A/N: Admittedly this might not make much sense without the photos. They're posted with the story on AO3 under my same username.

Ian supposes this was all his fault. He was the one who suggested (insisted) Mickey create a social media account. He'd had visions of posting photos of the two of them and then tagging his husband. He wanted to document their life. He wanted to have nice photos to look back on.

Maybe wage a war against Ethan and Nick, their neighbors who always post the cutesiest shit.

Plus, he was interested in what Mickey would post. Would Mickey start taking more pictures? Maybe it would give Mickey an easy outlet to express himself? Say things he wouldn't normally say in person?

By the time Mickey made his first post, it had been a few weeks since he'd created an account, and Ian had thought Mickey forgot all about the app.

He received a notification that mickgallagher posted and couldn't click on it fast enough, eager to see what Mick finally decided to finally share.

He stared dumbfounded. It was just a picture of their kitchen counter. The clock Mickey had given him on their second wedding anniversary, the weird green jugs from Tami, their microwave and stove, an old recipe book they were working their way through, and a utensil canister.

PIC

mickgallagher

Ian's head tilted in consideration. Maybe the upload was a mistake? There wasn't a caption. Not even something along the lines of taking credit for how clean the stovetop was.

Ian pocketed his phone and returned his attention to the movie as Mickey returned to the couch with popcorn.

The next time Ian got a notification about a post from mickgallagher, he almost missed the point of the photo. It was their living room. Tidied up after the prior night's movie night (the books had been knocked to the ground, but then so had they).

PIC

mickgallagher Anyone get rugburn on their ass from movie night? Asking for a friend. Someone tell my husband we need a softer rug.

Since he was still staring at the photo on his phone screen, he answered Debbie's call as soon as it came in.

"I knew Mickey stole my potato masher as soon as I couldn't find it! I want it back, Ian!"

Ian put her on speaker and went back to the photo. "I don't know why its on our couch, Debs. I didn't even realize we had it."

"I want it back!"

Ian mentally shrugged and hung up. He went back to the list he had on his phone and compared it to the wall of spices on the store shelf.

A text interrupted him next.

Tami: are you fucking kidding with that itchy straw-looking rug? Get a softer rug, you moron. No one deserves rugburn. I bet your knees are fucked up too.

Ian sighed and wondered if his husband would notice if he deleted the app off Mick's phone.

The next notification had Ian rolling his eyes hard to the back of his head. Mickey was going to act like he didn't enjoy the tomatoes… He paused his internal rant, squinted again at the photo, and snorted when he spotted it.

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mickgallagher Someone tell my husband that we're supposed to be able to stand on our balcony

debsdoeseveything you're not fucking funny mickey. Bring that back to the next family dinner!

ethanonthewestside iangallagher interested in a produce swap? We grow peppers and eggplant on our balcony next door

mickgallagher keep your fucking eggplant to yourself

iangallagher don't mind Mickey. he's just picky. It'd be great to swap when the tomatoes ripen

Ian expected the next notification. He'd been fully involved in taking the photo this time. He'd had to get that stupid masher to "stand up like a person" and then jump out of the photo six times before they got a photo Mickey was happy with.

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mickgallagher date night. This fucker insisted on going first

iangallagher I want a rematch

lipg Ian please tell me the masher didn't beat you

iangallagher Mickey rolled for it!

mickgallagher he doesn't have thumbs Ian! Was I not supposed to help a bro out?

PIC

mickgallagher Grabbing a beer. A single beer since bougie west side beer thinks its worth my entire wallet

sandymilk who taught you the word bougie. I just want to talk to them

iangallagher that better be all you're grabbing

debsdoeseverything dammit mickey. Do you understand how much I'm going to have to sanitize that before I can use it again?

Ian wishes he could say he was surprised at what happened next. But he's not.

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debsdoeseverything look and learn mickey. this is what you're supposed to do with it.

mickgallagher get your potatoes away from him. he's not your fucking servant.

iangallagher did you break into our fucking apartment?

tamtam *eating popcorn* you're in big trouble now Debs

Mickey was quiet the entire ride home from family dinner. He hadn't wanted to go but they'd skipped out on the last two dinners for date nights and when Ian insisted that they attend tonight, Mickey had relented. Ian had optimistically thought they could all clear the air, but it had been a night of Mickey glaring at Debbie and Debbie looking smug in response.

Ian waited till they made it into their apartment before pressing Mickey to the door and kissing him. His hands gripped Mickey's waist as Mickey relaxed beneath him. He smiled when he felt one of Mickey's hands rise to cup the back of his head.

"Got ya something," Ian murmured as he reached behind himself and pulled the masher from where he'd hidden it, in his back pocket, hidden under his shirt. He handed it over to Mickey.

"You stole it back?" Mickey's eyes were so fucking bright. So fucking excited about a kitchen tool. Ian's new goal in life was to keep this stupid thing safe and in Mickey's possession.

"Actually, Frannie stole it back and asked me to give it to you."

Mickey's grin was infectious. "I love that kid."

"What about me?" Ian teased.

"You're just transport, Red. Congrats on doing the job you do every day for a living."

Ian sputtered, fully offended. He still let Mickey push him down on their new soft living room rug.

He was out on a run when the call came in.

"What's up, Debs?" He jogged in place at a crosswalk until it was clear to cross.

"This is ridiculous, Ian. My own daughter?"

"Debs," Ian sighed dramatically. "Can I just buy you a new one?"

"Why do I have to be the one to give it up? It was mine!"

"First, it's the Gallagher potato masher," Ian pointed out. He smiled at lady who shot him a weird look. Yes, he understood that that was a weird sentence to have to say. "And second, Mickey is having fun with this. He's actually doing things on the West Side without complaining too much and he's using social media. Just let him have this, okay?"

"That's a dumb reason for him to get to steal from me," Debs grumbled. "This isn't over, Ian."

"Debbie," Ian growled, "stay away from Mickey's masher."

He got another weird look from another passerby. He didn't care this time. Mickey was keeping that masher.

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mickgallagher Back the fuck up. He's mine. So is the redhead.

debsdoeseverything et tu Ian? Where's the family loyalty?

tamtam oh, can I say it? can I? Mickey's family!

iangallagher that masher is our son now Debs. Maybe one day you'll meet someone nice and get your own masher

lipg where the fuck did you get those clothes?

iangallagher why? You want to borrow?

lipg …yes

ethanonthewestside damnnnnn our pool has never looked so good

mickgallagher the caption is pretty clear man

debsdoeseverything give me my goddamn masher back!

Mickey snorted and then rubbed his nose against Ian's neck. He was pressed against Ian in their bed, head resting on Ian's shoulder as he watched Ian type on his phone.

"You're really going to post that?"

"I bet Debbie never tries to steal it again if I do."

Mickey laughed again and nodded in agreement.

PIC

iangallagher lazy Sunday

debsdoeseverything Fine. Keep it. Pervs

lipg remind me to never eat mashed potatoes at your place

ethanonthewestside eh I bet they'd be pretty good

mickgallagher no one fuckin offered you any!

tamtam hey mick last time I was at Debbie's I saw these things she said were called meat claws

debsdoeseverything I hate you both