1.
Levi sank into the bath, groaning softly and the scalding water. Steam rose in slow lazy spirals around him, but it was a peaceful steam. Nothing like the burning titan steam that haunted his dreams. This was cleansing steam, calm. He dunked his head under the water, feeling the grime and blood wash away. Ugh. Finally. Levi Squad never let him hear the end of his preference for cleanliness (perhaps because they were all so damn messy), but Levi didn't give a fuck. Cleanliness was predictable. Orderly. When they spent so much of their lives in utter chaos, Levi felt justified in wanting a little bit of predictability. He scrubbed his body methodically, hissing a little when the hot water touched the various cuts that covered his body. The titans hadn't gotten close to touching him today; he was too fast for that, but he always got a fair amount of scrapes when they conducted operations in the forests within Wall Maria. His team had done admirably today, even the newest addition of Petra. Levi had been hesitant to add her, but she had quickly proven herself worthy. Levi Squad had an easy trust had an easy trust in one another now, and it showed itself on operations. They were utterly lethal, able to move and communicate seamlessly. It was dangerous, of course, to trust each other. Dangerous to care about anyone but himself, dangerous to put his own life in anyone's hands besides his. But, on the short list of people Levi trusted, his team was there. Along with Erwin Smith, and, somewhat to his surprise, Hange Zoë. His like for her was a separate issue, but he did trust her. Even if she was crazy. He could hear her now through the thin walls, screeching over some titan hair she'd manage to snag on their operation. They were stationed in Trost now, waiting for the inevitable reappearance of the Colossal Titan. Levi's unit and Hange's, all cloistered together in the same run down inn. Erwin showed his face occasionally of course, but only for a few days at a time. He was strict about splitting his time amongst all of his units.
Levi rose from his bath, having cleansed himself to his satisfaction. It was different, being a scout nowadays. Their main objective now was finding out how to retake Wall Maria, or at least secure some sort of stronghold from which to conduct operations beyond Wall Rose. A sham of what they should be. "If I cut it, will it regenerate itself?" Hange's excited yell echoed through the inn, and Levi rolled his eyes. Too many people shoved together here. Thankfully, he had his own room. He thought he'd rather spend a night with the titans than share a room with Hange. His room was…comfortable, if a bit dusty for his taste. A small wooden wardrobe, in which his military uniforms hung neatly. A bed, made to perfection, with scratchy grey sheets and a blanket that didn't do shit to keep him warm. And a small desk, on which his load of paperwork sat, flickering faintly in the candlelight. I'll get to that tomorrow, Levi thought wearily, pulling on the thin shorts he always slept in. He collapsed into bed, falling asleep almost immediately. It was a restless sleep though, as it always was after an operation. It was the adrenaline, he supposed.
Levi awoke panting, his heart pounding. It had been a good dream, though most of the details were lost to him upon waking up. A woman whose face he couldn't remember, touching him, needing him, wanting him to plunge himself deep insider her…fuck. Levi hated dreams like this. He was no stranger to sex, of course, but found that any time he thought to seek it out, he was plagued with memories of his mother and what she'd had to do to keep the both of them alive in the underground. He couldn't…no, he wouldn't let himself give a similar burden to a woman. Or to let a child, his child, be born into a world where they could be fucking eaten if the Colossal Titan decided to show its ugly face again. And that wasn't even considering that to sleep with someone, Levi would have to trust them. But still, he couldn't deny wanting…something. Tch. I sound like a teenage girl, he thought disapprovingly. Levi couldn't afford to want anything. Killing titans, avenging the dead, protecting the living…those were his responsibilities. Even so, he could feel himself, straining against his sleep shorts, twitching, begging to be touched. Feeling only the slightest bit of guilt, Levi stroked himself, clenching his jaw hard to keep quiet when he came.
