While you still participated in the investigation concerning the conspiracies of titans inside the walls. you still kept on tending to Erwin throughout the month he was unconscious. When he finally opened his eyes, it took him a day until he could talk again; during that period, he only kept following you in the eyes as you fixed him up as well as his bed. When he can finally get up and talk, he immediately summoned Pixis and Levi, and later on Hange. Considering how awful the turn of events went, you looked dead all throughout. Checking up on Erwin was the only thing that kept you sane.

The door finally creaked open, signifying that the talk was over. Levi turned to you as he walked. "Hey, 'Win's doll."

"I told you to drop that distasteful nickname,"

"Go tend that man now. Check his head while you're at it."

"Why?"

"He ended up smiling when we told him everything."

"Including what happened in Ragako?"

"That's where he actually beamed."

You almost let out a laugh but shook your head instead. When you're about to enter the room, Levi deadpanned, "Never thought a time would come when you'd go down bad on that man."

"Huh?"

"Good luck on that." He shrugged you away. With crunched eyebrows, you opened the door and enter.

"What happened?" Erwin inquired as soon as you closed the door.

"Nothing. Just Levi blabbering again." You didn't give him a stare and just minded your business on cleaning stuff in his room. After a while, he spoke again. "Pyxis ranted on how his personal aide was confiscating his alcohol all the time. Her composure was almost the same as yours that I ended up commending her for a job well done."

"Glad to know my benevolence keeps you haunted even in crucial meetings." You replied nonchalantly, still not turning to him. "I'll be sure to befriend her since I need tips on how to hold our reckless commanders down."

Erwin let out a sneer, "I'm having a hard time adjusting my bandage. Can you give me a hand?"

"Really? The nurse just told me they already fixed it this morning." You went towards him to check it yourself, scooting down until your faces were on the same level. "It seems fine. In what part do I need to adjust?"

"Nothing. I'm actually lying."

You shot him a dead stare and he remained looking at you innocently, blinking a few times. And as you looked closely, he almost looked smiling. "Levi told me you're in a creepily good mood right now, and as much as I want to entertain you, just call on the nurse if you need something. I need to follow them after a while."

But before you could even take a step, he called your name, "Quit the Survey Corps and go back to the Military Police." That froze you. You looked at him in disbelief and waited for a while if he'll add more, like mission-related matters or whatnot. But he didn't. He just fixed his stare on you the same. "I don't think I understand your command." You replied.

"The cards I have against you had lapsed a long time ago, there'd be no one to stop you from going back to your normal life now. Take the opportunity and leave this regiment."

"Is that all?" You genuinely inquired. "Really? What exactly your rationale was?"

"You've changed. You're not useful here anymore and I'm giving you the chance to quit before you pathetically die outside the walls."

You're not entirely sure where's he coming from but you never thought Levi was serious when he asked you to check on his head. Still, you stay composed. "I don't think I'd come into terms with that if you won't give me a proper basis. If you'll just blabber opinions on me then we should just save this talk for the next time."

"As much as I loathe having to reiterate this every single time, I told you before when I took you back under my direct command that you stay angry with me until you see for yourself the things beyond the walls which made our lives like this. Looking at you now, however, I don't think that's the case anymore. You let several soldiers die while keeping me alive, so much for swearing to protect them instead of me. And as they get brutally eaten, you told me how you swore to yourself that you'd bring me back." The disdain in your face was quickly replaced with sheer shock. And the way he let that out very flatly almost broke your pride. "I'm not gonna feign ignorance about this and I must confront you before it's too late. You're not seeing me as someone you still hate, do you? You're not seeing me as your mere commander whose orders needed to be followed and nothing more. You're seeing me beyond that."

Despite the way your body froze badly on that, there's no apparent reason to deny such a truth. What he's trying to say was also something you finally realized throughout the days you were tending to him. And now, as awful as he sounded, you'll admit to it just like how you do all the time. "Commander," You stated firmly. "What I expected of you upon this matter is that you'd heed it no mind. I wonder why you're letting something as trivial as this take over you, your professionalism at that, and using it as a foolish basis to ask me to leave. I beg you to spare me of such an unnecessary talk." You tried getting up again to go out for good but Erwin held your hand down, albeit weakly.

He called your name tiredly. "You're not a doll of mine like people claim you to be. Even if I once became greedy enough to recognize you as one, it can never be true. You don't have any reason for staying anymore. And the Scout's mission was just a secondary thing for you, even until now as we speak." He withdrew his hold from your hand and averted his gaze towards the window. "So suck it up and leave this regiment now, along with these silly feelings of yours."

