I yawn, feeling lightheaded.

The morning chill is at its usual best, waking me up after another rude awakening in sweat. Still, I busy myself by ensuring new, and mostly returning, girls are comfortable with their arrangement. At first, I didn't think reinforcements were necessary. After finding smiles and more used sidewalks, I realized they did help ease workloads and gave more girls free time.

Right now, as I'm heading for my next destination, I can see Eugen and Hipper going about, heading towards the recently reactivated base café. Letting me wave at them as I passed by. Seeing them in their off-duty clothes is a jarring welcoming site.

This does not mean I didn't run into problems.

More girls meant an increase in loathsome documents required to run the base. Hence, why I'm outside this morning, running around, and making sure every new inconvenience is suppressed. Minor problems with unaccounted munitions crates, missing transfer papers and breaking up rigging play fights. Usual activities to keep my mind afloat and using Mainz's coffee in step.

My efforts to move on from yesterday are in vain.

Graf Zeppelin's quiet resignation spiraled into this chaos. I'm touched by her willingness to remain at my side, being one of my longest serving secretaries, it would prove to be fleeting. Because before my shift began, Friedrich handed me the letter spelling the end to whatever optimism I had today. Truthfully, I did tell her she could leave when she chose, as long as she arranged for a replacement with advanced notice. After yesterday, I don't have the heart to reprimand her.

Call it weakness for failing at my job and a letting down friend.

Putting aside my own misgivings, I'll need to sort out today's work. Strasser's numbers added another headache atop my already full schedule. Caffeine can do only so much to offset my inability to sleep. With each day decreasing whatever rest I get.

After narrowly avoiding another wall, I grasp helplessly for my keys. Juggling hands with messy crinkled paper and my keys to my office. Relieved to find cracked open, I barge my way inside. I rush up to my desk, fumbling with myself until I feel a pair of hands reach for my work. Picking up a few strays trailing behind me.

"Kommadant~! Here! Let me help!"

I'm greeted by the gloves of Heinrich, her white bow on her head bounces. Her infectious smile is enough to sidetrack my running thoughts, an acceptable distraction to my condition.

"Thanks," I stand wearily, panting from my quick jog back to the office, "Aren't you supposed to be out helping Adalbert, I thought she needed you?"

"Sis, said she'll be fine!" She cheers me up, or tries to, when I still give her my incredulous stare, she pouts, "Really! Its what she loves to do."

"Alright, I'll let you pass on this one," I drop the subject and move on. Unfortunately.

Startled at her appearance, I pull my collar to hide a gulp, "Good day, Herrin Strasser. Is there an issue with your lab?"

"I can't say I have any problems if I don't possess the means to enter said facility." Polite dissatisfaction in her words, "It was unpleasant waiting an hour for an officer to give me access to my own workspace, sir."

"My apologies," visibly flushed. I did promise her I would be back with a key. Over an hour or two ago. "I was supposed to hand it off to you…again, I'm sorry. This morning had been hectic since my last secretary res-"

Putting the brakes to my words, I switch words, "-Finished her rotation, I have been preoccupied with putting out proverbial fires around base."

Ignoring my slip, she shrugs, "Here."

Walking over to me, I feel her gloves hands reach for my collar. Standing upright, both in confusion and bewilderment at her directness. Strasser adjusts my disheveled clothes by straightening my tie and brushing off my shoulders and arms. Being at eye level with her, her smirk draws me in, not with a smugness like Eugen or a go getter like Heinrich. In it, I see more of a professional friendliness hinting a stern nature. Finished with tidying me up she takes a step back.

"Good, now you're a proper officer. I don't mean to invade your personal space, sir, but it was difficult seeing you in such a state."

"Don't worry about it," Approving of my somewhat refreshed appearance, "I didn't stop to consider how I appeared, thank you."

"You're welcome," she turns to Heinrich, "Do you have any business with the Kommadant, Heinrich? Or do you happen to be his secretary? I wish to be on my way."

"I'm good~! I'm actually here wondering who is going to be his next one."

Strasser scrunches up, giving me a judgmental look, "It does explain this…"

"I'm made fully aware, Strasser," I grumble, "I can handle this. Trust me."

Both women don't believe me. Heinrich doubly so.

"You're lying, sir~!" She points at me, "C'mon, you and I both know you can't do this base alone without one of us babes with you."

I cough into my sleeve, "And you should be on your way to your exercises, Prinz Heinrich."

