Chapter 3
Night had descended on an old gothic castle, located on the outskirts of Transylvania; it is surrounded by a dense, haunted forest, tall mountains, the land of the undead, and a foggy moat full of piranhas, making it totally secluded from the rest of the world and inaccessible to humans. Hearse-taxis drove down a stone bridge and up to the front entrance, zombie bellhops carrying in guest's luggage, and inside a grand lobby monsters socialized among one another. Descending from the upper right staircase was the owner of this castle, the most handsome and famous vampire the monsters have ever known – Count Dracula.
"Welcome to Hotel Transylvania!" he announced loudly in a proud voice.
The Day of the Dead Mariachi band began to play a lively tune as the Count walked down the red carpet, handing out itineraries to the passing guests.
"Human-Free since 1898. You're safest destination. Take an itinerary. I have personally designed a spectacular schedule of events, all leading to my good friend Frankenstein's wedding extravaganza in two days."
"We always look forward to coming every year, Count," said a smiling gremlin as he held his wife, "We enjoy the safety so much."
"Of course." Dracula shrugged with a smile. "That's why we built it." He handed a few more itineraries to a few more guests. "Yes, good evening." A pale Gillman spoke in strange gibberish language to which only the Count could understand. "Thank you, Marty. You look pale as well."
Just then, a suit of armor guard came running up to him. "Sir, sir, sir! We have an urgent plumbing issue."
"Plumbing? On it. Mr. Ghouligan!"
A zombie janitor staggered towards his boss.
"There is a clogged toilet in room 348," the armor continued.
Bigfoot gave a low growl in apology as the vampire looked up at him.
It's okay, we all get stomach aches, Mr. Bigfoot," Dracula assured him.
Mr. Ghouligan made a groaning noise as he looked at his toilet plunger.
At that time, a whole pack of werewolf puppies came storming in and began to wreak havoc in the lobby; running over guests, jumping up and down on the organ, and urinating on the furniture.
"Hey kids, reel it in! You're only supposed to make mom and dad miserable," Wayne the werewolf said as he and his wife Wanda, who is now pregnant with another litter, came in.
One of them was gnawing on the end of Dracula's cape when he picked up his cape while the pup still held on. "Now, now is that anyway to behave? This is a hotel not a cemetery," he said gently.
"Sorry, Uncle Drac," the pup said with the cape still in his jaws before letting go and scampered off toward his siblings.
"Drac, how are you?" Wayne greeted the Count as he and wife came over.
"Wayne, my old friend," Dracula happily said as he wrapped his arm around the Wolman's shoulders.
"Couldn't wait for this weekend, always great to get out of the shadows for a couple of days."
"The family looks beautiful. Let me just clean up their filth."
Wayne and Wanda's face dropped the moment Dracula said this.
"HOUSEKEEPING!"
Just then, witches came out of broomstick and proceeded to clean up the mess they pups made of the lobby. Meanwhile, the pups knocked over one of zombie bellhops causing him to drop one of the large packages being carried in. The box opened on impact sending Frankenstein's head bouncing out only to be caught by Dracula.
"Frankie my boy, look at you still traveling by mail, Mr. Cheap-o, huh?" Dracula greeted.
"It's not a money thing I have a train phobia, okay, I mean, at any moment now that engine could catch-"
"Fire! Yeah-yeah, 'Fire bad', we know," Wayne said, cutting Frank off.
Dracula glanced over to the bellhops trying to put together the rest of Frank, which is not going very well. The vampire handed over Frank's head to Wayne then rushed off to the pair of zombies assembling the rest of Frank's body.
"Augustus! Porridge head! Come on! Does that look like Frankenstein's head?" Dracula shouted, not noticing his cape moving on its own.
Wayne walked forward a couple of steps, "Hey Drac buddy, what's going on with your cape there?"
"What do you mean-AH! Who pinched me?" He exclaimed as he jumped before turning around.
"Guilty, you're irresistible," Griffin, the invisible man said, the only thing noticeable was a pair of brown half-rimmed glasses.
"Yes, very amusing, Invisible man hello, great to 'see' you," Dracula sarcastically said, causing him and the boys to laugh.
"Ahh, never gets old," Griffin took off his glasses, folded them, and smacked Dracula across the face.
Dracula stopped laughing and tried to take a swipe at his friend.
"Missed me," Griffin said before punching him in the stomach. The vampire tried a few more times but missed each time while hearing, "Miss me, miss me, miss me," in a teasing tone.
"Okay, you win, hold this bacon." Dracula slyly handed him the slice of bacon.
"Why am I holding bacon-Ahh! Ah-ah! Noo! Get'em off-ouch!" he shouted as the were-pups covered him head to toe, once again the boys laughed.
The laughing stopped and noticed a strong wind with sandy clouds forming everywhere and a large sand dune was piling up at the lobby door.
"Here Comes The Partyyyy!" Murray the mummy said as he slid down the mountain of sand.
