Routine Two:

II

It's like Terminator or Back to the Future, except she hasn't physically gone back to the past. At least, she doesn't think she has. She isn't shattered, broken for one. If she follows Terminator logic, she should be naked, and another Chrissy should be the one waking up in her bed. Two of the same people in the same place. Same thing with the Back to the Future thing, and she's pretty sure she's never met a disgraced nuclear physicist in her life, and being broken like a Chinadoll hadn't exactly been the same as racing at 88 miles an hour. So she can only conclude that she has mentally gone back to the morning- the morning she's killed by the voices.

No, it had been by that deeper voice, that hide behind the voices of all the worse things to her.

He had promised to make it better.

And he broke me into pieces and he liked it. I could feel his happiness as he twisted and snapped my bones.

I could see it in his face, warped and inhuman as it was, he had been smiling, and his joy had bubbled up in him like carbonation in a soda, set to overflow.

She sips at her small cup of Silm Fast with the smallest of pulls, walking up the steps of Hawkins High, all Cheer Captain Chrissy. She was declared 'perfect' by her mother, or at least enough to get dropped off at school for the pep-rally. Jason is going to say all the same things, that he loves her, all while using the names of the students that had died in the last few years. She looses herself in the motions, flying, flipping in the air, only coming to land after their routine, a normal one, is done. And it feels- It feels hollow as it had the first time, but she still smiles, still cheers, still acts bashful in all the right places.

What else is she supposed to do?

She goes through the day on auto-pilot. The voices, the whispers are still there. Spiders in the corner of her eyes, four clock chimes- And Chrissy is pretty sure that if she doesn't think smart, she's gonna end up like she had last time. Chinadoll Chrissy, Cheerleader Humpty Dumpty, and not even all the King's men can put her together again. Her stomach turns around her bland Slim Fast all day, and the whispers are getting louder and louder. Chrissy realizes she's at lunch, already in the Cafeteria, with the day already having passed- and it's the last day of her life and she's just- spent it in a haze and not in control. Just like the rest of my life, then. It feels wasted, and she realizes she feels like crying, liking hiding somewhere tight and safe. But she also doesn't want to hide, because He had started to kill her when she was alone, and the voices were worse when she was alone.

A voice crows, loud and bright, "Yeah, yeah, and I was full of shit! This year's different. This year is my year. I can feel it. '86, baby!"

She stares at Eddie Munson, sweeter than she ever thought and not scary at all, and watches as he talks bright and loud and just too muchness- And something warms her in her, something eases off of her numbed haze as she hears his phrase. He's loud and too-muchness, but he's holding onto the freshmen boys kindly, and his eyes are warm and his smile is just as bright as it had been last night, even if he seems a touch annoyed.

Her white keds are moving before she can really think.

He's gesturing wildly, and he doesn't see her. He knocks into her, just a bit. It's barely felt, but his arms are wild and gesturing as wildly as when he saw her freaking out in the woods-

"Whoa there- You good Cunningham?" His voice changes. Not as bright, not as vibrant as before.

And she knows it's because he's expecting her to- to maybe just be afraid of him? Or be mean or petty or just- But- But she knows that Eddie is nice, and he's just waiting for her to be mean because she's Jason's girlfriend. She swallows.

"I- Hi," she says, lamely, because she can't think of what to say to him.

He had been nice and he had watched her die. Crumbs- It must have sucked, and devastated him. But, judging by the slight confusion and his calm expression, he's like everyone else. Like it hadn't happened. It's like a cheer routine, she thinks, suddenly. This strange reset, this time traveling and she's the only one who knows the choreography, the music, and the stunts. And everyone else is learning it from the top. She stares at his face and watches the pale expanse of his face shift, curiosity and just a little bit surprised. She fiddles with her necklace- another gift from her brother.

"'86, Missy Chrissy,"Thomas had grinned, nose wrinling, green eyes shinning, "It's gonna be your year."

"Uh, Hi," his response isn't- isn't dickish- it's more like perfectly curious, a little guarded.

She swallows. She's ignoring the fact that the chimes of the clock are getting louder. She focuses on Eddie, blinking rapidly. There aren't any spiders. There aren't.

"I just…Oh crumbs," she knows nothing about him, and she's being weird, and it… "I just heard what you were saying. About- About graduating."

His brows are furrowed. And he shifts back, arms crossed. His rings glint in the low lights of the cafeteria. She thinks- she thinks she had felt those rings on her face in the original run of this, felt it hitting against her face gently as he tried to snap her out of it. She's never known a boy to wear a ring beyond a wedding band or their graduation one, and she finds that she likes them, that it suits the metalhead really well. She feels her face flush behind her makeup, and the cafeteria explodes into whispers. Come on Chrissy, you were brave enough to ask for freaking drugs from when you thought he was mean and scary.

"And that I think you're right, it's- it is your year, Eddie Munson," she's babbling, she usually knows not to say much. She's not really smart, she's not really interesting and she can barely keep a conversation with people who know her, "So-So good luck. And I hope you get to flip off Principal Higgans."

Good luck, and she's sorry. She really is for letting him watch her die.

He blushes.

Eddie Munson listens to her babble and he blushes. Just a touch, highlighting his cheekbones, a sweet sort of pink that she thinks is far too cute.

"Hey Freak, what the hell?!" Jason calls, "Stay away from my girl!"

He's storming their way.

"What- What did you call him?" she's stunned because he's not calling Eddie like Eddie had called her- it was mean.

Jason scowls.

"A freak, Chrissy. Because that's what he is, running around with his creepy game stuff- God why are you even talking to him?"

He reaches over. Grips her wrist as he always does. Chrissy flinches. A clock chimes again.

"Chrissy…"