She rolls her eyes, pouting again, "It's a poor excuse and you know I'm right here."

Instantaneously, she brightens up, "I have a suggestion! ~"

She puts her hands up and presents Strasser, who blushes, "I think we have your next replacement right here, sir! She could be your temp until you figure things out!"

Strasser, to my surprise, didn't object. Moving her gaze to me, the secretary desk, and the rest of the office. Is she really going to consider?

"You do need an immediate set of hands," she stares at the growing piles filling up my desk as we speak, girls slipping in and out as our conversation continues, "Well, Kommadant? Would you like me to assist you?"

"I thought you had a laboratory to set up…" I murmur, disbelieving what I'm hearing.

She places to hands on the cane she is holding, "My schedule was already interrupted, and I mind adjustments when they come. I do wish to understand what kind of officer you are, both behind the desk and out in the battlefield. Perfect time to begin my assessment now."

"I…" I scratch my head. This is how I usually get to know new kansen and she seems so earnest. The demeanor she gives off is one of a serious work ethic and discipline. I do linger on what happened, between her and Graf Zeppelin. Quashing the potential for needless drama, I tie my tongue and worries. Work is in the way and the papers call for the pen.

"Sure, here, Heinrich, if you can help her get set up, you can be on your way. You know how things work here."

"She has?" Strasser switches to the cruiser, who jumps a little, "So, I'm glad to see you put apply your studies. And here I was beginning to wonder if you learned anything at all."

"Heheh…heh," she mumbles, shrinking, "I mean, he lets every new girl try her hand at this position, I'm just not…qualified."

"Don't sell yourself short. She means she doesn't like being cooped up in here," I explain for the shrinking cruiser, "You were miserable for the two weeks we had together. Paperwork is not for everyone and I'd rather have someone who can handle a stationary job."

"Okay, okay. Yeah, it was so boring…" she rolls her eyes back, "And all he does is play chess! You need to get our more! Walks are dull!"

"When on rounds, strolls are fine, thank you very much," I respond plainly, receiving her jab quite nicely, "I do make time to play with Eisen. You can credit me for making some effort."

"Speaking of Eisen! I was wondering if we could-"

"Excuse me, you two," Strasser clears her throat, getting our attention, "Could we get begin? We've wasted enough time today."

I look over at the door and see Z2, standing patiently with a bundle nestled under her armpit. Seeing a forming line of girls behind her, I take my seat.

"Certainly," I pick up my pen, grimacing yet smiling, "Let's get this started, shall we?"

The next hours are filled with reading and straining my eyes against the words on the papers. Strasser takes on her work quickly, and efficiently. More then I could handle as she outpaces me in getting papers through, usually leaving me with a neat stack to read through, sign, and push into the completed bin. Being short and curt with questions or clarification, I don't mind the serious work horse. It did pass time fast enough for the sun to turn its familiar orange.

Having little interaction did miff me. Her work ethic reminds me of Odin. Little conversation and taking every minute with deep consideration. Dealing with the battlecruiser made it easier to deal with time crunches Strasser would give me. I had to adjust to her methods through the day, biting my tongue whenever a paper comes my way, and an expected glare would await my immediate attention.

Being more honest with myself, I have a hidden sense of animosity towards her. Graf Zeppelin wasn't in the right for causing whatever happened between them. I am quite fond of her sister and my thoughts linger on our interaction from last night. I want to do something, but I don't have the time nor the will to head over there…and…

Close. I almost signed Graf Zeppelin's name on the last paper. Scribbling it out, I shake my head and rub the weight in my eyes away. Still, I don't know what to do now, I'd rather give her space she needs. Work has to take precedent, a normally stoic task and duty, it makes me feel awful. Maybe she'll come around, hopefully.

"…and that's it." I sigh, putting down the last one, "It should be the last one for today. Any more can wait for tomorrow."

Strasser nods, having also sat with me for a while. Putting away her pen, she looks up at the bookshelf in the office. The one containing the chessboard.

"I assume it's yours?" She asks, tilting her head towards the shelf.

"It is," I feel my mouth go dry, "But, don't you have a lab to set up?"

"Ah, yes, my lab," she nods hesitantly, clear fatigue in her movements. "Normally, I would be on it in due haste. Today, I am taking liberties with my schedule. While my research is paramount, there is no urgency to prepare my projects. They require several hours, and I prefer to begin it first thing in the morning."