He forgot about his mountain of paperwork until the next evening, lost in the activities of the day. Hange's titan hair did in face regenerate when she cut it, even when it wasn't attached to the host. Levi was just as disgusted by that fact as Hange was fascinated. By the time Levi was finally alone again and saw the paperwork sitting on his desk, he was exhausted, but Erwin would expect it to be done. Sighing, he swept it neatly into his leather bag, changed into civilian clothes, and tied a heavy black cloak around himself. It wasn't cold, but he rarely went anywhere without his ODM gear these days, and the cloak concealed it. Levi trudged to the stables and mounted his horse, miraculously avoiding running into anyone else along the way. Good. He didn't want to be disturbed on this night. He rode into Wall Rose, immediately feeling more at ease. Everything was too close together in Trost; it reminded him of the underground. It made their ODM gear more efficient of course, but the buildings also obscured any potential enemies. Here, it was countryside. Wide open, with small clusters of trees dotting the landscape here and there, and a river snaking through the hills. The stars were out in full force tonight, something Levi was still getting used to after so many years in the underground. He wasn't sure where exactly he was headed, but figured he'd know when he saw it. Sure enough, within a few moments, he ran into a small town. It wasn't big, but big enough that they boasted a tavern. A small wooden building, a little rundown, but it would serve his purposes for the evening. The tavern had a small stable attached to it, so Levi placed his mare inside. There were a few others to keep her company, and he fed her a small apple that he kept in the saddlebags. She whinnied happily and seemed at peace, which immediately set Levi at ease. Always trust a horse to scent danger; they were less trusting than even he was. Feeling slightly jealous of his horse's apparent contentment, Levi made his way to the tavern. It was warm inside, with a small fire crackling merrily in the grate. There was a small bar with a door behind the counter that must connect to the kitchen. A few tables strewn about, and booths ringing the walls. It was clean too, he noted with some relief. He catalogued every patron first thing, committing them to memory. A habit from the Scout Regiment, but a useful one. Three men by the bar, mostly drunk and fairly rowdy. A barmaid, shorter even than Levi, with her back to him and her hair tied up in a long brown braid. Two couples, sitting in a corner conversing quietly. Some kitchen staff in the back, judging by the yells he could hear over the guests in the main dining room. Two exits, the door Levi had just walked through, and one he could just barely see back in the kitchen. Yes, this would do nicely. Levi took a seat at an empty booth closest to the door in case a quick exit was needed, and began pulling his paperwork out of his bag. It was tedious nonsense mostly, but Erwin was excellent at leveraging their scouting reports for more funds, so Levi turned the paperwork in when it was expected each week. He was almost ready to begin working when he heard footsteps coming towards him; glancing up, he saw that the barmaid was making her way to the table, notepad and pencil in hand. Her appearance was something of a shock, but Levi remained expressionless, as he always did. She was pretty, with pale skin and a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks. One warm brown eye, with the other rendered permanently closed by a nasty scar that ran down the length of her face, from forehead to chin. Levi was so used to horrible injuries that this didn't phase him, but he did wonder how she'd gotten it. It didn't look like a titan wound, too precise for that. Human, then. "Can I get you anything?" she asked, her eye glancing curiously at his paperwork. Levi ordered a cup of tea, and she returned shortly with a small teapot and cup, as well as a loaf of bread, which she sat in front of him with a grin. "In case you get hungry," she explained, shrugging. "Thank you," he said quietly, surprised to find that he was, in fact, hungry. Levi stayed until he was done with all of his work, half listening to the conversations from the other tavern guests, half paying attention to what he was writing. It was unusual, hearing people talk about things that weren't related to titans. Naive of them, perhaps, but refreshing to his own ears. One of the drunk men had a wife who was pregnant—"again"—and the man seemed more annoyed than happy. Which probably made sense, given the food shortage. The couples in the corner were playing some sort of card game that Levi had seen Gunter and Eld play before, though he'd never partaken himself. The barmaid darted around, serving everyone, refusing persistent advances from all three of the drunk men. Marriage, apparently, didn't stop them from hitting on her. By the time Levi finished his work, he was the last guest remaining. He cleared his things away, and the barmaid came to take his used dishes. She didn't speak, and neither did he, but it wasn't an uneasy silence. On the ride back to Trost, Levi's thoughts wandered back to her scar. He thought his first assessment of the wound was correct; it definitely wasn't a titan wound. He'd gotten a closer look at it when she'd come to clear his dishes, and it was a straight, neat line, right down the left side of her face. Exactly like a wound a knife would make. A deliberate knife wound at that.
It became a regular habit of Levi's. One night a week, he'd change into civilian clothes and ride to the tavern within Wall Rose. There was always a warm cup of tea and a loaf of bread waiting for him, placed at the same table he'd sat at on his very first visit. It was peaceful, somewhat, to just be a person. None of the patrons at the tavern recognized him—nobody tended to associate "humanity's greatest weapon" or whatever the fuck people were calling him nowadays with a short man in casual clothes. They expected someone like Erwin, strong and authoritative, brilliant and commanding. Levi preferred it this way, the anonymity. Here, he was just a regular guest who came in once a week. No expectations, no lives on the line. Levi hadn't realized that this sort of peace was something he needed until he had found it. A few weeks after his first visit to the tavern, Levi found himself sitting at his regular table, writing out a report on their most recent expedition. Four deaths