary and Odin's condition. He's…taking longer than expected."

She nods and settles in, taking a seat. Watching my game and drinking her brew. I survey the mess mash of pieces that I attempted to carve into a grand play. Truly, the board resembles a cacophony of awkward moves and plays. To mock me, there truly is no outcome from either side. I wonder how that sibling of mine manages chess by herself for hours like this. Monotonous.

"Never took you for a chess player."

"Interesting unnecessary observation," I click my tongue, "As you said, I never took myself as a player. There was no real need for me to like chess, before coming to this port that is."

"Really?" Mainz is quick to respond, "I would've thought Strasser taught you. She's one of the best chess players I know."

Brief distasteful thoughts barge through the tranquility. One sharp headache comes on when I hear her name.

"She is," I say curtly, trying hard not to frown, "We're not on speaking terms. Please don't bring her up, I'd rather not talk about her."

"Sorry," Mainz bites her bottom lip. An awkward moment settles as I now feel uncomfortable playing. My mind now straying away towards my sister.

To her credit, Mainz lifts the plate up as an offering. An offering of still warm desserts.

"Cookie?"

"Yes, please," I take one and break my train of thought. I take one and begin chewing and is pleasantly surprised by the taste. Chocolate chip. Softer than the cookies from the mess hall, the change in texture made it easier for me to digest. Enjoyable, maybe. Pleasant, one could say. This does steer me towards focusing on the board.

Said heavy cruiser is refilling her mug with her caffeinated brew. The entire time I am stuck in my own world, she prepares another mug. Two, three, I have no idea which one she is on. Glee behind her expression as she whiffs the smell. I see she's grinded through a noticeable amount of coffee beans. The bag containing the beans resembles half its size compared to yesterday's condition.

"By the gods, you consumed half the bag," I scrunch my nose, "I understand if it was alcohol. Coffee instead? I've never seen someone go through so much in two days."

"Ah~", Mainz hums, from the sounds of it, in approval. Not at all offended by my comment or doesn't care, "Coffee is amazing. Having a wonderful taste, great richness, and the lengthy history behind its origins. Quite a tale for such a great drink."

"You make it sound like coffee is greater then simply being a bundle of addictive plants cultivated in a backwater plantation."

"Harsh," Mainz reaches for a napkin she brought with the cookies. Wiping her hands on one, "You're not wrong. Aside from the backhand comment towards the plantation, I find that honesty admirable coming from you."

"There's no point to hiding what I think. Pleasantries are simply a stop gap to hide someone's secrets. Secrets that don't need to be hidden in a world that backstabs those that live within it."

"I'm sorry if this is an uncomfortable topic, Zeppelin," Mainz explains, swirling her finger around the edges of her mug, "Not many people want to talk about such a subject as this one, and since you're new here, I wanted to get to know you. My apology for starting the conversation like this."

"Its…fine." I huff, shrugging off her words. Similarly, struggling to interact with her, "There's a reason why you wanted to talk to me? I find it odd that you only wish to simply…talk. We've never spoken to each other until yesterday. Why now?"

She goes quiet. Staying still, I await her reply. Noting the little details and sensing the direction of this conversation. The way she grasps her mug, staring into it like an abyss. Mainz continues to snack on her cookies. Drinking occasional sips until she is ready to speak.

"A dark way to see the world," she pauses to wipe crumbs off her face, "I don't see what's wrong with having a second chance at life. I mean, see it this way. You have a history to go off on. Receiving your second chance to show the world that you matter, that you can be better then before-"

"There's nothing for me to be proud of," I interject, a sour taste coming to my mouth. Even if the cookies are sweet, "I was denied my existence. The world can burn for all I care."

"It must be better to not possess a history, Mainz," I wave a cookie in the air, "Clean slate with whatever you add to it can be your accomplishment."

Mainz's face scrunches up, she opens her mouth. Her inquiry pauses me.

"Don't you want to prove to the world you matter?"

Whatever words that should've came out my mouth died in my throat. Such a question. There is no need for me to prove myself…

"No," I voice out, "The world failed me. Why do I need to prove myself to it?"

Hardening my gaze, unveiling the words I've always wanted to say since she brought this topic. Words that have always rested in the bottom of my heart. Scowling, I summon my deep seeded hate. Channeling my haunting words with disgust.

"They brought me into this world. They planned me. Built me. Sailed me out when I wasn't even finished. Then my own caretakers scuttled me, abandoning me to those Northern Parliament dogs. Swine, they used me! Brought me back into the waters only to destroy my remains. What more can this world give me?"

Saying all of this unwinds the twisting knot in my gut. Those memories feeling raw once more. I lean over to her, "I was given a second chance…and the world failed me. What's a third going to do. Nothing."

Left speechless. Mainz sits. Receiving no immediate reaction, I push myself back into my chair. Living through the beating of my heart with senses calling back to me. My head is ringing, chest thumping. I remember the mantra for moments like these. Counting in my head and tapping on the table, I closed my eyes. Volatile emotions risk jumping out of my throat into a scream. Quietly, sinking into my chair, I breathe.