Visibly, there is a silent dull in her mood. Her grin less genuine and lingering on a thought before shaking her head, "I do need to decompress from…recent events."

Her sister. There's no need to go into it. Thinking about last night only opens up the pit in my stomach. Playing with my collar, I nod my head in acknowledgement.

"I don't mind, I can get some extra help for tomorrow, I assure you," I give her a quick smile, lying through my teeth.

"I have time this evening, if you would like to play that is."

Strasser rises up from her chair with eager grinning, "Friedrich mentioned to me you are one of the best, I would like to put that to the test."

A well of pride does help with my dampened mood. Chess challenges with confidence like hers does make me feel excited. Finding no more objections and seeing it is still a fresh evening, playing a game wouldn't hurt this early.

"Try me."

She folds her arms, "Under one condition."

"I'm all ears."

Reaching into her coat, she pulls out a pocket watch, "Timed chess, five minutes between us."

Seeing the device, I gloss over its shine and silver. Drawn to the transparency, a glass casing aligned with precious metal. Unknown to me how she gained access to such materials, I take note the possible connections she may have to wealthy or resourceful individuals. For chess, knowing what she actually needs, I remembered I possessed an object more suited to the challenge.

"Not my favored style of play," I hold a finger up, before she could give me some sort of cheeky response, "It doesn't mean I can't handle it. While you may have a very intricate watch, I think this may be better for a chess match…"

Slinking my hand into the desk, I pull out a weathered piece of oak. Beckoning her to see the contraption, a chess timer. Two buttons and a clock situated inside. I lift it up for her to hold it. Taking it, she inspects the curves closely. Excitement and awe blossoms, she revels in being this expressive.

"Splendid," she brightens up, gently handing it back to me, "One timed game, to prove you really are as good as I hear."

Setting up once more, I show her the location of our coming battle. Preparing and offering the woman a chair at the table, I reveal the chessboard's contents. Showing her the black and white queens, she takes the former.

"Black, huh?" I note the similarities to her sister, "There's no problem with going first."

"I'd rather counter first then be the one to initiate, Officer." She waves the piece at me, "Besides, I've heard so much about you, I want to see you show it."

We'll see about that, I grin proudly. Even in this rut, I can't decline a game.

Setting up the pieces, I take a moment to start the clock. Five minutes each, much smaller time window then the ten Odin and I play. Nevertheless, I like to take on more difficulty, if mother is boasting about me then it would be amiss to fall short of her expectations.

My first opening move is unlike me. I can tell this is a game where she will use to determine any future match ups. Thus, I go for one of the most unconventional moves. A knight guards a pawn, keeping its head reared towards the middle. Upon placing him, Strasser clicks her button, letting her clock begin and mine stop five seconds in.

She does take time to comment on this one, "King's Knight? I didn't expect you to be so bold with this?"

Her king's pawn goes forward. Textbook.

"Of course," I quickly move a pawn to meet her first one, ending my turn in a mere two seconds, "The game's on."

Her king's bishop charges forward, keeping the pawn from becoming a pointless martyr. Two seconds as well.

"So, it would seem."

One big flurry of moves pass through. Putting up the walls and fortifications for a grand battle, neither one of us take a piece, simply threatening one and supporting it with a potential trade off. Roughly one minute in for both of us, with her with a spare twenty, I can't help to dislike how the battlefield formed. A rare day to be nervous and anxious over my next move, exciting me to no end.

The lines resemble more of an interlocked system of pawns, knights, and bishops centered around two central points. Side by side pawns keeping down the four middle tiles, facing over her two competing pieces. Not ideal, not devastating and very constraining on the rest of my pieces. This did have a silver lining, as my advantage in this situation is knowing when to pull the trigger on the deathtrap.

I mirrored her set up, zigzagging my pawns like trenches from the First Great War. It did a good job keeping her left side tied down, yet it also left me in a precarious situation. Seeing she hasn't changed her expression this whole game, holding this smug grin the entire time while always returning to meeting my gaze, I realize there's no way I can read her thoughts. Its all in the game or all for nothing.

Her allowing me this far without an exchange shows she's either cocky or she is a pure counter – using time to push her opponent to make rash moves.

After another quick back and forth of turns, she capitalizes on a cleared backline, having moved her queen towards the middle to shift the balance. A clear diversion, I see her castling the king away on my right-hand side, trapped behind a line of pawns with a rook by his side. Having not moved my own king, I devised a tricky plan for the only piece not stuck in the now impossible web in the middle – my queen.

