October 1, 2006
Cafeteria

Fox grimaced at the options presented before him.

Today was World Vegetarian Day, as he'd heard from several other Smashers. And, for the first time ever at Smash, Master Hand was intent on upholding that specific holiday.

He exhaled sharply. While he was perfectly capable of surviving on fruits and vegetables, he was most definitely not happy about it. Foxes were omnivorous animals, and he for one loved his fair share of meat.

He ultimately settled on a protein bowl that looked promising enough, filled with oatmeal and avocados and some nuts on top. He picked up his tray and turned to make his way to his usual table.

"Why isn't there any meat today?" he grumbled to no one in particular.

He didn't expect anyone to answer, but he wasn't the least bit surprised when the voice blared in his head again.

What's wrong, fly guy? Can't go a day without some bloody meat? God, you're such a stickler for food, Fox!

Fox sighed and closed his eyes. He knew that voice all too well. It belonged to Falco, whom he hadn't seen or talked to in years. And it carried with it a hint of sadness.

He missed Falco. He missed Falco quite a lot actually, if it meant he was coping by imagining the avian's characteristic one-liners. Sure, he was arrogant and brash and always seemed to get Star Fox into danger back home, but he had always been a good friend and companion. And after so many years of fighting for the safety of Corneria together, Fox had simply taken being on Falco's good side for granted.

The last few years, though…they were painful to relive. He'd simply never expected Falco to be so barbaric.

I never expected myself to be so barbaric either. I'm still guilty. I just realized what I was doing earlier than him, he thought.

Long nights dreaming up of heinous pranks followed by innocent, I-don't-think-I-did-anything-wrong laughter. That was what hit him the most. That was what he remembered. Falco was happy. So was Fox. And as far as he cared, nothing else really mattered.

But when push came to shove and it came time for them to face the consequences, Falco simply…never got the memo that he was in the wrong. And Fox himself failed to realize that Falco never wised up.

I wish I could've helped him see the truth, as I did. I wish he was still here with me, that maybe we could go and apologize to them together…but it was too late for him. He was gone.

Fox squeezed his eyes shut as he slowly sauntered over to his table, a wistful feeling of regret beginning to wash over him.

He remembered the first tournament well. No, not the fact that the low-tiers were persecuted or annihilated by the entire Smash community, because they weren't, not really.

But he remembered the support that he and the other Smashers showed to the low-tiers. He remembered taking Ness for a ride in his Arwing and how the boy whooped in delight. He remembered hours spent teaching Samus how to shoot her laser gun with more precision and accuracy. He remembered the strength of the low-tiers as they moved forward. Their resilience and their courage, their grit and their perseverance.

And, above all else, he distinctly remembered being proud of them.

That time of Smash was beautiful, he thought. A time of support and camaraderie.

And he realized now just how much he enjoyed it.

But then he remembered the wicked smile on his face as he frosted the pies during that fateful first day of Melee's tier list. The glee and excitement he'd felt as he picked it up and waited for them to walk in the door. The sheer happiness of just being able to hold a relative position of power, to be able to do terrible things to others and get away with it.

When did everything change? When did I become so evil?

He thought about it for a long while, but his brain simply couldn't conjure up anything worthwhile. He made it to his table without any further recourse, and sat down in his usual seat to a now-familiar voice.

"Hey, Fox!" Yoshi greeted him. "How are you? You sure look like you're thinking about something important."

Realizing that he was being addressed by his unlikely friend and long-time table mate, Fox shook the intrusive thoughts from his head as best he could.

"Oh, yeah. I was just thinking about something. And it's not important. Anyways. Dude, did you guys realize today was World Vegetarian Day?"

Mr. Game & Watch beeped in assent.

"Yeah. It's so stupid, man! Doesn't Master Hand realize that foxes need their meat? God, could you just imagine if he started doing Meatless Mondays after this?"

Yoshi giggled. "I'd like to see that happen just for your sake, Fox. Now that I think about it, you've sure looked a little full around the waist as of late."