"Hello Murray," Dracula said as Murray glided toward him.
"Drac, what's up buddy?" The mummy tried to hug his vampire friend only to miss.
"The sand! Murray, the sand! Always with the sand!" Dracula scolded the hefty mummy.
The wolf pups began to play in the mountain of sand, one of them throwing a sand ball at his brothers really hard.
Murray rushed over to the werewolf couple, "Wolfie, Wanda, Frank!" Murray grabbed Frank's head and roared at his face, Frank roared back, making they both laugh, while Murray hugged Frank's head, "I love this guy, he's always bringing it full tilt, Your looking skinny too, now that you're just a head."
"Oh-ho-ho, okay, you'll pay for that," Frank warned, then a zombie placed his head in his arm socket, he looked a little less than pleased.
"So what's up Drac? Hotel is looking off the hook," Murray said as he walked over to Dracula.
Frank leaned in toward Wayne and Wanda. "Hey guys, watch this," he whispered, then concentrated on his lower half which was currently located at the other side of the lobby and briefly used as a trampoline to two wolf pups before it jumped up and left them. It carefully sneaked over to Murray who was talking to Dracula.
"By the way, you were right about those directions," Murray told him.
"Oh, good. Good." Dracula nodded.
"Yeah. I took the Tigris through the Nile and there was absolutely no traffic."
The lower rear end of Frank appeared behind the mummy and broke wind. Murray's face dropped to a confused but surprised look while Dracula looked anything but amused by the outburst of flatulence.
"You're kidding me, right in my lobby?"
"Drac, I swear man, I-I don't run like that," Murray stuttered and everyone else was trying to hold back their laughter.
"Housekeeping!" Dracula called out.
A witch came zooming out on broomstick, retrieved the odor with a fire bellow, and released it into the fire causing a small explosion in the process.
A female mummy stared at Murray who said, "I was not the cause of that," but she walked off in a huff and Murray just sinks his head down in embarrassment while everyone but Dracula laughed.
A little black spider came down inches from the vampire's face, "We're ready," the arachnid said in a small cheery voice.
Dracula and the others looked up to see a beautiful banner saying, 'Congratulations Frank and Eunice' made entirely out of spider web giving it a silvery finish.
"Oh, if only Martha were here to see this with us," Wanda sighed.
"She's always here Wanda," Dracula said as he made a fist over his heart.
Everyone gathered around as Dracula began his announcement, "Okay friends," he stepped up onto a stool made entirely out of frogs, "I am so glad you are here to celebrate, a very special wedding for my brother, Frankie, and his fiancé Eunice…and another successful year of refuge, from THEM!" He pointed to the nerd-like zombie, who turned on the slideshow projector, and the crowd of monsters gasped in horror as black and white photos of humans displayed before them doing normal things, but everyone seemed to misunderstand it.
"These are recent human images our surveillance has uncovered, they are getting fatter so as to overpower us, and they are wearing less clothing allowing more movement to strangle us, and are cutting open our heads and put candy in them, but they will never find us here. EVIL VILLAIN YOU WILL NEVER WIN!" Dracula shouted the final words out to the slideshow black and white photo of a little boy eating a frosted cupcake.
"Okie-dokie, fun starts in thirty minutes, right now I have to check up on the rest of the hotel," Dracula announced as he walked toward the elevator.
"Oh! Hey, Drac!" Frank called out.
"Yes, Frankie?" Dracula stopped in front of the elevator and turned to face his closest friend.
"We know it hasn't been easy for you living in the hotel all alone. Have you ever thought about meeting someone special?"
Though he dared not show it Dracula did long for some companionship, but he believed he could never love again after what happened to his beloved Martha. He'd be damned if a new woman met the same fate as his late wife. "Thanks, but no thanks, Frankie. I will never meet another woman because no one can replace Martha." He turned back to the elevator.
"You know you're not going to be single forever!" Frank pointed out.
"YES, I WILL!" Dracula roared with a hard stubborn edge, and then returned to his calm demeanor just before the door closed. He would never allow romance into his cold and empty heart again, or so he thought.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Eunice, Frankenstein's fiancé who was still in the box spoke up, "What's going on out there, are we at the hotel?!" She opened the box with one of her long fingernails and her head, held up by her arm, and continued to nag, "Frank, did you book us for a tandem massage? Did you get us a table at Hunchback's? Did you do anything?"
Griffin closed the box and sat on it, "You're welcome."
Eunice's voice was muffled but everyone could tell she was mad. "What's going on?"
"Griffin, that's my fiancé ", said Frank when he saw Griffin on his fiancé's box.
As soon as they got Eunice out of the box, he introduced her to the pack.
"Everyone I would like you to meet my fiancé Eunice", said Frank
"These are my friends, Griffin, Wanda, Wayne, and Murray", said Frank
"Hello,everyone ", said Eunice
"Welcome Eunice ",said Griffin,Wanda,Wayne, and Murray.