Just like that, all the patience you have for today ran dry. You pushed him to the bed hardly, not minding the painful groan that elicited out of him. You were angry, very much so. Every inch of your consciousness believed you were. But when you saw Erwin flash a face of surprise as hot droplets of your tears pour on his face pathetically, you realized this isn't just anger. You have always been seething with anguish during confrontations, but now you're terribly crumbling before this very man – looking so scared, lost, weak, and all the things contrary to what you seemed to be.

"I can't believe I actually need to explain such a foolish thing," You grit your teeth and choked on your tears harder. "I don't know what came to me and you have no idea how bad I wanted this out of my system but I just don't have any idea how. As we talk my mind's still coming up with ways. So stop bothering yourself on this matter. I'll see to it this wouldn't affect my job." Erwin's stare at you didn't falter. Assuming he's still unconvinced, you continued. "Pointing out every trivial matter just so I would go back to where I was before is futile and beyond stupid. The only way I'd leave this regiment, and you along the way, is the time I die a terrible death and you have to suck it up and do what you swore to me; to bring my body back to the walls."

"So, you really do? All I have said was right?" He inquired. It's not as if you could take it back, not when you angrily pushed him down the bed already. Saying yes is also not an option because just why would you do that? What bearing would it give you? So you stayed where you are, looking at him wide-eyed.

Erwin did the same – stilling in his position, not on the mode to berate you on such an imprudent behavior, just staying silent and looking at you as if you're his caught prey. As much as he doesn't like to see you that weak, something throbbed on his head: an utter satisfaction that made him feel disgusted upon realization. You really are holding him with affection. He doesn't aim to own you completely because nothing owns you but the potentially beautiful life he's deprived of you for so long. But when you look this vulnerable to him, when you allow him to see you that broken, a surge of desire to give in to his further selfishness washes him cold. If circumstances were different he would've just brought you to a place far away from here and tied every inch of you to him; just like how he envisioned it whenever his mind attempts to seek imaginary comfort during times of crisis. That is the exact reason why he wants you to quit now; because you already faltered. He doesn't want to do it and doesn't want to be even reminded of it. He doesn't want to recall the fact that he can never claim you like that for the rest of your life, nor take you away from all of this on his own. You are a clear barricade to his resolve and the only right thing to do is to swallow that pent-up desire and move forward, towards his terrible link to death. He must not leave any marks of him to your gentle existence. You are not a devil and you do not deserve to be tied to one.

Still, instead of commanding you to remove yourself from fearlessly trapping him below, Erwin grabbed the back of your hair, gripped it lightly, and pulled it towards him until your foreheads bumped. "You have no idea of what you're doing right now. Stop mindlessly submitting yourself to me and take this order as a good thing. Leave for your own sake."

"The time you brought me under your direct command I've already submitted my life to you, so why are you getting frightened now?"

Erwin closed his eyes and heaved a sigh in an attempt to calm himself down somehow. After that, he just intently studied the detailed features you show before him. When he was able to mark it exactly in his memory, his hand slid from your head to cup your cheeks weakly. For a second, he honestly contemplated just giving in. After all, seeing you beg and weep for his life was definitely his last straw. As much as it's not in his character, he was sure to die at that moment. He was certain that if he had to choose who lives between you two it will definitely be you. The task he gave you, which was to protect him, had lapsed many years ago. It's just an awful excuse to keep you under him until recently. Maybe if he clarified that part properly then things won't turn out like this.

"So you're really gonna be stubborn on his," Despite the unwavering desire to crumble on what his mind was urging him to do, he added. "And when you spurred the bullshit of holding the lives of your comrades with importance and how you don't consider an evil being like me as one of them. You really didn't see me as a comrade because after being dead set on holding me with disdain, you suddenly held me with affection." He releases a low laugh. "How despicable, how poor. Are you sure about this? I'm being generous enough to let you leave but now you're actively choosing on submitting yourself instead." He darkly remarked in amusement. And surely, Erwin was able to notice how your face flinched with that. He's considering if you were angry with what he said or if you're backtracking. He waited for you to show it yourself.