"Hey, what! I am not fat!"

Mr. Game & Watch beeped a couple of times.

"What? Not you too, Game & Watch!"

He beeped again, affirming his stance on the matter.

The three kept squabbling over Fox's figure for a while before the conversation turned to other food-related topics. Fox momentarily forgot his memories of the past, instead letting himself be swept away by the energy of his table mates.

He smiled. He had to admit that he never thought he'd become friends with Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch of all people. But they'd taken him in during his hour of need despite all the baggage he brought with him, given him a place to not feel left out, and were largely responsible for him feeling normal again. He never realized how dear they'd become to him.

But…

They weren't Falco. They never could have been. Falco was his dearest friend of all, that much was certain. A bond forged in the heat of war held stronger than any other. There wasn't anything wrong with his new friends, it was just how relationships worked. But Fox began to ponder again. Just how and why did that bond break so quickly?

Once more, the answer eluded him. He dismissed the thought after a few moments to return to the present.

"I guess it's good Ganondorf's not here, then. Have you seen him? The guy hates his veggies so much he threw up the only time he ever ate them! Haha!"

Fox started to laugh along with Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch (who sounded like he was beeping happily), but a sudden realization froze him mid-giggle.

Ganondorf. It was him. He was the one to turn me to the dark side, wasn't he?

The memory was faint and hazy, but the name had been just enough to trigger it.

The first morning of the tier list, when he'd saw that he'd landed at top spot. He was high off his success, and he simply felt incredible – like he was on top of the world.

Ganondorf had known. And he'd approached him at that moment, tempting him with a promise.

The promise that his spot on the tier list meant power.

The promise that it gave him the chance to do great things. Like lording over the rest of the Smashers like a dictator.

It was about as brilliant of an idea as it sounded. The power of hindsight is truly amazing, Fox mirthfully thought. My stupidity back then was remarkable.

He chuckled bitterly. So this was what he'd become, wasn't it? Just a dumb, gullible furry? God, what would his father think? What would Falco think?

There I go again. Thinking about Falco. Missing Falco. Even despite everything.

"Uh, Fox? You all right? You…don't look very happy about something." The concern in Yoshi's voice snapped Fox back to reality. He blinked once and looked up.

He was about to shrug it off like the first time Yoshi brought it up, but then he caught the dinosaur's gaze head-on. Fox stared into those big eyes of his, sharp yet welcoming, and carrying in them a hint of knowing. That gaze betrayed what Yoshi wanted to say:

I know what you're thinking about. And you can talk to us about it anytime.

Fox sighed. This was far from the first time the three of them had come close to broaching the topic of his past deeds, but every time before he'd decided to put his walls up and brush off Yoshi's and Mr. Game & Watch's concerns. Unsurprisingly, it was a topic that he intensely disliked speaking about, a shameful period of his life that he would rather forget.

But not today. Whether it was because he was feeling extremely nostalgic for Falco's companionship or simply trusting enough of his new friends to finally open up, he didn't even know himself. But for the first time in a long while, Fox McCloud found it within him to open his heart to a fellow Smasher.

He sighed again in resignation and spoke carefully. "I know. I've been thinking a lot, lately. About, you know…the…the…"

Fox hesitated briefly and sighed. His next words were about as quiet as he had ever spoken. "The tier list."

Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch nodded in understanding. The latter beeped a couple times, the last few rising in pitch to signify it as a question.

"(Is this about your involvement with the low-tiers?)"

Fox closed his eyes and nodded. "Mostly. I was thinking about Falco. And, well, the…things we did to the low-tiers a few years ago."

The atmosphere seemed to thicken in regretful memory. Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch both set their utensils down and leaned forward. Fox's eyes widened in surprise before his face settled into a grateful smile, glad that both of them were willing to listen to what he had to say.

Buoyed by the trust his table mates held in him, Fox took the plunge into his ocean of sorrowful memories.