this week; not bad, but Levi remembered each of their names nonetheless. They had also manage to secure another test subject for Hange. She was keeping it in their old HQ within Wall Rose to experiment on; a four-meter this time. Erwin wouldn't allow her to capture anything larger than seven meters, in the off-chance it broke free of its confinements. It made Levi's paperwork more complicated, at any rate. He was detailing precisely how they'd managed to secure the titan and bring it within the walls when the barmaid slid into the bench across from him, a slightly urgent look in her eye. She scooted as far into the booth as she could, effectively hiding herself from view from the rest of the tavern. Levi, as ever, kept his expression neutral, but surveyed the rest of the tavern discreetly. He found the source of the barmaid's discomfort instantly; the three drunks that had been here the first time Levi had visited were laughing and calling out for her, suggesting a whole manner of things she could do for them. Levi glanced at her, and she shook her head. "Just too much to drink," she said quietly. "It's okay,"
Levi raised an eyebrow. "Is it?" "Yes," she said, sounding determined. "I can handle it." "By avoiding them?" he asked, knowing he'd guessed correctly when she frowned at him. "Better avoid than escalate it," she said, her hand absentmindedly brushing her scar. So it had been a deliberate wound. "Do as you feel best," Levi said, meaning it. Even if he disagreed—one swift kick from him, or perhaps a few, and they'd never bother her again. She sighed. "They'll leave eventually. They always do." "That's true enough," Levi said. He'd seen it enough in the underground. Men who harassed the women the most never stuck around long enough to see how they actually affected those around them. "You think I should stand up to them?" she said, an edge of defiance in her tone. "Yes," said Levi. "Or, that's what I'd do. That doesn't make it the right choice though." "Mm," she said. "And you're a fighter, that's clear enough." "Ha," Levi said, leaning back and crossing his arms to get a better look at her. "Am I?" She nodded. "And how can you tell?" he asked, curious now. "Well, apart from the fact that you sit here every week filling out military paperwork—" "Tch—" Levi began, rolling his eyes, but she interrupted him. "It's the way you stand. You walk in here and stand like you know you could overpower anyone in this room, and I don't doubt that you could," she said, gesturing to the men in the corner. They were still calling for her to serve them topless. "Well," Levi said, "You're a good observer, I'll give you that." "So I'm right then?" She asked, toying with the end of her braid. It was attractive, her hair. They way it moved was entrancing. "Yes," he said simply. "You are correct." "Hmm. I thought so." "And how did you decide this would be a safe place to hid from them?" Levi asked, his eyes still following the movement of her braid, "You wouldn't hurt me," she said, sounding sure of herself. "Oh? And how did you come to that conclusion?" Levi felt surprised. She'd pegged him accurately enough. Perhaps he wasn't as good at remaining anonymous as he thought he was. She shrugged. "An assumption, but I believe I'm right." "You are," Levi said. She nodded. "Yes. I thought as much. So, is it just a poor, defenseless woman you wouldn't beat up? There was a wry smile playing at her mouth. She was…teasing him. Levi snorted. "I think you're anything but defenseless." "Ah, I have my ways, but I'm not much of a fighter, physically." "Mentally, then," said Levi. She grinned again, a flash of white teeth. "Yes." Levi thought of Erwin. His greatest strength wasn't in his ability to physically overpower others, although he easily could. No, it was his ability to lead, to be shrewd, to use that brilliant mind of his to outsmart anyone and anything around him. The men who had been heckling the barmaid staggered loudly out the door, still calling out for her to serve them. "Ah," she said, slumping slightly in relief. "Do they do that often?" Levi asked, already knowing the answer. "It's something I deal with occasionally," she said. "It's…I find ways to get away from them if I need to. Levi couldn't figure out how to respond to this, He was torn between wanting to let her handle her own problems, as she clearly yearned to do, and his fierce desire to follow the men home and discipline them in his own, more painful way. She reached out and placed her hand on top of his arm. Levi just barely managed to conceal his surprise at this, but kept his arm still beneath hers. They were cold, her hands. "Thank you," she said, squeezing his arm gently. Levi nodded shortly. "No need to thank me." Her lips quirked upward in a smile. "It's Rachel, by the way,"
"Levi," he responded, forgetting entirely his desire to remain anonymous. She didn't react to this tidbit of information beyond a nod anyways, which Levi found oddly comforting. He stayed until the tavern was empty, acutely aware of the movements of the other guests in the tavern in case she needed a brief escape again. But the rest of the evening was uneventful, calm. To his annoyance, Levi could barely concentrate on finishing his work. No, his mind seemed to be unable to focus on anything besides whether the barmaid's—Rachel's—hair was as soft as it looked. Stupid. Unimportant. When she flipped the sign on the door from open to closed, he began to gather his completed paperwork. The men who had harassed her should be long gone now, so there was no danger around. Yet, Levi knew he was hesitating. Stupid. "Thank you," Rachel said, coming to stand before him. It was strange, to be taller than someone for once, even if it was by half an inch. It threw Levi off; he liked the advantage that being small gave him. He was easily underestimated. "You said that already," Levi breathed. She stood closer to him than people usually did. "I wanted to make sure the message sunk in," she said. "Ah," replied Levi. "It did." He gave a half smile, which was half a smile more than he gave to anyone, really. "Good," Rachel said, turning away. Levi took this as his cue to leave, so he did, still somewhat caught off guard by her. People were rarely so…comfortable around him. Levi wasn't sure how he felt about her apparent lack of self-preservation around him. He liked having an edge, an air of intimidation around him. Trouble was, Rachel recognized him as a threat, and had still decided he was the safest option to shield her when she'd needed it.