But deep inside you, you're not even in the slightest way annoyed, not even afraid of his intimidating tactics. You're getting sickly at the realization that you're actually admitting to everything he just said hence you weren't able to mutter an answer. And that reaction is something Erwin doesn't need to be told. He was right; you're down bad over him, even worse than your brother ever did. Even if he claims it as something utterly ridiculous and deserving of every mock, the deepest and darkest part of his consciousness was extremely gratified. He was in immense pride at the fact that only he could make you feel like this. He even had a hard time hiding it on his own. Before he ends up doing something you might not be ready for yet, he gently grabbed you away from him, "You're dismissed. Do whatever you ought to do for today."

You sat up and went silent for a while to breathe. After that, you spoke. "Is your order to make me quit still standing?"

No, not anymore. He thought this was one of the few moments he admitted defeat on his bargains. If you keep on not setting your distance then be his guest. He's not a hard one to talk to. He'll have you here for him to consume, just as he wanted to for all those years. You certainly know where you're going and he's more than willing to pave the way, "Yes. But if you'd keep on being the despicable lady that you are then see where it gets you."

You can feel your dignity shattered badly into pieces and it feels very, very awful. Maybe it was for the better if you kept your mouth shut on this matter. You weren't able to respond anymore so you quickly stood up, grabbed your black cloak, and banged the door shut.

What annoyed you the most was the fact that even if he established how pathetic you were, you still found yourself in the solace that he cupped your face so gently. Since when did I become this weak? Isn't this body response way too sudden? But then again, this wouldn't even happen had the security you had with your dynamics wasn't threatened. All this time you were settled on everything as long as you'll stay under his command and you were damn sure if circumstances happen such as the recent expedition, he would make you die. So now that it went a different way you're at loss on how to approach it. And the fact that he confronted you immediately about it, you were too taken aback to act. He used to be so selfish in your eyes so just how would you respond to him doing otherwise? You closed your eyes shut, breathed slowly, covered your head with the hood of your cloak, and by the time you opened it you were flat-faced again.

"Here she is," Keiji remarked as he ushered you towards the hideout where your squad and Levi's squad rest. They all looked immensely sullen when you entered, especially the recruits.

Nifa perked up upon seeing you, "We haven't seen each for a while now. How have you been?"

"Of course, you won't. She's just our squadmate on paper." Keiji deadpanned and Rashad concurred. "Yo, squadmate on paper."

Nifa shook her head, "These guys here always banter that Squad Erwin still exists but you're the only member left."

You let out a small chuckle, "Well, it's not entirely wrong. I'm the only one left alive in the original Squad Erwin years ago."

Moblit then nudged them, "Guys, don't be like that." Then turned to you. "Glad you went here safe. No signs of being tailed?"

"I came from a fixed point then rerouted to different cities just to be sure I won't lure anyone. The lookouts said I'm safe."

"How's the commander?" You almost flinched at the question, "Rough. I didn't take Levi seriously when he said that man lost some screws in his head."

"I thought he's not in a critical condition anymore?" One of the recruits worriedly inquired, yet your gaze stayed sidewards and your face laced with forlorn. Levi examined you for a while then released a sneer, "It's a different kind of screws this time." Hange released a laugh, "Right. His aide right here is immensely sullen."

"You must've been so stressed, handling the worsening logistics but still pulling some strings so our squad could push through with the investigation." Nifa lamented. That was actually the least of your problems.

You cleared your throat and changed the topic, "Have you received my report? Let's strategize now so I can leave quickly. I'm quite notorious among them and we're jam-packed in this place as it is." You dropped your cloak on a wooden chair, "You also have to prepare so you can travel to the new hideout by midnight."

"Can you guys go out first?" Hange pertained to everyone except Levi. "We just need to talk about something." When they all walked out, Hange faced you with lament. "To be honest with you, your role in this was something we just asserted to Erwin. He actually told us you're not needed on this plan, which was strange."

You thought you might have an idea why, "How did you convince him otherwise?"

"It's obvious. Our enemies now are the MPs and you'd be an important asset."

"Also, four eyes actually proposed that you become a Section Commander already. The fourth squad is piled with the investigations and experiments as it is. Having the whole logistics office under them is a burden now."

"But then again, Erwin denied that."

"And even I was weirded out," Levi flatly concurred.

You looked down at the ground and furrowed your brows, "He told me to quit the Scouts."

Hange stood up, "What! When?"

"Just before I came here."

"Ah," Levi muttered. "So he's gonna be like that even after reading the report himself huh," Levi remarked.

"Did he tell you why?" Hange squeezed your hand in comfort.

You nodded, "But the reason's very unlike him. He's being awfully unprofessional."

Levi contemplated on saying something but ended up shaking that thought off instead, "So before we end up having a tea party while talking about his big brows, what if we try to strategize on keeping him alive first?"