I took too long to think about it with only tree minutes left compared to her extra thirty seconds. I narrow down my options to two possibilities. Pull the trig and risk her grinding me to dust, but still have enough time to move my king around until the timer ends. Or, go for the braver route, gamble on a queen strike at the heart of her garrisoned king.

Instead, I mold the plans together. Nervously aware of the timer, I see my limit – two minutes.

Meeting her gaze one more time, we have a moment. She must see I have figured something out since her grin falters a little. I don't know how much I've telegraphed my thoughts through my expression, but I know I have to take my chance now.

Activating the middle, I sacrifice the first pawn I had ever moved forward. Forcing him to draw the first blood and take the pawn standing in front of the looming black queen. Strasser's fingers dance as pieces are taken across the middle. A black bishop quickly swallows him whole, then my knight, then her queen standing atop the onslaught.

Letting the bloodshed occur, I throw a bishop across the board. Situating itself right in front of the pawn line guarding her king. One minute and a half.

This gives her pause, having two minutes and a half left on her side. She stops and contemplates with a hand cupping her mouth. Lilac eyes analyze heavily, landing around at the bloodshed to the largely underdeveloped left backline. Not like I had a choice or ability to do anything. Either way, I had to restrain myself from grinning when she takes the bishop with the pawn.

I quietly take my last remaining knight away, the one I began this battle with. Pushing him to the right-hand side of the board, Strasser's next move takes even longer. I take this moment and assess the damage.

I lost the war on the left, the front collapsing upon itself. Only really the rook and its trapped pawn remained, with the queen's pawn really being the only dot in a carefully maintained trap. Her pieces work to converge on the remaining pawn. And if she moved one specific piece, my plan falls apart and I would have to resort to cowardly measures. Not a good impression on someone who stands to have a real chance against me.

She moves her pieces further towards my king, moving around the queen's pawn. The trap worked.

"Check."

Strasser, for the first time in our first match, loses her grin. I thrown my queen in direct line of the king.

Having no pieces to intercept him, her own queen to busy moving to take out the remaining pawn on my destroyed left flank, is forced to move her king into the corner. With utter pride, I move my knight over to guard the abandoned pawn. Wanting to draw my knight away, she takes the last pawn. Hoping its death would unravel what's making it difficult for me to stop grinning.

"Checkmate."

Pushing my queen forward, it arrives diagonal to the king – my knight supporting her – with Strasser's monarch no where to go.

With her smug grin long since gone, she only glances at the time left. I had thirty seconds left. She had a minute. As if slowly accepting her defeat, she studies the board and the checkmate. Then giving me one more smile. A rueful and yet respectful twinkle in her eye. She reaches a hand over the table, seeking to shake.

"Excellent game, Officer," her response is quiet, "You went beyond my expectations."

"Thank you, Strasser." I close my eyes and bow my head, accepting her handshake, "I'm glad to have faced you. This was enlightening."

"It was." She smacks her lips, rising up, "I can see you live up to your reputation. Hopefully, grounds for a future game?"

"I would be more then glad, and I can clean up the board, I want to look at it one more time."

She tsks mockingly sighing with fake indignance, "Quite prideful. Go ahead, bask in your glory, Officer."

"Call it petty, rich coming from the loser."

"Hmph," she raises her head, impressed and/or surprised by my comment, I can see both. She shakes her head and giggles, "Good evening, Officer. And I hope we can play again tomorrow."

"Certainly."

She leaves, not before seeing the board one more time and grabbing her cane. Watching her go through the office door, I sit back down. Somewhat exhausted yet relieved by the end of the game. Strasser had me on edge, and I hate to admit it, this is the closet to losing. With a victory like this, the opposite went against the usual. I'm more tired now then I was prior to the game.

Picking up the pieces, I begin with the knight who enabled my queen our victory. Picking up the little monarch, I remember what I said to Graf Zeppelin on that fateful day where I have come to finally understand her.

Even when I won, I'm left feeling hollow from what was a hard-earned victory.

"All of you are my queen pieces," I ramble out loud, pausing only to hold the pieces together, "You're important to me…"

I put the pieces away, cleaned up out game and closed down the office for the night.

I need…I need something.

Stopping near the girls' dorms, I pause in time to see Strasser enter inside. Backing behind a corner, I wait for her to open the door. Standing still for a few minutes, I watch it shut close before I make my next move, a voice whisper behind me. Whipping my head around, I find Friedrich with her arms folded.