One. Two. Three.

Four. Five. Six.

Seven…eight…nine.

Ten.

Breathe in. Exhale, breath out. Think.

Thinking. About, what I said. To whom I said it. Curiously looking over, expecting her to be annoyed. Mirror the scowling I gave her or even lay upon me an expression of disgust. Above all, be indifferent and leave me to my own devices. For all my doubts and thoughts, for all my expectations, they all respond the same. Even Strasser treated me that way…

Nothing prepared me for the hand that reaches for my own. Opening up the fist that formed in my right, she plucks my fingers apart. Showing me the broken crumbs of a crushed cookie. Mainz reaches for a napkin and wipes them into her hands. Covering my accident and putting it into a nearby trash can. She turns to me with the warmest, yet muted, smile.

"I-I didn't know you felt that way, I'm really sorry for bringing that out," she says quietly, scooting closer. Still holding onto my hand. Her fingers wrap around my own.

"Graf Zeppelin," She begins, taking a moment to swallow. Her eyes fall upon the table, "I don't think I can understand you. I am unable to. You know what I am. A priority ship. Drawn from the research of a lab. I never had a history, nothing to show for my own. My ship never made it outside the thoughts of others and the papers they inevitably discarded. To the world, maybe, I was lost. But I was brought back."

She lets go of my hand and grabs my mug, pouring more into it. The cruiser hesitates to hand it to me. Peering longingly into my own mug as if there is an image. Seeing a ghost of some kind.

"I never had a history. Nothing to be proud of either."

Lips curl into a strained grin, "Coffee became my outlet. You can't go wrong with it. Everyone wants to drink it, and everyone wants to have it. When you need more energy to go, you drink it. If work is rough, you enjoy it. Coffee is dependable, tasty, and people can 'adjust' it to their liking."

Mainz lower lip quivers, "I want people to turn to me in their times of need. To rely on me. Seeing me as an example to follow, to fight with, and to fight for. You may feel raw indescribable hate and rage. I on the other hand am not the same.

Shoulders sag, "There's nothing but an empty pit of inadequacy."

"I find my solace in coffee. Spending time with girls who call me their sister. Exploring new things and challenging myself at night with my duties that most girls loathe to take. Right now…I don't really know if I found anything. There is a chance I did, and I don't know. But…I feel better now. More content."

"I guess what I am trying to say is," she gently pushes the mug towards me, I do not refuse it, "It does not matter how many chances one gets in life. Their first, second, or third attempt. My question wasn't worded correctly. I think what I really meant to ask of you, what is it that you want to do in this world? Given this life you have now. What do you want to do with it?"

Ages could pass before I can conceive an answer to that.

If I could ever.

Blank. Nothing. Only action comes to me.

Smelling the Arabian roast once more, I sip on my coffee, letting the clock tick in the background. Watching the sun outside, shine brightly into this room. Its still cold, yes, but the snow is little less of an eyesore.

With one finger I tap against the table. Three times. Each one slower than the last.

I sigh.

"…I don't know." Shrugging, "Play chess?"

Mainz blinks back. Tears that could've formed from her confession suddenly shifts to laughter. Boggling my mind.

She's laughing. Humoring her in some capacity with my answer. Holding her mouth and looking away out of embarrassment. Am I supposed to laugh at this? I didn't think it was all that funny.

Eventually she stops. Using another napkin to wipe her face. Shaking her head, she drinks from her own coffee mug, its steam dissipating. Ogling me with a perplexing view of curiosity and…amusement.

Normally, I would feel offended by such actions. Or assumed the reaction. For some reason, this whole situation feels relieving. Head still throbbing with a headache, I chose to derail my train of thought. This led me nowhere. Sipping on my drink, I realize the board is still set out.

Sparing one more glance at the clock, an hour has passed.

I forgotten the whole reason why I wanted to talk to her.

"Ah. The Kommadant isn't back, and no one has showed up yet," Mainz follows my gaze, "You know…if chess is what you want to do. I can help you."

"…really?"

"Yes," Her eyes soften with a polite, yet genuine, smile, "Show me that writing pad you used for taking notes. Maybe I can help you with formalizing some of your thoughts."

Fumbling with the desk drawer, I retrieve my notepad. Skipping through pages, I find my hastily drawn diagram of the knight's movements. The bane of my defenses. No matter what solid defense I setup, he finds a hole and exploits it. Being unable to use my own knights against him is a personal detriment.

"Wow. Those are accurate depictions." She studies it in wide eyed awe, "The knights' helms are flawlessly detailed."

"Yes, I try," nervous of my work, heat starts coming to my face, "I, erm, I wanted to ask how the castle move works and the name and function to this specific pawn move…"

Spending time with someone…

I think, I made a new friend.