You concurred, "So regarding the Military Police First Interior Squad; when I was still a soldier in that regiment, I don't exactly know the particularities aside from the fact that they served a particular nobleman. I had a hunch of who those people were but now that we're investigating it I confirmed I was right. If you read more of the detailed report, I managed to illustrate the structure of the said Squad based on what I know. I don't think it'd change much even after the fall of Wall Maria since they're based in Sheena. Still, we have to be wary of it."

"And apparently you almost became a part of them, right?" Hange inquired.

You nodded. "I didn't include this in the report since I don't think it'd be important anymore but I tried my way out of it. After all, being part of that means leaving my brother." You pondered, "It was quite risky though. Not even ordinary MP soldiers interact with them and if they ever did and got something confidential, it won't be a good call. It's just that I have someone I know there that I was able to get out unscathed."

"And if someone from that squad came across you it won't be a happy tea reunion, isn't it?"

"I quite don't get why you keep on making tea references today but, yeah, obviously.

"Sorry, forgot to buy a stock and I feel like shit." Levi massaged his temples and brushed his hands through his hair, "Maybe include the plan where we seize the enemies by asking them for a tea hangout."

"I told you, Levi. Try knitting instead to humor yourself." Hange lamented. After a while, they faced you very seriously. "You have to stay really, really low if this is the case."

"So here's the strategy at hand: the fourth squad, aside from Nifa and the others that I'll be borrowing, is in charge of gathering intel. All of you will report directly to Erwin." Levi chipped in, "But since you're an important asset and you'll be the one in charge of this, you and Erwin would be the hide and seek partners. That way you could protect him from them if a confrontation happens."

"Erwin will be going to the royal capital for the next few weeks to investigate further regarding the Reiss family. It will be an open appointment though so both of you don't have to hide yet. However, as soon as that finishes, that's when you'll start laying low." Hange added.

"So to sum it up, 'Win's doll, you have to secure that he's in a safe place, and that includes staying wherever he is."

Ah, that would be awful. "Does Erwin know about this already?"

"Yeah, and he was extremely sullen at the idea," Hange said sadly.

"It seems like you're not his favorite doll anymore. Are you sad?"

You ignored Levi's banter, "Is that all?" Hange nodded.

"Okay, bring the kids back now. I'll just unwind for a while then walk back."

Hange called your name, "Hey, you can eat first–" You cut them off by closing the door shut. You signed, sat down just on the corner of the hideout, then curled on your knees. After a while, however, the door creaked open again and you heard Levi calling you by the nickname. You turned your head upwards to stare back, "Need something?"

"You look so fucking terrible,"

The remark made you sigh. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You're about to cry." Well, you're actually not aware of that until he pointed it out. You give him that. "I don't get why are you trying to blabber these out. For what exactly?"

"Just amused on seeing you falter when Erwin takes so much pride in having a very capable and composed doll beside him." Apart from the annoying name-calling, Levi telling you that Erwin takes pride in having you by his side got you in sheer lament. You bit your lower lip and furrowed your brows. Still attempting to hide the pathetic expression from Levi, you turned your head down.

"He said doll? Maybe I'd be the one to kill him this time." You deadpanned, trying to sway the topic.

"Well," He clarified. "As silly as it sounds, he also flinches whenever I call you that. Sometimes he'd tell me off depending on how sour his mood was. But it's not like he can do anything about it when it's true."

"The scolding's well deserved. You're certainly lacking that considering how terrible your attitude is."

"Still way better than you, though." He retorted. "Looking so noble and level-headed beside him yet completely goes sulking down the ground the time you got separated."

"Don't make everything about him." You shot back. "I'm just completely devastated with our predicament. You know next to him that I'm not the coolheaded soldier people regard me to be." You brushed your hands through your head frustratingly with a ragged sigh. "Let me take off my mask for once."

"We'll definitely have him alive from this." He firmly remarked out of nowhere. "So stop looking so distraught in front of me." That silly assurance quickly brought the pent-up tears down your eyes. Despite the heavy confrontation earlier, you're still very afraid of losing him like that day again. Nonetheless, it was a silent cry and you remained to conceal your face from the man talking so he won't get too annoying in pointing it out. Not even a word came out from you because responding to that doesn't seem to be necessary anymore. However, you forgot how sharp Levi was and there's no use in trying. He quickly yet hardly threw his cloak over you so your curled-up figure would be covered. "There, take off your mask when no one can see. You already look bad when faltering but more displeasing when you try holding it. Don't let the kids see that, and don't make my sight as foul as it already is." So you did. You let out weak sniffs and sobs and Levi let you do so.