"Rene."

"Uh, mother." I gulp, "Good to see you."

She cups her hand around my chin and peeks at my eyes, "Weber, you haven't been sleeping again. Mainz told me you drank more than usual this morning."

"Yeah, yeah," I don't fight it, at this point, I accept getting manhandled, at least this time by someone I trust, "Rough morning. No sleep again."

"I see," she lets go, "And last night, it didn't go well?"

"No…I don't know, she said she's forgiven me, and it still doesn't feel like things are better."

"Hmm, from what I've seen, let them be," she smiles warmly, "She may be isolating herself. And I don't agree with it, but its her way to heal after yesterday. Even Strasser needs her space. You've seen it."

"I have…" I nod, "I don't know, mother. I don't know if that's the issue right now."

"I can see it, my child," she holds both my hands, "Your nightmares, they're getting worse. The stress is taking its toll on your body."

"Yeah," I don't meet her gaze, afraid of what I'll see, "I'll be fine, mother. Honest."

She lets one hand go, holding my chin up. Worry pouring from her, "I'll ask once and leave you be, are you okay, my child?"

I back away and lower my head, yet, still holding at least one of her hands.

"…no. I'm not. I keep getting reminded of before. Whether it is being directly told about my past or seeing similarities, I can't help it."

I finally meet my gaze with her, showing her my hollowness, "Chess, I don't feel it anymore. I played it with Strasser today and even the fleeting feeling of enjoyment is gone from that. It feels so pointless…"

"Not even work gets my mind off it, I keep sleeping and remembering and when I go about my day…its like I'm waiting for the night to come."

The sun is falling for the night. Sneaking itself behind the horizon, I give one prolonged sigh, "Maybe, I need more sleep. I think I'm heading to bed early."

Friedrich, for her care, holds me hands softly. Then she eases me into a hug, letting me hang tensely until I reluctantly hold her closer. She takes great care in rubbing my back. Pain, I didn't know I had, suddenly flares up back there. Yet her gentle massage melts it away, lowering my guard in her presence.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight? To guard you against your nightmares?"

I think about it. I want to say yes.

I don't want to wake up alone in the dark. Thinking about what that same rainy day. Being dragged around and seeing the face of someone who trusted me.

Someone I failed.

It made me think of Friedrich. Of Mainz. Of Odin. People who placed their trust in me.

They're here for me, but why am I failing on being there for them?

The sharp pain that resurfaced on my back, in my throat, returns.

I back away violently. Hurt mixed in with surprise plastered on Friedrich. Seeing her look at me like that just worsens my hollow feeling.

I shake my head, mumbling words making sense coming out of my mouth, "N-no. I'm going to be okay. I'll be okay. Its fine. Don't worry about me, mother. I-I'm going now. Bye."

"My child?"

She calls out to me but I'm already speed walking to my home. Shaking my head continuously.

Heading back home to my dorm, I slam open my home to an empty building. Locking the door behind me. It is cold, a given in this weather, I head into the living room. Throwing off my cap and jacket, barely unbutton my shirt and half-pulling my tie. Reaching behind my back, I touch the throbbing muscles and the spots itching terribly. Chalking it up to sitting down and moving around too much, I think hard on heading towards a certain 'room'.

I grab the key from the picture in my bedroom. Moving forward, I use it to open up the door I usually ignored at the end of the hallway. Turning on the lights, I land my eyes on the blue tarp in the middle of the room. Ignoring the obvious bulge hidden underneath, I head straight for the cabinet with dust gathering over its handles and empty surface. Using the very same key, I unlock the cabinet door.

Pulling out the multitude of oil bottles and cans of miscellaneous tools, I throw them to the floor. The fatigue from today taking its toll on the pain on my back and the empty feeling forming. Playing chess was fun, and still, I can't help but feel a weight holding my shoulders down. Finally digging deep into the cabinet, I reach to the very back. Prying out a wood plank.

Crouching down, I poke my head through. Seeing the glimmer of a glass container brown liquid.

I think about today. The stress, the morning, another day of more cold sweats. I reach a hand inside and stop. Remembering who I have here. Friedrich, Mainz, Odin. All the other girls I've grown used to on this base. Graf Zeppelin.

I sit back and half-heartedly throw everything back in. Not bothering with the plank, I used to hide the alcohol.

I can't drink right now. I can't. I shouldn't. I promised.

Instead, I hold my head.