He spoke about Falco and of events in recent years. He recalled the happy moments they'd had in their first year of Melee, and the friendly rivalry they shared in their pursuit of top spot on the tier list. He recalled the brief period of camaraderie they'd enjoyed with the High-Tier Clique. The pranks. The bullying. The rush of glory that came with power. He recalled the day that the low-tiers had united to beat him to a pulp. The pain of his wounds. The humiliation of losing. His embarrassing gaffe in the cafeteria on New Years' Eve. He recalled the day when he realized he'd been fooled. The day when he left the High-Tier Clique and joined the very table they were currently sitting at.

The day that he realized that he'd lost his closest friend to the temptations of power.

And while he was making his way through his memories of the day that Falco and the other high-tiers departed Smash Mansion for their makeshift prison, he began to lose it. The pain was so, so potent. And it was quickly overwhelming him. He hadn't realized it until then, but he'd been progressively losing his hold on his emotions as he spoke. He could feel a burning sensation in the back of his eyes. Were those tears threatening to burst? He didn't know. It'd been a long, long time since he last cried.

Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch exchanged a concerned glance, not really sure how to proceed. But just listening to Fox's voice, the way it had started to shake and quaver, worried them greatly.

"And…I saw him when they left out the front door. I saw his face, you know," Fox soldiered on with a heavy heart, his resistance weakening with each word. "And I saw…well, nothing. He just looked…lifeless. And I knew then. I knew. I knew he was gone."

He let out a choking sound, a pitiful sob. He could feel his eyes give up and the dam burst. He squeezed them shut with all his might. It didn't matter. The tears flowed down his face and he cried.

"Fox?" Yoshi prodded. Fox shook his head and looked away, unable to respond. He thought about standing up and running off, not daring to shame himself by crying about his own foolish emotions. But he didn't. It wasn't right of him. He owed it to his friends – and to Falco – to face the demons of his past once and for all.

"I'm sorry…" he managed. "I'm just…I…the memories…Falco…" he trailed off abruptly, strangled by his own sobbing.

"Fox!" Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch hurried from their seats and wrapped their arms around Fox's shoulders. The feeling of being embraced, so hauntingly familiar yet shockingly foreign, caused him to tense up briefly. It occurred to him that he hadn't been hugged like this since…well, probably since before the tier list came out nearly 5 years ago.

The three of them stayed there, frozen in time and locked together. Fox's heart twisted and turned, so very unsure of what he felt. Where there was only grief and regret before, he could feel something else growing. What was it? What was that light and airy easiness he felt, ever so slightly soothing the pain?

His hold on Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch tightened marginally as he searched his feelings for clarity. They gave him concerned glances, but he tuned them out, his eyes still shut firmly.

Fox. Listen to me. A new voice sounded in his mind. It did not belong to Falco, didn't drip of the smugness and sarcasm he'd come to appreciate in years past; but it was vaguely familiar, an echo of happier days gone by. It was filled with wisdom and understanding, but also love and pride. It was almost as if–

He gasped.

"Dad!"

"What?" came Yoshi's voice in confusion.

Fox blushed in embarrassment slightly. "Sorry, sorry, it's just…I'm thinking about him."

And he was.

Fox. There will be times in your life when you will hit rock bottom, when you fall so hard that you think you might never be able to get up again. During this time you might feel empty, as though your life is missing its calling. You'll feel tired and bitter, and perhaps it'll be difficult to even get out of bed every morning.

But I want you to know something, Fox. It will get better. Maybe you don't understand now since nothing bad has happened yet, but…there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. There will always be hope, Fox. You just need to keep walking towards it.

That voice…oh, how Fox missed it. His father had always known how to cheer him up when he was down, and even now, long after his death, he was doing the same. A content expression washed over Fox's face, the answers he sought settling his turmoil.

Hope. Cliche as it was, there was no denying that that was the emotion growing in his heart. Its levity ate away at the thorns of guilt and sadness that had long before taken root, and the pain ever so slowly began to cease. It was…liberating. Just a little bit. Enough for his sobs to slowly die out in his throat, leaving only continued silence.

Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch slowly withdrew from the embrace, and Fox reached a hand up to wipe his tears. When he was done, he looked up at his friends, unsure of what he would see. This was unchartered ground for him, and he had little idea of what to expect.

"Fox," Yoshi started. "I know you're hurting. You miss Falco a lot, don't you?"

Fox nodded. "I do. I miss him every day."

"But you know he's not the same person you remember."

He looked down and sighed. "Yes. He's gone. He's changed for the worse now. I just…I can't accept it. And I don't know if I ever will."

Mr. Game & Watch chimed in. ("But can you accept that maybe you never would have been able to save him?")

Fox hesitated. This was not a question he knew the answer to. A part of him wanted to say no, to defiantly defend Falco's goodness. Another part of him wanted to say yes, to admit defeat, to cut himself off from a toxic parasite and start anew. They were locked in a fierce tug of war, Fox's heart and his mind jostling for supremacy. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

("You don't know the answer to that question, do you?")

Fox looked up. "No. I don't," he agreed.

Mr. Game & Watch sighed, in the form of a long, draw-out beep that slowly softened. ("I understand. But listen here, Fox. There's no denying that Falco and you did some horrible things to people that didn't deserve it.") Fox nodded. ("But regardless of whether or not you think he can be redeemed, you have to redeem yourself first to be able to do so.")

Fox narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean, Game & Watch?"

("You want to help Falco. I know you do. But you can't help him if you can't help yourself. You're sitting here, lost and confused, hounded by your regrets. You can't move on.")

Fox winced at the sheer bluntness that Mr. Game & Watch was displaying. He'd always been the voice of reason among the table, down to earth and brutally honest. Now was no different.

("If you want to set things right with him, you need to first set things right with yourself.") Fox nodded absently, not really sure where this was going.

("So I suppose what I'm trying to say is you need to go and say sorry to the low-tiers.")

Fox's eyes widened at that. "But how? They hate me. If I do that, then…"

("Are you saying you're scared then?")

"I'm not scared!" Fox spat out. "I just don't think it would do anything–"

("What do you have to lose?")

Fox hesitated. "Game & Watch, please. Not now. I can talk to them later, but Falco–"

("No, Fox. You're making excuses.")

"I…" Fox paused, trying to think of something, anything, to defend his dignity. But there was nothing.

He sighed, holding a hand up to his face. "I guess you're right," he conceded.

Mr. Game & Watch beeped in approval. ("Good. Then what are you waiting for? They're right over there.)

Fox gulped. Contrary to what he had said, he was scared. He hadn't spoken to any of the low-tiers in a long, long time, and he was worried about the reaction he would get. Would they still hate him? There was no way they'd forgive him, right? Could they? Would they even be willing to try?

He didn't want to face them down, not now and perhaps not ever. He was perfectly content to spend the rest of his days keeping a respectful distance from the Low-Tier Clique. To throw himself at their mercy was frightening…and humiliating.

Oh come on, Fox. You're an absolute coward! What kind of honorable leader doesn't own up to their mistakes?

Fox slapped himself. Shut…up…Falco…

But the voice kept pestering him, practically screaming in his head. Wimp! Loser! Why do I even follow you anymore?

Fox growled. I said shut up!

You need to man up, Fox! This isn't the time to back down!

Not you too, Dad!

You need to do this. You have to. It's what I would have done.

Get out. Get out of my head, both of you!

Fox McCloud's just a sore loser! Ahahaha!

You shut up, Falco! You think I can't be a man? I'll go show you right now, you little birdbrained bastard!

Fox shot up from his seat abruptly, surprising Yoshi and Mr. Game & Watch in the process. And then, with purpose and a slight touch of recklessness, he strode towards the low-tiers' table.

His table mates exchanged the "what-just-happened" look.

"Er…" Yoshi started. "Well I guess you must have got through to him."