You always knew Erwin is bound to troubles and death but you expected to at least be able to protect him from this situation because all the years you were with him that was your primary job. The predicament was affecting you more than anything else because here, it daunted you that even in this matter your efforts would still end up failing. "I have all the chance to run away now yet I'm just curled up here, having repulsive thoughts such as the want to stay beside him among many other things." You muttered weakly under the cloak but still enough for Levi to hear. "Considering all the awful things we've witnessed so far, how pathetic this could be."

"He'd be darkly delighted to hear that."

"Right. He seems to make use of all the weaknesses he sees towards everyone. Knowing mine would make him satisfied for sure."

Levi let out a constricted snort in response, "And when I thought you could really see right through him."

You sighed, "Then maybe stop being cryptic about it and tell me why instead." You deadpanned.

"Look," Levi called your name seriously. "Your unwavering resolve to stand beside him is exactly what would save him from this terrible fuckery. So you better get in your senses right after you let all your shit out. Don't let him disappear from your eyes even in a moment, understand?" He pressed. "Considering all the information you've told off, we should never take our enemies lightly even if they're relatively easy to put down than the titans."

"I know that more than anyone else, that's why I'm immensely agitated." You slid Levi's cloak out of you, held tight to it, and turned your head up to him. "And I definitely won't let him out of my grasp. He doesn't seem to be willing to throw me into death yet considering his faltering orders but I hope when the crisis warrants it, he would let me be. That's the only thing I need of him."

"How pitiful is that," Levi pondered. "He's not the one to slip away from the mission and he tends to use all of his cards. So when he pressed to not let you in this mission and kept on being vague about it, I almost knocked him off. Hange just stepped up because you're a very important person in this call."

"Of course, he would deem me unnecessary the time he realizes how weak I've become for something, for him at that."

Levi shook his head to disagree, "As much as I hate him getting out of his senses, Erwin seems tired of throwing you into all sorts of life and death crap. Maybe he realized this was his tipping point. There are countless times you confronted a titan to make him and everyone safe that got yourself wounded. All of that because he told you so. Maybe dropping you into safety was his way to alleviate the guilt a tiny bit so he could move forward. He's cruel but still a wavering human. Don't disregard that."

"Is that so," Your eyes instantly laced with regret. "That's terrible of me, then. Maybe I really can't see through him."

"In this one, at least, because you seem to be emotionally down bad for him that even if he's dropping signs on how he's the same, you keep on brushing that off."

You let out a weak laugh, "You might be right on that." You lied. You're not the one to rely on anyone's words and you still believe you're not dense enough to have that unnoticed. You stood up and walked back inside but he called your name with scorn. "Where are you bringing my cloak?"

"To wash it. I'm sure you won't like this thing draping your skin after mindlessly throwing it to me, don't you think?"

He got silent and just blinked a few times. "Right. I actually don't mind that but go on while you're at it. The last time I washed that cloak was yesterday morning."

"Terrible. Unhygienic." You remarked sarcastically. In a crisis like this, Hange's cloak smelling like it's seen better days is something insanely normal. But then he raised his brows at you and scoffed, "Don't even get me started on that."

"Levi," You looked him in the eyes and smiled. "We seem to hold that man with great fondness in our own ways. I'm deadset on making him see the basement so I'm very relieved being with you on this one."

"I don't think we're on the same footing. I feel like I'm rather messing with him in the back." He dryly remarked, "So don't rely on me too much regarding your silly feelings. Erwin better do the same as well."

Again, where did that come from? "To be honest, I actually don't get where you're coming at and it's been annoying me for a while now," You flatly replied and folded his cloak along the way. "But I'm not in the mood to press. Go on, I guess. Whatever that was."

"Right. As you should."

"Anyway," You looked at him again, "I cleaned Isabel and Furlan's stones. Clean my brother's if you come to drop by."

"You're not even doing it seriously."

"You bet. It's shinier than your face now. Go visit them for once."

"I can't," Levi heaved a sigh. "We're busy as it is. And I don't wish to be vulnerable at any moment now."

"It's okay. At this point, she'll be more fond of me than she ever was with you." You clicked a tongue, "So, clean my brother's stone, okay?" You smiled. He looked at you flatly. Assuming he's still unconvinced, you added. "Black tea. Royal capital."

Levi released a gruffed sigh, "Fine."

You sneered, "That's our captain."