A/N — this morning the five-year-old set up her toy nativity under our Elves and asked the Elves to take a picture and show Jesus so she would be on the nice list. I do love this time of year, lol. xoxo — kals

A/N2 — warning for language.

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Name: Lost in Translation

Setting: Post-season 5; generally canon

Prompt: "We're not here to f*ck spiders." Wolf said as he rolls up his sleeves. (The phrase 'we're not here to f*ck spiders' is an Australian phrase, it basically means 'I'm here to do a job and get it done, so let's go'.)

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"Well, we're not here to fuck spiders." Wolf said, rolling up his sleeves, and grabbing a blade scrapper.

Behind him, Miller began sputtering. "I would never, I mean, how would that, I mean...do people do that?"

"Do what?" Wolf replied, indifferent to whatever bug Miller had up his butt. After all, Rick was the idiot who bought a house that needed to be completely gutted while his wife was pregnant. Worse, he refused to use Courtney's trust fund to do any of the work, resulting in Wolf being here scraping wallpaper on a Saturday afternoon when he would much rather have been doing pretty much anything else. "If you don't want to scrape, grab the mop and a bucket. That will help."

Rick scurried away and Wolf got back to the task of attempting to remove the ugly-ass wallpaper that seemed to have been superglued to the walls. Even worse than the wallpaper itself, at some point somebody had painted over the stuff, leaving them with a crumbling mess of uneven walls, random spots of dark blue flowers, and loose plaster. Still, Courtney had decreed this room was the nursery so the plan was to strip and replaster the walls, refinish the hardwood floor, and add paintings of teddy bears. Even Kara looked taken aback at the last part but, as Green wisely noted after his wife departed to take Courtney furniture shopping, arguing with a pregnant woman was like signing your death warrant.

If Courtney wanted teddy bears, she would get teddy bears.

"What's this I hear about spiders?" Sasha asked, appearing at Wolf's side, mop in hand.

Wolf cursed as he scrapped his knuckles across the plaster. Again. "Does this place have spiders?"

"It is Florida," Sasha replied with a shrug. "They all do. Rick thought you found a nest though. Something about fucking spiders?"

"What?" Wolf paused, then began chuckling, then laughing outright. "I said we're not here to fuck spiders. It means..."

"Get to work," Sasha interrupted. She shook her head, lips pursing, before huffing out a sigh. "Miller. I assume you wanted the water for the walls then? Not to drown arachnids?"

Wolf smirked. "We're not here to fuck spiders, Cooper."